Post RP and SRT journey - oh joy

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  • hewhositsoncushions
    hewhositsoncushions Member Posts: 408 Member
    Hi all

    Hi all

    I expect to get slapped for being a wuss but I'm getting odd feelings under my left arm and although I cannot feel anything lumpy I do worry. Logical brain says referred IBS feelings but wuss brain says OMFG lymph nodes! I would be right in sticking with my logical brain at this stage. Amirite?

    Yours

    Captain Wuss

  • VascodaGama
    VascodaGama Member Posts: 3,501 Member
    Out-of-the-box brain says .........

    Cushions,

    Survivors tend to connect feelings with the cancer. That is naturally not a wuss behavior. In any case, the sensation may be a cause of an infection in your chest. Even a cold could generate such feeling. Worries due to other affairs may play the trick too. Have you bought already the Christmas presents? I worry with that at the moment.

    Best wishes for a happy season.

    VG

     

  • Josephg
    Josephg Member Posts: 317 Member
    edited December 2019 #144
    Could Be Many Causes

    It is natural to have these feelings, Hew, as a PCa survivor.  However, it could be any number of benign natural causes.  It could be as simple as a blocked skin perspiration pore, or it could be inverse psoriasis, which I am currently battling.

    If it will make you feel better, go consult with your primary care physician.

  • Max Former Hodgkins Stage 3
    Max Former Hodgkins Stage 3 Member Posts: 3,726 Member
    Nodes

    hewho,

    I've had advanced Lymphoma, and have studied the disease for a decade now.   Your suspicion that a sensation in your armpit may be PCa that has reached that location makes no sense at all.  I'll explain a bit.

    There are two ways lymph nodes may contain cancer: Lymphoma itself, either Hodgkin's or non-Hodgkin's type, or an organ cancer that is metastatic, via the lymphatic system.   PCa enters the lymphatic system via the so-called sentinel nodes, which are the nodes adjacent to the gland in the pelvic region.  When this occurs, the most common point of delivery for metastasis are:  (1) bone marrow; (2) the lungs; and (3) other organs.    To my knowledge, lymph nodes containing PCa cells do not ordinarily enlarge, or become tumors themselves; this is equally true of any other cancer that has entered the nodes.  They lymophatic system is basically a secondary circulation system, and the cancerous cells escape later into various other organs, which constitutes metastatic disease.    This "flow" is almost always contiguous, so the possibility of an enlarged node being PCa is very close to totally impossible: in part because PCa simply does not enlarge nodes, and how distant it is from your pelvis, given your extremely low PSA readings.

    The "other" way nodes may enlarge is via lymphoma.  This spread can be contiguous or non-contiguous, and may create massive tumors.  My biopsy tumor was the size of a golf ball, and the surgeon said I had many others of about that size throughout my chest area.  ANY organ cancer in the lymphatic system is NOT lymphoma, of any form.  It is the organ cancer going on a joy ride, and it might jump off somewhere, and it might not.  But it will not create huge (palpable) tumors elsewhere in the body.  Inflamation and autoimmune conditions can also temporarily enlarge nodes, which is a completely normal part of living life.

    I traced through this to reassure you that whatever you are feeling is virtually impossible to be PCa having spread.   Actually, your microscopic PSA results by themselves very nearly confirm no metastasis.   So down some Ale and enjoy the holidays.   

    As always, share any concerns with your doctor, since also as always, we writing here claim no credientals of any form,

    max 

  • Georges Calvez
    Georges Calvez Member Posts: 546 Member
    Bodysnatchers

    Hi Captain Wuss,

    This is prostate cancer, not the invasion of the bodysnatchers!
    It kind of creeps along with a rising PSA a long time before you find a metastase.
    Christmas Eve next Tuesday, time to crack on with things, aaargh
    So splice the mainbrace, pour yourself a rum, steady in the ranks there, etc!

    Happy Christmas And A Healthy New Year!!!!,

    Georges

  • hewhositsoncushions
    hewhositsoncushions Member Posts: 408 Member
    Cheers guys

    Cheers guys

    Feeling low as unemployed just before Xmas and too much time to think.

    I shall look to Xmas cheer and ale to spice things up.

