Tomorrow will be four days till my first treatment and I’m OVERWHELMED
As I sit here I’m counting down the days till my first chemo treatment and first radiation and my heart is racing and I feel numb like a fog like state. The days are easier because I keep busy, the nights not so much all I do is sit and think. I realize Monday is going to come reguardless my worrying and the 7 weeks after said Monday are going to follow. And I know once Monday comes a new countdown will begin and never have I wished weeks to pass quickly other then vacation time, but I’m praying these weeks move along faster then they ever have before.
I admire all of you who have made your way through the weeks and have helped me adjust and wrap my head around what’s to come. Yet I get these nights where I feel I can’t breath, can’t sleep and can’t focus. I pray once Monday comes God gives me the strength to face it with a smile and continues to do so throughout, I pray I don’t become so cranky that my family says enough. I pray for so many things but most I pray that a cure is found and not another human soul has to endure this ever again. I also know many have it worse then me and pray they have their happy ending healthy again.
‘Well off to try and sleep or least ground myself so I can take a mental break....
GOD Bless each of you and thanks for taking the time to read this!!
Charlene
Comments
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Treatments
Stay positive and strong, I know easy said, but it does help. Not sure what kind of Chemo you're getting, but the radiation can go by quickly, close your eyes, and have them play your favorite music. Try to find another person at your cancer treatment center, that's positive, and you can communicate with. A smile goes along ways. I hope and pray for the best for you. I am in my 3rd week of recovery, and getting better day by day. YOU CAN DO THIS!
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Getting closer
Charlene,
You are entertaining. With all your good vibes, the side effects may sidestep you. It doesn’t hurt to hope for good. Be prepared, the rads normally take days to bother you, but the chemo may pop you with nausea right off the bat.
You will need to breathe, you will most likely get a lot of sleep (most of us do) and you can focus as treatments allow.
I don’t know what a cranky Charlene is like, a good way to avoid being cranky is stay hydrated and nourished. This is simply the truth.
Bless you too, you will do fine, but be ready.
Matt
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THANK YOU ALL!!! Anxiety is
THANK YOU ALL!!! Anxiety is just getting the best of me but I know I’ll be good once day one is done. As for the affects of what may or may not come I bought the cool mist humidifie, order the xylimelts, biotene dry mouth spray, stocked up on enusue and bought a water pik for my teeth, to which I used for the first time tonight and needless too say soaked my bathroom lol
God Bless and thanks for the replies,
Charlene
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I was in your place almost 3
I was in your place almost 3 years ago. I read of all the side effects of treatment and fully expected that i would experience each, simultaneously! I was scared, very scared but determined to endure the 7 weeks. The treatment wasn’t easy but it was FAR less nasty than I imagined. You will experience some side effects but not others. I never had nausea, for example. My last scan was NED. You can do this too. Pray and tell your family what you need for support, emotional and physical. And come to this site often, as needed. Bill
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been thinking about you allCharmit said:THANK YOU ALL!!! Anxiety is
THANK YOU ALL!!! Anxiety is just getting the best of me but I know I’ll be good once day one is done. As for the affects of what may or may not come I bought the cool mist humidifie, order the xylimelts, biotene dry mouth spray, stocked up on enusue and bought a water pik for my teeth, to which I used for the first time tonight and needless too say soaked my bathroom lol
God Bless and thanks for the replies,
Charlene
been thinking about you all week. I remember when I was on the count down to start treatment and I thought I was going to lose it! I so know what you are going thru. To say calm down is almost laughable to hear. That being said, You WILL be ok. I promise. If I may make a sugesstion, take pics of your first Chemo, and your first radiation as they are getting you ready. I made a scrapbook and honestly I'm so glad I have those photos now. I've been able to show them to a few people that were going to start treatment and once they saw my pics they were not scared anymore.
Do you know what type of chemo you are getting?
As for radiation, it takes a while before you get any reactions from that. I did have this weird stiff neck after my first treatment and a bit of swelling and it baffled the whole staff there when I went for treatment the second day. I must have slept funny or something. Leave it to me! But any real side affects, those take time and they are gradual.
Wish you lived by me, I'd go visit during your chemo and try and make you laugh with some of my dumb jokes.
You've got this, I promise!!!
Billie
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What a great idea about theBillie67 said:been thinking about you all
been thinking about you all week. I remember when I was on the count down to start treatment and I thought I was going to lose it! I so know what you are going thru. To say calm down is almost laughable to hear. That being said, You WILL be ok. I promise. If I may make a sugesstion, take pics of your first Chemo, and your first radiation as they are getting you ready. I made a scrapbook and honestly I'm so glad I have those photos now. I've been able to show them to a few people that were going to start treatment and once they saw my pics they were not scared anymore.
