When some stop posting!!

EZLiving66
EZLiving66 Member Posts: 1,483 Member
edited March 2016 in Uterine/Endometrial Cancer #1

I love you ladies (you too Red Corvette) and don't know how I would have gotten through all this without you, BUT, it just worries me so much when somebody stops posting.  I start wondering if they're ok, or they're so sick they can't post or so down-in-the-dumps (I'll try to cheer you up!) or maybe they're feeling SO good, they don't want to remember when they didn't.  They're probably just busy or maybe on vacation but still, I worry!!!

When our son went to college he had to text us by 9:00 every morning just to say he was alive.  He has T1 diabetes and when he was in high school, sometimes during the night, his blood sugar would drop too low.  For awhile we had to wake him up at 2:30 a.m. and test and then treat if necessary.  His leaving for college was really tough on us but that little text helped ease our anxiety. 

So.....maybe if any of you who are reading this and haven't checked in for awhile, could just say "hi."  Then I'd know you made it through another night?  Please.

Love,

Eldri

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Comments

  • Editgrl
    Editgrl Member Posts: 903 Member
    #2
    I sometimes search

    I sometimes search for a member's name which takes me to their page which shows the last time they were online.  That at least lets me know they were well enough to get on the computer even if they aren't posting.  Sounds a little stalker-ish, but it's a relief to know they are still clicking!

  • EZLiving66
    EZLiving66 Member Posts: 1,483 Member
    #3
    Editgrl said:

    I sometimes search

    I sometimes search for a member's name which takes me to their page which shows the last time they were online.  That at least lets me know they were well enough to get on the computer even if they aren't posting.  Sounds a little stalker-ish, but it's a relief to know they are still clicking!

    That's a good idea!!  Then I

    That's a good idea!!  Then I would at least know they're still alive n' kickin' - LOL!  We're not stalkers; we're worriers.

    Love,

    Eldri

  • molimoli
    molimoli Member Posts: 514
    #4
    To all the worry-warts and stalkers out there

    I am fine ,no pain ,no discomfort(not even the full pelvis sensation that I felt a while back) I feel normal as  before Cancer,I hope it is because cancer has up and left me (yea right! me dreaming) since it finds that it won't be allowed to control my thoughts and movements.

    I am waiting on my new date for surgery, I have been keeping busy by unpacking.Nothing new on my cancer front ( no pun intended) I will update when I get new news.

    I do check in often,late night- early morning ,it helps me to unwind before going to sleep. I am a hopeless night owl.

    As I checked in I noticed that we have many new sisters who are reaching out ,desperate to get opinions, and navigational tools  on their treatment,re:Chemo.  My not posting is because I have made a decision to not cause my sisters additional stress and have them second guess their decisions. Having opted out of Chemo's way 2 years ago , I am simply not qualified to offer any helpful or unbiased statement that will be beneficial to their decision making process, so I have adopted "mum" as the word. Nuff said.

    To every one of you my new sisters ,a warm welcome to you , you are at the best place for info,warm understanding, courage and mental strength building. You will find that in no time you will turn into a comforter for the newbies coming behind you. In the last little while I have cried and laughed with you all but only on my own,all the time wishing and hoping that you can feel my hugs and hear me whispering hope.

    I continue to pray,hope and wish that the creator will in time bestow upon you all showers of NED blessings.

    Moli--Asking you to keep chins up and don't forget to remember to ' live ' in spite of Cancer.There is plenty time to make wonderful memories .

     

      

  • EZLiving66
    EZLiving66 Member Posts: 1,483 Member
    #5
    molimoli said:

    To all the worry-warts and stalkers out there

    I am fine ,no pain ,no discomfort(not even the full pelvis sensation that I felt a while back) I feel normal as  before Cancer,I hope it is because cancer has up and left me (yea right! me dreaming) since it finds that it won't be allowed to control my thoughts and movements.

    I am waiting on my new date for surgery, I have been keeping busy by unpacking.Nothing new on my cancer front ( no pun intended) I will update when I get new news.

    I do check in often,late night- early morning ,it helps me to unwind before going to sleep. I am a hopeless night owl.

