So true!
I found this article so very interesting. It says exactly what I've thought so many times and reminds me of why I continue to come to this support site, where people truly understand.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/erika-lade/cancer-friendship_b_3539970.html
Comments
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Martha...
This is so perfect. I posted to my fb page but witha thank you to those who continue to support me. (hope no one was offended) It is so important to have this place to come to though and share with people who can truely understand. Thanks for posting!!
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Great Article!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This article is so true. It is exactly how I have felt for the last almost five years. Thanks for sharing it with us martha. Have a great weekend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mike
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Martha, thanks for posting
Martha, thanks for posting this article. Thing is, I don't really agree with it's sentiment.
We should never expect more from people than they're able to give - and friends are people. Some can deal with it (our diagnosis, treatment, side effects, the thought we might die, etc), some cannot.
Not being able to deal with something does not equal being a bad friend. Don't give up on friends who can't deal with it. If anything, try to understand where they're coming from. They're scared of cancer. It doesn't mean they don't care for us and it doesn't mean they're bad friends. They're scared of what we are going through and that it might happen to them some day.
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RoseRoseC said:Martha, thanks for posting
Martha, thanks for posting this article. Thing is, I don't really agree with it's sentiment.
We should never expect more from people than they're able to give - and friends are people. Some can deal with it (our diagnosis, treatment, side effects, the thought we might die, etc), some cannot.
Not being able to deal with something does not equal being a bad friend. Don't give up on friends who can't deal with it. If anything, try to understand where they're coming from. They're scared of cancer. It doesn't mean they don't care for us and it doesn't mean they're bad friends. They're scared of what we are going through and that it might happen to them some day.
You are very kind and you have an interesting perspective. As I told my daughter, life is short, spend your time with people who can think about others. I simply don't have time for self centered people. Staying away from a sick friend because they are afraid it is contagious is beyond my comprehension. I do pray for people like that, but I don't have time for them.0 -
Rose--Marynb said:Rose
You are very kind and you have an interesting perspective. As I told my daughter, life is short, spend your time with people who can think about others. I simply don't have time for self centered people. Staying away from a sick friend because they are afraid it is contagious is beyond my comprehension. I do pray for people like that, but I don't have time for them.I have to agree with Marynb. I no longer care to call people friends who can't deal with my reality because it "might happen to them." Life is life--bad things happen to all of us and if we can't be there for each other, then we have nothing in the way of a friendship. I live next door to a couple who I call dear friends. He happens to be a physician and has a heart of gold. He has helped me navigate through this nightmare and has been my angel through treatment (and still is!). Now, this is going to sound unkind, but it's the truth. His wife is a totally different type of person. Once she learned of my cancer, she completely shut down. During treatment, she did not once call me to see how I was, if I needed anything or just to talk. I have done many things for her over the years, such as met her kids at the school bus stop and took them to my house if she was not home yet, mowed her yard for her when she was sick, taken care of the dogs when they are out of town, etc. I was very hurt that she just simply ignored me at a time when I just needed a little kindness. A year or so after I completed treatment, she helped organize a pancake breakfast to raise money to help a young man in our neighborhood who has cancer and you would have thought she had just saved the world. I attended, but couldnl't help thinking, where was all that compassion and support when I, who lives only a few yards from her, was suffering? These are things I've tried to understand many times over. I am just very thankful that her husband is the doctor, not her. I believe he would walk to the end of the earth for me if it was what I needed from him.
Okay, that was VERY cathartic!
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One more thingmp327 said:Rose--
I have to agree with Marynb. I no longer care to call people friends who can't deal with my reality because it "might happen to them." Life is life--bad things happen to all of us and if we can't be there for each other, then we have nothing in the way of a friendship. I live next door to a couple who I call dear friends. He happens to be a physician and has a heart of gold. He has helped me navigate through this nightmare and has been my angel through treatment (and still is!). Now, this is going to sound unkind, but it's the truth. His wife is a totally different type of person. Once she learned of my cancer, she completely shut down. During treatment, she did not once call me to see how I was, if I needed anything or just to talk. I have done many things for her over the years, such as met her kids at the school bus stop and took them to my house if she was not home yet, mowed her yard for her when she was sick, taken care of the dogs when they are out of town, etc. I was very hurt that she just simply ignored me at a time when I just needed a little kindness. A year or so after I completed treatment, she helped organize a pancake breakfast to raise money to help a young man in our neighborhood who has cancer and you would have thought she had just saved the world. I attended, but couldnl't help thinking, where was all that compassion and support when I, who lives only a few yards from her, was suffering? These are things I've tried to understand many times over. I am just very thankful that her husband is the doctor, not her. I believe he would walk to the end of the earth for me if it was what I needed from him.
