Anoscopy tomorrow and I'm terrified

Jane s

And depressed!   It's after 3 in the afternoon and I'm still in bed.   I know Worrying doesn't help and I'd probably feel better if I got up and did something but I just want to lie here and cry. 

It's my second exam post treatment.  I'll be sedated so I have to have someone take me and the person who was supposed to take me now can't do it.   There are only a few people I feel comfortable going with me and they are all busy.   I've got someone from my "B" list,  so at least I don't have to reschedule,  I guess that's something. 

 

 

mp327

Jane s

Please try to remain positive that everything is going to be okay.  I send good wishes and prayers your way.

eihtak

Jane s....

Wouldn't it be great if we could turn worry off as easily as it turns itself on? My grandpa used to say that having a good cry once in a while was a healthy thing and also makes the eyes sparkle...I suppose in some ways he was right and once the swelling and redness goes away it probably is a good way to naturally cleanse the eyes.

When I am in a state of anxiety, it seems every other little thing is so much worse than if I wasn't. I bet the change in driver plans for your appointment didn't help...sorry. Fortunately I have seldom had the need to rely on someone else for such, but when I do, I am always worried about a last minute goof-up so also have a plan B if needed.

My husband is very claustrophobic and needs to be sedated often, even for daily radiation treatments. (He has needed tests, scans, rads, for a blood cancer / tumor on his spine) While I or family usually do the driving he has at times had to set up a ride through various community programs or the ACS and we have dealt with several related needs to re-schedule or "B list" plans...it only makes a bad situation worse, I know!

Theres nothing wrong with a day in bed every so often during this journey, and sometimes the part of having cancer that effects us emotionally (and can't be radiated away) doesn't hit until after treatment is over and we are supposed to be in recovery mode. Hang in there... we're all with you on this.

Sending prayers for a good day tomorrow!

katheryn

Jane s

Thank you

Thanks for responding and your well wishes, it helps so much.  Heading out in 2 hours, I'll let you know how it goes.

Kmessier

Jane

I have days I stay in bed and cry for some reason I've been very emotional last week and this week. I told my friend that if I dropped my my Kleenex I'd cry. My birthday was the 30th and I bawled all day I would just find myself in tears. I finally let myself just have a good cry and that helped. This journey is stressful and add the fact that pert of the exam is a anoscopy really makes it stressful. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I hope to hear what happens. Best wishes

 

~ Kim

Jane s

Exam

Well it's done, I survived.  I took an Ativan before so I was quite cheerful when I got there.  The first thing the doctor did was stick something extremelt sharp and painful in my ****.  I asked if that was a needle, he said no, it was a cotton swab.  They must have turned up the drugs after that because I didn't have any more pain until I got home and started to feel like I had to poop.  Spent the next few hours in excruciating pain, hobbling from the bed to the toilet, and throwing up.  I don't remember this much pain the last time.  I haven't been doing a lot of exercise lately, maybe that would have helped.

Anyway, feeling human again, t hank god for vicodin!  In the note my dr sent home he wrote  "there were a few areas I biopsied because they looked like hpv related changes".  Anybody have any idea what that means?

Thanks,  xo, I kept you guys in mind throughout, really helped!

mp327

Jane s

So glad to hear you made it through the exam and that after a bit of recovery time, you are feeling better.  I hope that the biopsy results will come back showing all is well.  Hopefully, you won't have to wait long to hear the results and everything will be fine.  Please keep us posted.

Wellzen

Boy you had a rough time. I

Boy you had a rough time. I am not looking forward to upcoming test

Wisteria83

Anoscopy

Hi Jane...so you did it!  It sounds like you had a tough time of it though, I'm sorry to hear that.  What's with the vomiting?  A reaction to the sedation, maybe?

It's good that your dr. sent a note home with you explaining why you were having the pain.  Biopsies will do that to you.  I'm sorry I can't help explain what he meant by "HPV Related Changes."  I'm only guessing, but he must have seen lesions or warts? No reason you can't call for a further explanation of what he meant by that.  You don't need to wait for the results of the biopsies to ask him.

