New to Kidney Cancer - dealing with new emotions
Comments
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Good catch Texas_WedgeTexas_wedge said:BP
Just a thought - you've experienced wild fluctuations in BP during this year - 198/103 in February and now around 95/60; do you know what causes this? Even young as you are, a pulse pressure of almost 100 was pretty scary! Your figures now are maybe a shade low? With that much variation it doesn't surprise me that you feel a bit lacking in control at times.
Your op will be plain sailing and you should, as Gary says, be well up for that trip in October. You're going to be fine.
You are a detailed person, Texas_Wedge. Yes my BP did hit a high of 198/103 last February and took 6 weeks to come close to a normal range at 140/90. Then I had a blackout and my BP hit a low of 80/53 and remained in the low range for 6-7 weeks. It is the BP issues that got me to a cardiologist and internist and eventually an ultrasound, CT scan and ultimately ended up here on a new roller coaster. BP is low but the most stable and normal that it has been since Feb. The only abnormality that they have found in the Tumours in the kidney and cysts in the liver. A series of tests all showed healthy (expect for the weigh scales).
Oh by the way thanks for the compliment of being young:)
I feel like I went from feeling like 30 to feeling like 50+ in the last few months. The control thing again:)
I look forward to the op...I just need to vent at the frustration of no date, and waiting, I guess.0 -
Some tips
I am a Stage 4 RCC (clear cell) guy, age 61. I am also working at several jobs, and I am the only person in my whole place of work who can do 40 pushups; and I have mets in my lungs! I also agree that the emotional side is the toughest part of coping.
Here are some thoughts.
The first few weeks after discovering the problem are the toughest. Trust me, it then gets easier. The scariest part is the word "cancer." Then after a few weeks, you realize it is just a word. And you realize that there is life after contracting cancer.
Some tips:
As soon as you can, return to work or some other form of occupation and fill your time. Staring at the walls makes the disease a hundred times worse. Staying busy also takes your attention away from any physical discomforts you have.
Exercise, mildly. Keep your muscle tone good. Fitness not only improves your mood but may make your body better capable of coping.
I find it comforting to have my "affairs," including "financial affairs," in order. Then I have one less set of issues to worry about and can concentrate on other things. Do it NOT because you expect to drop dead any time soon but to feel more confident that this set of issues is under control and your dependents are cared for. Then get on with better things!
Cancer sucks, but there are so many other worse things in the world. I take comfort in remembering that I prefer cancer a hundred times over anything bad happening to my children. Maybe it is just me, but I find that remembering how many worse things there can be in life is strangely comforting. Consider helping out someone in worse condition or worse circumstances than youself! Trust me, there is no shortage.
Laugh. Joke. Especially about cancer. Laughter releases good hormones and helps you keep perspective. Watch funny movies.
Spill your guts, if not to friends or family then to your internet pen pals.
If you are so of a mind, pray. Converse with the Big Fella upstairs. It has been proven scientifically that it does not hurt.
Do things you get pleasure from doing, including all those things you never found time to do. Take banjo lessons, read all the plays of Shakespeare, learn line dancing, re-watch your favorite TV show from the 60s, take up pottery. How about that trip to Paris you always planned? Spend a few days and contemplate seriously what gives you pleasure, what you like doing, and then do those things.
If you sit around depressed and moping, you are letting the disease defeat you and you are losing part of the life you have been granted. Life for everyone is over all too soon so why waste the time one has on moping?
Remember that the science and technology are improving so rapidly that every week there are new developments and treatments and technology. You just need one of these to be right for you!
Start to write out your memories and memoirs. Write down anecdotes from your life, especially funny ones.
Take naps during the day.
I once saw an interview with "Mister T," you know - the giant boxer actor who played the character "BA" on the A Team show. He was describing his own battle with cancer (I think lymphoma). Watching that had an incredible effect on me. I sat there and said, Hey if this disease can even afflict Mister T, and he is battling it, then who the hell am I to give up??!!