    H

  • Steve1961
    Steve1961 Member Posts: 301
    I know how you feel

    everyday I kick my self for not having sirgery done ..I think about it over and over ..every time I urinate because I can’t empty my bladder  rverytime I have a bowel movement because it’s never normal now ..every night when I take flomax ..I hate that  crap .the capsule smells disgusting I can’t imagine what’s it’s doing to me ..PSA bounce ..my PSA is at 2   15 months after treatment .only 2 .in February it will be 18 months ..I hope it’s down to below 1 ..if not they may do another MRI or biopsy to see what’s up..great ..I also have a muscle disease distal spinal muscular atrophy a form of MD ..it came on around 42 years old .NO calf muscles at all ....I also have a hernia starting up andcarpal tunnel in my left wrist real bad ..right one as well ..I feel like I should be taken out to pasture and shot ..it really sucks ..all I can think of is if I ever need HT it will. Do me in ..I have a physical job and at the end of the day I’m wiped ..I can barely get off the couch ..I just wish I could get more than 6 hours of aleeep a night but I can’t ..I wake up and atart thinking and worrying ..it sucks I just can’t help it ..it’s hereditary from my moms side ..anxiety depresssion ,,sucks bad ..I hope and pray I get undectable sooner than later that will be the only way I can find peace ..GOD BLESS ALL OF US ..I always pray it seems to help 

     

  • Georges Calvez
    Georges Calvez Member Posts: 546 Member
    Cheer

    Hi Hew,

    My post was a bit tongue in cheek, it happens to us all.
    My PSA was and I hope still is effectively zero but I occasionally worry that something is going on when I get a twinge!

    Happy Christmas,

    Georges

  • hewhositsoncushions
    hewhositsoncushions Member Posts: 408 Member
    Next test in a few weeks. Am

    Next test in a few weeks. Am suprisingly detached but I think I have buried it rather than lost the fear.

  • VascodaGama
    VascodaGama Member Posts: 3,501 Member
    Smile

    Smile

    Yes, it may be the case.

    Quem sera sera 

  • hewhositsoncushions
    hewhositsoncushions Member Posts: 408 Member
    Indeed it will :)

    Indeed it will :)

    Just wanted to thank you all for your kind words helping me with my fears.

  • Georges Calvez
    Georges Calvez Member Posts: 546 Member
    Blasé

    Hi Cushions,

    My next is at the end of March and I am at the moment at least quite cool about it despite the fact that I know that I am running on fumes with respect to ADT, etc so the chance that the cancer will return is increasing.
    Wife keeps on saying that I am cured, yeah right!

    Best wishes,

    Georges

  • Josephg
    Josephg Member Posts: 317 Member
    edited January 2020 #154
    Anxiety Prior to the PSA Draw and Doctor Visit

    Yes, I believe that all of us were/are anxious, prior to the next visit to the doctor for a PSA reading.

    I know that for me, during the early years of my PCa journey, I'd start to become anxious up to a month or so, prior to the visit.  At first, I was not even aware that I was becoming anxious, but the folks close to me were aware.  I'd get questions like, "Are you feeling OK today?", or "You seem distracted today.", or "Geez, you seem irritated about something today.".  And, after some reflection upon these comments, I would realize that the upcoming doctor visit was in fact the source of my anxiety.  The point here is that your anxiety does not only impact you, but it also impacts the folks around you, and not in a positive way.

    Over time, as I finally fully and totally accepted the fact that I had PCa, my anxiety prior to each periodic doctor visit subsided for the most part.  Sure, I still do get a little bit anxious prior to the doctor visit, the fear of the unknown new PSA number, but only a small fraction of what it was in the early days.  And, I make a very concerted effort not to let any of my small anxiety spill over onto the folks around me, as it is simply not fair to them.

    I believe that a major part of the solution to anxiety prior to the doctor visit, and to the whole PCa journey as well, is to totally and fully accept the fact that PCa has crossed your path in life.  It does not matter how or why it happened, and the lack of acceptance does not change any of the future outcomes associated with PCa journey.  Accept the fact that PCa has crossed your path in life, and move forward in life, day by day, making the most of each day.  Yes, it is not an easy acceptance, and some PCa patients may never reach that point, but it is very much required, and the sooner the better, for both your personal state of mind and the relationships with the folks around you.

    In my opinion, life is like an extended game of cards.  You are dealt many hands of cards during the card game of game, and you have absolutely no control over the cards that you are dealt in each hand.  What you do have control of, however, is how you play those cards that you are dealt.  Play the cards that you are dealt in each hand in the card game of life to the best of your ability, and then you have done the best that you can do for yourself, and equally important, for the folks around you.

  • hewhositsoncushions
    hewhositsoncushions Member Posts: 408 Member
    Georges

    Georges

    Cheers

     

    Joseph

    I think you hit the nail on the head. I am still to a greater or lesser extent "in denial" in that I want to be "cured" and am praying for the numbers to drop to support that desire.

