yikes
Just got emailed my annual mammogram results from Monday. Lovely. That's sarcasm. Came back Diagnostic category 4, suspicious for malignancy, but finding does not exhibit classic findings of breast cancer, recommendation is stereotactic breast biopsy. So I called the oncologist, the radiation oncologist, and the surgeon. Because of course I want the biopsy to be done now, or at least in one hour:) Was told I have to start with the surgeon. I'm waiting for an appointment.
Thing is, it's the same breast. So if it's back, I already know this means mastectomy cause you can't radiate same area twice, and if I have to go that route, then I want to be even steven, so it means double.
This was gonna be five years, not that that means anything, I know, but still. And can I just say I don't like any of this and I'm not good at waiting and and and. You already know everything I'm thinking.
xoxo
Victoria
Comments
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Holy @#$%!
I indeed know.
and and and...know that you are not alone but in the thoughts and prayers of many.
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So that's how you spell @#$%!Holy @#$%!
I indeed know.
and and and...know that you are not alone but in the thoughts and prayers of many.
Always wondered just how to spell it. And that's some strong language, Theresa, for this board:)
I, of course, have my computer on my lap looking up words like pleomorphic and microcalcifications. And wondering just how hard it would be for the surgeon's office to actually pick up a phone and call me back and let me make an appointment. Honestly, waiting is not my strong suit.
Thanks for responding. I appreciate hearing from you.
xo
Victoria
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F***!Holy @#$%!
I indeed know.
and and and...know that you are not alone but in the thoughts and prayers of many.
Victoria, I'm sure I'm thinking the same thing you're thinking: F***!
You know we're all here waiting with you. For your part, you've got to try, try, TRY not to get ahead of yourself until you get the biopsy results (I know how easy it is to say that). You don't want to spend the next days and sleepless nights wasting all your time worrying about something that may not even happen. As best you can, try to wait to worry until you know what it is you have to worry about. Worrying should be efficient, no?
Big hug to you,
Traci
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Well, okayTraciInLA said:F***!
Victoria, I'm sure I'm thinking the same thing you're thinking: F***!
You know we're all here waiting with you. For your part, you've got to try, try, TRY not to get ahead of yourself until you get the biopsy results (I know how easy it is to say that). You don't want to spend the next days and sleepless nights wasting all your time worrying about something that may not even happen. As best you can, try to wait to worry until you know what it is you have to worry about. Worrying should be efficient, no?
Big hug to you,
Traci
Yes, Traci, worrying should be efficient. So I'll try to avoid random acts of useless worrying. I knew you'd have some advice. Just hang on to that gently used drain belt:)
Can I just say I much prefer the role of being supportive and not the one needing support?
xo
Victoria
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I now have a job to be your support!aisling8 said:Well, okay
Yes, Traci, worrying should be efficient. So I'll try to avoid random acts of useless worrying. I knew you'd have some advice. Just hang on to that gently used drain belt:)
Can I just say I much prefer the role of being supportive and not the one needing support?
xo
Victoria
Worrying just makes me want a donut... lucky for you the best donut shop ever is just down the PCH so that is positive #1, 2. Same breast means most likely a local recurrance (that is if it isnt scar tissue or just calcifications [which could be 3]). 4. The bus will be available.. so you have tons of support! 5. You already know us all and how awesome everyone is so you dont have to worry about us and you know we are all here for you and hoping and praying that this is a benign waste of time. Now honestly when I saw the post my heart dropped, this is F'#%&@ Up. Patience is a virtue that bypassed me, so I truly do know what it feels like to have to wait at all.. I wish they could have done a biopsy today. and that it will just be calcifications. I am sending hugs and prayers and I am sure you heard the other stuff I had to say! (I did develop a colorful vocabulary even tho no patience). Keep us posted, and please let me know when and where you get the appt. Are you part of the new.cancer facility I heard about in San Marcos? Or call me. Carol
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We'll support each other, Carolcamul said:I now have a job to be your support!
Worrying just makes me want a donut... lucky for you the best donut shop ever is just down the PCH so that is positive #1, 2. Same breast means most likely a local recurrance (that is if it isnt scar tissue or just calcifications [which could be 3]). 4. The bus will be available.. so you have tons of support! 5. You already know us all and how awesome everyone is so you dont have to worry about us and you know we are all here for you and hoping and praying that this is a benign waste of time. Now honestly when I saw the post my heart dropped, this is F'#%&@ Up. Patience is a virtue that bypassed me, so I truly do know what it feels like to have to wait at all.. I wish they could have done a biopsy today. and that it will just be calcifications. I am sending hugs and prayers and I am sure you heard the other stuff I had to say! (I did develop a colorful vocabulary even tho no patience). Keep us posted, and please let me know when and where you get the appt. Are you part of the new.cancer facility I heard about in San Marcos? Or call me. Carol
I think it's interesting how many of us respond to bad news with cursing:) And we all spell the words differently.
If donuts shipped well, I'd send you a box from VG's. A donut just doesn't fix this. Nor does being cranky so I may as well stop that, too.
Three doctors, and I'm funneled back to the surgeon. I like her, but she and her office are not known for their speediness. I'm still waiting for a call, for the authorization to schedule the biopsy. I'd handle this better if I could get on with it. But just sitting around waiting for her to give me a call -- that doesn't work for me.