Okay, that was VERY cathartic!
I guess my attitude also comes from the fact that I have an 88-year old mother who has dementia and lives over 600 miles away from me. She has been in an assisted living facility for almost 2 years now and her 3 grandsons rarely visit her, even through 2 of them live just within a few miles of her. My brother (their father) has jumped my case many times for not coming up to see her more often (even though I've already been there twice this year and will be going back up late next week), even though his own sons won't go to see her "because it's just too difficult for them to see her that way." These are grown-ups we're talking about, two of them married. Yes, reality sucks sometimes, but it is what it is.
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Everyones different.....mp327 said:One more thing
I guess my attitude also comes from the fact that I have an 88-year old mother who has dementia and lives over 600 miles away from me. She has been in an assisted living facility for almost 2 years now and her 3 grandsons rarely visit her, even through 2 of them live just within a few miles of her. My brother (their father) has jumped my case many times for not coming up to see her more often (even though I've already been there twice this year and will be going back up late next week), even though his own sons won't go to see her "because it's just too difficult for them to see her that way." These are grown-ups we're talking about, two of them married. Yes, reality sucks sometimes, but it is what it is.
What I took from the article was not so much a judgement on my friends (most of mine were and still are supportive), but more an explanation to society that if you don't see the effects of cancer that doesn't mean its all gone. "Whether you see it in my body or not, cancer will always be part of my life." I never literally expected anyone to shave their head for me, but I'd sure like people to understand that 2yrs after treatment in order for me to look the way they perceive me (padded bra to cover scars where my breast used to be, appropriate shirt to cover colostomy bag, other related health issues)......no, my cancer so to speak is not really gone. I manage just fine, but just the other day got one of those comments "so its all gone now, you're good, thats great"........I just smiled and said, "yeah, it LOOKS that way."
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Good topiceihtak said:Everyones different.....
What I took from the article was not so much a judgement on my friends (most of mine were and still are supportive), but more an explanation to society that if you don't see the effects of cancer that doesn't mean its all gone. "Whether you see it in my body or not, cancer will always be part of my life." I never literally expected anyone to shave their head for me, but I'd sure like people to understand that 2yrs after treatment in order for me to look the way they perceive me (padded bra to cover scars where my breast used to be, appropriate shirt to cover colostomy bag, other related health issues)......no, my cancer so to speak is not really gone. I manage just fine, but just the other day got one of those comments "so its all gone now, you're good, thats great"........I just smiled and said, "yeah, it LOOKS that way."
I am now almost 6 months past treatment. However, I am in limbo land regarding was it effective. They are still trying to establish why the second lymph node has not responded to treatment. Is it a lymh node , is in an ovary, or is it something else? People ask if I have to have any more treatment.
. It is very complicated to explain. Someone I spoke to just yesterday when I explained where I was at asked if I was depressed. Well, no. But I am worried and doubt anyone else would be less worried. I think it's fair to say it is appropriate given the circumstances People are often ignorant, in the true sense of the word, just what having a diagnosis of cancer means, let alone the consequences ofvtreatment.. As for relationships, I have weeded out some due to their lack of support. Have 3 sisters. I live in Wales. I have 2 sisters to live locally. 1 I have not seen since I told her of my diagnosis. My third sister lives in Australia and came over recently to offer support, plus reguar phone calls. I am stil sad about my estranged sister, but I am growing used to her being absent. I know I would never have abandoned her. We are not all the same. Now I put my limited energy into relationships that are more equal.Apart of course, to help my friend who has been diagnosed with MND & even then, with her lightwriter & texts she asks ME how I am. Liz
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Thanks..
This article came at a good time for me. A friend that I used to run around with( drive to little towns to rummage in junk shops etc and try out new restaurants) stopped being my friend and at first she said nothing. Then she told her husband who told my husband, you know how it goes, that I wasnt "Dependable" when we made plans half he time I had an "excuse" not to go! As if I had any bowel control! I was too much trouble I guess..... Type 4 friend for sure....
