newly diagnosed
Comments
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Hello Audra--
Sorry you have to be here, but you'll find mountains of support on this board. I don't know where you're at, but when I was going to radiation; the center where I was had a nice lady who goes around to all the new recruits to see what their needs were. Did I need a counselor, did my husband need a counselor, she gave me info on special days at the center for seminars, luncheons etc.Being that she was sort of a liaison of different things.If I needed any of those aforementioned things she would have been the person I would have asked. Perhaps your team(surgeon,oncologist,radiation doc)can help you with some of those issues or direct you to someone.How much help you actually may need depends on you and how you react/handle the chemo/radiation.It will be a difficult journey but ---and I KNOW this is hard--try to stay upbeat and positive. Don't ever stop asking questions.
And use this board.These ladies are wonderful.0 -
Is there..starseed said:Hello Audra--
Sorry you have to be here, but you'll find mountains of support on this board. I don't know where you're at, but when I was going to radiation; the center where I was had a nice lady who goes around to all the new recruits to see what their needs were. Did I need a counselor, did my husband need a counselor, she gave me info on special days at the center for seminars, luncheons etc.Being that she was sort of a liaison of different things.If I needed any of those aforementioned things she would have been the person I would have asked. Perhaps your team(surgeon,oncologist,radiation doc)can help you with some of those issues or direct you to someone.How much help you actually may need depends on you and how you react/handle the chemo/radiation.It will be a difficult journey but ---and I KNOW this is hard--try to stay upbeat and positive. Don't ever stop asking questions.
And use this board.These ladies are wonderful.
Do you have any other family in the area? How about your church...? I know, it's been my experience, that the women in the church usually will step up to the plate and do what ever needs you may have.....I can't speak about a double mastectomy, I had a lumpectomy, but from the women on this board, that you will need help at home for a couple of weeks...I'm sure some will help guide you...you will need someone to drive you to and from chemo..as for the radiation you should be able to drive yourself
I'm sorry you need us but you've found the perfect group of women to share their personal experiences and offer you any help, answer questions, give encouragement and support every step of the way....but remember we're all different....
Keep posting, we care
Hugs, Nancy0 -
Is there..starseed said:Hello Audra--
Sorry you have to be here, but you'll find mountains of support on this board. I don't know where you're at, but when I was going to radiation; the center where I was had a nice lady who goes around to all the new recruits to see what their needs were. Did I need a counselor, did my husband need a counselor, she gave me info on special days at the center for seminars, luncheons etc.Being that she was sort of a liaison of different things.If I needed any of those aforementioned things she would have been the person I would have asked. Perhaps your team(surgeon,oncologist,radiation doc)can help you with some of those issues or direct you to someone.How much help you actually may need depends on you and how you react/handle the chemo/radiation.It will be a difficult journey but ---and I KNOW this is hard--try to stay upbeat and positive. Don't ever stop asking questions.
And use this board.These ladies are wonderful.
Do you have any other family in the area? How about your church...? I know, it's been my experience, that the women in the church usually will step up to the plate and do what ever needs you may have.....I can't speak about a double mastectomy, I had a lumpectomy, but from the women on this board, that you will need help at home for a couple of weeks...I'm sure some will help guide you...you will need someone to drive you to and from chemo..as for the radiation you should be able to drive yourself
I'm sorry you need us but you've found the perfect group of women to share their personal experiences and offer you any help, answer questions, give encouragement and support every step of the way....but remember we're all different....
Keep posting, we care
Hugs, Nancy0 -
Welcome sister!
Hi Audra - Welcome to the best online community! You will find a lot of love and support here. You are not alone sister.
I'm now 34. I was dx at 32. I did lumpectomy, chemo, and radiation. Now taking tamoxifen (no side effects, thank God).
Let me start by saying do not anticipate how you will react to chemo. Some people have no side effects and many have little side effects. You just need to follow instructions and be sure to rest! We will be here to give you some input as to what to do and what to expect. There are a couple of great books I got to help me through the diet part. I will share with you later, when you start your treatment. I don't want to overwhelm you. Just PM me or post before your treatment starts (IF you are getting chemo), and many of us will be able to guide you (apart from your Dr.).
About getting help, does your hospital offer any help? If not, they might actually have some references for you. I know there are some organizations that offer home assistance (nurses)...I wish I remembered the name of this place. I will ask my friend as she worked there a while ago. I am sure you can get help. Don't worry.
