Hospitals, hospitals, and hospitals

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Lorikat
Lorikat Member Posts: 681 Member
I spent last week at the hospital in Dallas taking care of my daughter who had her Thyroid removed. Size of an avocado but NOT CANCER! Hallelujah!

Then got a call that my Mom had a major heart attack. Now at the hospital with Mom in New Mexico. Congestive heart failure output from left ventrical
Is only ten percent and should between sixty and seventy percent. And they want her to have round the clock care. I took care of her last night, bed pan, lifting, etc. woke up passing blood. Guess I pulled something or opened a fissure. Anyone else have that happen?

And HOW do I care for Mom if they send her home? Do we ever really get symptomless? I think I know the answer...... Guess I just needed to vent, soooo tired....
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  • mp327
    mp327 Member Posts: 4,440 Member
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    So sorry!
    Lorikat, you have your hands full! Can you get some help with your Mom once she goes home? I hpe you can work something out. Take good care of yourself. Prayers for your daughter, your mom and you!
  • torrance
    torrance Member Posts: 118
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    OMG
    VENT all you want. Your plate is full and I pray you find the help for your mom that you BOTH need. Remember, you are no good to your mom or daughter if you do not take care of yourself.

    Hugs to you!
    Joanne
  • Lorikat
    Lorikat Member Posts: 681 Member
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    mp327 said:

    So sorry!
    Lorikat, you have your hands full! Can you get some help with your Mom once she goes home? I hpe you can work something out. Take good care of yourself. Prayers for your daughter, your mom and you!

    Did not mention that my Mom
    Did not mention that my Mom has dementia and is soooo confused. God bless her.....
  • mp327
    mp327 Member Posts: 4,440 Member
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    Lorikat said:

    Did not mention that my Mom
    Did not mention that my Mom has dementia and is soooo confused. God bless her.....

    Lorikat
    I'm sorry to hear that your mom has dementia in addition to her other health issues. My mom has dementia also. It's a cruel disease. I know the difficulties in caring for someone like that.
  • mxperry220
    mxperry220 Member Posts: 493 Member
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    Nursing Home
    Your mom might benefit from in home healthcare or a nursing home. Medicare provides in home healthcare. It is not 24/7 but they have someone who can come in and bathe, fix meals and do light housekeeping as well as a visiting nuse. We tried this at first for our mom but eventually have had to move her to a nursing home. If you further injure yourself caring for your mom you might be of no use caring for her.

    Below is a Medicare link that might help you with your mom.

    http://www.medicare.gov/your-medicare-costs/costs-at-a-glance/costs-at-glance.html

    Mike
  • Lorikat
    Lorikat Member Posts: 681 Member
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    Nursing Home
    Your mom might benefit from in home healthcare or a nursing home. Medicare provides in home healthcare. It is not 24/7 but they have someone who can come in and bathe, fix meals and do light housekeeping as well as a visiting nuse. We tried this at first for our mom but eventually have had to move her to a nursing home. If you further injure yourself caring for your mom you might be of no use caring for her.

    Below is a Medicare link that might help you with your mom.

    http://www.medicare.gov/your-medicare-costs/costs-at-a-glance/costs-at-glance.html

    Mike

    Thank you Mike. We have
    Thank you Mike. We have decided that my Mom is going to have to go to skilled nursing and then if she's able, to assisted living. She is so angry and I catch the brunt because I am DAUGHTER! I appreciate hearing from others that been through this....

    One year scans coming up next month!
  • Lorikat
    Lorikat Member Posts: 681 Member
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    mp327 said:

    Lorikat
    I'm sorry to hear that your mom has dementia in addition to her other health issues. My mom has dementia also. It's a cruel disease. I know the difficulties in caring for someone like that.

