How do you live like this

scareddaughter24

scared99 said:

GWJ, Me and my brother were
GWJ, Me and my brother were just in the same situation you are in at the moment. I was planning my wedding, my mom was so happy and excited to go dress shopping with my fiancee and then bam she was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer.

I shut down for about a month. I lost interest in all my hobbies and stopped eating. While at work I would look on the internet for hours on end about cancer stats. I lost 30 pounds from the stress and honestly started to get some gray hairs on my head.

I think after the shock of the cancer diagnosis fades away you begin to live a new life. Your life before cancer is gone. I now treat every day as a blessing and find encouragement in every great post on this board.

I will put some things in perspective for you. I had numerous relatives with colon cancer. Most of them have had the disease caught in the early stages. They are doing just fine many years after their surgery and treatments. My mom was the only one to have it diagnosed at stage 4.

Your mom may have caught the cancer early enough for a cure. You just need to take things one moment at a time until you and your family know for sure. If it is a stage 3 or stage 4 cancer, it is not the end of the world either. If you look through this board you will see many people leading wonderful lives and treating their cancer as a chronic condition.

I will leave you with this advice. One of the most inspirational men I have ever had the pleasure of knowing has been battling stage 4 cancer since 1988 !!!!! 1988 !!! that is right... when he was first diagnosed he sunk into a great depression and hated life. He thought about death constantly. After many months of self loathing and depression he realized something. In reality we are all dying !! No one gets out of this world alive. I may get run over by a bus tomorrow and leave this world before my mom does... we just do not know. He began to live his life one day at a time. When cancer reared its ugly head he went for treatments and beat it back into remission 5 times !!! The doctors told him in 1988 that he may have a few years left. 24 years he has lived a full life, he has had several children and now is about to become a grandfather. If you would have told him in 1988 that he would be still walking around in 2012 he would have called you crazy. So everyone in your family needs to continue to live your life and not let this ugly SOB of a disease live your life for you.... your mom included.

Wow! awesome story about the
Wow! awesome story about the man you know.
I also have found myself lately repeating what you said about everyone is dying and we may leave this world before our parents.. we just dont know. I also have to remind myself that yes the stats arent great but our parents may walk out and be hit by bus, have a heartattack tomorrow or something similar...once we realise we must continue with our lives for their sakes our lives become somewhat easier.

It is not easy to live with, it is never far from our minds.. in fact im sure it consumes 80percent of my thoughts everyday!!

I sometimes find it hard to go and see my mum because i feel sad or bad but once i am there its ok and she is still my mum / the same persons shes always been.

Cancer...yes even stage 4 is being treated more and more like a chronic illness and i think ithis is wonderful!!

Lets stick together team and get through these days when we loose faith/feel bad or just need a little reassurance.

Much love
C

scareddaughter24

here4lfe said:

Because you have to
Learn all you can, your mom is an individual, so make sure she gets the support she needs to get well.

Best

Wow! awesome story about the
Wow! awesome story about the man you know.
I also have found myself lately repeating what you said about everyone is dying and we may leave this world before our parents.. we just dont know. I also have to remind myself that yes the stats arent great but our parents may walk out and be hit by bus, have a heartattack tomorrow or something similar...once we realise we must continue with our lives for their sakes our lives become somewhat easier.

It is not easy to live with, it is never far from our minds.. in fact im sure it consumes 80percent of my thoughts everyday!!

I sometimes find it hard to go and see my mum because i feel sad or bad but once i am there its ok and she is still my mum / the same persons shes always been.

Cancer...yes even stage 4 is being treated more and more like a chronic illness and i think ithis is wonderful!!

Lets stick together team and get through these days when we loose faith/feel bad or just need a little reassurance.

Much love
C