Vulva Cancer survivor

I am looking for other woman that have been through what I have been through. Let me begin from the beginning. When I was 38 my periods just stopped. I just figured I was going through early menopause. Well.in December of 2021 when I was 39 I found a lump. I was freaked out a little but kind of put it out of my mind. It took my 2 months to tell my husband about it. He just brushed it off so then so did I. At first I just thought that it was a cyst. 2 1/2 years later in January 2023 my husband kicked me out of the house and I was homeless for 4 months. The day our divorce was final I got into my apartment. Things were looking up. 3 weeks later at the age of 41 I found out it was cancer. I had my surgery on July 11th 2023. They removed my clitoris and lymph nodes. I went through a lot by myself. 5 months later I met a guy. My beatfriend asked me if I told him everything. I told her that I didn't see how I couldn't. He was very understanding and we are still together almost 11 months later. He has been amazing. But here is my issue. I have always been that person that gets into my own head and my feeling. We have not been able to have sex. I am just way to tight. I am afraid that what we do is not going to be enough. He says that if it wasn't the He wouldn't still be here. I am just scared and wanted to talk to people that truly understand what I have gone through.

Comments

  • NoTimeForCancer
    NoTimeForCancer Member Posts: 3,493 Member

    Wonderphinwoman, you have gone through a lot, and vulvar cancer is so rare finding others who have gone through that is a challenge.

    I am a visitor from the Uterine/Endometrial cancer page and like to check on our gyn sisters.

    Good for you for telling the new guy everything. He eventually would have needed to know, so leading with honesty is the best part. I have been through less and don't think there is a guy out there who would be as understanding.

    Sex is a part of an intimate relationship. I would suggest the Foundation of Women's Cancer, Educational Courses & Webinars, specifically the Uniquely you: Embracing Sex and Intimacy After Cancer. I am putting the link below, but in case it doesn't post, I hope you can find it.

    https://foundationforwomenscancer.org/resources/educational-courses-webinars/