 I'll be thinking of you...I still need to call to reschedule mine.  I'm waiting for my doc who did the back surgery to give me the all clear on Friday.  I'm almost hoping he tells me to wait a while, but I don't expect that he will.  That's just me, being chicken and wanting to procrastinate and postpone the inevitable.

Hugs,

Wis

mp327

Jane s

The HPV related changes your doctor mentioned could be anal condylomas (warts), as Wis suggested.  I had 3 of those removed 2 years post-treatment, as they were discovered on my anoscopy exam.  While they were not cancerous, my doctor told me that they could develop into cancer if not removed.  I'm glad your doctor removed whatever he saw on your exam and I hope the path report comes back negative.

Jane s

Feeling better

Well, I got through it.  Had 2 days of pretty intense pain after the exam but then it got better and now, a week later, I feel fine.  Actually better than I was feeling before the exam.  Thank you to all of you for your responses, caring, and understanding, it really did a lot to get me through this.  These HRA's feel like he uses a cheese grater, but I had a large tumor and my anal region is badly damaged, so it makes sense that it would hurt a lot.  Those of you who had smaller tumors will probably have an easier time.  I'm sure it is the sedation that makes me throw up siince I do it after every one but I've always had a weak stomach, I get car sick all the time, so I think that's just something I'll have to deal with.  

Good news, the biopsies showed no signs of cancer, only "AIN 1 - low grade dysplasia, very low risk for progression to cancer".  I'm going to call the doctor to ask what these lesions are.  

Jane s

Wisteria83 said:

Anoscopy

Hi Jane...so you did it!  It sounds like you had a tough time of it though, I'm sorry to hear that.  What's with the vomiting?  A reaction to the sedation, maybe?

It's good that your dr. sent a note home with you explaining why you were having the pain.  Biopsies will do that to you.  I'm sorry I can't help explain what he meant by "HPV Related Changes."  I'm only guessing, but he must have seen lesions or warts? No reason you can't call for a further explanation of what he meant by that.  You don't need to wait for the results of the biopsies to ask him.

 I'll be thinking of you...I still need to call to reschedule mine.  I'm waiting for my doc who did the back surgery to give me the all clear on Friday.  I'm almost hoping he tells me to wait a while, but I don't expect that he will.  That's just me, being chicken and wanting to procrastinate and postpone the inevitable.

Hugs,

Wis

Wisteria

I'm thinking of you, too!  How is your back pain?  

Wisteria83

Jane s said:

Wisteria

I'm thinking of you, too!  How is your back pain?  

Back pain

Hi Jane,

My incision is healing well and the leg pain is nearly gone.  I'm optimistic that it will go completely and the foot tinglies will go too once all the swelling around that sciatic nerve go away.

I started physical therapy last week.  I am SO weak and out of shape.  Malnutrition sure didn't help me.  I'm still trying to gain weight.

My anoscopy is next week on the 21st and I'm dreading it.  I hope it's quick, painless and that she finds nothing!  

Thanks for thinking of me!

~W

Jane s

Wisteria83 said:

Back pain

Hi Jane,

My incision is healing well and the leg pain is nearly gone.  I'm optimistic that it will go completely and the foot tinglies will go too once all the swelling around that sciatic nerve go away.

I started physical therapy last week.  I am SO weak and out of shape.  Malnutrition sure didn't help me.  I'm still trying to gain weight.

My anoscopy is next week on the 21st and I'm dreading it.  I hope it's quick, painless and that she finds nothing!  

Thanks for thinking of me!

~W

Back pain

I'm so glad to hear you are feeling better, hope that continues and your pain goes away!   Keep eating.  I've started lifting weights,  trying to build myself back up.  We'll get there. ..

I'll be thinking of you on the 21st,

Xo Jane 

mp327

Jane s

I'm glad you made it through the exam okay and I hope you are now feeling better about everything.  May the doctor be able to answer your question about the lesions.  As I said above, I went through that and my doctor removed them so that they would not have a chance, no matter how remote, to progress to cancer.  The surgery was not that bad.  Best wishes!

Jane s

Wisteria

Sending good thought and prayers your way today, let us know how it went.

 

xo

Jane