Living alone

HapB
HapB Member Posts: 527
in Breast Cancer #1

Has anyone here gone through the treatment regimen of lumpectomy, chemo, radiation, while living alone? I do not want to put my extended family through needing to drive me to treatments, etc. Also, will I be able to take care of myself, drive 2 hours each way for treatment? I am semi retired, so I don't need to worry about that. I am trying to make decisons and I know everyone is different, but it would help me to know that this is doable alone. Has anyone handled all this alone? Thanks.

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Comments

  • Christi1129
    Christi1129 Member Posts: 1
    #2
    Flying Solo

    Hi, HapB -- I just joined the network.  Yours is the first post I respond to because I can relate to your situation.  I have been taking myself to most appointments in an effort not to inconvenience others.  I am having a lumpectomy at the end of May, along with a breast reduction and then radiation.  I am 60 and still working but I know the recovery and treatment will sap my energies some days/weeks.  I think it IS doable alone but anticipate times when you will have to enlist the aid of friends and family.  Talk about it with your closest allies and let them know you may need their help.  "Can I count on you?"  I've learned to ask.  If you need to talk, I'm here.  -- Christi

  • peony
    peony Member Posts: 306 Member
    #3
    I live alone, but I'm in a

    I live alone, but I'm in a large city and have family nearby. Christi is right. Don't be a martyr.  Let your friends and neighbors know what's going on and they are going to say, "let me know if there's anything I can do for you".  Then do so. Some of my coworkers were marvelous and very helpful to me. And, of course, you may find out who your real friends are, but I consider that a good thing.  Best wishes.

  • HapB
    HapB Member Posts: 527
    #4
    Christi

    Thanks for responding. It is hard for me to ask people because I needed so much help 6 years ago when I was treated for another cancer. You are right, I did find our who my real friends were back then. Now, people are just incredulous that I am going through another cancer. I know it is probably hard for you to ask too. I have my lumpectomy tomorrow. Trying to stay calm and praying for good results. I am due for some good news. We all are! best wishes to you too!   

  • HapB
    HapB Member Posts: 527
    #5
    Peony

    Thanks for responding! Were you able to get yourself to and from treatments in the city? The hospital is in Boston and I could arrange a 2 month apartment if I thought I could maneuver the city alone. 

  • meschellejensen
    meschellejensen Member Posts: 117
    #6
    Thinking of You Tomorrow

    HapB,

    I just want you to know that I will be thinking of you tomorrow.  I am praying that things go well for you tomorrow!

  • HapB
    HapB Member Posts: 527
    #7
    Meschellejensen

    thank you very much!

  • Kats2
    Kats2 Member Posts: 126
    edited May 2017 #8
    Going it alone

    Hi HapB,

    I live alone and went through a lumpectomy in a hospital about 45 minutes away. I had my radiation treatments in my home town Cancer Center for which I was very grateful! My best friend drove me to the hospital for my surgery and follow- up visits there. I was able to get to my radiation treatments on my own as it was close to my house. I didn't have chemo so don't know how you'll feel dealing with that.

    I suggest that you find at least one person who can drive you to your treatments. You won't feel up to driving 2 hours each way. You may want to call the ACS's Road to Recovery. They could match you up with volunteer drivers who can drive you to your treatments and appointments. That would be a great thing. My uncle had that service and really appreciated it! It's worth looking into. The service is free as far as I know. Give them a call.

    Your family may be able to help you with going to the grocery store or providing some meals for you. That might be more convenient for them instead of the driving back and forth part. And it would really help you out. 

    Good luck with your surgery at the end of May. The lumpectomy for me wasn't difficult. 

    Wishing you much good luck and lots of prayers. You have time to figure out the ride part. That to me is the biggest hurdle.  Bye for now!    Kats2

     

  • Apaugh
    Apaugh Member Posts: 850 Member
    #9
    too long

    Two hours is a long way to get out of chemo and drive.  Please ask for help.  