    As I checked in I noticed that we have many new sisters who are reaching out ,desperate to get opinions, and navigational tools  on their treatment,re:Chemo.  My not posting is because I have made a decision to not cause my sisters additional stress and have them second guess their decisions. Having opted out of Chemo's way 2 years ago , I am simply not qualified to offer any helpful or unbiased statement that will be beneficial to their decision making process, so I have adopted "mum" as the word. Nuff said.

    To every one of you my new sisters ,a warm welcome to you , you are at the best place for info,warm understanding, courage and mental strength building. You will find that in no time you will turn into a comforter for the newbies coming behind you. In the last little while I have cried and laughed with you all but only on my own,all the time wishing and hoping that you can feel my hugs and hear me whispering hope.

    I continue to pray,hope and wish that the creator will in time bestow upon you all showers of NED blessings.

    Moli--Asking you to keep chins up and don't forget to remember to ' live ' in spite of Cancer.There is plenty time to make wonderful memories .

     

      

    Moli, I believe your

    Moli, I believe your viewpoint is VERY helpful!!  Your decision not to go the chemo route but using surgery instead is certainly a legitimate decision.  I just read an article that oncologists when asked if they would recommend chemo for a beloved family member OR themselves, only 19% said they would.  I for one, am extremely interested in how you're doing since I was only able to do three of the recommended six chemos.

    Please keep posting!!!  I think newly diagnosed women need to hear about your decision.  When I asked my doctor about not going the chemo route, he looked at me like I had two heads as if NOBODY ever does that.

    Love,

    Eldri

  • Red Corvette
    Red Corvette Member Posts: 114 Member
    #6
    EZLiving66 said:

    Moli, I believe your

    Moli, I believe your viewpoint is VERY helpful!!  Your decision not to go the chemo route but using surgery instead is certainly a legitimate decision.  I just read an article that oncologists when asked if they would recommend chemo for a beloved family member OR themselves, only 19% said they would.  I for one, am extremely interested in how you're doing since I was only able to do three of the recommended six chemos.

    Please keep posting!!!  I think newly diagnosed women need to hear about your decision.  When I asked my doctor about not going the chemo route, he looked at me like I had two heads as if NOBODY ever does that.

    Love,

    Eldri

    Good Topic Eldri

    Good to hear from you Moli. We're all so emotionally tied with each other and this disease we get nervous when we don't hear from someone in a while. Thanks for the topic post Eldri! Since my wife's chemo for today was scrubbed due to low platelet count, we now have the weekend open! 

    Take care everyone.

    Red Corvette

     

  • molimoli
    molimoli Member Posts: 514
    #7
    EZLiving66 said:

    Moli, I believe your

    Moli, I believe your viewpoint is VERY helpful!!  Your decision not to go the chemo route but using surgery instead is certainly a legitimate decision.  I just read an article that oncologists when asked if they would recommend chemo for a beloved family member OR themselves, only 19% said they would.  I for one, am extremely interested in how you're doing since I was only able to do three of the recommended six chemos.

    Please keep posting!!!  I think newly diagnosed women need to hear about your decision.  When I asked my doctor about not going the chemo route, he looked at me like I had two heads as if NOBODY ever does that.

    Love,

    Eldri

    Thanks Eldri, it's great to see you actively on,holding the fort

    My sister at the rate that Chemo was driving through your system,I shudder to think of the state you would be in by now if  you had foolishly continued with it ,you were wise to say 'no' very wise indeed. Chemo is not a one size fits all jersey, It appears that it can be a pretty jersey ( according to some 'praising' sisters here) but when it's ugly it takes ugly to another level.I have had all the ugly that I can handle in this life,I really don't have time or the desire for chemo's ugly. The rest of my life will remain pretty,pretty in spite of cancer, of course with the help of the occasional  bout of denial , (which is fleeting) I am able to see just the pretty in people ,in things and my situation.

