Radical Prostatectomy


Hello All,

My husband has just had a radical Prostectomy. This all came on very suddenly. From the time he started to notice blood in his semen and urine, it was only a week later we were in the hospital. He has been out of the hospital for about 11 days. It was done robotically so his wounds are healing nicely. He has not been able t control his bladder yet. As soon as the catheter was removed it has been like an open faucet. I feel awful for him. He says its not embarrassing but I know it is very hard for him emotionally. He has been extremely fatigued. He can barely stay awake. Is this normal? I'm just trying my best to make life as normal as possible for him. He just seems as if he has aged 10 years over night. I'm worried. Does anyone have any advice as to how to help him through this tough time. He hasnt told anyone that hes going through this as he feels the stigma is too strong. He is a powerful CEO and feels people would take advantage of him. It must be a man thing. We have told everyone he has the flu. I havent been able to vent to anyone or asuage my fears. I guess I just dont know what to expect and how to best be there for him. Im scared he is feeling emascualted. In any case, I thought Id try out this forum to hear about others in the same situation. 

Thanking everyone in advance,



  • hopeful and optimistic
    hopeful and optimistic Member Posts: 2,339 Member
    edited May 2017 #2

    Dear Elizabeth,

    I wonder if your husband if your husband was biopsied, and because of the diagnosis of prostate cancer, had a radical prostectomy. I ask because of the extremely quick speed of the surgery.

    Incontinence occurs frequently after a radial protectomy, and can last. There is physical therapy for this condition which can help...kegels...porbably best to have a physical therapist teach this so the right muscles are used...frequently this is not done correctly.

    Also if Erectile Dysfunction is a consideration in his his case, it is important to speak with your doc about therapy which may include, but not limited to daily cialis, stimulation, pump, etc,etc.

    Approximately one of seven men are diagnosed with prostate cancer...it is vey prevelent, there are many support groups...ustoo is an organization that sponsors local support groups...google them..............both of you, since this is a couples disease will be able to speak with others face to face.......

    At first I only told a couple of close friends, but now, I tell many, and advise men to be tested....it is no big deal to me. By the way, it is important to let family members know about this, since they are more likely to develop prostate cancer...additionally women related to your husband are also more likely to develop breast cancer...so these women need to get those mamograms.

    All in the family need to eat heart healthy, since heart healthy is prostate healthy....dairy and red meats are especially bad for prostate cancer...additionally men who have been diagnosed with prostate cancer are more likely to die of heart disease than of prostate cancer, since heart disease is epidemic world wide.

    Keep on asking quesions here



  • Clevelandguy
    Clevelandguy Member Posts: 1,032 Member
    edited May 2017 #3
    Give it time


    You will have to give it time.  11 days sounds like he just had his Cath removed a few days ago. Everyone heels at a different rate.  I went through the same thing after my robotic removal.  Just hang in there and let the healing begin.  Hopefully week by week you will notice improvement.  I had healing/progress into my second year.  It might take a few months for his bladder control to return. Take a lot of comfort that the cancer is hopefully gone.  Have him stay active and do his kegals.

    Dave 3+4


  • Old Salt
    Old Salt Member Posts: 1,350 Member

    Recovery is to some extent dependent on age and physical status prior to the surgery. If you give us some more info, perhaps we could be more helpful.

    And there is no shame. Andy Grove, the (Intel CEO) wrote an extensive piece about his journey once he was diagnosed with prostate cancer.


  • FinishingGrace
    FinishingGrace Member Posts: 82
    This is a helpful place...

    Hi Elizabeth,

    I am here on behalf of a neighbor who has been diagnosed with prostate cancer and cannot help you with specific information because I have so much to learn myself. However, I have found the guys here to be helpful and supportive and their assistance has meant the world to me and helped me immensely. I believe and hope that it will be a help to you as well.


  • VascodaGama
    VascodaGama Member Posts: 3,664 Member
    Feeling emascualted


    Welcome to the board. I do understand your feelings and worries, and can relate to your husband's feeling in regards to his manhood. It is common among men who has been diagnosed, to connect prostate cancer with the loss of the means to have sex, and that makes many of us (men) to conceal the fact we got it. Surely your man is also concerned with his position in his job as some top companies wouldn't like to have a sick CEO (mine was like that). However, prostate cancer is so common and there are so much talk about it on the media that whatever action your husband does in informing or not on the matter, everybody would understand on his motives.

    I believe he is under an enormous stress and even worried of loosing you. He needs to gain confidence that the present situation will improve. Incontinence and ED are the two major side effects in a PCa surgery. Typically it takes a fewer mouths before one start having some control on the problems. Surely it will never return 100% to the previous status but he will manage to adapt. Your understanding is also crucial. The lovely nights will be there but with different standards.

    The above survivours have provided good advices to solve the problems. I would add recommending him (and you) for being active to avoid atrophy. The cavernous of the penis needs to be oxygenated with blood flowing in for keeping alive the local tissues. Massages and strengthen the penis is also important as this is about one inch shorten (dissected portion of the urethra) and the penis will tend to retreat into the skin (buried penis). The incontinence depends on the extent of the treatment. In worse cases people look for apparatus (such as AMS800, an artificial urinary sphincter) that provide comfort and peace of mind. Here is a link on the matter:

    His bosses/colleagues, friends and family members will surely understand his motive to hide the truth on the causes of his absence or hospital internment. He is dealing with the unknown so everything seem obscure to him. Try getting him into this discussion board where nobody knows nobody but got a common cause; A positive diagnosis of prostate cancer, a treatment and solution on the side effects by experience.

    Best wishes for full recovery.


  • ElizabethSarah
    ElizabethSarah Member Posts: 2
    Thank you!

    Thanks to all of you for both your open and private messages. He is in his late 60s and I am in my 40s. I have it made it clear that I am not going anywhere. I love him so much and our life together. I have made it clear that we will work through this together and we can try all sorts of new ways to be together sexually. We are going to the doctor for his first follow up appointment on Monday. Ill let you all know what happens. Thanks so much for your feedback, it means the world to me.