    Hugs,

    Annie

  • peony
    peony Member Posts: 306 Member
    #10
    HapB said:

    Peony

    Thanks for responding! Were you able to get yourself to and from treatments in the city? The hospital is in Boston and I could arrange a 2 month apartment if I thought I could maneuver the city alone. 

    Ask about social workers in

    Ask about social workers in your cancer clinic.  Mine helped me with any transportation issues and a group called The Red Devils helped me because I was taking AC.  They gave me $300 in gas cards!  I also had access to vanpools and  taxi vouchers. There may be more help out there than you know.  Ask at the hospital.

  • marycurbelo1204
    marycurbelo1204 Member Posts: 73
    edited May 2017 #11
    Living Alone

    Hi HAPB... I believe if your going to have a lumpectomy and ur having general anesthesia or "twilight" anesthesia, you are supposed to bring someone.  They won't perform it unless there's someone with you. I had a mastectory, chemo but no rads.  I couldn't even drive myself to the Cancer center.  Especially if they give you those horrid injections your supposed to have daily. God Bless you and may you have a speedy recovery and some good news..... Mary

  • Teach76
    Teach76 Member Posts: 354 Member
    #12
    Depends on timing

    My chemo treatments were spread out 3 weeks apart (before surgery).  I had a ride and company, but honestly, after the first treatment I felt I could go alone.  Side effects did not kick in until day 4 - extreme fatigue, etc.  Radiation did not begin until 3 months after my surgery - doctors wanted full healing first.  I drove myself each day.  It all depends on how your body reacts.  I would take someone to the first treatment if possible, then see how you are.  The first time we are all a little extra nervous and probably not sleeping well the night before.

    best wishes for smooth transitions between steps of your treatment.  I thought I would be finished 1-2-3; expected  in 4 months I would be finished and back to work.  It took 13 months altogether.  No one told me about the waiting/recovering time between each step.

    Kathy

     

     

  • teresa41
    teresa41 Member Posts: 471
    #13
    Alone

    i went threw it all alone I have no kids I'm  single and no family here !  I went threw it 2 times a year apart I drove myself to chemo , radiation surgerys  2 mastectomys I was dropped off and picked up at the door I had reconstruction was in the hospital 5 days yep alone ! I managed to work and do all on my own ! my chemo was 4 rounds every 3 weeks I had it on Thursday i would start crashing usually on Saturday by the following week like wensday  i felt better ! Radiation was 33 treatments  We are all different in my case I didn't have a lot of options I had to do what had to be done and I still do Alone ! 

    I wish you the best 

    teresa

  • HapB
    HapB Member Posts: 527
    #14
    Kats2 said:

    Going it alone

    Hi HapB,

    I live alone and went through a lumpectomy in a hospital about 45 minutes away. I had my radiation treatments in my home town Cancer Center for which I was very grateful! My best friend drove me to the hospital for my surgery and follow- up visits there. I was able to get to my radiation treatments on my own as it was close to my house. I didn't have chemo so don't know how you'll feel dealing with that.

    I suggest that you find at least one person who can drive you to your treatments. You won't feel up to driving 2 hours each way. You may want to call the ACS's Road to Recovery. They could match you up with volunteer drivers who can drive you to your treatments and appointments. That would be a great thing. My uncle had that service and really appreciated it! It's worth looking into. The service is free as far as I know. Give them a call.

    Your family may be able to help you with going to the grocery store or providing some meals for you. That might be more convenient for them instead of the driving back and forth part. And it would really help you out. 

    Good luck with your surgery at the end of May. The lumpectomy for me wasn't difficult. 

    Wishing you much good luck and lots of prayers. You have time to figure out the ride part. That to me is the biggest hurdle.  Bye for now!    Kats2

     

    Kats2

    Thank you Kats2 for the good advice. I am going to look into rides from a service. I had the lumpectomy and sentinel lymph node excisison today. It is 3 am and I am up icing it. It was a long day, but so far so good!  The Tylenol is covering the pain. I haven't seen what my breast looks like under the bandages yet, but not a big concern at this point. It feels great to have the tumor out!!!!  Thank you for the prayers!!!!!!