    I have this amazing ability to forget to remember that I have Cancer, selective memory at it's finest, yet able to snap into a  cancer Diva mode when it comes time to protect myself from health carers who wants to convince me they know best or the ones with the  'you got two heads ' look . I just stared at those with the 2 + 2 eyes they just gave me , and they get it whose body it is. Some patients do get 'em' my sister, I dismissed those swiftly. I am now with a perfect group of brilliant and caring doctors so I am now in a win, win position.I may not win my cancer battle but I won't  lose my life to it.

    Yes Eldri, in a little while I will post my Cancer journey ,giving the newbies an insight into how we all handle this crud in different ways. 

    For all of you nosey parker sisters ,wondering but not asking ,I am hereby telling on myself : I still have not told anyone about my cancer, except for my one girlfriend and my doctors. Wow! I am the best secret keeper I know,It's been 2 years and 2 months since diagnosis, I should be every one's best friend, everyone deserves a friend who knows when to zip-lock a mouth. LOL.

    Nuff Love , Moli

  • molimoli
    molimoli Member Posts: 514
    #8
    Red Corvette said:

    Good Topic Eldri

    Good to hear from you Moli. We're all so emotionally tied with each other and this disease we get nervous when we don't hear from someone in a while. Thanks for the topic post Eldri! Since my wife's chemo for today was scrubbed due to low platelet count, we now have the weekend open! 

    Take care everyone.

    Red Corvette

     

    Thanks Red corvette

    I hope those platelet count  goes up soon so she can get this behind her quickly.

    Stay strong you both.and you continue to take care as you have been doing. Nuff Love

    Moli,

     

  • EZLiving66
    EZLiving66 Member Posts: 1,483 Member
    #9
    molimoli said:

    Thanks Eldri, it's great to see you actively on,holding the fort

    My sister at the rate that Chemo was driving through your system,I shudder to think of the state you would be in by now if  you had foolishly continued with it ,you were wise to say 'no' very wise indeed. Chemo is not a one size fits all jersey, It appears that it can be a pretty jersey ( according to some 'praising' sisters here) but when it's ugly it takes ugly to another level.I have had all the ugly that I can handle in this life,I really don't have time or the desire for chemo's ugly. The rest of my life will remain pretty,pretty in spite of cancer, of course with the help of the occasional  bout of denial , (which is fleeting) I am able to see just the pretty in people ,in things and my situation.

    I have this amazing ability to forget to remember that I have Cancer, selective memory at it's finest, yet able to snap into a  cancer Diva mode when it comes time to protect myself from health carers who wants to convince me they know best or the ones with the  'you got two heads ' look . I just stared at those with the 2 + 2 eyes they just gave me , and they get it whose body it is. Some patients do get 'em' my sister, I dismissed those swiftly. I am now with a perfect group of brilliant and caring doctors so I am now in a win, win position.I may not win my cancer battle but I won't  lose my life to it.

    Yes Eldri, in a little while I will post my Cancer journey ,giving the newbies an insight into how we all handle this crud in different ways. 

    For all of you nosey parker sisters ,wondering but not asking ,I am hereby telling on myself : I still have not told anyone about my cancer, except for my one girlfriend and my doctors. Wow! I am the best secret keeper I know,It's been 2 years and 2 months since diagnosis, I should be every one's best friend, everyone deserves a friend who knows when to zip-lock a mouth. LOL.

    Nuff Love , Moli

    (((Moli)))  I understand

    (((Moli)))  I understand completely.

    Love,

    Eldri

  • TeddyandBears_Mom
    TeddyandBears_Mom Member Posts: 1,814 Member
    #10
    EZLiving66 said:

    (((Moli)))  I understand

    (((Moli)))  I understand completely.

    Love,

    Eldri

    Moli

    Any idea on a surgery date yet? I sure hope it is soon.

    Love and Hugs,

    Cindi

  • Lou Ann M
    Lou Ann M Member Posts: 996 Member
    #11
    molimoli said:

    To all the worry-warts and stalkers out there

    I am fine ,no pain ,no discomfort(not even the full pelvis sensation that I felt a while back) I feel normal as  before Cancer,I hope it is because cancer has up and left me (yea right! me dreaming) since it finds that it won't be allowed to control my thoughts and movements.

