Support From Family falters
Comments
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sorry to hear. I DID have
sorry to hear. I DID have suport but one day my husband said YOU MUST BE MORE posititve.
I sais they day i was called back i was potistive i was ok, then day i went for suregery, I said it could be worrse. They day i was called back a few years later I said I am sure i'll be fine..
UGH...
But all in all i did have support.
Denise
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feel terrible for you
Guess i was lucky. All my immediate family supportive, but they can't imagine what it's like and I get that. I, too, feel that all this pink ribbon stuff is ridiculous and I actually said at chemo that I am not the type to dance around with pink ribbons on TV and that I hate to walk for money. We get the same darn drugs they did 40+ yrs ago. So where is all that $ going for research anyway. The treatment is no different. Same poison, different day. All the TV women who have had this make it sound like it's nothing. A lot of women still die from this. I will probably be one of them. Hopefully I will have a few yrs anyway. I will never ever go thru chemo and or radiation again. You couldn't pay me a million dollars to do any of it. I told the Dr I hope I die from the Big One LOL. It would be a lot easier. How I even have a sense of humor left is beyond me, but I'm ok and as soon as all these symptoms go away, I can go back to my life for as long as I have it. My husband remains in denial, but if that makes it easier for him, then I don't have to deal with him right now. Take care. Hope things get better for you. And don't let your family minimize this. If it was me, I would tell them off but good. Make feel guilty. Make you feel good too, to get it all out in open. They have no right to talk to you like that. If I have learned anything from having cancer, it's I will defend myself and no one is going to treat me poorly or they would be out on their ear. I don't care who they are. I am not going to take anyone's guff. They'll get over it.
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JKoehler25
I agree with you about the pink ribbons and bows! I hate them and I do think the pink campaign has done more harm than good. The money raised mostly goes to maintain the nonprofits and very little of it goes to research or to help actual patients! I feel used by the whole thing.
Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to just write people off because they are unsupportive, but I can’t do that. I am really very disappointed by my family in all of this and it is not getting better. Just recently one sibling said these words, “ I don’t understand why you have to do all these treatments, Sue had a double mastecomy and she didn’t have to do any other treatments and SHE Is doing fne now! OMG
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While bald, sick, and an
While bald, sick, and an emotional midget, my three sisters went on the "sisters" annual yard sale hunt weekend. When I was at my lowest, they did not invite me, but took MY best childhood friend. I was devastated, humiliated, you name it! The next time my mother asked me for an update on my condition so she could tell my sisters who supposedly thought so much of me, I went off! She acted like what they did was fine and tried to end the conversation. I have not yet gotten over the betrayal I feel.
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BetrayalAnxious One said:While bald, sick, and an
While bald, sick, and an emotional midget, my three sisters went on the "sisters" annual yard sale hunt weekend. When I was at my lowest, they did not invite me, but took MY best childhood friend. I was devastated, humiliated, you name it! The next time my mother asked me for an update on my condition so she could tell my sisters who supposedly thought so much of me, I went off! She acted like what they did was fine and tried to end the conversation. I have not yet gotten over the betrayal I feel.
Anxious One, I understand your feelings of betrayal. My sisters went on the annual sister’s weekend and posted pictures on FB titled “the_______ sisters! No mention of me! I almost replied on FB that I am not dead yet, but didn’t. People are so insensitive sometimes!
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And that's why we're here
I had similar responses. That's why support groups exist and for me, this group was a Godsend. We're here to support all of your days, good and bad. I had a good friend announce that she was sick of hearing about it - when I was simply responding to someone else's inquiry. We understand this lack of support and downright meanness. And they will never ever "get it". Try and avoid those situations that upset you while you're still reeling with trying to find your new normal and keep us in mind when you need someone. I've hung around this group for 7 years now simply to have some input for women just like you.
Suzanne
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My Family Doesn't Get It
I came out of the cancer/chemo/rad and then I got the chip on my shoulder. My fault because I expected my family to treat me the way I would have treated them. So, I am now living with a scare of recurrence. So, I logged back onto the ACS page because I need to hear from other people who have experieced similar things.