Do you know what type of chemo you are getting?
As for radiation, it takes a while before you get any reactions from that. I did have this weird stiff neck after my first treatment and a bit of swelling and it baffled the whole staff there when I went for treatment the second day. I must have slept funny or something. Leave it to me! But any real side affects, those take time and they are gradual.
Wish you lived by me, I'd go visit during your chemo and try and make you laugh with some of my dumb jokes.
You've got this, I promise!!!
Billie
What a great idea about the pictures also I was thinking of starting a journal because writing helps me. The chemo is Cisplatin, 7 four hour treatment every Monday then Wednesday and Friday 2 hour treatments but I’m thinking that’s not chemo maybe hydratio. Have to ask Monday, I sure she told me but I forget so much lately. Today I’m calm had a nice visit from a family from my daycare they brought me lunch and a beautiful bracelet saying YOU GOT THIS.....nice to see my babies I miss them so. Never once today did I think two more days, which is good or my accepting. So much support that I know I do have this and will face what comes when it comes because worrying is taking away from my good days!!
You have helped more then you know and I thank you, I will be around for a while asking questions and managing issuses as they arrive. God Bless you!!
Charlene
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I long for that time. GladOKCnative said:It's amazing how fast the
It's amazing how fast the time goes. I can't belive I am almost at the 1yr anniversary of when I noticed my enlarged neck node.
I long for that time. Glad your well and thank you for all the help in this journey for me!!
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Ideas are everywhere in the H&N forum.Charmit said:What a great idea about the
What a great idea about the pictures also I was thinking of starting a journal because writing helps me. The chemo is Cisplatin, 7 four hour treatment every Monday then Wednesday and Friday 2 hour treatments but I’m thinking that’s not chemo maybe hydratio. Have to ask Monday, I sure she told me but I forget so much lately. Today I’m calm had a nice visit from a family from my daycare they brought me lunch and a beautiful bracelet saying YOU GOT THIS.....nice to see my babies I miss them so. Never once today did I think two more days, which is good or my accepting. So much support that I know I do have this and will face what comes when it comes because worrying is taking away from my good days!!
You have helped more then you know and I thank you, I will be around for a while asking questions and managing issuses as they arrive. God Bless you!!
Charlene
Charlene,
To dove-tail with the picture ideas from the fabulous, the one and only Billie67, I asked if my wife could come into the control (observation) room and watch my rad treatment (mask time) from start to finish. The idea was accepted by all and my precious caregiver was able to witness the whole 9 yards, from my prep-time, to music, the dreaded mask bolt-down, the zap and the finish. It is not for everybody, but we ALL liked it!
For your information, I use Xylimelts every night at bedtime, BUT I DID NOT use them during treatments. I don’t think I could have handled them, I really don’t. I was limited to my salt water and soda mixture for gargling and rinsing, the Lidocaine HCL OS 2% (apply to infected areas) and my favorite, magic mouth wash, Oregon’s best. I pounded 6 bottles down and sipped, swished and swallowed every drop. It is definitely NOT for many H&N members and many can’t wait to say it did not work for them. That's -weird and un-american (Matt logic)
Well, I do wish each person going through H&N treatments to have many successes, you have to cure the cancer, reduce pain, eat something, anything, swallow, many times a day, rest, mask time, neck burn, nausea, rude people, life, family, work…..the list goes on and on.
Maybe the water pik will be able to put out the fire in your mouth, throat and tongue.
Matt
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Matt, I love reading yourCivilMatt said:Ideas are everywhere in the H&N forum.
Charlene,
To dove-tail with the picture ideas from the fabulous, the one and only Billie67, I asked if my wife could come into the control (observation) room and watch my rad treatment (mask time) from start to finish. The idea was accepted by all and my precious caregiver was able to witness the whole 9 yards, from my prep-time, to music, the dreaded mask bolt-down, the zap and the finish. It is not for everybody, but we ALL liked it!
For your information, I use Xylimelts every night at bedtime, BUT I DID NOT use them during treatments. I don’t think I could have handled them, I really don’t. I was limited to my salt water and soda mixture for gargling and rinsing, the Lidocaine HCL OS 2% (apply to infected areas) and my favorite, magic mouth wash, Oregon’s best. I pounded 6 bottles down and sipped, swished and swallowed every drop. It is definitely NOT for many H&N members and many can’t wait to say it did not work for them. That's -weird and un-american (Matt logic)
Well, I do wish each person going through H&N treatments to have many successes, you have to cure the cancer, reduce pain, eat something, anything, swallow, many times a day, rest, mask time, neck burn, nausea, rude people, life, family, work…..the list goes on and on.