Sending you a big hug. Please know we are walking through your path with you. And there is LIGHT at the end of the tunnel.0 -
Hi Audra! You have come toLoveBabyJesus said:Welcome sister!
Hi Audra - Welcome to the best online community! You will find a lot of love and support here. You are not alone sister.
I'm now 34. I was dx at 32. I did lumpectomy, chemo, and radiation. Now taking tamoxifen (no side effects, thank God).
Let me start by saying do not anticipate how you will react to chemo. Some people have no side effects and many have little side effects. You just need to follow instructions and be sure to rest! We will be here to give you some input as to what to do and what to expect. There are a couple of great books I got to help me through the diet part. I will share with you later, when you start your treatment. I don't want to overwhelm you. Just PM me or post before your treatment starts (IF you are getting chemo), and many of us will be able to guide you (apart from your Dr.).
About getting help, does your hospital offer any help? If not, they might actually have some references for you. I know there are some organizations that offer home assistance (nurses)...I wish I remembered the name of this place. I will ask my friend as she worked there a while ago. I am sure you can get help. Don't worry.
Sending you a big hug. Please know we are walking through your path with you. And there is LIGHT at the end of the tunnel.
Hi Audra! You have come to the right place for support and information. I am 2&1/2 yrs since diagnoses. I also had lumpectomy, chemo and radiation. It's scary to be newly diagnosed but this forum was my lifeline. When I couldn't sleep at night there was always someone on to answer my questions, big or small. You will be amazed how many people truly care. Best Wishes coming your way.0 -
Hi Audra,
How old are your
Hi Audra,
How old are your kids? That will likely make a difference in the amount of help you need.
My suggestion is choose one person who can organize/coordinate help for you....one person who can see what you need or listen to your requests and who can be sure there is someone available to fill those needs.
Also, keep a list of ideas for how people can help kind of in your mind. That way, when someone says "what can I do to help?" you can answer with pick up the kids, babysit, mow the lawn, wash the laundry, bring a meal, go to the bank, whatever you need and trust that person to complete for you. Don't try to be superwoman, assume that if someone is offering to help that they truly want to do something for you.
Beyond that, I'm going to focus on the bilateral since that is coming first for you. My bilateral was Jan 2011, I didn't have reconstruction. After your surgery you will have lifting restrictions, and you will have limited reach with your arms. Anything high or low you'll need to move to belly/counter height. You will want shirts/blouses that button/zip up the front. I slept in my bed with lots of pillows of different sizes. I had a triangle pillow for my back and then lots of smaller pillows to support my arms. Some here have slept in a recliner.
The drains are annoying. You will need help with them, especially at first. After about two weeks I was able to fully care for my drains myself. A couple mastectomy camisoles might make you more comfortable. Mine zipped up the front, came with two pillow foobs, and pockets for the drains. For showering I tied a shoestring around my neck and pinned the drains to that.
I tell everyone this story...while in the hospital...first time to the bathroom after the surgery...my legs were feeling wobbly so I held on to the rail on the wall as I sat down. DON'T DO THAT!!!! It moved my arm in the wrong way, and was extremely painful. I was in the hospital an extra day getting the pain under control.
When you get to chemo and rads, we'll share advise/experience about those too. Please come back and let us know how you are doing.
Hugs,
Linda0 -
Sorry for what you're going through!
I'm also sorry you are here because it means you're in the same boat as all of us but a nicer set of shipmates you will not find. Check with your oncol. office about resources available in you area. I truly bet that The American Cancer Society can help - please give them a call soon.
I hope you find the help you need! Please let us know how you're doing.
Prayers and hugs!
Karen0 -
Welcome Audra, though I amGMcD said:Hi Audra! You have come to
Hi Audra! You have come to the right place for support and information. I am 2&1/2 yrs since diagnoses. I also had lumpectomy, chemo and radiation. It's scary to be newly diagnosed but this forum was my lifeline. When I couldn't sleep at night there was always someone on to answer my questions, big or small. You will be amazed how many people truly care. Best Wishes coming your way.
Welcome Audra, though I am sorry that you are here because of bc. I had a lumpectomy and then rads.
You said you need help? What do you mean? For you or your family?
Let others help if they ask. My hubby drove me everyday to my rads appointments and we had family and friends that even rode along for support. I have been blessed by having such a great family, husband and friends.