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2 times alone
I went threw it 2 times alone in 2009 and 2010 I never had kids all other family members to self centered with they're life, I had treatments alone surgerys alone everything alone but I didn't know my own strength and I got threw it all ! my feeling is they were not around then they don't need to be around now maybe harsh but I'm good without them !
Teresa
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God Bless us all
Yeah family is hard my sisters dont mention it until i do regarding my appointments etc. but i know they love me we are all close but They are Afraid to say anything we have loss friends this year and they rather Enjoy the Good Times ..Always ask am I ok...
this is all new to Me and to Them!! God Bless All... Im just living my "new normal" and Blessed
BEE
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that is awfultufi000 said:How's this one?
After treatments ended which I kep working through it all, (it wasn't blood family) they said to me " I think you could have handled it better"
done and done
that is awful
sorry you had to hear that
Denise
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I think some family members
I think some family members are scared (not an excuse for them to say dumb things) they do not know how to feel or what to say.
My husband is a great guy-but puts his head in the sand for many things.
HE said one day YOU NEED TO BE MORE positive-i was livid-
during prep for my frist lumpectomy i was so so so scared, they coudn't get an iv etc..i was in panic mode for the wire locator to be put in. MY husband was watching CNN in the room with me-it was making me more tense-my duagher shurt it off and he turned it back on. ( THINK he was trying to ignore all going on including cancer word)
I still am angery about that from 2008-other wise he is an awsome husband but it hurt then and still in my thoughts on occasion.
Denise
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to this day since 2008 my
to this day since 2008 my eldest (NOW 30) has never mentioned cancer-never visisited me after any of my surgeries (mind you she and her kids live with me full time).
I think she may be like her dad-head in sand. (she is not a mushy person, to say the least-but 10 yrs later never a word about it...)
Denise
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popped back in to check how
popped back in to check how things are going for you?
Denise
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Pnk Ribbon Mania and Lack of Support
It occurs to me, at this point in my life, that perhaps many of us come out of our cancer experiences, with a chip on our shoulder for what we had to go through.
It is challenging, at best, to be handed a cancer dx. It can be overwhelming. Still, most of us manage to grab enough pieces of the puzzle, and assemble them, in order to make treatment decisions and get on with what we MUST do. And what we feel is best for us, is the only thing we CAN do and ideally, we don't look back and we don't cry over our decisions. We carry on. It's all there is.
Having said that, I think we all are also aware that a cancer experience changes us in some ways. How much it changes us is really up to us. It's a process and an arduous one.
We have to move quickly at the outset. Not something we have months to relegate to research and decision making. Thats befuddling, all by itself.
Once we get our ducks in a row on how we wish to proceed with treatment, we then learn there can be setbacks, complications with treatment, side effect management, the many doc appoints, the worrying, poor sleep, often initial poor eating habits, annoyance with nursing staff, even with the doctors...or worse yet, realizing we do not have the best doc match for ourselves and need to change docs. It's a lot. It a huge emotional storm we must endure.
Then, we have the still, wee hours of the night, alone with our thoughts and our tears sometimes too. We struggle for balance throughout treatment and beyond. And it's justified too! Don't forget that. People experiencing other life changing events in their lives, often are dx'd with PTSD, depression, anxiety disorders...all manner of issues, but somehow, media and even the very medical community which treats our cancers, have a nonchalant attitude of like: "Well, you're still here. What's the problem"? To that I say BS.
So many of us have cancer nowdays, that perhaps it's just easier for society to falsely believe the ONLY important point about cancer, is that you survived treatment, either long term or short term and get over it all. WRONG. It is not so simple at taking your "new normal" pill and getting over it. It's about working through the trauma (and yes, it IS traumatic)
It's about digesting the lessons learned. About yourself, other people in your life and choosing what you wish to do with that information. Information you probably never would have gleaned, had it not been for your cancer experience. In my experience, some of those lessons were very good and positive ones and actually brought greater peace and perspective to my life, overall. Some decisions were initially difficult, but well worth the pain, in the longrun.