    Dementia IS a cruel
    Dementia IS a cruel disease.. I have a long time lease on an ice floe in Alaska. If I feel myself slipping I am just gonna float out to sea. Hypothermia anyone?
  • sephie
    sephie Member Posts: 650 Member
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    stop
    you can NOT lift and pull. you will be of no good to anyone. do NOT feel badly for finding a place for mom. you have to heal and yes, i bled for any little thing that i did for a long time. be careful . hugs sephie
  • Lorikat
    Lorikat Member Posts: 681 Member
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    sephie said:

    stop
    you can NOT lift and pull. you will be of no good to anyone. do NOT feel badly for finding a place for mom. you have to heal and yes, i bled for any little thing that i did for a long time. be careful . hugs sephie

    Thank You Sephie.. That
    Thank You Sephie.. That felt like a hug....
  • mp327
    mp327 Member Posts: 4,440 Member
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    Lorikat said:

    Thank you Mike. We have
    Thank you Mike. We have decided that my Mom is going to have to go to skilled nursing and then if she's able, to assisted living. She is so angry and I catch the brunt because I am DAUGHTER! I appreciate hearing from others that been through this....

    One year scans coming up next month!

    Lorikat
    Please do not feel guilty about finding a nursing home for your mom. I had to put my mom in assisted living and it was very difficult for both of us. However, she adjusted quickly and seems quite content there, which is a relief to me. I live over 600 miles away, so it really was the only option for us. What I'm trying to say is that your mom may express anger at first, but once she has had time to adjust, things could smoothe out. I do hope that she will be able to go into assisted living at some point, as she will still have some sense of independence.
  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member
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    Hey Miss Kitty....
    We spent the first six-months this year becoming full time caregiver to my dad...he started falling and ended up in a hospital....refused all physical therapy...

    ...and then he went down like the Titantic.

    Dementia settled in as well as Sundowner's Syndrome....he had pneumonia and all sorts of respiratory issues that had us moving him to every hospital, to every ER in the city...and every ICU as well...and to several rehab facilities too.

    Other bodily functions ceased working and he couldn't walk...and he required full-time care, more of a convalescent situation than the assisted living thing.

    He subsequently passed away about three-months ago...left a litany of outstanding items and handles all of his affairs poorly...leaving me and my wife the biggest headache I've ever seen...am in the process of cleaning out a hoarder house full of junk, not nice things, just junk and clutter and filth.

    And working on probating his estate and jumping through all of those hoops...there's more to it than this, it has been so consuming, our lives became his overnight - and we are working so hard to remove the shroud and get everything handled - but it's a long and tiring process...and we both still work full-time...

    I know what you mean...

    Life seems to get harder as we get older...

    Take care and I feel a part of your angst:)

    -Craig
  • mp327
    mp327 Member Posts: 4,440 Member
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    Sundanceh said:

    Hey Miss Kitty....
    We spent the first six-months this year becoming full time caregiver to my dad...he started falling and ended up in a hospital....refused all physical therapy...

    ...and then he went down like the Titantic.

    Dementia settled in as well as Sundowner's Syndrome....he had pneumonia and all sorts of respiratory issues that had us moving him to every hospital, to every ER in the city...and every ICU as well...and to several rehab facilities too.

    Other bodily functions ceased working and he couldn't walk...and he required full-time care, more of a convalescent situation than the assisted living thing.

    He subsequently passed away about three-months ago...left a litany of outstanding items and handles all of his affairs poorly...leaving me and my wife the biggest headache I've ever seen...am in the process of cleaning out a hoarder house full of junk, not nice things, just junk and clutter and filth.

    And working on probating his estate and jumping through all of those hoops...there's more to it than this, it has been so consuming, our lives became his overnight - and we are working so hard to remove the shroud and get everything handled - but it's a long and tiring process...and we both still work full-time...

    I know what you mean...

    Life seems to get harder as we get older...