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I loved this article but was sad to see how young she is. She certainly is grown up. More than me, I think and I am a senior citizen almost.
This whole thing (being a cancer survivor) has shaken my world to the core because I always wanted to be a friend to someone else but I really had not let many people be a friend to me. Having to talk about my illness when I needed to talk about it was very hard. Some really nice people came to see me from my church during treatment and slowly I am accepting them as my friends. Maybe because I thought they were so much better than me for whatever reason. I still find it awkward. My "best friend" at church completely went underground through the whole thing. We went to lunch together while I was still recovering and she talked about herself and her naturopathic doctor, colonics, etc the whole time. Once I went to speak of how I was not able to even visualize doing colonics at that point she curtly said "this isn't about YOU!" I could be way off track but, at the time, it seemed like she was jealous of the attention I had received from people at church who really prayed and brought food and visited me.
During these first two years or however much time when we can have extremely good days and bad days is hard to explain and we shouldn't need to. People close to me know that I have struggled a lot with illness since my treatments ended. (Pertussis and now this hearing loss and vertigo problem and asthma, asthma, asthma!). Anyway, I am happy at Sloan Kettering and I believe it is because everyone there has or is affected by cancer. It doesn't even seem sad there, it seems natural. The same thing with this board. I am amazed the responses on here from all of y'all to things that even feel crazy to me when I write them, but you all understand. We give each other understanding and that is a wonderful gift. I think it is hard to find in most of the world out there. But who knows. I have spent much of my time involved with books and music and family rather than people. My dogs are where it's at! But how good a friend am I when I would rather be with my dogs than people in sickness or health?
My relationship with my husband has changed so much. At first he stayed in such denial it was like he was in some sort of alternate universe, but slowly he is not just driving me but really trying to be there and offer heartfelt support for the ups and downs. He used to take everything personally and I finally stopped apologizing all the time. I worked on my issues and the good news is:
We Had Sex! No Pain Either! Whoooo Hooooooo! Almost two years post treatment and this was the first successful attempt. Neither of us at one point believed it would ever happen again. Ha, ha! That helps everything!
I have scans on Saturday. They are doing my head again as well as my pelvis. Wish me luck!
I definitely want to be a better friend.
Love,
Sandy
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Sandy, you are amazing. Everysandysp said:I loved this article but was sad to see how young she is. She certainly is grown up. More than me, I think and I am a senior citizen almost.
This whole thing (being a cancer survivor) has shaken my world to the core because I always wanted to be a friend to someone else but I really had not let many people be a friend to me. Having to talk about my illness when I needed to talk about it was very hard. Some really nice people came to see me from my church during treatment and slowly I am accepting them as my friends. Maybe because I thought they were so much better than me for whatever reason. I still find it awkward. My "best friend" at church completely went underground through the whole thing. We went to lunch together while I was still recovering and she talked about herself and her naturopathic doctor, colonics, etc the whole time. Once I went to speak of how I was not able to even visualize doing colonics at that point she curtly said "this isn't about YOU!" I could be way off track but, at the time, it seemed like she was jealous of the attention I had received from people at church who really prayed and brought food and visited me.
During these first two years or however much time when we can have extremely good days and bad days is hard to explain and we shouldn't need to. People close to me know that I have struggled a lot with illness since my treatments ended. (Pertussis and now this hearing loss and vertigo problem and asthma, asthma, asthma!). Anyway, I am happy at Sloan Kettering and I believe it is because everyone there has or is affected by cancer. It doesn't even seem sad there, it seems natural. The same thing with this board. I am amazed the responses on here from all of y'all to things that even feel crazy to me when I write them, but you all understand. We give each other understanding and that is a wonderful gift. I think it is hard to find in most of the world out there. But who knows. I have spent much of my time involved with books and music and family rather than people. My dogs are where it's at! But how good a friend am I when I would rather be with my dogs than people in sickness or health?
My relationship with my husband has changed so much. At first he stayed in such denial it was like he was in some sort of alternate universe, but slowly he is not just driving me but really trying to be there and offer heartfelt support for the ups and downs. He used to take everything personally and I finally stopped apologizing all the time. I worked on my issues and the good news is:
We Had Sex! No Pain Either! Whoooo Hooooooo! Almost two years post treatment and this was the first successful attempt. Neither of us at one point believed it would ever happen again. Ha, ha! That helps everything!