And yes, the ribbon waving, the happy dance because we finish tx and haven't died yet, IS indeed a bit much, but that circus is likely here to stay. We can feel like we're in shreds and tattered, after tx is over, but those not in the know, haven't a clue. It's how our society deals with such nasty things as cancer...stick a ribbon on it, profit from it and pretend we're all these big, bad warriors who showed cancer a thing or two and it was "nothing". Right? Not! Perhaps, instead, we are "wounded warriors", in a sense, because we have endured and prevailed, but we are also changed forever. In some positive and perhaps not so positive ways. It takes time to adjust to the storm we have endured. I say "endured" because it is a storm and it is a FORCED endurance, of hurricane proportions, regardless of which tx method we may choose or not choose. So, no, I am not a pink ribbot or pink anything else waving person. I find that my efforts are best placed one on one, where they can make a difference, comfort someone, help someone, encourage someone and the only profit is the reward of having cared and the sharing that entails. We who have been there, seldom buy into the hype surrounding BC, because we know the real deal of it all.
We often don't have the kind of support we expect or want, because perhaps we are looking for more from people than they have to give. We live in a "me" world and that's another thing that likely isn't going to change. To that ends, I suggest that a good way to manage a lack of "sufficient" support, is to drop the person who can't find a kind word, or be bothered to do a kind deed for a friend or family member experiencing cancer. Maybe everyone doesn't know what to say, but if one cares, they'll think of something. Trust me. It's absurd to make excuses for people and it's the last thing we have the energy or time to do, really. And why should we? There's an old adage: "When people act like they don't care...believe them". Another quote I saw a couple of years ago, made sense also: "If I cut you off, it's extremely likely that you handed me the scissors". Bottom line is that you know what you need and you must also decide what you will and will not tolerate. Family relationships and close friendships, can and do change. and it's ok. Toxic relationships are just not good, whether we have cancer or just had a bad day. Particularly, the former!
Once we realize the world is not going to change for lil' ole us, we can get on with what we need to do and not waste energy on anything that isn't positive for us. It's a dleicate time, contrary to popular belief, so go ahead and focus on yourself for now and make no apologies for it. We have an abundance of emotions to manage already and don't need the extra upsets of how people who supposedly care about us, are behaving toward us. Sadly yes, we CAN have a spouse, brother, sister, parent or dear friend who is a bit of a jerk. Happens, but maybe we just didn't see it before we had cancer? Maybe it's a revelation? We can only deal with it in the most positive way possible for us and carry on. If need be, just cut that person out, until you're feeling better and stronger, if it's causing stress trying to cope with someone not caring/being supportive.
I haven't been to this site in quite a few years now. I am 16 years out from BC, hormone neg, Her2/neu 98% positive, lumpectomy, SLND, chemo and rads, completed late, 2001. Yes, I'm still here! In many ways, better than ever. Have dealt with some late term side effects of tx, but hanging in there. Some days are great. Others, less so. But for me, it's still all about the journey, not the destination. I have always been a proponent of the idea that "thriving" is healthier than "surviving", when we can get to it in our heads, that is. And it's work to get there. We all know this well. It's a process and we CAN do it well if we trust ourselves. We are in control of more than we may believe and we are stronger than we may realize. Whether we're here for a year, 10 years or more, TODAY is our most important day. Tomorrow is super for plans, but today is always now.
