I'm new here and need Advice - done with treatments - now no Intimacy

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Hi All, 

I'm 42 years old, never had children, married for 4 years and I was diagnosed last October 2016 of Uterine Cancer Stage IIIC1 - Grade 3.

I went through all the treatments just fine. Now it's been 5 months since my last Radiation treatment, still I don't feel any intimacy at all.

My husband and I talked last night and he said he miss our closeness.  We tried few months ago but it was just a burning sensation.  I mentioned this to my doctor and he cannot prescribe any Hormonal Treatment because my cancer was Grade 3. 

I'm back to normal like except for that... no intimacy.

Looking forward for all the inputs and advice.

Cheers,

Comments

  • NoTimeForCancer
    NoTimeForCancer Member Posts: 3,388 Member
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    Anne, I am single so I can't

    Anne, I am single so I can't offer much advice, but some of the lovely ladies have been pretty helpful with their suggestions here.  However, if you do a "keyword" search you will find a few threads previously covering this topic:

    https://csn.cancer.org/node/302122

    https://csn.cancer.org/node/299352

    What an amazing group of women here!

  • ckdgedmom
    ckdgedmom Member Posts: 166 Member
    edited December 2017 #3
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    I too am single so I may not

    I too am single so I may not be of much help...

    did they give you a dialator when you had radiation? That might help in getting things to feel a little better and alieviate the burning...be sure to use plenty of lube...

    and remember that a lot of intimacy is in the head and the heart and not just the genitals so maybe a little romance might help...go for a nice dinner, have a little wine, come home and cuddle...take it slow and easy....rediscover each other...

    hope this helps..I am sure some of the other ladies can shed more light on this...

  • CheeseQueen57
    CheeseQueen57 Member Posts: 933 Member
    edited December 2017 #4
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    Disappointing

    I‘m sorry to say after treatment we never regained that aspect of our relationship. The dilator is very important. Make sure somebody shows you how to use it. You might consider vitamin e vaginal suppositories for dryness. You can order them on Amazon. Not to expensive  and it’s se them every other night. You also might consider pelvic floor physical therapy. Good luck, hon. This was one of the most disappointing aspects of this disease that you’re never told about and not much help is offered from your medical team. I couldn’t overcome it but I hope you can being you’re so young and married so few years.

  • TeddyandBears_Mom
    TeddyandBears_Mom Member Posts: 1,814 Member
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    I'll chime in... I agree with

    I'll chime in... I agree with Cheese. Use the vitamin E suppositories before bed. And, drink a lot of water. I got a prescription level lidocaine that I use before sex. And, I use surgical lubricant. Both the vitamin E and the lube are available on Amazon. I am almost 2 years out from treatment and while I am still sexually active, it isn't the same as before. It is still important to me but it feels more medicinal now. Honestly, I don't ever feel in the mood any longer. However, I do enjoy the closeness that it brings with my husband and I. I'm still working on getting my head in the game!

    Hope this helps.

    Love and Hugs,

    Cindi

  • MAbound
    MAbound Member Posts: 1,168 Member
    edited December 2017 #6
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    Erotic Massage

    Have considered full-body massages? They give you that physical connection that you miss as well as the satisfaction of sexual release without the discomfort penetration brings. As we get older, the physical mechanics of intercourse gets harder because of arthritis and vaginal dryness that often occurs with natural menopause, so this is a good skill to consider. It feels really good for both of you and the pleasure is certainly more varied and can last for as long as you and your partner want it to. I've come to like it a lot better than traditional sex!

  • Anne0803
    Anne0803 Member Posts: 15
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    Thank you all for the inputs <3</b>
    I will certainly try all the options mentioned Kiss
    I forgot to mention that my husband is a prostate cancer survivor, and also dealing with erection etc.
    Though we talk about it, but sometimes it's hard to tell him that it doesn't satisfy me the way he wanted to. He do try to please me and he makes sure he let me know.
    I know it is give and take, and the mind & emotion is to consider too.
    I really appreciate all the advice and really grateful to find this forum.
    Cheers,
  • Soup52
    Soup52 Member Posts: 908 Member
    edited December 2017 #8
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    I’m sorry to say we don’t

    I’m sorry to say we don’t have sex anymore. It was painful before all my treatments and pretty impossible now. My husband has prostatectomy Cancer and will continue hormone treatments for at least another year. But we are 64 and 65 so I’m hoping you can find some help.