Good luck and I will be praying for you,
Sue 0 -
Hi there! Isn't everyone
Hi there! Isn't everyone here fabulous? what a great support group we have here! anyhoooo!
i was diagnosed in october 2011.....went thru the chemo first and then had a double mastectomy in March 2012. i was pretty lucky in that i didn't have a lot of pain afterwards.....but the drains were absolutely annoying. and the drain incisions on one side were painful but as soon as they were removed....i was good to go. I'm going thru my radiation now and it's not much fun either.
as far as help.....my doctors were great and still are.....but i found that unless i ask for help......they don't know what i'm going thru and don't just offer it. everyone is different so my recommendation would be to constantly ask your doctors for everything...even if you think they may not know.....they can refer you to pretty much anyone. Also....my church helped me a lot and friends. don't hesitate to talk to your friends/family and see who's willing to step up. you will be amazed at all the help people will offer but you have to take advantage of it. most people want to help but don't know what you need or what to do.
remember to take good care of yourself through this entire process. your health is so important....but equally important is your mental state. stay positive and hold on to your faith. God will bring you through this and teach you so much along the way. focus on that and getting better.
i'm soo sorry you were diagnosed with this crazy awful disease......but i'm excited for everything that you will learn and gain from going through it. remember to make some sweet lemonade every day out of this nasty lemon that has been given to you.
much love!
Ally0 -
Audra ... you are in my
Audra ... you are in my thoughts and prayers.... I had dcis and lumpectomy then radiation about 4 weeks later .... cant help with chemo advice but for me the radiation went well .... only takes a few min each time lying under a machine ... some even work and go on their lunch breaks ...each person is different .... when people offer to make meals, clean or help with rides back and forth .... accept their help.....people from churches often offer help .....dont be afraid to ask!
Keep us posted, try to rest and relax and come to this board for help and support! ... Sue D .0 -
You are in the right place
Welcome to a great group of women who are willing to help each other. I think that the American Cancer Society should be your first call. They keep calling me with advice and sending me literature with phone numbers and suggestions. You are going to need help in your home from what I have read here on the board. Can your husband take his vacation during that time? Do you have anyone that you can think of? If you are considering hiring someone I have the suspicion that you don't (I wouldn't either). So that is the first thing you need to hammer out. Call them ok? Where do you live? Maybe one of us can help...in a heartbeat!!
We are here for you,
Rebecca0 -
Help is there
Hi Audra, sorry you had to find us but as everyone else has already said, you found the right place. I agree with all of the advice you have gotten already! But definitely let your church know of your needs. Ask your doctor about local area support groups, most offer help with rides to treatment and organize meals for the bad chemo days. Chemo is not fun by any means but it is doable, and many do it and work full time as well. I was not one of them however I did work part time up until my last week of chemo and it became too much for me. I needed help after my bi lateral mastectomy for the first week, getting up and getting my drains taken care of and my bandages. It gets easier the second week and I found I wanted to try to do somethings on my own. If your children are teens, they will be able to help alot! Teach them how to use the washer and dryer and microwave. The worry of the unknown is worse than what it turns out to be. I worried so much about getting sick and all the horrible things I had ever heard about chemo and it turned out a lot different. Not easy at all, but I got through it. You will too.
Sending thoughts and prayers!
Sandy0 -
I am sending you a warmMAJW said:Is there..
Do you have any other family in the area? How about your church...? I know, it's been my experience, that the women in the church usually will step up to the plate and do what ever needs you may have.....I can't speak about a double mastectomy, I had a lumpectomy, but from the women on this board, that you will need help at home for a couple of weeks...I'm sure some will help guide you...you will need someone to drive you to and from chemo..as for the radiation you should be able to drive yourself
I'm sorry you need us but you've found the perfect group of women to share their personal experiences and offer you any help, answer questions, give encouragement and support every step of the way....but remember we're all different....
Keep posting, we care
Hugs, Nancy
I am sending you a warm welcome to our amazing group! You will find lots of support and encouragement here from your pink sisters.
Hugs, Jan0 -
Hi Audra and welcome.
I was 44 with my first diagnosis. I did some things to make it easier before the surgery, and my sisters stayed with me the 2 days after.