Maybe the water pik will be able to put out the fire in your mouth, throat and tongue.
Matt
Matt, I love reading your posts and your recovery is SO MUCH like mine!! My brother from another mother!!
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"NEWS FLASH" CANER OVERWHELMED BY CHARMIT.Charmit said:I long for that time. Glad
I long for that time. Glad your well and thank you for all the help in this journey for me!!
Charlene,
How are you doing on this Sunday morning with this great country teaming with prospective cancer treatment patient just chomping at the bit (or not) for their FIRST cancer treatment tomorrow, Monday, May 1st (my Mom’s birthday).
Be ready from here on out, have your meds, take them when needed, don’t try to tough it out and live with pain or discomfort. There may be serious issues ahead and you will want to be prepared to take-it-on and win.
Drink lots of water and swallow often, get plenty of nutrition, eat like a normal person, drink smoothies, drink protein drinks, do whatever it takes. Pay no attention to those H&N members who have no issues and only want to talk about how they live above the rest of us. While we love them and their superior side effects handling ability is what we always strive for (and I want for you). It is not in the cards for many of us and reality for me was a Lorazepam tablet, a shot glass of magic mouth wash and a slathering of Silver Sulfadiazine Cream.
Good luck and ZAP them dead!!
Matt
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Hi Matt I’m terrified todayCivilMatt said:"NEWS FLASH" CANER OVERWHELMED BY CHARMIT.
Charlene,
How are you doing on this Sunday morning with this great country teaming with prospective cancer treatment patient just chomping at the bit (or not) for their FIRST cancer treatment tomorrow, Monday, May 1st (my Mom’s birthday).
Be ready from here on out, have your meds, take them when needed, don’t try to tough it out and live with pain or discomfort. There may be serious issues ahead and you will want to be prepared to take-it-on and win.
Drink lots of water and swallow often, get plenty of nutrition, eat like a normal person, drink smoothies, drink protein drinks, do whatever it takes. Pay no attention to those H&N members who have no issues and only want to talk about how they live above the rest of us. While we love them and their superior side effects handling ability is what we always strive for (and I want for you). It is not in the cards for many of us and reality for me was a Lorazepam tablet, a shot glass of magic mouth wash and a slathering of Silver Sulfadiazine Cream.
Good luck and ZAP them dead!!
Matt
Hi Matt I’m terrified today not going to lie and tomorrow I’m sure I will be crying my eyes out. I’m going to take what they give me and keep ahead of the eating and swallowing. Chemo at 9:15 for 4 hours and then radiation at 4:45 tears will be flowing then hope the 2 Ativan help me!!!
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Smile
I responded to your earlier post. Relax if you can, pray and take someone with you. When I saw the little children laughing and playing before thier treatments I decided that if they could make the best of it I can too. Take a look at my blog www.cancerguy.blog and you will quickly find that although it is hard, it is okay. You have a great change of beating cancer. Most cancer patients would be extactic to get it over as quickly as we do and have our chance of beating it. Believe that you are blessed. I won't lie - it is tough, but so are you. You are in good hands - sending love and peace your way.
Don
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Thanks Don for the words ofdwp155 said:Smile
I responded to your earlier post. Relax if you can, pray and take someone with you. When I saw the little children laughing and playing before thier treatments I decided that if they could make the best of it I can too. Take a look at my blog www.cancerguy.blog and you will quickly find that although it is hard, it is okay. You have a great change of beating cancer. Most cancer patients would be extactic to get it over as quickly as we do and have our chance of beating it. Believe that you are blessed. I won't lie - it is tough, but so are you. You are in good hands - sending love and peace your way.
Don
Thanks Don for the words of wisdom and encouragement!! Fear of the unknown right now but your right about others having it worse. I will most surely check out your blog. Thank you again and God Bless!!
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DonCharmit said:Thanks Don for the words of
Thanks Don for the words of wisdom and encouragement!! Fear of the unknown right now but your right about others having it worse. I will most surely check out your blog. Thank you again and God Bless!!
Don
I read your blog and it helped a great deal what an inspiration you are. Can I ask if you had treatment to one or both sides?? I’m sure you mentioned in your blog....I pray I’m as strong as you were in your journey.
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Both sides! Look, like ICharmit said:Don
Don
I read your blog and it helped a great deal what an inspiration you are. Can I ask if you had treatment to one or both sides?? I’m sure you mentioned in your blog....I pray I’m as strong as you were in your journey.
Both sides! Look, like I said it is tough but if I can do it you can do it. Anything that I can help with please let me know - <Content removed by CSN Support Team>.
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Guess what?
Day one is in the books. The count down to the end can begin. Look you survived it just fine.
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