frustrated ... sometimes i miss myself
Hello all, its been a while since i last posted.
This week is one year from my first surgery before i knew i had cancer.
And now i am 7 months post radio treatment.
I always thought everything will be okay once i finish treatment ... well it is ofcourse u get rid of the cancer. But sometimes after treatmemt u get bit lost!
U change, wether a little change or too much change, u do change.
I feel bad saying this bcz i know i am blessed and thank God for everything and there are ppl still fighting and in pain and i pray for them. But i do feel frustrated bcz i changed by force not will !
I hate the fact that i lost my job and i cant find any, and i dont know whats next, i feel lost.
Before all of this i had a job that i loved , lots of plans for the future, i was like fire! Always laughing, planning, out doing activities, ... now i feel im back to Zero! And every day passes by with me thinking whats next ...but not really doing anything.
Im sorry if my msg is long or irrelavent. But its sad to see that everyone around me are busy making their life count and im just sitting home watching.
Maybe im overreacting... but its what am at right now. And whats worse is i dont enjoy good things like before.
Sorry if my msg is irrelevant but again its me venting.
Wish u all a painless day/night.
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