    Take care and I feel a part of your angst:)

    -Craig

    Hi Craig--
    All that you have gone through with your dad is heartbreaking. I'm sorry to hear he has passed and that you and your wife have been left with the huge task of cleaning up everything that he didn't handle while he was alive. I tried to get my mom to take care of some things before her dementia set in and she refused. Now she is unable to make any good decisions, so it is up to my brother and me. I am facing a house full of some junk that I am going to start cleaning out in the near future. What saddens me is that when I have tried to get my mom to talk about her final arrangements, she clams up. I, on the other hand, have already given my husband explicit instructions, should I go before him. I really think one way a parent can show true love for their child or children is to have things in order and their wishes all in writing for when the time comes. I'm sorry you have to deal with all of this.
  • ptom
    ptom Member Posts: 41 Member
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    Lorikat said:

    Thank you Mike. We have
    Thank you Mike. We have decided that my Mom is going to have to go to skilled nursing and then if she's able, to assisted living. She is so angry and I catch the brunt because I am DAUGHTER! I appreciate hearing from others that been through this....

    One year scans coming up next month!

    Skilled nursing facility
    Dear Lorikat,

    I usually post on the esophageal cancer site but for some reason was drawn to this site today. I'm currently surviving esophageal cancer and I'm also an 18 year survivor of Dukes Stage III colon cancer.

    About your mother - please be careful when choosing a nursing facility. My mother had Alzheimer's, had a slip and fall in the memory care facility and ended up with a hairline fracture of her pubic bone. When she left the hospital she was moved to a skilled nursing facility for physical therapy. Apparently they were too busy to care for her and loaded her up with several anti-psychotic medications - the ones with a Federal Government Black Box warning that those meds are NOT to be used in patients with dementia. Of course no one bothered to call me and ask my permission before prescribing the drugs. Within a week she was curled into a fetal position sucking on her hands. Within two months she had passed away due to side effect from the unauthorized drugs.

    I don't mean to scare you as I'm sure there are excellent skilled nursing facilities out there but please do your homework regarding nurse to patient ratios and be sure everyone there knows they must have your permission before any drugs are administered.

    Please take care of yourself so you can take care of your mother. She is lucky to have you...even though she doesn't know it.

    ptom
  • mxperry220
    mxperry220 Member Posts: 493 Member
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    Lorikat said:

    Thank you Mike. We have
    Thank you Mike. We have decided that my Mom is going to have to go to skilled nursing and then if she's able, to assisted living. She is so angry and I catch the brunt because I am DAUGHTER! I appreciate hearing from others that been through this....

    One year scans coming up next month!

    I Know What You Mean
    I was the primary one who took care of my mom's needs of us four children. Mother was very angry with me for about 1 1/2 years then she realized she was where she should be for her own safety. It was one of the hardest things for me to handle knowing my mother is in a nursing home 125 miles away. She refuses to move closer to us kids because she has lived in our hometown since she was 14. fortunately I have one brother in our hometown to help out with mother. She has been in the same nursing home for 9 years now and has adjusted well. Try not to take your mom's anger personally. She is probably upset that she realizes she has no other choice other than a nursing home.
  • Lorikat
    Lorikat Member Posts: 681 Member
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    ptom said:

    Skilled nursing facility
    Dear Lorikat,

    I usually post on the esophageal cancer site but for some reason was drawn to this site today. I'm currently surviving esophageal cancer and I'm also an 18 year survivor of Dukes Stage III colon cancer.

    About your mother - please be careful when choosing a nursing facility. My mother had Alzheimer's, had a slip and fall in the memory care facility and ended up with a hairline fracture of her pubic bone. When she left the hospital she was moved to a skilled nursing facility for physical therapy. Apparently they were too busy to care for her and loaded her up with several anti-psychotic medications - the ones with a Federal Government Black Box warning that those meds are NOT to be used in patients with dementia. Of course no one bothered to call me and ask my permission before prescribing the drugs. Within a week she was curled into a fetal position sucking on her hands. Within two months she had passed away due to side effect from the unauthorized drugs.

    I don't mean to scare you as I'm sure there are excellent skilled nursing facilities out there but please do your homework regarding nurse to patient ratios and be sure everyone there knows they must have your permission before any drugs are administered.

    Please take care of yourself so you can take care of your mother. She is lucky to have you...even though she doesn't know it.

    ptom

    ptom
    Thanks for the info... Have been checking just that these last few days. Scary decisions .. Did not think about the meds though. Moms a bit demanding.... I will make sure they don't give her extra meds...
  • Lorikat
    Lorikat Member Posts: 681 Member
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    Sundanceh said:

    Hey Miss Kitty....
    We spent the first six-months this year becoming full time caregiver to my dad...he started falling and ended up in a hospital....refused all physical therapy...