Consider all the people who died during their teens, twenties and thirties and then consider the fact that you have been granted a long valuable life that is not over yet, one far exceeding what so many others were allowed by providence to enjoy. Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, feel sorry for them and celebrate the fact that you have out-lasted them. (I am not suggesting Schadenfreude but genuine gratitude.) Make a list of world famous people who did not last as long as you already have!
Hope some of that helps!0 -
WOW!!Eliezer2 said:Some tips
I am a Stage 4 RCC (clear cell) guy, age 61. I am also working at several jobs, and I am the only person in my whole place of work who can do 40 pushups; and I have mets in my lungs! I also agree that the emotional side is the toughest part of coping.
Here are some thoughts.
The first few weeks after discovering the problem are the toughest. Trust me, it then gets easier. The scariest part is the word "cancer." Then after a few weeks, you realize it is just a word. And you realize that there is life after contracting cancer.
Some tips:
As soon as you can, return to work or some other form of occupation and fill your time. Staring at the walls makes the disease a hundred times worse. Staying busy also takes your attention away from any physical discomforts you have.
Exercise, mildly. Keep your muscle tone good. Fitness not only improves your mood but may make your body better capable of coping.
I find it comforting to have my "affairs," including "financial affairs," in order. Then I have one less set of issues to worry about and can concentrate on other things. Do it NOT because you expect to drop dead any time soon but to feel more confident that this set of issues is under control and your dependents are cared for. Then get on with better things!
Cancer sucks, but there are so many other worse things in the world. I take comfort in remembering that I prefer cancer a hundred times over anything bad happening to my children. Maybe it is just me, but I find that remembering how many worse things there can be in life is strangely comforting. Consider helping out someone in worse condition or worse circumstances than youself! Trust me, there is no shortage.
Laugh. Joke. Especially about cancer. Laughter releases good hormones and helps you keep perspective. Watch funny movies.
Spill your guts, if not to friends or family then to your internet pen pals.
If you are so of a mind, pray. Converse with the Big Fella upstairs. It has been proven scientifically that it does not hurt.
Do things you get pleasure from doing, including all those things you never found time to do. Take banjo lessons, read all the plays of Shakespeare, learn line dancing, re-watch your favorite TV show from the 60s, take up pottery. How about that trip to Paris you always planned? Spend a few days and contemplate seriously what gives you pleasure, what you like doing, and then do those things.
If you sit around depressed and moping, you are letting the disease defeat you and you are losing part of the life you have been granted. Life for everyone is over all too soon so why waste the time one has on moping?
Remember that the science and technology are improving so rapidly that every week there are new developments and treatments and technology. You just need one of these to be right for you!
Start to write out your memories and memoirs. Write down anecdotes from your life, especially funny ones.
Take naps during the day.
I once saw an interview with "Mister T," you know - the giant boxer actor who played the character "BA" on the A Team show. He was describing his own battle with cancer (I think lymphoma). Watching that had an incredible effect on me. I sat there and said, Hey if this disease can even afflict Mister T, and he is battling it, then who the hell am I to give up??!!
Consider all the people who died during their teens, twenties and thirties and then consider the fact that you have been granted a long valuable life that is not over yet, one far exceeding what so many others were allowed by providence to enjoy. Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, feel sorry for them and celebrate the fact that you have out-lasted them. (I am not suggesting Schadenfreude but genuine gratitude.) Make a list of world famous people who did not last as long as you already have!
Hope some of that helps!
Hi Eliezer,
What a great attitude you have developed and shared, I am an instant fan. I too am 61, nearly 3 yrs post op and NED since, I whole heartedly agree with all you have said adding only that where cancer is concerned, "ATTACK WITH EXTREME PREJUDICE." May I ask what treatment options you are considering or undergoing for the lung mets? I would also like to suggest that you check into Gerald White's MAARS program as I believe it would suit you well. Your insight and approach would also be beneficial to the many newbies that show up here dazed by the whole "You have cancer" process so don't be afraid to hang around and share. Welcome to the club!
Rock on,
Gary0 -
Not so suregarym said:WOW!!