We're a brave bunch. No question. We have courage AND we have heart and we care about one another. On this site, we can be heard and we also listen. We share, we laugh, we cry and we get angry, together. And guess what? It's very good for us! Being here allows us to express our weaknesses, our strengths, our up and downs, our concerns, our despair, share tips, our joy and all that our journey brings and that is a changing snapshot of where we are on any given day. And that's perfectly normal. No 2 days are ever the same on this journey. And it's all accepted, because we're all in the same boat, on the same trip and all living in the same world, with all its pitfalls and delightful surprises, day in and day out. Sharing is a good thing. When I saw some of the posts about the pink ribbons and how it's been a negative for how our society treats BC, in general, I wanted to share my thouhts and feelings about that. And also share some thoughts regarding disappointment in the support of family/friends. Being an "old timer" on CSN, who hasn't been here in ages, I felt compelled to share some of what I've learned and offer encouragement. When we're having a particularly down day, dealing with upsets, etc., it can sometimes help to think of it this way: Maybe what's good gets a little bit better, and maybe what's bad, gets gone. I heard quote once, many years ago and when I find myself in the dark, flaling about and feeling alone, I remember that and it inspires me to go ahead and throw a little pity party for one and then get my behind in gear and do my best to make that statement true.
Warm hugs while wishing everyone the best...
Love, light and laughter,
Ink
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Ink
Thank you for your insightful and thought provoking post. I appreciate your sharing. I wonder why breast cancer is handled so very differently than other cancers? This is my third cancer. I can tell you that with the other two cancers, people treated it very, very differently. No ribbons, no hype, no fake smiles, no ringing of bells, no nonsense. It absolutely has to have something to do with us being women. All the hype and false smiles and nonsense have led the public to think that breast cancer is no big deal, some sort of a joke. Really. I find it upsetting. My family and friends think breast cancer is curable and some sort of a cake walk. They did not treat the other cancers the same way. They took the other cancers far more seriously and were very supportive. Not the same with breast cancer! The public has been desensitized to this cancer. To see companies using Bc to increase profits is also upsetting. We are at the point that we do not need to raise awareness anymore; we need to put all that money into finding a cure, not into thousands of non-profits aimed at raising awareness. As breast cancer patients, we need to make our voice heard. The craziness has to stop. This is not a party, people should not be selling things in the name of breast cancer, and women die young of BC every single day. Sadly, this community lost someone yesterday who fought very hard to live. We need to raise our voices and let the public know how horrible this disease and its treatments are!
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tyinkblot said:Pnk Ribbon Mania and Lack of Support
It occurs to me, at this point in my life, that perhaps many of us come out of our cancer experiences, with a chip on our shoulder for what we had to go through.
It is challenging, at best, to be handed a cancer dx. It can be overwhelming. Still, most of us manage to grab enough pieces of the puzzle, and assemble them, in order to make treatment decisions and get on with what we MUST do. And what we feel is best for us, is the only thing we CAN do and ideally, we don't look back and we don't cry over our decisions. We carry on. It's all there is.
Having said that, I think we all are also aware that a cancer experience changes us in some ways. How much it changes us is really up to us. It's a process and an arduous one.
We have to move quickly at the outset. Not something we have months to relegate to research and decision making. Thats befuddling, all by itself.
Once we get our ducks in a row on how we wish to proceed with treatment, we then learn there can be setbacks, complications with treatment, side effect management, the many doc appoints, the worrying, poor sleep, often initial poor eating habits, annoyance with nursing staff, even with the doctors...or worse yet, realizing we do not have the best doc match for ourselves and need to change docs. It's a lot. It a huge emotional storm we must endure.
Then, we have the still, wee hours of the night, alone with our thoughts and our tears sometimes too. We struggle for balance throughout treatment and beyond. And it's justified too! Don't forget that. People experiencing other life changing events in their lives, often are dx'd with PTSD, depression, anxiety disorders...all manner of issues, but somehow, media and even the very medical community which treats our cancers, have a nonchalant attitude of like: "Well, you're still here. What's the problem"? To that I say BS.
So many of us have cancer nowdays, that perhaps it's just easier for society to falsely believe the ONLY important point about cancer, is that you survived treatment, either long term or short term and get over it all. WRONG. It is not so simple at taking your "new normal" pill and getting over it. It's about working through the trauma (and yes, it IS traumatic)
It's about digesting the lessons learned. About yourself, other people in your life and choosing what you wish to do with that information. Information you probably never would have gleaned, had it not been for your cancer experience. In my experience, some of those lessons were very good and positive ones and actually brought greater peace and perspective to my life, overall. Some decisions were initially difficult, but well worth the pain, in the longrun.