    ...and then he went down like the Titantic.

    Dementia settled in as well as Sundowner's Syndrome....he had pneumonia and all sorts of respiratory issues that had us moving him to every hospital, to every ER in the city...and every ICU as well...and to several rehab facilities too.

    Other bodily functions ceased working and he couldn't walk...and he required full-time care, more of a convalescent situation than the assisted living thing.

    He subsequently passed away about three-months ago...left a litany of outstanding items and handles all of his affairs poorly...leaving me and my wife the biggest headache I've ever seen...am in the process of cleaning out a hoarder house full of junk, not nice things, just junk and clutter and filth.

    And working on probating his estate and jumping through all of those hoops...there's more to it than this, it has been so consuming, our lives became his overnight - and we are working so hard to remove the shroud and get everything handled - but it's a long and tiring process...and we both still work full-time...

    I know what you mean...

    Life seems to get harder as we get older...

    Take care and I feel a part of your angst:)

    -Craig

    Craig..
    "LORD LOVE A DUCK", as my Grandmother used to say! I jumped through those same legal hoops when my Dad passed five years ago. Fortunately my Dad had no dementia and was basically independent to the end. HOWEVER he was secretive as a lot of depression era people so figuring things out was a big puzzle some times. (he did hoard coffee cans though!! )

    Sorry things are so difficult for you. I too have made my preferences known and lined up all my affairs as carefully as possible so not to put more on my families shoulders. Just remember your Dads belongings are just things where you and your family have hearts and souls to be treasured. I pulled out what I thought were worth keeping for whatever reason and called a family who make there living at the flea market and let them finish clearing out his storage areas. I haven't missed a thing though I am sure my Dad is shaking his fist at me for being callus! Oh well.....

    My Mom with her dementia and not wanting to be alive is emotionally as well as physically taxing. She and my Dad divorced many years ago and her life was not easy.... I always feel as though I should make it up to her somehow...... ? Go figure. Lorikat
  • AZANNIE
    AZANNIE Member Posts: 445 Member
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    Lorikat
    Sorry you have to deal with this - when it rains it pours... my Mom always says, "this too shall pass" and hope this is the case for you. Good luck with your one year scans. I'm a few months ahead of you. Wishing you NED!!!


    Ann
  • sandysp
    sandysp Member Posts: 868 Member
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    Take care of YOUR precious self . . .
    Dear heart . . . Please go easy on yourself. I find I bleed too every time I am under more stress. I think it's because my system gets more acidic and it just burns me all the way through, but who knows?

    Please don't take anything on you can delegate. Your Mom's dementia will continue to surface as anger toward you. You just don't need that, never did, never will.

    You and your Mom are in my prayers.

    Fondly,
    Sandy
  • Lorikat
    Lorikat Member Posts: 681 Member
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    sandysp said:

    Take care of YOUR precious self . . .
    Dear heart . . . Please go easy on yourself. I find I bleed too every time I am under more stress. I think it's because my system gets more acidic and it just burns me all the way through, but who knows?

    Please don't take anything on you can delegate. Your Mom's dementia will continue to surface as anger toward you. You just don't need that, never did, never will.

    You and your Mom are in my prayers.

    Fondly,
    Sandy

    Thank you so much.
    Thank you so much. Reaffirmation is always needed in this situation....
  • cap630
    cap630 Member Posts: 151 Member
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    I understand
    Sorry to hear you are going through a tough time. We had to place my mother in a skilled nursing home. It is a very hard decision to make, but I was not physically strong enough to take care of her. My father have been in and out of the hosptial as well all summer. It has gotten to the point when I go for a test I am giving my father's birthdate. 5/23/1926 - the women looked at me and said "I don't think so" - that is when I said to myself - you need to take care of you again. Maybe someday it will happen. Good luck. ~Carol