Hi Eliezer,
What a great attitude you have developed and shared, I am an instant fan. I too am 61, nearly 3 yrs post op and NED since, I whole heartedly agree with all you have said adding only that where cancer is concerned, "ATTACK WITH EXTREME PREJUDICE." May I ask what treatment options you are considering or undergoing for the lung mets? I would also like to suggest that you check into Gerald White's MAARS program as I believe it would suit you well. Your insight and approach would also be beneficial to the many newbies that show up here dazed by the whole "You have cancer" process so don't be afraid to hang around and share. Welcome to the club!
Rock on,
Gary
.....I don't know, Gary. Eliezer2 didn't say he rides a motorcycle....Do you think we can trust him?....Great attitude Eliezer2. You'll fit right in on this forum. Keep posting.
Fox.0 -
TipsEliezer2 said:Some tips
I am a Stage 4 RCC (clear cell) guy, age 61. I am also working at several jobs, and I am the only person in my whole place of work who can do 40 pushups; and I have mets in my lungs! I also agree that the emotional side is the toughest part of coping.
Here are some thoughts.
The first few weeks after discovering the problem are the toughest. Trust me, it then gets easier. The scariest part is the word "cancer." Then after a few weeks, you realize it is just a word. And you realize that there is life after contracting cancer.
Some tips:
As soon as you can, return to work or some other form of occupation and fill your time. Staring at the walls makes the disease a hundred times worse. Staying busy also takes your attention away from any physical discomforts you have.
Exercise, mildly. Keep your muscle tone good. Fitness not only improves your mood but may make your body better capable of coping.
I find it comforting to have my "affairs," including "financial affairs," in order. Then I have one less set of issues to worry about and can concentrate on other things. Do it NOT because you expect to drop dead any time soon but to feel more confident that this set of issues is under control and your dependents are cared for. Then get on with better things!
Cancer sucks, but there are so many other worse things in the world. I take comfort in remembering that I prefer cancer a hundred times over anything bad happening to my children. Maybe it is just me, but I find that remembering how many worse things there can be in life is strangely comforting. Consider helping out someone in worse condition or worse circumstances than youself! Trust me, there is no shortage.
Laugh. Joke. Especially about cancer. Laughter releases good hormones and helps you keep perspective. Watch funny movies.
Spill your guts, if not to friends or family then to your internet pen pals.
If you are so of a mind, pray. Converse with the Big Fella upstairs. It has been proven scientifically that it does not hurt.
Do things you get pleasure from doing, including all those things you never found time to do. Take banjo lessons, read all the plays of Shakespeare, learn line dancing, re-watch your favorite TV show from the 60s, take up pottery. How about that trip to Paris you always planned? Spend a few days and contemplate seriously what gives you pleasure, what you like doing, and then do those things.
If you sit around depressed and moping, you are letting the disease defeat you and you are losing part of the life you have been granted. Life for everyone is over all too soon so why waste the time one has on moping?
Remember that the science and technology are improving so rapidly that every week there are new developments and treatments and technology. You just need one of these to be right for you!
Start to write out your memories and memoirs. Write down anecdotes from your life, especially funny ones.
Take naps during the day.
I once saw an interview with "Mister T," you know - the giant boxer actor who played the character "BA" on the A Team show. He was describing his own battle with cancer (I think lymphoma). Watching that had an incredible effect on me. I sat there and said, Hey if this disease can even afflict Mister T, and he is battling it, then who the hell am I to give up??!!
Consider all the people who died during their teens, twenties and thirties and then consider the fact that you have been granted a long valuable life that is not over yet, one far exceeding what so many others were allowed by providence to enjoy. Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, feel sorry for them and celebrate the fact that you have out-lasted them. (I am not suggesting Schadenfreude but genuine gratitude.) Make a list of world famous people who did not last as long as you already have!
Hope some of that helps!
Nice list! Let me ditto Gary's and Fox's comments/questions and welcome. We can never have too much optimism here and you sound like a strong dose. Glad you found us!0 -
Treatmentsgarym said:WOW!!