    I am waiting on my new date for surgery, I have been keeping busy by unpacking.Nothing new on my cancer front ( no pun intended) I will update when I get new news.

    I do check in often,late night- early morning ,it helps me to unwind before going to sleep. I am a hopeless night owl.

    As I checked in I noticed that we have many new sisters who are reaching out ,desperate to get opinions, and navigational tools  on their treatment,re:Chemo.  My not posting is because I have made a decision to not cause my sisters additional stress and have them second guess their decisions. Having opted out of Chemo's way 2 years ago , I am simply not qualified to offer any helpful or unbiased statement that will be beneficial to their decision making process, so I have adopted "mum" as the word. Nuff said.

    To every one of you my new sisters ,a warm welcome to you , you are at the best place for info,warm understanding, courage and mental strength building. You will find that in no time you will turn into a comforter for the newbies coming behind you. In the last little while I have cried and laughed with you all but only on my own,all the time wishing and hoping that you can feel my hugs and hear me whispering hope.

    I continue to pray,hope and wish that the creator will in time bestow upon you all showers of NED blessings.

    Moli--Asking you to keep chins up and don't forget to remember to ' live ' in spite of Cancer.There is plenty time to make wonderful memories .

     

      

    Missing you

    missing you but not really worried, just figured you were getting ready for surgery and all the stuff that goes with moving.  We all need to hear different veiws.  I love the way you write. You have a way of saying things that I wish I could manage.  Your words of encouragement truely do just that.  Keep writing sometimes my mind is tired and really needs your words.  Hugs and prayers, Lou Ann

    i found a new way to keep my mind of the "C" word.  My husband got me a new puppy last weekend and I have not had time to think of any thing except "where is Lilly now". She is a nine week old Morkie _about 2 lb and can get into almost every thin.  Now my husband is not a dog lover but last night he told me that she was to precious to leave at a dog sitter while we try to get away in July.  LOL

  • EZLiving66
    EZLiving66 Member Posts: 1,483 Member
    #12
    Lou Ann M said:

    Missing you

    missing you but not really worried, just figured you were getting ready for surgery and all the stuff that goes with moving.  We all need to hear different veiws.  I love the way you write. You have a way of saying things that I wish I could manage.  Your words of encouragement truely do just that.  Keep writing sometimes my mind is tired and really needs your words.  Hugs and prayers, Lou Ann

    i found a new way to keep my mind of the "C" word.  My husband got me a new puppy last weekend and I have not had time to think of any thing except "where is Lilly now". She is a nine week old Morkie _about 2 lb and can get into almost every thin.  Now my husband is not a dog lover but last night he told me that she was to precious to leave at a dog sitter while we try to get away in July.  LOL

    I have my little Spunky dog -

    I have my little Spunky dog - he's a Maltese and at two years old is six pounds.  Even on my worst days, that little dog snuggled next to me.  I was just thinking this morning I don't know how I would have gotten through all this without that little dog.  I know it sounds crazy since he's so little but he keeps me warm when I get so cold.  I hope you and your little Lilly have a great spring!

    Love,

    Eldri

  • CheeseQueen57
    CheeseQueen57 Member Posts: 933 Member
    #13
    Lou Ann M said:

    Missing you

    missing you but not really worried, just figured you were getting ready for surgery and all the stuff that goes with moving.  We all need to hear different veiws.  I love the way you write. You have a way of saying things that I wish I could manage.  Your words of encouragement truely do just that.  Keep writing sometimes my mind is tired and really needs your words.  Hugs and prayers, Lou Ann

    i found a new way to keep my mind of the "C" word.  My husband got me a new puppy last weekend and I have not had time to think of any thing except "where is Lilly now". She is a nine week old Morkie _about 2 lb and can get into almost every thin.  Now my husband is not a dog lover but last night he told me that she was to precious to leave at a dog sitter while we try to get away in July.  LOL

    I have declared Sunday CXXXXX free Day at my house

    From this Sunday forward, I have declared Sunday CXXXXX free day.  There will be no mention of the "C" word in my house on Sundays!

