telling people you had anal cancer
Comments
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phoebesnowPhoebesnow said:Lach
It's funny how easy it is to bash the Catholics even by Catholics.
Is this a preconceived notion and a prejudice?
Anyway I think I made my point, everyone is guilty. Oh, unless your perfect.
Yes shame, guilt all that crap my parents gave me in the 60's and 70's trying to install a moral compass in me. Rules to live my life by the only way they knew how to teach them.. Like any child I wanted my parents approval and tried to live by their rules while living in their house. It seems to have been pretty effective as children weren't shooting up schools and performing as little terrorists. We knew our place.
Oh and this catholic has always asked why and how? Nobody ever beat me down for this. I never even heard that we we're not supposed to ask why.
Recently I was watching the channel 4 news and dr nancy synderman was dispelling health myths. The common cold cannot be caught from a chill, wet hair or any of those old myths is what she was saying, that it is an infection that needs to run its course. At the end of the statement she perpetuated the myth by qualifying saying you should wear a hat as you lose most of your warmth trru your head. Boy that last statement annoyed me.
I am obviously the black sheep here, it's rare that I hear any opposition to what u have to say LACH.
Oh, well, I'm sorry if I offended you or others. It wasn't what I set out to do.
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LachLaCh said:phoebesnow
Oh, well, I'm sorry if I offended you or others. It wasn't what I set out to do.
Ok. Thanks.
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PhoebePhoebesnow said:Lach
It's funny how easy it is to bash the Catholics even by Catholics.
Is this a preconceived notion and a prejudice?
Anyway I think I made my point, everyone is guilty. Oh, unless your perfect.
Yes shame, guilt all that crap my parents gave me in the 60's and 70's trying to install a moral compass in me. Rules to live my life by the only way they knew how to teach them.. Like any child I wanted my parents approval and tried to live by their rules while living in their house. It seems to have been pretty effective as children weren't shooting up schools and performing as little terrorists. We knew our place.
Oh and this catholic has always asked why and how? Nobody ever beat me down for this. I never even heard that we we're not supposed to ask why.
Recently I was watching the channel 4 news and dr nancy synderman was dispelling health myths. The common cold cannot be caught from a chill, wet hair or any of those old myths is what she was saying, that it is an infection that needs to run its course. At the end of the statement she perpetuated the myth by qualifying saying you should wear a hat as you lose most of your warmth trru your head. Boy that last statement annoyed me.
I am obviously the black sheep here, it's rare that I hear any opposition to what u have to say LACH.
I understand what you are saying and maybe I gave the wrong impression. I have a very strong moral compass and I thank my parents for that. I ahve always asked why, much to the chagrin of the good nuns at my Catholic college. I was raised in the 50's and 60's. i still believe there is a right and wrong and I do not accept relative moralism. I think having a conscience is a good thing. Shame is counterproductive.0 -
Symptomsdebbie880 said:what are the symptoms of anal cancer
I am constipated and had a pain in my anal area one day that stopped me from getting up so now i need a colonoscopy and an endoscopy. Will see what happens.
What were your symptoms of anal cancer please?
debbie
Symptoms vary. One I hear over and over again is bright red blood a little and sometimes a lot. My anal area was itchy at night and felt wet. My dr told me itwash a hemorroids. You hear that a lot too. I had no pain. I was losing weight and eating everything in sight.
I hope that your results will be good news.
Have you had a DRE or Anascope?
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Symptomsdebbie880 said:what are the symptoms of anal cancer
I am constipated and had a pain in my anal area one day that stopped me from getting up so now i need a colonoscopy and an endoscopy. Will see what happens.
What were your symptoms of anal cancer please?
debbie
The following is a list of the symptoms I experienced.
1) Rectal bleeding
2) Abdominal Bloating
3) A feeling of never being completely emptied out after a BM
4) Unexplained weight loss
5) Mucous discharge from rectum
6) Chronic constipation
7) Fatigue
Please note that the rectal bleeding was the last symptom that appeared.
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MarynbMarynb said:Phoebe
I understand what you are saying and maybe I gave the wrong impression. I have a very strong moral compass and I thank my parents for that. I ahve always asked why, much to the chagrin of the good nuns at my Catholic college. I was raised in the 50's and 60's. i still believe there is a right and wrong and I do not accept relative moralism. I think having a conscience is a good thing. Shame is counterproductive.I agree with you. I am a super liberal, non judgmental, hates gossip, straightforward person you will ever meet. I did notstarts out that way, I was my parents, because that is what I had learned. But I evolved . I believe that everyone should do whats right for them as long as it does not hurt others intentionally. A simple philosophy a simple life.I merely repeated a comment, it was not my philosophy.