Hi Eliezer,
What a great attitude you have developed and shared, I am an instant fan. I too am 61, nearly 3 yrs post op and NED since, I whole heartedly agree with all you have said adding only that where cancer is concerned, "ATTACK WITH EXTREME PREJUDICE." May I ask what treatment options you are considering or undergoing for the lung mets? I would also like to suggest that you check into Gerald White's MAARS program as I believe it would suit you well. Your insight and approach would also be beneficial to the many newbies that show up here dazed by the whole "You have cancer" process so don't be afraid to hang around and share. Welcome to the club!
Rock on,
Gary
Alas, no motorcycle. Got some great bathtub toys though!
I am on 50mg of Sutent, for about 16 months. Seems to be keeping the nasties in my lungs stable, at least for now. Lots and lots of side effects, as I assume you know about if you have chatted with Sutent takers.
Got too many things to concern myself with to sit around and worry what the future holds.
By the way, I think it is the duty of all cancer patients to make their doctors and the treatment staff laugh. Whenever I get an ECG, I always ask the (invariably young women) technicians if the machine can show if I am in love. It always seems to get them to laugh!0 -
TreatmentsEliezer2 said:Treatments
Alas, no motorcycle. Got some great bathtub toys though!
I am on 50mg of Sutent, for about 16 months. Seems to be keeping the nasties in my lungs stable, at least for now. Lots and lots of side effects, as I assume you know about if you have chatted with Sutent takers.
Got too many things to concern myself with to sit around and worry what the future holds.
By the way, I think it is the duty of all cancer patients to make their doctors and the treatment staff laugh. Whenever I get an ECG, I always ask the (invariably young women) technicians if the machine can show if I am in love. It always seems to get them to laugh!
[With your name, you're bound to be a great source of help here!]
In your post above, you said:
"I think it is the duty of all cancer patients to make their doctors and the treatment staff laugh."
Unfortunately we don't always pull it off. After a second op for a recurrence, back in March, I posted this:
"I was last on the list yesterday. I managed to be absolutely deadpan when two nurses asked me how it was going after my op and I said "can you tell me when my op is scheduled to take place?" each replied triumphantly that it had already happened! Today one of them remarked how cogent I am today compared with yesterday when I hadn't known my op had already taken place; I had to explain that that had been an attempt at humour on my part!"
The boot was on the other foot at a pre-op session. I remarked that my BP was higher than I expected and the nurse remarked that it might be down to her. Unfortunately I was a bit slow on the uptake and hastily assured her that I was confident she was doing her job properly - only later did I realise how naive I'd been and how ungallant I must have appeared.
A little more successful in raising a smile was when I enjoined a lady member here, who was advocating being one's own advocate, that she didn't need to tell Fox to "stay on top of the nurses".
I hope you'll approve of the thread started by one of our lynchpins here and that you'll add to Gary's "Friday Funnies".0 -
One man's toys...Eliezer2 said:Treatments
Alas, no motorcycle. Got some great bathtub toys though!
I am on 50mg of Sutent, for about 16 months. Seems to be keeping the nasties in my lungs stable, at least for now. Lots and lots of side effects, as I assume you know about if you have chatted with Sutent takers.
Got too many things to concern myself with to sit around and worry what the future holds.
By the way, I think it is the duty of all cancer patients to make their doctors and the treatment staff laugh. Whenever I get an ECG, I always ask the (invariably young women) technicians if the machine can show if I am in love. It always seems to get them to laugh!
The iceman's picture included a couple interesting bath toys a while back, perhaps he could be persuaded to bring it back so you guys could compare.
When they wheeled me into the OR I asked them to double check that it was my left leg they were taking and not the right, they laughed and the anesthesiologist asked if somebody had started his job early. Laughing is the last thing I remember that day.0 -
laughsalice124 said:Tips
Nice list! Let me ditto Gary's and Fox's comments/questions and welcome. We can never have too much optimism here and you sound like a strong dose. Glad you found us!