  • TeddyandBears_Mom
    TeddyandBears_Mom Member Posts: 1,814 Member
    #14
    Lou Ann M said:

    Missing you

    missing you but not really worried, just figured you were getting ready for surgery and all the stuff that goes with moving.  We all need to hear different veiws.  I love the way you write. You have a way of saying things that I wish I could manage.  Your words of encouragement truely do just that.  Keep writing sometimes my mind is tired and really needs your words.  Hugs and prayers, Lou Ann

    i found a new way to keep my mind of the "C" word.  My husband got me a new puppy last weekend and I have not had time to think of any thing except "where is Lilly now". She is a nine week old Morkie _about 2 lb and can get into almost every thin.  Now my husband is not a dog lover but last night he told me that she was to precious to leave at a dog sitter while we try to get away in July.  LOL

    congrats LouAnn!

    Lilly is officially a member of your family! She will give you so much love and comfort in a way that none of our human family members can do.

    I'm glad she is in your life. And, I hope you are managing your new chemo with less side effects. I think about you all the time.

    Love and Hugs,

    Cindi

     

  • Annabella Rose
    Annabella Rose Member Posts: 59
    #15
    EZLiving66 said:

    That's a good idea!!  Then I

    That's a good idea!!  Then I would at least know they're still alive n' kickin' - LOL!  We're not stalkers; we're worriers.

    Love,

    Eldri

    I'm still kicking!

    it will be a year since I've finished my third and final chemo treatments this month. Then I completed five rounds of internal radiation treatments.

    I have been busy and concerned with my husbands health. I noticed he was detaching from me and what I was going through when I was still going through my treatments. He was all into himself and how sick he felt. The doctors and I thought he had a nervous breakdown.

    I was building up a lot of resentmen toward him. I wanted him to celebrate my serviving the cancer, surgeries and treatments, but instead he was in a deep depression. All he kept talking about is his aches and pains and panic attacks. The money issues concerning how much our medical bills were adding up was eating him up.

    After almost a full year of him being tested the thing they found on his MRI was that he had a few silent strokes.

    He has now showing signs of dementia. I have to take over everything in running our household. I am totally exhausted. Instead of having this time of living my life fully and finding some kind of peace , I am depressed, exshusred and angry at him. And yes, I know how evil that sounds, I don't even like the sound of my own voice when I'm talking too him. He doesn't like to be left alone yet he doesn't want to go out. He gets upset with me if I sleep in longer then him. And he wakes me if I fall asleep watching tv in the afternoon. He is a completely changed man who can't take care of himself because of the dementia.

    I made an appointment with my primary to ask for some help with me mentally. He prescribed Paxil. I may start taking it tomorrow.

    My husband is so sick. And my reacting to him is so bad and I don't know how to stop. His doctor said for me to try to find help with our insurance company because he is going to get worse and two drowning people can't save each other. I don't have time to even deal with the thought of the cancer coming back. I think that's why I haven't been coming onto this support group. I'm sorry I hadn't let you all know what's been going on in my life.

    the last three Pap smears have come back abnormal so they sent me for a pet scan which didn't show any cancer. The doctor said it's probably from the internal radaton treatments, which I'm still hurting from! Yuk!

     

    Has anyone here been on Paxil for  antidepressant?

  • TeddyandBears_Mom
    TeddyandBears_Mom Member Posts: 1,814 Member
    #16
    Annabella Rose said:

    I'm still kicking!

    it will be a year since I've finished my third and final chemo treatments this month. Then I completed five rounds of internal radiation treatments.

    I have been busy and concerned with my husbands health. I noticed he was detaching from me and what I was going through when I was still going through my treatments. He was all into himself and how sick he felt. The doctors and I thought he had a nervous breakdown.

    I was building up a lot of resentmen toward him. I wanted him to celebrate my serviving the cancer, surgeries and treatments, but instead he was in a deep depression. All he kept talking about is his aches and pains and panic attacks. The money issues concerning how much our medical bills were adding up was eating him up.

    After almost a full year of him being tested the thing they found on his MRI was that he had a few silent strokes.