I have scans on Saturday. They are doing my head again as well as my pelvis. Wish me luck!
I definitely want to be a better friend.
Love,
Sandy
Sandy, you are amazing. Every time I read one of your posts I'm in awe. Thank you so much for sharing your feelings. I feel some of the same things (like not letting many others be friends and wanting to be a better friend). I wish you all the luck in the world on your upcoming scans.
PLUS - dogs ROCK!
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SandyRoseC said:Sandy, you are amazing. Every
Sandy, you are amazing. Every time I read one of your posts I'm in awe. Thank you so much for sharing your feelings. I feel some of the same things (like not letting many others be friends and wanting to be a better friend). I wish you all the luck in the world on your upcoming scans.
PLUS - dogs ROCK!
You have an amazing attitude. Don't ever change. Liz
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Sandysandysp said:I loved this article but was sad to see how young she is. She certainly is grown up. More than me, I think and I am a senior citizen almost.
This whole thing (being a cancer survivor) has shaken my world to the core because I always wanted to be a friend to someone else but I really had not let many people be a friend to me. Having to talk about my illness when I needed to talk about it was very hard. Some really nice people came to see me from my church during treatment and slowly I am accepting them as my friends. Maybe because I thought they were so much better than me for whatever reason. I still find it awkward. My "best friend" at church completely went underground through the whole thing. We went to lunch together while I was still recovering and she talked about herself and her naturopathic doctor, colonics, etc the whole time. Once I went to speak of how I was not able to even visualize doing colonics at that point she curtly said "this isn't about YOU!" I could be way off track but, at the time, it seemed like she was jealous of the attention I had received from people at church who really prayed and brought food and visited me.
During these first two years or however much time when we can have extremely good days and bad days is hard to explain and we shouldn't need to. People close to me know that I have struggled a lot with illness since my treatments ended. (Pertussis and now this hearing loss and vertigo problem and asthma, asthma, asthma!). Anyway, I am happy at Sloan Kettering and I believe it is because everyone there has or is affected by cancer. It doesn't even seem sad there, it seems natural. The same thing with this board. I am amazed the responses on here from all of y'all to things that even feel crazy to me when I write them, but you all understand. We give each other understanding and that is a wonderful gift. I think it is hard to find in most of the world out there. But who knows. I have spent much of my time involved with books and music and family rather than people. My dogs are where it's at! But how good a friend am I when I would rather be with my dogs than people in sickness or health?
My relationship with my husband has changed so much. At first he stayed in such denial it was like he was in some sort of alternate universe, but slowly he is not just driving me but really trying to be there and offer heartfelt support for the ups and downs. He used to take everything personally and I finally stopped apologizing all the time. I worked on my issues and the good news is:
We Had Sex! No Pain Either! Whoooo Hooooooo! Almost two years post treatment and this was the first successful attempt. Neither of us at one point believed it would ever happen again. Ha, ha! That helps everything!
I have scans on Saturday. They are doing my head again as well as my pelvis. Wish me luck!
I definitely want to be a better friend.
Love,
Sandy
Woohoo for Woopee! Okay, I just had to say that.
I believe cancer changes a lot of relationships. Unlike you and your husband, I find that my husband has become more distant. I'm not sure why, perhaps he is fearful of losing me. I don't know. He's a quiet person (kind of the opposite of me!) and never says much. I worry that if something would happen to me, he would become very isolated. I sometimes kid him about becoming a recluse like Howard Hughes if I were to die (minus all that money, of course)--LOL! I have told several of our male friends that they cannot let that happen!
As for understanding what we go through as cancer survivors, I truly think it's impossible unless someone has been through it or seen someone they are very close to go through it. I don't know if people turn away because they feel awkward for not understanding or what, but I would love it if someone would have just asked me what it was like going through treatment. Having someone attempt to understand would make me feel better, if that makes sense.
One of my friends went through a nasty divorce a few months after my treatment ended and had the nerve to compare what they were going through to what I had been through. Uh, not even close, IMO. They remind of the friend you mentioned--self-absorbed!
You mentioned your dogs--animals are the greatest comfort. I am a cat person, myself--I have two. They can be much more all about themselves than dogs, but when it was crunch time and I was feeling my lowest, they were both there for me. I would take an afternoon nap and wake up to find one on each side of me snuggled up to me as close as they could get. They know when we are not feeling well, don't ask us a bunch of silly questions, and for the comfort they give us ask for nothing in return.
