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Meezermom

Hello everyone! I am feeling rather lost and overwhelmed with all the "cancer" stuff from my doctor. My first breast cancer was 5 years ago in the left breast and the dr said it was stage 0 DCIS and I had the SAVI treatment. Last year stage 0 DCIS in right breast and before I could start radiation, I got the flu and by the time I was well, the oncologist said it was too late to start. End of Dec. saw my breast dr for annual and there was a very small spot on left breast that needed to be biopsied and he would take care of it early January-by removal. Had surgery two weeks ago and came back as stage 2 invasive DCIS. Now I am scheduled for March 7th for a bilateral mastectomy and feeling the desire to jump off the bridge!! My dr is one of the top men in this field and I like and trust him but really feeling down now. He said reconstruction is not possible but no reason as to why. Not sure if it is because of chest pain or what. I also have lung cancer and do have a lot of chest pain in the muscles because of that. He seems to feel that I can choose breast forms or going flat. I am pretty much okay with going flat but I am heavy and when I brought up dog ears and fat pads under the arms, he said "that is just me" and there isn't anything he can do about it. Is that true or can I get PS later on if needed and does the insurance cover it? We are on BCBSFed and due to my medical issues, there is not a lot of $$ to spend. This surgery will be my 34 in the last 13 years and I need to get a new hobby fast! 

Also, how do I deal with the depression? I still feel I am being pulled so many different ways. I have two married sons and one single son. The single son has put his career on hold to be a care giver for him but no matter what, he is my child and there are things I simply can't say to him. I have wonderful daughters in law but one is bi polar and very self centered and the other is mother to my two grandsons and is overwhelmed and usually wanting to know if I can watch the boys. Husband is just not in touch at all with reality and is jealous that "I get all this attention for being sick and no one is giving him extra attention"! 

peony

Hi Meezermom and welcome.  I

Hi Meezermom and welcome.  I'm sorry to hear about your diagnosis, especially if you already have lung cancer. I did not have a mastectomy and so can't offer a lot of advice, but hopefully, by responding, your thread will be at the top of the board and more readily seen by the ladies here who can offer some constructive help. Best wishes for a good outcome.

disneyfan2008

Welcome
 
Denise

Welcome

 

Denise

M12Lewis

Meezermom...hang in there

Hi!  Sounds like you kinda sorta have support but not really.  I have had a mastectomy a few months ago and will soon begin chemo.  Please check out and read my blog about positive thinking.  I'm telling my story.  It is a form of release for me but I hope it is helpful to anyone sharing the experience.  Most of this experience is dealt with in your head.  You MUST know that you will make it and can handle it.  This is only a stepping stone.  Your strength and faith will be tested.  Beat it!  Be a winner.  We do what we have to do to overcome this mess and be a better person.  Positive thinking, meditation, prayer, .....tai chi....whatever gets you through it.....use it.  This is about you!

button2

Take it slowly

I know exactly how you feel about all this. I remember thinking about if slipping off my son's balcony might be the best solution for everyone. I'm so glad I chose to fight. If I were you, I would just concentrate on saving your life right now and not worrying about new breasts and underarm fat. Your son sounds wonderful and he is the one who should accompany you to the doctor since your husband isn't stepping up to the plate. You sound a bit disatisfied with answers from your doctors, so do ask for second opinions if neccessary. I can tell you that I am VERY happy without reconstruction. I don't want foreign objects in my chest, but of course most women don't agree with me on that and that's fine. Depression is really to be expected I think. You've already been thru SO much. Be easy on yourself. I don't have much money either, but it doesn't cost much to sit in the sunshine, read a book, call a good friend, listen to your favorite music, take a nap etc. If you keep feeling horrible, there is medication that can help and you mustn't hesitate to call the doctor. Feel free to send me a PM and there are always people on this site to help you pull through! Hugs, Anna

disneyfan2008

hugs and pixie dust heading

hugs and pixie dust heading your way

 

Denise aka disneyfan2008