    He has now showing signs of dementia. I have to take over everything in running our household. I am totally exhausted. Instead of having this time of living my life fully and finding some kind of peace , I am depressed, exshusred and angry at him. And yes, I know how evil that sounds, I don't even like the sound of my own voice when I'm talking too him. He doesn't like to be left alone yet he doesn't want to go out. He gets upset with me if I sleep in longer then him. And he wakes me if I fall asleep watching tv in the afternoon. He is a completely changed man who can't take care of himself because of the dementia.

    I made an appointment with my primary to ask for some help with me mentally. He prescribed Paxil. I may start taking it tomorrow.

    My husband is so sick. And my reacting to him is so bad and I don't know how to stop. His doctor said for me to try to find help with our insurance company because he is going to get worse and two drowning people can't save each other. I don't have time to even deal with the thought of the cancer coming back. I think that's why I haven't been coming onto this support group. I'm sorry I hadn't let you all know what's been going on in my life.

    the last three Pap smears have come back abnormal so they sent me for a pet scan which didn't show any cancer. The doctor said it's probably from the internal radaton treatments, which I'm still hurting from! Yuk!

     

    Has anyone here been on Paxil for  antidepressant?

    Annabella

    So glad to hear from you and so sorry for all of the mountains you are having to climb. Frown

    My sister and I took care of my Mom, who had Alzhiemer's. We rotated 2 days/nights on and off so that we could get a break from the demands. My Mom would not sleep. It was amazing how long a person can go without it. Just about killed both of us. Please do not try to care for your husband by yourself. Even a healthy person would have a hard time. You need to get some relief. We eventually had to put my Mom in an Alzhiemer's care center. But, it was very expensive. You may have to face doing something like that down the road. I'm not trying to scare you, but just giving you some insight that you can't do this alone and it is normal to feel resentment. Their needs will suck the life out of you. I am so sorry you are having to go through all of this.  And, I hope you can find some help.

    Love and Hugs,

    Cindi

    ps - congrats on being NED! That is a great update.

  • EZLiving66
    EZLiving66 Member Posts: 1,483 Member
    #17
    Annabella Rose said:

    I'm still kicking!

    it will be a year since I've finished my third and final chemo treatments this month. Then I completed five rounds of internal radiation treatments.

    I have been busy and concerned with my husbands health. I noticed he was detaching from me and what I was going through when I was still going through my treatments. He was all into himself and how sick he felt. The doctors and I thought he had a nervous breakdown.

    I was building up a lot of resentmen toward him. I wanted him to celebrate my serviving the cancer, surgeries and treatments, but instead he was in a deep depression. All he kept talking about is his aches and pains and panic attacks. The money issues concerning how much our medical bills were adding up was eating him up.

    After almost a full year of him being tested the thing they found on his MRI was that he had a few silent strokes.

    He has now showing signs of dementia. I have to take over everything in running our household. I am totally exhausted. Instead of having this time of living my life fully and finding some kind of peace , I am depressed, exshusred and angry at him. And yes, I know how evil that sounds, I don't even like the sound of my own voice when I'm talking too him. He doesn't like to be left alone yet he doesn't want to go out. He gets upset with me if I sleep in longer then him. And he wakes me if I fall asleep watching tv in the afternoon. He is a completely changed man who can't take care of himself because of the dementia.

    I made an appointment with my primary to ask for some help with me mentally. He prescribed Paxil. I may start taking it tomorrow.

    My husband is so sick. And my reacting to him is so bad and I don't know how to stop. His doctor said for me to try to find help with our insurance company because he is going to get worse and two drowning people can't save each other. I don't have time to even deal with the thought of the cancer coming back. I think that's why I haven't been coming onto this support group. I'm sorry I hadn't let you all know what's been going on in my life.

    the last three Pap smears have come back abnormal so they sent me for a pet scan which didn't show any cancer. The doctor said it's probably from the internal radaton treatments, which I'm still hurting from! Yuk!

     

    Has anyone here been on Paxil for  antidepressant?

    I've been worried about you,

    I've been worried about you, Annabelle, and glad you posted.  I am so sorry about your husband but understand your feelings of resentment and anger.  It's hard enough just taking care of ourselves going through cancer without having to take care of another person.  Does your state or county have some respite care available?  What about you getting some mental health counseling so you can deal better with the situation?  Does your insurance company have a nurse advocate you can contact to see what they will pay for?