    Your mental position reflects the Stoic / Taoist mindset of embracing the here and now and letting things play out. The challenge I have is that like Indiana Jones in the Last Crusade I need to step off the cliff edge and trust there is an invisible bridge of acceptance and let things play out and deal with them as best I can. The irony is that we are all going to drop off the perch and we do not know when so we might as well stop wittering and get on with it. I am focusing on that right now and trying to get some meditation going.

  • VascodaGama
    VascodaGama Member Posts: 3,501 Member
    Indiana Jones alikes

    Cushions,

    I would rather have sponge cushions down there before stepping off the cliff. Let's play safe. I wonder about the PSA result and above all if you finally got that job you wanted so much. They want IT specialists down here in the Algarve. You may need now a newer passport to cross the Chunnel but you are always welcome for whatever reason. I hope that Boris has not stepped off the cliff by leaving the EU.

    Best,

    VG

  • hewhositsoncushions
    hewhositsoncushions Member Posts: 408 Member
    Hi V

    Hi V

    I had my blood draw yesterday and the results call early next week. What will be will be.

    I would dearly love to work in the EU as this country is going downhill at a rate of knots. I'd emigrate if I could but I doubt a middle aged cancer patient would be let into Portgal :)

  • Georges Calvez
    Georges Calvez Member Posts: 546 Member
    Slow

    Hi there,

    That is slow, I go in during the morning and I have the result for most things like PSA, etc in my personal results account online in the evening.
    I have the results before the doctors, sometimes it is only me that has the results because the dafties lose them.
    Testosterone takes a week because they accumulate the samples and run that one once a week.
    I have a strange attitude towards Brexit I feel that my country has left me, passport runs out in 2025, I think I will be French before that!

    Best wishes,

    Georges

  • VascodaGama
    VascodaGama Member Posts: 3,501 Member
    Sincerely, Georges

    Why changing nationality? Will that bring you any benefit?

    UK nationals are Europeans in the eyes of everyone here and nobody is unwanted for their nationality. With the Brexit, rules and directives may change and so are public benefits. I wonder if UK patients like Cushions can continue using their free-of-charge NHS cards in EU's national health programs. However, in your case, married to a French girl, you may not need to worry about medical matters as you are included in the French system automatically. My wife is English (a Chester girl I met in Tokyo 42 years ago) and she has just renovated her UK passport but she enjoys all social benefits of EU's (including EU's NHS) for being married to a Portuguese. She gets 50% discount on tickets (travel, entertainment, etc) and has a GP like anyone resident here. Cushions would need a working permit if he prefers to continue as a resident of UK, or move to EU as resident paying taxes here and do what he wants. I cannot think on restrictions by employers due to the fact of his PCa case and age. It all depends on what he wants to do and on what's available. IT specialists can do their job independently of age. There are thousands of UK residents in EU that like to be assisted by UK based business. I believe that one of those companies would be interested in Cushions if he has a local resident status. Expat status gets lesser interest. 

    Well, I am also expecting to read about your remission case. Let's celebrate it again.

    VG

     

     

  • Georges Calvez
    Georges Calvez Member Posts: 546 Member
    French nationality

    Hi Vasco,

    I am not going to change nationality, just add one to the one I have already.
    This will make things easier for me in terms of continuing residence as I will avoid the need to have a residence card, etc.
    I am an IT specialist as well and although my French is not bad I have accepted the fact that it is not good enough to work in an office.
    It is possible that I could do other work but I am now 57 and my health has suffered as a result of the treatment.
    Before February 2018 I had a lot more bounce and energy than I have now. For instance I have been a keen gardener for many years and I thought maybe I could start a gardening business but I no longer have the ability to do a full days manual work, I get cold quickly so I cannot stay outside for long periods of time.
    It is possible that I may recover more but that may be offset by aging as well.
    I have not done too badly considering, I have got over the incontinence completely, I hope that more of my sexuality will return, etc, but at the end of the day I have to accept that I have lost some things.

    Best wishes,

    Georges

  • hewhositsoncushions
    hewhositsoncushions Member Posts: 408 Member
    I had a look for IT jobs in

    I had a look for IT jobs in my skillset and they are all in the big cities like Barcelona.

    I would move abroad like a shot if I could get a job, persuade my wife and could guarantee the medical care but neither is likely.

    I am totally disenchanted with the UK and the attutude and culture of the mass of people here.