  • HapB
    HapB Member Posts: 527
    #15
    Apaugh said:

    too long

    Two hours is a long way to get out of chemo and drive.  Please ask for help.  

    Hugs,

    Annie

    Apaugh

    Thanks.  I am going to try....

  • HapB
    HapB Member Posts: 527
    #16
    marycurbelo1204 said:

    Living Alone

    Hi HAPB... I believe if your going to have a lumpectomy and ur having general anesthesia or "twilight" anesthesia, you are supposed to bring someone.  They won't perform it unless there's someone with you. I had a mastectory, chemo but no rads.  I couldn't even drive myself to the Cancer center.  Especially if they give you those horrid injections your supposed to have daily. God Bless you and may you have a speedy recovery and some good news..... Mary

    Lumpectomy done!

    Thanks, Mary. I had the lumpectomy today and my wonderful sister stayed with me the entiree day. It was a very long day and didn't leave the hospital until 7pm. No way could I have driven myself home from Boston because I was loopy!  Now waiting for the path report! 

  • HapB
    HapB Member Posts: 527
    edited May 2017 #17
    Teach76 said:

    Depends on timing

    My chemo treatments were spread out 3 weeks apart (before surgery).  I had a ride and company, but honestly, after the first treatment I felt I could go alone.  Side effects did not kick in until day 4 - extreme fatigue, etc.  Radiation did not begin until 3 months after my surgery - doctors wanted full healing first.  I drove myself each day.  It all depends on how your body reacts.  I would take someone to the first treatment if possible, then see how you are.  The first time we are all a little extra nervous and probably not sleeping well the night before.

    best wishes for smooth transitions between steps of your treatment.  I thought I would be finished 1-2-3; expected  in 4 months I would be finished and back to work.  It took 13 months altogether.  No one told me about the waiting/recovering time between each step.

    Kathy

     

     

    T

    i will have chemo once a week for 12 weeks then every other for the rest of the year(I think).  I hope that you are doing well now! I know what you mean about the time in between. Sounds like this will take a solid year at least.... 

  • HapB
    HapB Member Posts: 527
    #18
    Teresa

    Hi Teresa, thank you for responding. I am sorry that you had to go through this alone. I am sure that you are a wonderfully strong woman, and you are right, we do what we have to.  I hope that you are well now.  I am a tad nervous driving through city trafiic even on my good days now, must be my old age kicking in. I used to whizz around Boston like Mario Andretti. Now, I am more like a little old lady gripping the wheel for dear life! I am going to figure it out and do what I have to do. You are proof that it can be done!!!!!  

  • Maggie359
    Maggie359 Member Posts: 5
    edited May 2017 #19
    Hi HapB....my sister lives

    Hi HapB....my sister lives with me and does all the driving because some days I'm not fit to drive.  I'm only 15 mins from my hospital and can't imagine 2 hours driving alone.  Then after my chemo appointment....there are the Granix injections for the bone marrow every day for 11 days following...that would be impossible for me to do.  Please ask family and friends for help.  Some cancer support groups offer volunteer rides.  

  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    #20
    2 hours each way? wow...sorry

    2 hours each way? wow...sorry to hear such a long journey. (thankfully my treatments were 8 mins from my job and I was able to go on my lunch hour)

     

    I am sure others will ahve advice-But ask for help-ask for a ride...ti's hard, but I TOLD  people do NOT offer me anything, because I WILL take you up on it. AND I DID take help from others-

     

    Denise

  • HapB
    HapB Member Posts: 527
    edited May 2017 #21
    Disneyfan

    i know 2 hrs is far, but it is the closest to a good hospital. I would not go to hospitals in my state for even a hang nail!  I am feeling overwhelmed in every way. When you are single, you take care of yourself and I jusr don't have anyone who can drive me for a year! I am thinking now of not having treatment and just live out whatever life I have left. It is what it is. There are all these studies about how married people live longer, and they attribute it to love. That is wrong. Not having people to help you when you are sick is why divorced die younger!

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