And yes, the ribbon waving, the happy dance because we finish tx and haven't died yet, IS indeed a bit much, but that circus is likely here to stay. We can feel like we're in shreds and tattered, after tx is over, but those not in the know, haven't a clue. It's how our society deals with such nasty things as cancer...stick a ribbon on it, profit from it and pretend we're all these big, bad warriors who showed cancer a thing or two and it was "nothing". Right? Not! Perhaps, instead, we are "wounded warriors", in a sense, because we have endured and prevailed, but we are also changed forever. In some positive and perhaps not so positive ways. It takes time to adjust to the storm we have endured. I say "endured" because it is a storm and it is a FORCED endurance, of hurricane proportions, regardless of which tx method we may choose or not choose. So, no, I am not a pink ribbot or pink anything else waving person. I find that my efforts are best placed one on one, where they can make a difference, comfort someone, help someone, encourage someone and the only profit is the reward of having cared and the sharing that entails. We who have been there, seldom buy into the hype surrounding BC, because we know the real deal of it all.
We often don't have the kind of support we expect or want, because perhaps we are looking for more from people than they have to give. We live in a "me" world and that's another thing that likely isn't going to change. To that ends, I suggest that a good way to manage a lack of "sufficient" support, is to drop the person who can't find a kind word, or be bothered to do a kind deed for a friend or family member experiencing cancer. Maybe everyone doesn't know what to say, but if one cares, they'll think of something. Trust me. It's absurd to make excuses for people and it's the last thing we have the energy or time to do, really. And why should we? There's an old adage: "When people act like they don't care...believe them". Another quote I saw a couple of years ago, made sense also: "If I cut you off, it's extremely likely that you handed me the scissors". Bottom line is that you know what you need and you must also decide what you will and will not tolerate. Family relationships and close friendships, can and do change. and it's ok. Toxic relationships are just not good, whether we have cancer or just had a bad day. Particularly, the former!
Once we realize the world is not going to change for lil' ole us, we can get on with what we need to do and not waste energy on anything that isn't positive for us. It's a dleicate time, contrary to popular belief, so go ahead and focus on yourself for now and make no apologies for it. We have an abundance of emotions to manage already and don't need the extra upsets of how people who supposedly care about us, are behaving toward us. Sadly yes, we CAN have a spouse, brother, sister, parent or dear friend who is a bit of a jerk. Happens, but maybe we just didn't see it before we had cancer? Maybe it's a revelation? We can only deal with it in the most positive way possible for us and carry on. If need be, just cut that person out, until you're feeling better and stronger, if it's causing stress trying to cope with someone not caring/being supportive.
I haven't been to this site in quite a few years now. I am 16 years out from BC, hormone neg, Her2/neu 98% positive, lumpectomy, SLND, chemo and rads, completed late, 2001. Yes, I'm still here! In many ways, better than ever. Have dealt with some late term side effects of tx, but hanging in there. Some days are great. Others, less so. But for me, it's still all about the journey, not the destination. I have always been a proponent of the idea that "thriving" is healthier than "surviving", when we can get to it in our heads, that is. And it's work to get there. We all know this well. It's a process and we CAN do it well if we trust ourselves. We are in control of more than we may believe and we are stronger than we may realize. Whether we're here for a year, 10 years or more, TODAY is our most important day. Tomorrow is super for plans, but today is always now.