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Debbiedebbie880 said:what are the symptoms of anal cancer
I am constipated and had a pain in my anal area one day that stopped me from getting up so now i need a colonoscopy and an endoscopy. Will see what happens.
What were your symptoms of anal cancer please?
debbie
My my main symptom was pain, especially when getting up from a chair. I had a lump and itch, that the doctors told me was a hemmorhoid. I hope it is nothing, but you are doing the right thing getting it checked. I, along with many others, was misdiagnosed for years, despite increasing pain and fatigue.0 -
Guilt..Marynb said:LaCh
When you are raised an Irish Catholic girl, shame is your unofficial middle name! God bless my late mother, she meant well and truly believed that shame was a good thing! I hope I didn't pass this on to my daughter!
Don't forget guilt! Those were the two methods of child rearing in the south. Guilt and shame.... For me I am ALWAYS guilty of something!0 -
Proctalgic NeuralgiaMarynb said:Debbie
My my main symptom was pain, especially when getting up from a chair. I had a lump and itch, that the doctors told me was a hemmorhoid. I hope it is nothing, but you are doing the right thing getting it checked. I, along with many others, was misdiagnosed for years, despite increasing pain and fatigue.Hi Debbie,
There is a condition called Proctalgic Neuraligia, basically it is an unbearable but benign pain in the back rectal area. I first experienced it when I was in my teens and again in my mid thirties, it can be almost unbearable but gradually subsides each time, maybe within 20 mins.
I read all of this thread again and it really saddens me to know that most of you feel shame. Not only have you had an incredible shock with the diagnosis but then shame sets in too. As I mentioned earlier, my first reaction to the bad news was not about the location but the stage, my other family members reaction was the same.
Pem, you do sound so sad, I am sure as time passes you will start to think more about enjoying your life and less about shame. Meanwhile, you have us to confide in and maybe get a laugh from.
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"most of you feel shame"Eliz3 said:Proctalgic Neuralgia
Hi Debbie,
There is a condition called Proctalgic Neuraligia, basically it is an unbearable but benign pain in the back rectal area. I first experienced it when I was in my teens and again in my mid thirties, it can be almost unbearable but gradually subsides each time, maybe within 20 mins.
I read all of this thread again and it really saddens me to know that most of you feel shame. Not only have you had an incredible shock with the diagnosis but then shame sets in too. As I mentioned earlier, my first reaction to the bad news was not about the location but the stage, my other family members reaction was the same.
Pem, you do sound so sad, I am sure as time passes you will start to think more about enjoying your life and less about shame. Meanwhile, you have us to confide in and maybe get a laugh from.
Most? I don't know. Maybe some. I don't feel shame. I can't be the only one.
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shame?
Pem it is up to you what you tell or don't tell people. I tend to vary my information sharing depending on how well I know the person. This is not to share my blushes, but theirs. I don't feel shame from having anal cancer. I'm too busy making the most of my life seeing as I have been given a second chance. My recent scan (I finished treatment 25th January) indicates that the primary tumour and 1 of the 2 lymph nodes thought to be involved haveresponded to treatment. The other lymph node remains as it was on pre treatment scan in November. The node cannot be biopsied due to position, so it will for nowbe observed. So, shame is not on my list of to be/to do. My life is! Don't waste yours worrying about oothers opinions. They are not that important....... well in this instance anyway. Liz x
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Guilt, shame, and....Lorikat said:Guilt..
Don't forget guilt! Those were the two methods of child rearing in the south. Guilt and shame.... For me I am ALWAYS guilty of something!
Don't forget the devil! In my Irish family, it was well known that if you committed a sin, Satan himself would appear at night when you put your head down on the pillow! Lol. Let me tell you, that scares the heck out of a kid and I was soooooo good! LOL.0 -
Add me to the list that tells
Add me to the list that tells strangers and those on my outer circle I had colon cancer. My real friends I have told and I let them know it is because "they can handle it."
Interestingly, even when I was going through radiation and other patients asked me what I was being treated for they seemed embarrassed to discussed anal cancer.
I guess it is more socially acceptable to have a pretty cancer like breast with its nice pink ribbons. Believe me that is said tongue in cheek as I don't wish cancer on anyone.
Really how much do we talk about our bodily functions, probably next to never.
