This is so surreal I still can't quite believe it...

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  • ImNotDeadYet
    ImNotDeadYet Member Posts: 244
    #22
    Wishing the best for you and

    Wishing the best for you and your husband. And yes, what a wild coincidence. About seven or eight months before my diagnosis, a colleague from work was diagnosed with RCC. I also tend to question  just how rare it really is. 

  • icemantoo
    icemantoo Member Posts: 3,361 Member
    edited March 2019 #23
    One per family is a neph.

    Marosa,

     

     

    Hopefully with all your knowledge this will be a lot easier for him. Here's sending good karma to Mr, Marosa.

     

     

     

     

     

    icemantoo

  • Wehavenotimeatall
    Wehavenotimeatall Member Posts: 488 Member
    #24
    Dear God

    I will pray and send you strength 

    not easy but you know the drill

    he has you by his side

    good vibes only

     

    Annie

  • JerzyGrrl
    JerzyGrrl Member Posts: 760 Member
    #25
    What odds

    Wow. The American Cancer Society says that over our lifetimes, the odds of getting kidney cancer are 1 out of 48 in men and 1 out of 83 in women. It's in the top 10 of cancers and only rare if you're under 45. How do we end up being in the "1"? If we knew, we sure wouldn't do it. OK, maybe we wouldn't do it because we'd figure "not me." Not to mention, most of us who are already in the club would probably be willing to take an RCC "bullet" for someone we love instead of them having to have it. But again, we don't know how. All of which absolutely stinks. But here we are. 

    Sending much love your way, Marosa, along with thoughts for strength, peace, and perseverance. 

  • Positive_Mental_Attitude
    Positive_Mental_Attitude Member Posts: 454
    #26

    Receiving such news is never easy.   As someone else said, one cancer per household is enough.  My two brothers and I went 3 for 3 in the cancer lottery.  All different forms of cancer, but luckily, we each have had positive outcomes.  May your husband's outcome be positive too.

  • Darron
    Darron Member Posts: 310 Member
    #27
    marosa said:

    Thank you all for your caring messages

    We know how much it means for us to stick together and help each other.  In many ways, we do it better than anyone else because we are or have been there.  I appreciate every single word in your messages.  They give me strength and help me be positive for my husband.  We will be busy getting ready to leave on Saturday to France.  I will get back with news when we are there and know more.  Thank you again, old friends and new.  Be well

    Wow

    There is a big advantage knowing how to fight and not being so scared of the unknown. My mother was actually diagnosed with stage I recently. It was bizarre to be so calm thru the process.

    be stone and fight together! I am curious, did they suggest genetic testing for your children? We are trying to decide if I should be tested since my mother’s diagnosis. thiught is that if I have a bad gene, they would then look at my two boys genetics.

  • marosa
    marosa Member Posts: 334 Member
    #28
    the news are not great

    My husband has a 7cm mass in his right kidney and many tiny mets in his lungs, biggest is 8mm  This has been a terrible shock for us.  I was hoping that with just a cm bigger than my tumor was, his would also be more manageable, encapsulated and not metastized.

    He is so calm, so stress free, feeling so hopeful and full of faith about it, it breaks my heart.  I so want to be strong for him as he was and has continued to be for me. We were sitting in a terrace cafe yesterday after the results and he had such a calm handsome face!  Im a photographer, I could not help taking his picture, he was taking in the pleasure of the soft spring breeze and warm April sun in his beautiful city of Paris.

    We are waiting to hear from my surgeon.  His case was discussed last night with a group of urologic surgeons and he has an appointment tomorrow with a top French oncologist, I think both will discuss what protocol will be used to treat him.

    Im so worried and sad.  It was so hard to talk to our sons last night on the other side of the Atlantic.  He was so upbeat and so like every other day, Im not even sure they understood well the severity.  They are used to seeing how well I have been doing and tha's what's they picture.  This is good, I know, but, but...

    I have been brave with the news for him and for us but inside It feels very painful. I know there are many positive stories out there.  Im sure I'll feel more confident, but that is not how I feel today.   Good vibes and advice are very welcome and needed.  Thank you.

  • Allochka
    Allochka Member Posts: 1,072 Member
    #29
    ****, ****, ****...

    ****, ****, ****...

    Hugs, Marosa, I'd wish I could help more. No need to be strong every second - you can always come here and be scared and sad if you need to... As you know yourself, there are many positive stories here. Read them all, once, twice, three times, until you gain strength and confidence. This is not the end.

    Your husband seems a very strong and optimimstic person. You will deal with it together! 

  • Retcenturion
    Retcenturion Member Posts: 240 Member
    #30
    Not what you wanted to hear

    You have been here longer than me. You know that you're going through this together. And, I think it is worse for the caregiver and you will have been in both situations. Sending positive and calming thoughts for you and your husband. 

  • marosa
    marosa Member Posts: 334 Member
    #31
    Feeling much better!