    (((Annabelle)))

    Love,

    Eldri

     

     

  • Editgrl
    Editgrl Member Posts: 903 Member
    #18
    Annabella Rose said:

    I'm still kicking!

    it will be a year since I've finished my third and final chemo treatments this month. Then I completed five rounds of internal radiation treatments.

    I have been busy and concerned with my husbands health. I noticed he was detaching from me and what I was going through when I was still going through my treatments. He was all into himself and how sick he felt. The doctors and I thought he had a nervous breakdown.

    I was building up a lot of resentmen toward him. I wanted him to celebrate my serviving the cancer, surgeries and treatments, but instead he was in a deep depression. All he kept talking about is his aches and pains and panic attacks. The money issues concerning how much our medical bills were adding up was eating him up.

    After almost a full year of him being tested the thing they found on his MRI was that he had a few silent strokes.

    He has now showing signs of dementia. I have to take over everything in running our household. I am totally exhausted. Instead of having this time of living my life fully and finding some kind of peace , I am depressed, exshusred and angry at him. And yes, I know how evil that sounds, I don't even like the sound of my own voice when I'm talking too him. He doesn't like to be left alone yet he doesn't want to go out. He gets upset with me if I sleep in longer then him. And he wakes me if I fall asleep watching tv in the afternoon. He is a completely changed man who can't take care of himself because of the dementia.

    I made an appointment with my primary to ask for some help with me mentally. He prescribed Paxil. I may start taking it tomorrow.

    My husband is so sick. And my reacting to him is so bad and I don't know how to stop. His doctor said for me to try to find help with our insurance company because he is going to get worse and two drowning people can't save each other. I don't have time to even deal with the thought of the cancer coming back. I think that's why I haven't been coming onto this support group. I'm sorry I hadn't let you all know what's been going on in my life.

    the last three Pap smears have come back abnormal so they sent me for a pet scan which didn't show any cancer. The doctor said it's probably from the internal radaton treatments, which I'm still hurting from! Yuk!

     

    Has anyone here been on Paxil for  antidepressant?

    Annabella

    When I read about your husband, I was struck by how similar his behavior sounds to a friend's husband.  I just talked with her last night and after her husband suffered a couple of heart attacks, he began exhibiting symptoms just like your husband's, including panic attacks, and not wanting to be alone, etc.  He was diagnosed with PTSD and anti-anxiety drugs have helped him immensely.  Is it possible that this could be part of your husband's situation, too?  You had mentioned in the past how hard he took your cancer diagnosis/treatment and the fact that you thought he had had a nervous breakdown.  It might be something to consider.

    In any case, I can only echo with others have said about trying to get some help with caring for him.  Please explore what might be available in your area.  If you are exhausted, you can't help him or yourself, as you are aware.  I am so sorry that you are dealing with all of this right now.

    Chris

     

  • Lou Ann M
    Lou Ann M Member Posts: 996 Member
    #19
    Annabella Rose said:

    I'm still kicking!

    it will be a year since I've finished my third and final chemo treatments this month. Then I completed five rounds of internal radiation treatments.

    I have been busy and concerned with my husbands health. I noticed he was detaching from me and what I was going through when I was still going through my treatments. He was all into himself and how sick he felt. The doctors and I thought he had a nervous breakdown.

    I was building up a lot of resentmen toward him. I wanted him to celebrate my serviving the cancer, surgeries and treatments, but instead he was in a deep depression. All he kept talking about is his aches and pains and panic attacks. The money issues concerning how much our medical bills were adding up was eating him up.

    After almost a full year of him being tested the thing they found on his MRI was that he had a few silent strokes.

    He has now showing signs of dementia. I have to take over everything in running our household. I am totally exhausted. Instead of having this time of living my life fully and finding some kind of peace , I am depressed, exshusred and angry at him. And yes, I know how evil that sounds, I don't even like the sound of my own voice when I'm talking too him. He doesn't like to be left alone yet he doesn't want to go out. He gets upset with me if I sleep in longer then him. And he wakes me if I fall asleep watching tv in the afternoon. He is a completely changed man who can't take care of himself because of the dementia.