What helped me change my thoughts was my doctor submitted a sample to the Mayo Clinic and told me since I had certain HPV markers that most likely was the reason I got anal cancer. HPV can be acquired quite innocently. I do remember when I broke the cancer diagnosis to my boss I told him don't even think I had anal sex but I was comfortable talking a bit inappropriately at that job but I always thought that would be the first thoughts that passed someone's mind. I never felt uncomfortable with my family but never told my own mother who is in a nursing home what kind of cancer I had - she thinks colon. You may want to share with your doctors your feelings and see what they say or if they suggest you speak to someone about it - you need to focus on your own health and healing. Hugs.
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Anal Cancer AKA Farrah Fawcett Cancer
Pem,
I too had anal cancer which has nothing to do with HPV. I was diagnosed with the rare kind like you had. If people asked I would say "Farrah Fawcett" cancer...they would look at me and say ohhhhhh, so sorry! I did, however smoke (my last cig was on the way to see my doc when I was diagnosed, haven't touched one since!), and we have NO history of any cancer in our family. Also, I did have cervical cancer when I was young (not HPV related either)... who knows...and actually who cares? I was diagnosed with stage III, which was also in my rectum and pelvic and groin lymph nodes.
I have on occassion told people "colo-rectal cancer" because when I would say Anal, they would give me a blank stare, like I was from Mars...not understanding.
All in all we HAVE/HAD cancer. It doesn't matter where in your body it is...it is still cancer. I'm 10 months in remission now. I'm still cautious and am experience a huge amounts of side affects from radiation and chemo. Just had a check up 2 days ago..no evidence of anal cancer YAY!!!, but waiting on results of CAT Scan for rectal and lymph nodes.
I remember being diagnosed the DAY BEFORE MY 50TH and the doc telling me it was the same as Farrah Fawcett. In my mind I was freaking because I though "I'm dead" because she passed from it. My MD explained Farrah had it twice, the first time she was treated and went into remission. The second time she was told she would have to have a permanent colostomy. She didn't want to go that way, and sought alternative options in Germany, which failed, and by the time she returned to the US for treatment, it was too late.
DO NOT be ashamed or embarrassed by the type of cancer you have...EVER!!! Be proud that you are surviving!
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lizginolizgino said:Anal Cancer AKA Farrah Fawcett Cancer
Pem,
I too had anal cancer which has nothing to do with HPV. I was diagnosed with the rare kind like you had. If people asked I would say "Farrah Fawcett" cancer...they would look at me and say ohhhhhh, so sorry! I did, however smoke (my last cig was on the way to see my doc when I was diagnosed, haven't touched one since!), and we have NO history of any cancer in our family. Also, I did have cervical cancer when I was young (not HPV related either)... who knows...and actually who cares? I was diagnosed with stage III, which was also in my rectum and pelvic and groin lymph nodes.
I have on occassion told people "colo-rectal cancer" because when I would say Anal, they would give me a blank stare, like I was from Mars...not understanding.
All in all we HAVE/HAD cancer. It doesn't matter where in your body it is...it is still cancer. I'm 10 months in remission now. I'm still cautious and am experience a huge amounts of side affects from radiation and chemo. Just had a check up 2 days ago..no evidence of anal cancer YAY!!!, but waiting on results of CAT Scan for rectal and lymph nodes.
I remember being diagnosed the DAY BEFORE MY 50TH and the doc telling me it was the same as Farrah Fawcett. In my mind I was freaking because I though "I'm dead" because she passed from it. My MD explained Farrah had it twice, the first time she was treated and went into remission. The second time she was told she would have to have a permanent colostomy. She didn't want to go that way, and sought alternative options in Germany, which failed, and by the time she returned to the US for treatment, it was too late.
DO NOT be ashamed or embarrassed by the type of cancer you have...EVER!!! Be proud that you are surviving!
I'm very glad you got all good news on your follow-up exam and I hope your scan results will come back clean! Please let us know the good news when you get it!
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Exactly, lizginolizgino said:Anal Cancer AKA Farrah Fawcett Cancer
Pem,
I too had anal cancer which has nothing to do with HPV. I was diagnosed with the rare kind like you had. If people asked I would say "Farrah Fawcett" cancer...they would look at me and say ohhhhhh, so sorry! I did, however smoke (my last cig was on the way to see my doc when I was diagnosed, haven't touched one since!), and we have NO history of any cancer in our family. Also, I did have cervical cancer when I was young (not HPV related either)... who knows...and actually who cares? I was diagnosed with stage III, which was also in my rectum and pelvic and groin lymph nodes.