We're a brave bunch. No question. We have courage AND we have heart and we care about one another. On this site, we can be heard and we also listen. We share, we laugh, we cry and we get angry, together. And guess what? It's very good for us! Being here allows us to express our weaknesses, our strengths, our up and downs, our concerns, our despair, share tips, our joy and all that our journey brings and that is a changing snapshot of where we are on any given day. And that's perfectly normal. No 2 days are ever the same on this journey. And it's all accepted, because we're all in the same boat, on the same trip and all living in the same world, with all its pitfalls and delightful surprises, day in and day out. Sharing is a good thing. When I saw some of the posts about the pink ribbons and how it's been a negative for how our society treats BC, in general, I wanted to share my thouhts and feelings about that. And also share some thoughts regarding disappointment in the support of family/friends. Being an "old timer" on CSN, who hasn't been here in ages, I felt compelled to share some of what I've learned and offer encouragement. When we're having a particularly down day, dealing with upsets, etc., it can sometimes help to think of it this way: Maybe what's good gets a little bit better, and maybe what's bad, gets gone. I heard quote once, many years ago and when I find myself in the dark, flaling about and feeling alone, I remember that and it inspires me to go ahead and throw a little pity party for one and then get my behind in gear and do my best to make that statement true.
Warm hugs while wishing everyone the best...
Love, light and laughter,
Ink
Thank you Ink for that prospective.
Hugs,
Annie
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Thanks for this postinkblot said:Pnk Ribbon Mania and Lack of Support
It occurs to me, at this point in my life, that perhaps many of us come out of our cancer experiences, with a chip on our shoulder for what we had to go through.
It is challenging, at best, to be handed a cancer dx. It can be overwhelming. Still, most of us manage to grab enough pieces of the puzzle, and assemble them, in order to make treatment decisions and get on with what we MUST do. And what we feel is best for us, is the only thing we CAN do and ideally, we don't look back and we don't cry over our decisions. We carry on. It's all there is.
Having said that, I think we all are also aware that a cancer experience changes us in some ways. How much it changes us is really up to us. It's a process and an arduous one.
We have to move quickly at the outset. Not something we have months to relegate to research and decision making. Thats befuddling, all by itself.
Once we get our ducks in a row on how we wish to proceed with treatment, we then learn there can be setbacks, complications with treatment, side effect management, the many doc appoints, the worrying, poor sleep, often initial poor eating habits, annoyance with nursing staff, even with the doctors...or worse yet, realizing we do not have the best doc match for ourselves and need to change docs. It's a lot. It a huge emotional storm we must endure.
Then, we have the still, wee hours of the night, alone with our thoughts and our tears sometimes too. We struggle for balance throughout treatment and beyond. And it's justified too! Don't forget that. People experiencing other life changing events in their lives, often are dx'd with PTSD, depression, anxiety disorders...all manner of issues, but somehow, media and even the very medical community which treats our cancers, have a nonchalant attitude of like: "Well, you're still here. What's the problem"? To that I say BS.
So many of us have cancer nowdays, that perhaps it's just easier for society to falsely believe the ONLY important point about cancer, is that you survived treatment, either long term or short term and get over it all. WRONG. It is not so simple at taking your "new normal" pill and getting over it. It's about working through the trauma (and yes, it IS traumatic)
It's about digesting the lessons learned. About yourself, other people in your life and choosing what you wish to do with that information. Information you probably never would have gleaned, had it not been for your cancer experience. In my experience, some of those lessons were very good and positive ones and actually brought greater peace and perspective to my life, overall. Some decisions were initially difficult, but well worth the pain, in the longrun.
And yes, the ribbon waving, the happy dance because we finish tx and haven't died yet, IS indeed a bit much, but that circus is likely here to stay. We can feel like we're in shreds and tattered, after tx is over, but those not in the know, haven't a clue. It's how our society deals with such nasty things as cancer...stick a ribbon on it, profit from it and pretend we're all these big, bad warriors who showed cancer a thing or two and it was "nothing". Right? Not! Perhaps, instead, we are "wounded warriors", in a sense, because we have endured and prevailed, but we are also changed forever. In some positive and perhaps not so positive ways. It takes time to adjust to the storm we have endured. I say "endured" because it is a storm and it is a FORCED endurance, of hurricane proportions, regardless of which tx method we may choose or not choose. So, no, I am not a pink ribbot or pink anything else waving person. I find that my efforts are best placed one on one, where they can make a difference, comfort someone, help someone, encourage someone and the only profit is the reward of having cared and the sharing that entails. We who have been there, seldom buy into the hype surrounding BC, because we know the real deal of it all.