    Hello everyone and thank you so much for bearing with me yesterday when I was so low and discouraging.  We had a very long appointment today with a very reputed doctor and my husband and I walked out from his office feeling like a ton of bricks had lifted off our chests!  Not to disminish the seriousness but so full of hope and options!

    Im unable to narrate now all the ammount of information we received but I would like to say to all who find themselves in a similar situation as my husband today, don't dispair, there are so many advances today in medicine!  From the 4 years and a half since my own diagnosis there have been so many advances made!  Forgive me if I was not in my best shape yesterday.  I have great admiration, respect and love for all of us going thru different situations with this same burden.

    May you all be well.  Thank you for your caring messages.

    Marosa

  • eug91
    eug91 Member Posts: 471 Member
    #32
    terrific!

    Glad you're feeling better! Yes, modern medical advances are mind-boggling - and there are so many new treatments available, we have many reasons to be hopeful and optimistic. 

    [Side note: sigh, I miss Paris. Gotta find an excuse to go back.]

    Stay strong, Marosa - we're here if you need us. You've got this!

  • Allochka
    Allochka Member Posts: 1,072 Member
    #33
    This is so great to hear! No

    This is so great to hear! No need to ask for forgiveness - we are here to support each other in the darkest hours.

    Your husband will be treated and will be doing fine :-)

    Kisses and hugs!

     

  • Deanie0916
    Deanie0916 Member Posts: 626 Member
    #34
    Marisa and hubby

    Sorry to hear about your husband and the diagnosis. How bizarre. I know you will be a source of strength and knowledge for him. My good thoughts and prayers are with you both.

  • JerzyGrrl
    JerzyGrrl Member Posts: 760 Member
    #35
    May all...

    May all your coming surprises be good ones. Glad the ton (tonne?) of bricks has been lifted. We have so many people to thank for how treatments have progressed (including many who've been here, taking part in drug testing).

    Love, hope, and all the best to you both. 

  • lobbyist0724
    lobbyist0724 Member Posts: 515 Member
    #36
    I am sorry to hear the news.

    I am sorry to hear the news. My wife has Thyroid cancer in her 20's and I never thought I would have cancer before my 70's but I got my RCC in my 40's. I was asking myself, what's the odds. But having the same type is just unreal as you described. I wish the treatment will be extremely effective and long lasting!

    Also, please take care of yourself too, best wishes.  

  • Manufred
    Manufred Member Posts: 241 Member
    #37
    Ne Regrette

    Marosa,

    Nothing to apologise for - you have every right to suffer and express the full range of emotions that come with this thing.

    Is hubby into photography as well?

    Anyone else out there have a history of photography (before digital?).

    Best Wishes, Fred

  • marosa
    marosa Member Posts: 334 Member
    #38
    than you so much everyone

    For the encouragement and positive messages.  I've read with joy the visits from uncle NED posts and with empathy and concern all the rest. I feel like making my writen contribution but I don't have much energy left for it at the moment.  Im hoping some of you who have posted will read this. Sending good vibes and holding hands together in this journey we have in commun.

    Treatment for my husband will begin in some days.  I'll give news and maybe compare start of treatment choice here in France with that of the USA

    And yes, not genetic testings but yes check-up and ultrasound for our two sons.  A couple doctors believe its just one of those things in life.. there is one who doubts this coincidence.  I cant think of anything in living or working enviroment that would rise eyebrows as how we both got this.

    Manufred, Im the photographer in the fam, my husband was in advertising and then went to start up technologies, now retired. And I started photography 28 years ago so yes, way before the digital era!

     

     

     

     

     

  • Manufred
    Manufred Member Posts: 241 Member
    #39
    marosa said:

    than you so much everyone

    For the encouragement and positive messages.  I've read with joy the visits from uncle NED posts and with empathy and concern all the rest. I feel like making my writen contribution but I don't have much energy left for it at the moment.  Im hoping some of you who have posted will read this. Sending good vibes and holding hands together in this journey we have in commun.

    Treatment for my husband will begin in some days.  I'll give news and maybe compare start of treatment choice here in France with that of the USA

    And yes, not genetic testings but yes check-up and ultrasound for our two sons.  A couple doctors believe its just one of those things in life.. there is one who doubts this coincidence.  I cant think of anything in living or working enviroment that would rise eyebrows as how we both got this.

    Manufred, Im the photographer in the fam, my husband was in advertising and then went to start up technologies, now retired. And I started photography 28 years ago so yes, way before the digital era!

     

     

     

     

     

    Dark Chemistry

    Marosa,

    I asked because I to have been trying to think what prior exposure in my life may have given me the cancer.

    I am an industrial chemist and have been exposed to numerous chemicals over the years, but I also developed an interest in photography back in the 1970's and ran a dark-room at home for some years.  Lot of chemicals involved in that as I imagine you are well aware.

    I have not ever heard of a link between dark-room chemicals and cancer, but then we live and learn.

    Bonne Chance, Fred

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