And I must say, I think you are a WONDERFUL friend! Hugs to you, dear Sandy!
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postsmp327 said:Sandy
Woohoo for Woopee! Okay, I just had to say that.
I believe cancer changes a lot of relationships. Unlike you and your husband, I find that my husband has become more distant. I'm not sure why, perhaps he is fearful of losing me. I don't know. He's a quiet person (kind of the opposite of me!) and never says much. I worry that if something would happen to me, he would become very isolated. I sometimes kid him about becoming a recluse like Howard Hughes if I were to die (minus all that money, of course)--LOL! I have told several of our male friends that they cannot let that happen!
As for understanding what we go through as cancer survivors, I truly think it's impossible unless someone has been through it or seen someone they are very close to go through it. I don't know if people turn away because they feel awkward for not understanding or what, but I would love it if someone would have just asked me what it was like going through treatment. Having someone attempt to understand would make me feel better, if that makes sense.
One of my friends went through a nasty divorce a few months after my treatment ended and had the nerve to compare what they were going through to what I had been through. Uh, not even close, IMO. They remind of the friend you mentioned--self-absorbed!
You mentioned your dogs--animals are the greatest comfort. I am a cat person, myself--I have two. They can be much more all about themselves than dogs, but when it was crunch time and I was feeling my lowest, they were both there for me. I would take an afternoon nap and wake up to find one on each side of me snuggled up to me as close as they could get. They know when we are not feeling well, don't ask us a bunch of silly questions, and for the comfort they give us ask for nothing in return.
And I must say, I think you are a WONDERFUL friend! Hugs to you, dear Sandy!
Wish there was a 'like' button on here lol
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to all of you ----my friendssandysp said:I loved this article but was sad to see how young she is. She certainly is grown up. More than me, I think and I am a senior citizen almost.
This whole thing (being a cancer survivor) has shaken my world to the core because I always wanted to be a friend to someone else but I really had not let many people be a friend to me. Having to talk about my illness when I needed to talk about it was very hard. Some really nice people came to see me from my church during treatment and slowly I am accepting them as my friends. Maybe because I thought they were so much better than me for whatever reason. I still find it awkward. My "best friend" at church completely went underground through the whole thing. We went to lunch together while I was still recovering and she talked about herself and her naturopathic doctor, colonics, etc the whole time. Once I went to speak of how I was not able to even visualize doing colonics at that point she curtly said "this isn't about YOU!" I could be way off track but, at the time, it seemed like she was jealous of the attention I had received from people at church who really prayed and brought food and visited me.
During these first two years or however much time when we can have extremely good days and bad days is hard to explain and we shouldn't need to. People close to me know that I have struggled a lot with illness since my treatments ended. (Pertussis and now this hearing loss and vertigo problem and asthma, asthma, asthma!). Anyway, I am happy at Sloan Kettering and I believe it is because everyone there has or is affected by cancer. It doesn't even seem sad there, it seems natural. The same thing with this board. I am amazed the responses on here from all of y'all to things that even feel crazy to me when I write them, but you all understand. We give each other understanding and that is a wonderful gift. I think it is hard to find in most of the world out there. But who knows. I have spent much of my time involved with books and music and family rather than people. My dogs are where it's at! But how good a friend am I when I would rather be with my dogs than people in sickness or health?
My relationship with my husband has changed so much. At first he stayed in such denial it was like he was in some sort of alternate universe, but slowly he is not just driving me but really trying to be there and offer heartfelt support for the ups and downs. He used to take everything personally and I finally stopped apologizing all the time. I worked on my issues and the good news is:
We Had Sex! No Pain Either! Whoooo Hooooooo! Almost two years post treatment and this was the first successful attempt. Neither of us at one point believed it would ever happen again. Ha, ha! That helps everything!
I have scans on Saturday. They are doing my head again as well as my pelvis. Wish me luck!
I definitely want to be a better friend.