We often don't have the kind of support we expect or want, because perhaps we are looking for more from people than they have to give. We live in a "me" world and that's another thing that likely isn't going to change. To that ends, I suggest that a good way to manage a lack of "sufficient" support, is to drop the person who can't find a kind word, or be bothered to do a kind deed for a friend or family member experiencing cancer. Maybe everyone doesn't know what to say, but if one cares, they'll think of something. Trust me. It's absurd to make excuses for people and it's the last thing we have the energy or time to do, really. And why should we? There's an old adage: "When people act like they don't care...believe them". Another quote I saw a couple of years ago, made sense also: "If I cut you off, it's extremely likely that you handed me the scissors". Bottom line is that you know what you need and you must also decide what you will and will not tolerate. Family relationships and close friendships, can and do change. and it's ok. Toxic relationships are just not good, whether we have cancer or just had a bad day. Particularly, the former!
Once we realize the world is not going to change for lil' ole us, we can get on with what we need to do and not waste energy on anything that isn't positive for us. It's a dleicate time, contrary to popular belief, so go ahead and focus on yourself for now and make no apologies for it. We have an abundance of emotions to manage already and don't need the extra upsets of how people who supposedly care about us, are behaving toward us. Sadly yes, we CAN have a spouse, brother, sister, parent or dear friend who is a bit of a jerk. Happens, but maybe we just didn't see it before we had cancer? Maybe it's a revelation? We can only deal with it in the most positive way possible for us and carry on. If need be, just cut that person out, until you're feeling better and stronger, if it's causing stress trying to cope with someone not caring/being supportive.
I haven't been to this site in quite a few years now. I am 16 years out from BC, hormone neg, Her2/neu 98% positive, lumpectomy, SLND, chemo and rads, completed late, 2001. Yes, I'm still here! In many ways, better than ever. Have dealt with some late term side effects of tx, but hanging in there. Some days are great. Others, less so. But for me, it's still all about the journey, not the destination. I have always been a proponent of the idea that "thriving" is healthier than "surviving", when we can get to it in our heads, that is. And it's work to get there. We all know this well. It's a process and we CAN do it well if we trust ourselves. We are in control of more than we may believe and we are stronger than we may realize. Whether we're here for a year, 10 years or more, TODAY is our most important day. Tomorrow is super for plans, but today is always now.
We're a brave bunch. No question. We have courage AND we have heart and we care about one another. On this site, we can be heard and we also listen. We share, we laugh, we cry and we get angry, together. And guess what? It's very good for us! Being here allows us to express our weaknesses, our strengths, our up and downs, our concerns, our despair, share tips, our joy and all that our journey brings and that is a changing snapshot of where we are on any given day. And that's perfectly normal. No 2 days are ever the same on this journey. And it's all accepted, because we're all in the same boat, on the same trip and all living in the same world, with all its pitfalls and delightful surprises, day in and day out. Sharing is a good thing. When I saw some of the posts about the pink ribbons and how it's been a negative for how our society treats BC, in general, I wanted to share my thouhts and feelings about that. And also share some thoughts regarding disappointment in the support of family/friends. Being an "old timer" on CSN, who hasn't been here in ages, I felt compelled to share some of what I've learned and offer encouragement. When we're having a particularly down day, dealing with upsets, etc., it can sometimes help to think of it this way: Maybe what's good gets a little bit better, and maybe what's bad, gets gone. I heard quote once, many years ago and when I find myself in the dark, flaling about and feeling alone, I remember that and it inspires me to go ahead and throw a little pity party for one and then get my behind in gear and do my best to make that statement true.
Warm hugs while wishing everyone the best...
Love, light and laughter,
Ink
It is just what I need to read today!
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