Thanks, Carol, for your 5 positives. I'll keep you all posted. I see no reason to alarm my family so you guys are gonna have to bear the brunt of receiving my every thought during this process. Oh, lucky you.
xoxo
Victoria
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So sorry to hear this crappy
So sorry to hear this crappy news. Whatever happens, I hope things go smoothly for you.
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hugs
hugs
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Oh Cr@p!
Victoria, I am really sorry to hear this! I HOPE that when you finally get your doctor on the phone and the biopsy done that the news will be good. Waiting is maddening. Expletives do help, I "swear" it! Go for it, say your favorite and keep saying it until you feel a little better. I just got through an endometrial biopsy because of hyperplasia and it turned out fine so I'm hopeful that yours will be too.
Hang in there as best you can.
Best,
Clementine
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See? More swearing:)Clementine_P said:Oh Cr@p!
Victoria, I am really sorry to hear this! I HOPE that when you finally get your doctor on the phone and the biopsy done that the news will be good. Waiting is maddening. Expletives do help, I "swear" it! Go for it, say your favorite and keep saying it until you feel a little better. I just got through an endometrial biopsy because of hyperplasia and it turned out fine so I'm hopeful that yours will be too.
Hang in there as best you can.
Best,
Clementine
Well, I finally got authorization and scheduled the biopsy for Monday the 2nd. For the moment everything that can be done has been done and I'll carry on with my little life till it's time to be disrupted again:)
Thanks for the responses. It's nice to have a familiar place to come to.
xoxo
Victoria
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Bloody Hell (Brit) and not
Bloody Hell (Brit) and not queens English either. IF it's what you think it could be, lots of us here had mastectomies. I actually prefer to be as 'even' as can possibly be without paying Holywood Plastic Surgeon fees. Let's see first. No I hate waiting too, who does! We pay enough in this country to get results asap. Tell us when you know the outcome and remember we all feel for you because we all fear a return and understand exactly what you are going through.
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VictoriaRozHopkins said:Bloody Hell (Brit) and not
Bloody Hell (Brit) and not queens English either. IF it's what you think it could be, lots of us here had mastectomies. I actually prefer to be as 'even' as can possibly be without paying Holywood Plastic Surgeon fees. Let's see first. No I hate waiting too, who does! We pay enough in this country to get results asap. Tell us when you know the outcome and remember we all feel for you because we all fear a return and understand exactly what you are going through.
Good thoughts andVictoria
Good thoughts and gentle hugs coming your way
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Well, %$#*fauxma said:Victoria
Good thoughts andVictoria
Good thoughts and gentle hugs coming your way
Fill in whatever curse word you want, they all work well. Monday is really soon, although I know it doesn't feel like it. Should we load up the bus and go with you? I'm so upset about this. And I hope it will be all be ok. I'm so sorry you're going through this emotional roller coaster again. Just when you think all of this is behind you, they see something they need to check!!! Dang.
Sending lots of positive thoughts and prayers your way.
Clemintine, glad your endo biopsy came out ok. Whew on that one.
Suzanne
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Holy Crap-O-Lacati0314 said:Waiting
Hi Victoria,
I'm also bad at waiting. I think it takes its toll on all of us. Praying for a good outcome for your.
Best, Sharon
What a roller coaster ride - and turn of events. Dang, Darn, shoot, WTF!! March 2nd can't come soon enough ---
Sending you magic sprinkles, and prayers.
Vicki Sam
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Thanks SuzanneDouble Whammy said:Well, %$#*
Fill in whatever curse word you want, they all work well. Monday is really soon, although I know it doesn't feel like it. Should we load up the bus and go with you? I'm so upset about this. And I hope it will be all be ok. I'm so sorry you're going through this emotional roller coaster again. Just when you think all of this is behind you, they see something they need to check!!! Dang.
Sending lots of positive thoughts and prayers your way.
Clemintine, glad your endo biopsy came out ok. Whew on that one.
Suzanne
I was an internal wreck. Very relieved now.
Xoxo,
Clementine
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Thank you, each and every one of youVickiSam said:Holy Crap-O-La
What a roller coaster ride - and turn of events. Dang, Darn, shoot, WTF!! March 2nd can't come soon enough ---
Sending you magic sprinkles, and prayers.
Vicki Sam
Thank you for the responses, the good wishes, the compassion, the understanding. I'm actually okay. March 2nd is soon. It will be the waiting for results, waiting for one of the three doctors to bother to tell me the results -- that's when I'll go crazy. Just preparing you:)
And so, off to work.
xoxo
Victoria
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Been Away a Few Daysaisling8 said:Thank you, each and every one of you
Thank you for the responses, the good wishes, the compassion, the understanding. I'm actually okay. March 2nd is soon. It will be the waiting for results, waiting for one of the three doctors to bother to tell me the results -- that's when I'll go crazy. Just preparing you:)
And so, off to work.
xoxo
Victoria
Wouldn't you know it? Can't trust this Dam Place to stay calm even a few days and now we have this bad news to worry about.......... Fooey* Here is what I hope happens.... I hope that Monday when you get this Biop that the Radiologist will be kind enough to let you know something right away. I know that they can't tell you for sure...but when I had my Biop she came out to ask if I had a Support Group and to tell me that it appeared to be BC to her and I should be prepared for that. I have often thought about her act of kindness to tell me immediately......it's the horrible waiting that does us in. Prayers for Strength and Courage Victoria.........and sending special Hug. xxoo Glo
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