Jokes? Us? Talking about surgery, when I had had my embolization of my kidney prior to going in for the removal, I had 2 male OR techs or nurses. My arms are running IV's. Their hands are in gloves and are attempting to remain "clean." I was alert and in considerable pain. They could not give me anything more until I was put out. I am appearing in some distress. One of them introduces himself and says that he would shake my hand but he can't. I told him that was OK. In front of a half dozen people I said to him," Just come over here and give me a kiss." Embarrassed him pretty good. Minutes before what could have been the last minutes of my life, I'm busting some guys balls.0 -
laughsfoxhd said:laughs
Jokes? Us? Talking about surgery, when I had had my embolization of my kidney prior to going in for the removal, I had 2 male OR techs or nurses. My arms are running IV's. Their hands are in gloves and are attempting to remain "clean." I was alert and in considerable pain. They could not give me anything more until I was put out. I am appearing in some distress. One of them introduces himself and says that he would shake my hand but he can't. I told him that was OK. In front of a half dozen people I said to him," Just come over here and give me a kiss." Embarrassed him pretty good. Minutes before what could have been the last minutes of my life, I'm busting some guys balls.
YOU could have died? I bet he could have died!! LOL0 -
Jokesfoxhd said:laughs
Jokes? Us? Talking about surgery, when I had had my embolization of my kidney prior to going in for the removal, I had 2 male OR techs or nurses. My arms are running IV's. Their hands are in gloves and are attempting to remain "clean." I was alert and in considerable pain. They could not give me anything more until I was put out. I am appearing in some distress. One of them introduces himself and says that he would shake my hand but he can't. I told him that was OK. In front of a half dozen people I said to him," Just come over here and give me a kiss." Embarrassed him pretty good. Minutes before what could have been the last minutes of my life, I'm busting some guys balls.
When I came out of the anestesia after having my kidney and giblets extracted (by the way, that was 12.5 years ago), with the docs and nurses crowding about my wife runs over with alarm in her face until I say in front of everyone, "Not tonight dear I have a headache."
That was when she understood I had pulled through0 -
JokesEliezer2 said:Jokes
When I came out of the anestesia after having my kidney and giblets extracted (by the way, that was 12.5 years ago), with the docs and nurses crowding about my wife runs over with alarm in her face until I say in front of everyone, "Not tonight dear I have a headache."
That was when she understood I had pulled through
You've passed the entry test here with flying colours!!0 -
Laughter IS the best medicine...Eliezer2 said:Jokes
When I came out of the anestesia after having my kidney and giblets extracted (by the way, that was 12.5 years ago), with the docs and nurses crowding about my wife runs over with alarm in her face until I say in front of everyone, "Not tonight dear I have a headache."
That was when she understood I had pulled through
Five days after surgery when the doc came in with my pathology report and gave my wife and I the good news, she burst into tears. I turned to her calmly and said "Naa, naa, I told you so!", then I turned to the doc and told him she was hoping for bad news, the tension in the room disappeared instantly and we all had a good laugh.0 -
best medicinegarym said:Laughter IS the best medicine...
Five days after surgery when the doc came in with my pathology report and gave my wife and I the good news, she burst into tears. I turned to her calmly and said "Naa, naa, I told you so!", then I turned to the doc and told him she was hoping for bad news, the tension in the room disappeared instantly and we all had a good laugh.
In case you hadn't noticed Eliezer, we specialise in gallows humour here and Gary is a leading exponent.0 -
One more hospital jokeTexas_wedge said:best medicine
In case you hadn't noticed Eliezer, we specialise in gallows humour here and Gary is a leading exponent.
This is not exactly cancer-related but I thought I would introduce y'all to Jewish humor.
A married man wants to "trick" his wife into having relations with him more often. So he recruits his MD friend. He asks his MD to tell his wife that her husband has contracted a rare disease and the only known cure for it is that she has to have relations with him twice a day. Otherwise he will die.
So he then brings his wife in for a consultancy with the MD and the doc takes the wife into the office and relays the "medical" news, that her husband will die if she does not have relations with him twice a day.
She comes out and the husband asks her, "Nu, so what did the doctor tell you?"
She replies, "He says you are going to die."0 -
errorTexas_wedge said:best medicine
In case you hadn't noticed Eliezer, we specialise in gallows humour here and Gary is a leading exponent.