    I made an appointment with my primary to ask for some help with me mentally. He prescribed Paxil. I may start taking it tomorrow.

    My husband is so sick. And my reacting to him is so bad and I don't know how to stop. His doctor said for me to try to find help with our insurance company because he is going to get worse and two drowning people can't save each other. I don't have time to even deal with the thought of the cancer coming back. I think that's why I haven't been coming onto this support group. I'm sorry I hadn't let you all know what's been going on in my life.

    the last three Pap smears have come back abnormal so they sent me for a pet scan which didn't show any cancer. The doctor said it's probably from the internal radaton treatments, which I'm still hurting from! Yuk!

     

    Has anyone here been on Paxil for  antidepressant?

    Annabelle, Praying for you and your husband

    I am so glad that you are doing better, cancer wise, Hope you can keep dancing with NED forever .  My heart goes out o you.  Taking care of you husband has to be unbearably hard.  Try to get some help for you first.  You need your own mental Heath to be strong to help him.  This is a good place to vent,  we are here for you.  Hugs and prayers, Lou Ann

  • molimoli
    molimoli Member Posts: 514
    #20
    Lou Ann M said:

    Missing you

    missing you but not really worried, just figured you were getting ready for surgery and all the stuff that goes with moving.  We all need to hear different veiws.  I love the way you write. You have a way of saying things that I wish I could manage.  Your words of encouragement truely do just that.  Keep writing sometimes my mind is tired and really needs your words.  Hugs and prayers, Lou Ann

    i found a new way to keep my mind of the "C" word.  My husband got me a new puppy last weekend and I have not had time to think of any thing except "where is Lilly now". She is a nine week old Morkie _about 2 lb and can get into almost every thin.  Now my husband is not a dog lover but last night he told me that she was to precious to leave at a dog sitter while we try to get away in July.  LOL

    Missed this post Lou Ann, Sorry.Will PM you later.

    I am currently going crazy with the wait for surgery, if it doesn't happen within the next month I will be off of that list for sure, I will take my chances on my alternatives and be done with it comes what may. I need to do other things than waiting. In the mean time I am drinking my own herbal brew,Doctor me is on the case. Watch me cure or kill me. I just hope they (doctors) hurry up and rescue me from myself, really rescue me from myself by taking out these tumors before they embed themselves in my wherever  and become like a birth defect instead of an intruder, then the Cancer and I will become one and the same , I am not hugging that reality at all. I am fighting back with cancer busting brew ( maybe life busting too, we'll see eh!) or so I tell myself.Overall I am fine.

    Dogs and garden does wonders for spirit, hubby is a thinker.

    I wish you all NED in a hurry. moli.Nuff Love.

  • TeddyandBears_Mom
    TeddyandBears_Mom Member Posts: 1,814 Member
    #21
    molimoli said:

    Missed this post Lou Ann, Sorry.Will PM you later.

    I am currently going crazy with the wait for surgery, if it doesn't happen within the next month I will be off of that list for sure, I will take my chances on my alternatives and be done with it comes what may. I need to do other things than waiting. In the mean time I am drinking my own herbal brew,Doctor me is on the case. Watch me cure or kill me. I just hope they (doctors) hurry up and rescue me from myself, really rescue me from myself by taking out these tumors before they embed themselves in my wherever  and become like a birth defect instead of an intruder, then the Cancer and I will become one and the same , I am not hugging that reality at all. I am fighting back with cancer busting brew ( maybe life busting too, we'll see eh!) or so I tell myself.Overall I am fine.

    Dogs and garden does wonders for spirit, hubby is a thinker.

    I wish you all NED in a hurry. moli.Nuff Love.

    Moli - can you call them

    Moli - can you call them again and push them for a date? It has been so darn long! Don't let them forget about you! You might have to park your butt in their offices...? Or maybe give up on getting the tummy tuck at the same time?

    Love and Hugs,

    Cindi

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