Love,
Sandy
i love every one of you even tho we have never met in person..... i need all of you.... i am here for all of you, if you need me....yes, friendship varies in hard times.... i have had some come out of the wood work to help..... others are a disappointment .... but maybe i expect too much..... no one but all of us understand.... there are 2 girls in my area with this cancer who do understand.... there was one guy with whom i spoke every day but his metastisized and he is gone now.... and martha, i have my cat in the photo who loves me.... lost my lab 2 years ago....great article..... thx sephie
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sephiesephie said:to all of you ----my friends
i love every one of you even tho we have never met in person..... i need all of you.... i am here for all of you, if you need me....yes, friendship varies in hard times.... i have had some come out of the wood work to help..... others are a disappointment .... but maybe i expect too much..... no one but all of us understand.... there are 2 girls in my area with this cancer who do understand.... there was one guy with whom i spoke every day but his metastisized and he is gone now.... and martha, i have my cat in the photo who loves me.... lost my lab 2 years ago....great article..... thx sephie
I am so sorry for the loss of your friend. I am glad that you have a couple of gals near you who can totally understand this disease and all that goes along with it. I have been so fortunate to have met in person 9 others, 8 women and one man, who are anal cancer survivors. Our conversations would be a real turn-off to someone from outside the circle, but we all feel free to talk about all of the unmentionable stuff! I have also talked to several others on the phone (including our dear Angela!) and it's almost like we have known each other for years. It's a bond like no other.
Your kitty is beautiful! My two are domestic short hairs--a yellow male ( my "Morris" cat) and a torti female. They fight a lot, but no one has lost a limb--yet--LOL! They are my fur babies!
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Sephie, I'm sorry for thesephie said:to all of you ----my friends
i love every one of you even tho we have never met in person..... i need all of you.... i am here for all of you, if you need me....yes, friendship varies in hard times.... i have had some come out of the wood work to help..... others are a disappointment .... but maybe i expect too much..... no one but all of us understand.... there are 2 girls in my area with this cancer who do understand.... there was one guy with whom i spoke every day but his metastisized and he is gone now.... and martha, i have my cat in the photo who loves me.... lost my lab 2 years ago....great article..... thx sephie
Sephie, I'm sorry for the loss of your friend too. You're very important to all of us. And to your kitty. So sorry about your lab. I'll bet he was a great pet. They all are.
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Marthamp327 said:Sandy
Woohoo for Woopee! Okay, I just had to say that.
I believe cancer changes a lot of relationships. Unlike you and your husband, I find that my husband has become more distant. I'm not sure why, perhaps he is fearful of losing me. I don't know. He's a quiet person (kind of the opposite of me!) and never says much. I worry that if something would happen to me, he would become very isolated. I sometimes kid him about becoming a recluse like Howard Hughes if I were to die (minus all that money, of course)--LOL! I have told several of our male friends that they cannot let that happen!
As for understanding what we go through as cancer survivors, I truly think it's impossible unless someone has been through it or seen someone they are very close to go through it. I don't know if people turn away because they feel awkward for not understanding or what, but I would love it if someone would have just asked me what it was like going through treatment. Having someone attempt to understand would make me feel better, if that makes sense.
One of my friends went through a nasty divorce a few months after my treatment ended and had the nerve to compare what they were going through to what I had been through. Uh, not even close, IMO. They remind of the friend you mentioned--self-absorbed!
You mentioned your dogs--animals are the greatest comfort. I am a cat person, myself--I have two. They can be much more all about themselves than dogs, but when it was crunch time and I was feeling my lowest, they were both there for me. I would take an afternoon nap and wake up to find one on each side of me snuggled up to me as close as they could get. They know when we are not feeling well, don't ask us a bunch of silly questions, and for the comfort they give us ask for nothing in return.
And I must say, I think you are a WONDERFUL friend! Hugs to you, dear Sandy!
Funny you had a friend who compared cancer to divorce. I had an absolutley horrible, gut wrenching, hideous divorce. I do have to say that going through cancer treatments....twice....paled in comparison. Really. I know it is hard to imagine anything worse than cancer....but for me too, divorce was far, far worse. Not kidding.0 -
MarynbMarynb said:Martha
Funny you had a friend who compared cancer to divorce. I had an absolutley horrible, gut wrenching, hideous divorce. I do have to say that going through cancer treatments....twice....paled in comparison. Really. I know it is hard to imagine anything worse than cancer....but for me too, divorce was far, far worse. Not kidding.I'm sorry to hear that. I guess it's just hard for me to understand, considering cancer is life-threatening and divorce is most likely not. As I could have predicted, my friend has recovered pretty well.
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