..0 -
WelcomeEliezer2 said:Some tips
I am a Stage 4 RCC (clear cell) guy, age 61. I am also working at several jobs, and I am the only person in my whole place of work who can do 40 pushups; and I have mets in my lungs! I also agree that the emotional side is the toughest part of coping.
Here are some thoughts.
The first few weeks after discovering the problem are the toughest. Trust me, it then gets easier. The scariest part is the word "cancer." Then after a few weeks, you realize it is just a word. And you realize that there is life after contracting cancer.
Some tips:
As soon as you can, return to work or some other form of occupation and fill your time. Staring at the walls makes the disease a hundred times worse. Staying busy also takes your attention away from any physical discomforts you have.
Exercise, mildly. Keep your muscle tone good. Fitness not only improves your mood but may make your body better capable of coping.
I find it comforting to have my "affairs," including "financial affairs," in order. Then I have one less set of issues to worry about and can concentrate on other things. Do it NOT because you expect to drop dead any time soon but to feel more confident that this set of issues is under control and your dependents are cared for. Then get on with better things!
Cancer sucks, but there are so many other worse things in the world. I take comfort in remembering that I prefer cancer a hundred times over anything bad happening to my children. Maybe it is just me, but I find that remembering how many worse things there can be in life is strangely comforting. Consider helping out someone in worse condition or worse circumstances than youself! Trust me, there is no shortage.
Laugh. Joke. Especially about cancer. Laughter releases good hormones and helps you keep perspective. Watch funny movies.
Spill your guts, if not to friends or family then to your internet pen pals.
If you are so of a mind, pray. Converse with the Big Fella upstairs. It has been proven scientifically that it does not hurt.
Do things you get pleasure from doing, including all those things you never found time to do. Take banjo lessons, read all the plays of Shakespeare, learn line dancing, re-watch your favorite TV show from the 60s, take up pottery. How about that trip to Paris you always planned? Spend a few days and contemplate seriously what gives you pleasure, what you like doing, and then do those things.
If you sit around depressed and moping, you are letting the disease defeat you and you are losing part of the life you have been granted. Life for everyone is over all too soon so why waste the time one has on moping?
Remember that the science and technology are improving so rapidly that every week there are new developments and treatments and technology. You just need one of these to be right for you!
Start to write out your memories and memoirs. Write down anecdotes from your life, especially funny ones.
Take naps during the day.
I once saw an interview with "Mister T," you know - the giant boxer actor who played the character "BA" on the A Team show. He was describing his own battle with cancer (I think lymphoma). Watching that had an incredible effect on me. I sat there and said, Hey if this disease can even afflict Mister T, and he is battling it, then who the hell am I to give up??!!
Consider all the people who died during their teens, twenties and thirties and then consider the fact that you have been granted a long valuable life that is not over yet, one far exceeding what so many others were allowed by providence to enjoy. Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, feel sorry for them and celebrate the fact that you have out-lasted them. (I am not suggesting Schadenfreude but genuine gratitude.) Make a list of world famous people who did not last as long as you already have!
Hope some of that helps!
Eliezer2,
I am amazed at the wonderful people I continue to meet/come in contact with because of cancer and this forum. Welcome!
--David0 -
NuEliezer2 said:One more hospital joke
This is not exactly cancer-related but I thought I would introduce y'all to Jewish humor.
A married man wants to "trick" his wife into having relations with him more often. So he recruits his MD friend. He asks his MD to tell his wife that her husband has contracted a rare disease and the only known cure for it is that she has to have relations with him twice a day. Otherwise he will die.
So he then brings his wife in for a consultancy with the MD and the doc takes the wife into the office and relays the "medical" news, that her husband will die if she does not have relations with him twice a day.
She comes out and the husband asks her, "Nu, so what did the doctor tell you?"
She replies, "He says you are going to die."
A good one but I think you may find a few of us here don't need an introduction to Jewish humour. However, it's the richest vein, so keep 'em coming.0 -
Oy....Texas_wedge said:Nu
A good one but I think you may find a few of us here don't need an introduction to Jewish humour. However, it's the richest vein, so keep 'em coming.0
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