Grocery shopped, bought easy foods, made casseroles, frozen pizza, salad etc, friends showed up with food, and the boys had no problem picking up Mexican food or ordering a pizza! I cleaned the house before I went and they vacuumed, dusted, loaded the dishwasher and did their own laundry. They helped b4 I got sick as I always worked full-time and usually had a small 2nd job as well.
The surgery was much easier than my hysterectomy or gall bladder surgery, it was dealing with the fact that I had cancer that was hard.
I don't know how old your kids are, but mine stepped right up. Chemo, which was on Fridays, was a little harder. I had each of them pick Fri or Sat nite to stay home bcuz I got so sick from A/C.
When I was diagnosed with mets 8 1/2 years later, my older sons wife asked him what he did to help me the first time, he was really proud to say he drove me to chemo, that he and his brother cooked, kept the house clean, helped me into the bathroom, helped me out of the shower (I had my robe on, but the chemo messed with my balance). By helping me, it gave them a sense of being part of the fight.
Best of luck to you,
Carol0 -
Housekeeping
In our area (West Michigan) there is "Houskeeping with a purpose". Or at least I think it was the name. The American Cancer Society in your area would probably know about this. I did not use this service as I have older grandchildren. One of them stayed with me for 3 weeks.
You will need to rest after surgery for sure but also check with your doctor about how much he wants you to use your arm. I had a lumpectomy and lymph nodes out and he wanted me to use my arm as much as I could. Just don't over do it. I could move the laurndry from the washer to the dryer with ease when necessary (handful by handful) but you are having a double masectomy so it may be harder for you. Is your husband a good cook? Mine is. He even helped with the post surgical drains at first. A visiting nurse is likely the one to teach you both how to do this.
Often when you are in a church those who have gone through cancer (breast cancer in particular) come out of the woodwork with offers of help. We got meals for about 2 weeks from our church as my husband still needed a break just to adjust to the idea of me having cancer. What about laundry? Maybe someone will come in and do this or take it home and return it folded the next day. I did not have this service, but my grandaughter really saved me on that point and she also was quite good at putting a lunch together. Considering it is summer perhaps the children could be enrolled in Vacation Bible school at several of the churches in your area after your surgery.0 -
Care Calendar
This time last year I was fighting it - cancer free not a full year yet - but spent 2011 in 5 months/16 rounds of chemo, double mastectomy, reconstruction, 2nd stage reconstruction. Crazy year!
A friend of mine from church set up a care calendar and it was amazing. All of my friends loved it. Even people who I was more acquaintances with helped out.
www.carecalendar.org
Don't hesitate to accept help. I had trouble at first, but once the chemo hit, it no longer bothered me that my friends were cleaning my house; bringing me meals, running to the store for me, etc. My husband was here - but honestly, it was the ladies from church who rallied around and took care of me! I agree with one of the girls - know what you need so when someone asks you can answer!!
Good luck! Prayers going up for you!
debbie0 -
Hi Audra! As you can seesdukowitz said:Audra ... you are in my
Audra ... you are in my thoughts and prayers.... I had dcis and lumpectomy then radiation about 4 weeks later .... cant help with chemo advice but for me the radiation went well .... only takes a few min each time lying under a machine ... some even work and go on their lunch breaks ...each person is different .... when people offer to make meals, clean or help with rides back and forth .... accept their help.....people from churches often offer help .....dont be afraid to ask!
Keep us posted, try to rest and relax and come to this board for help and support! ... Sue D .
Hi Audra! As you can see from the posts, the pink sisters are always ready, willing and able to help you with anything. You've gotten some good advice already.
Don't try to do everything yourself, let others help if they ask. You have enough to deal with right now.
Good luck,
Kylez0 -
lots on your plate for sure.
lots on your plate for sure. I THINK I WOULD start with your medical insurance or see if cancer center would assist you making calls etc to see if HOME care is covered!
I did not have chemo-radiation only!
any support groups in town or local?
Denise0 -
So sorry that you wereksf56 said:Sorry for what you're going through!
I'm also sorry you are here because it means you're in the same boat as all of us but a nicer set of shipmates you will not find. Check with your oncol. office about resources available in you area. I truly bet that The American Cancer Society can help - please give them a call soon.
I hope you find the help you need! Please let us know how you're doing.
Prayers and hugs!
Karen
So sorry that you were diagnosed with bc. Do you think your friends or some other family members will offer to help you? If they do, please let them.
Also like others wrote, I bet you will be surprised of the help you will get.
Hugs to you,
Leeza0
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