I have on occassion told people "colo-rectal cancer" because when I would say Anal, they would give me a blank stare, like I was from Mars...not understanding.
All in all we HAVE/HAD cancer. It doesn't matter where in your body it is...it is still cancer. I'm 10 months in remission now. I'm still cautious and am experience a huge amounts of side affects from radiation and chemo. Just had a check up 2 days ago..no evidence of anal cancer YAY!!!, but waiting on results of CAT Scan for rectal and lymph nodes.
I remember being diagnosed the DAY BEFORE MY 50TH and the doc telling me it was the same as Farrah Fawcett. In my mind I was freaking because I though "I'm dead" because she passed from it. My MD explained Farrah had it twice, the first time she was treated and went into remission. The second time she was told she would have to have a permanent colostomy. She didn't want to go that way, and sought alternative options in Germany, which failed, and by the time she returned to the US for treatment, it was too late.
DO NOT be ashamed or embarrassed by the type of cancer you have...EVER!!! Be proud that you are surviving!
I never experienced any embarrassment regarding where my cancer just happened to pop up and hope that those who are embarrassed can see that it's just another body part. Nose, boob, foot . . .butt.
In fact, I corrected my mother who announced to her church congregation on one of my visits that I was recovering nicely from colon cancer. Why?
It's important to me to break the silence and talk openly and comfortably about this disease to pave the way for more open discussion. . .and help put an end to the stigma for the benefit of future survivors. To me, we're prolonging any 'shame' and the stigma that can be associated with anal cancer by hiding it. (You will find that if you are comfortable with the topic, others will be too.) Am I the only one who feels this way???
And besides, I bet I was the first person to utter the word 'anal' in the sanctuary of the Wesley United Methodist Church.
Blessings to all,
Angela
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AngelaAngela_K said:Exactly, lizgino
I never experienced any embarrassment regarding where my cancer just happened to pop up and hope that those who are embarrassed can see that it's just another body part. Nose, boob, foot . . .butt.
In fact, I corrected my mother who announced to her church congregation on one of my visits that I was recovering nicely from colon cancer. Why?
It's important to me to break the silence and talk openly and comfortably about this disease to pave the way for more open discussion. . .and help put an end to the stigma for the benefit of future survivors. To me, we're prolonging any 'shame' and the stigma that can be associated with anal cancer by hiding it. (You will find that if you are comfortable with the topic, others will be too.) Am I the only one who feels this way???
And besides, I bet I was the first person to utter the word 'anal' in the sanctuary of the Wesley United Methodist Church.
Blessings to all,
Angela
I couldn't agree with you more. The longer we avoid talking about anal cancer, the more stigma that will be attached to it. We are proof that it can happen to anyone--ANYONE!
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yes analAngela_K said:Exactly, lizgino
I never experienced any embarrassment regarding where my cancer just happened to pop up and hope that those who are embarrassed can see that it's just another body part. Nose, boob, foot . . .butt.
In fact, I corrected my mother who announced to her church congregation on one of my visits that I was recovering nicely from colon cancer. Why?
It's important to me to break the silence and talk openly and comfortably about this disease to pave the way for more open discussion. . .and help put an end to the stigma for the benefit of future survivors. To me, we're prolonging any 'shame' and the stigma that can be associated with anal cancer by hiding it. (You will find that if you are comfortable with the topic, others will be too.) Am I the only one who feels this way???
And besides, I bet I was the first person to utter the word 'anal' in the sanctuary of the Wesley United Methodist Church.
Blessings to all,
Angela
i always say anal no matter who i am talking to....i do not care what they think and if they want more info i will answer any questions... i have sent about 8 women to my colorectal surgeon in another town who correctly diagnosed me after the proctolgist misdiagnosed me for almost a year..... ANAL ANAL ANAL..... everyone has to do what makes them feel comfortable..... in the very beginning i did refer it to Farrah's cancer but then said Anal cancer also......sephie
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The first thing the radiationsephie said:yes anal
i always say anal no matter who i am talking to....i do not care what they think and if they want more info i will answer any questions... i have sent about 8 women to my colorectal surgeon in another town who correctly diagnosed me after the proctolgist misdiagnosed me for almost a year..... ANAL ANAL ANAL..... everyone has to do what makes them feel comfortable..... in the very beginning i did refer it to Farrah's cancer but then said Anal cancer also......sephie
The first thing the radiation nurse at MDA had me do was repeat, and repeat, Anal cancer over and over, and then said ok, now let's get rid of it! LOL!
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