So Sorry

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padee6339
padee6339 Member Posts: 763
in Breast Cancer #1
I'm so sorry I haven't written or responded to any posts for so long. Its been a rough journey for me. While my cancer so far has NOT returned, I wound up in the hospital last fall, first with extreme water gain and spent a week in the hospital having it removed. That's when they found out I needed open heart surgery. I had an aortic valve replacement on October 5th at Johns Hopkins in Baltimore and spent a month recovering there, relearning how to walk and regain the use of my left arm (I'm left handed). I spent another month in a nursing/rehab home (what an incredibly awful place) and then upon returning home, put my home on the market, sold it at a great loss, gave away or sold most of my furniture and household things, and moved in with my 90 year old Mother so we could take care of each other. During the open heart surgery my kidneys failed, and now I am on dialysis three days a week. I had to leave my job, my home, and everything I knew to beat this disease. I am hoping to get on the transplant list soon. Good things though, my new home is near Ocean City, MD and the beach weather is arriving soon. With the catheter in my chest for dialysis I'm not allowed to get it wet, so on Tuesday will have a fistula placed in my arm and when that "ripens" and can be used, they will remove the catheter.

I do read the posts and welcome all the newbies and will tell you that I know you will all be strong and beat this and I have kept all of you, new and old friends, in my heart and prayers all along.

Say a little prayer for me when you get the chance.

Pat
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Comments

  • missrenee
    missrenee Member Posts: 2,136 Member
    #2
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    No, Pat, I am sorry
    to hear about your unbelievable troubles. As if the breast cancer wasn't enough. I am so sorry you have had to endure all that has happened over the past few months--it isn't fair and it isn't right.

    I'm hoping you and your mother will be able to comfort each other in your new home by the sea. The ocean is my favorite place in the world--whatever ocean it may be. I feel it is a very healing place and I wish that for you.

    Please know you have been included on my prayer list. I hope you will be able to check in from time to time and talk to us. We care.

    Love and hugs, Renee
  • eihtak
    eihtak Member Posts: 1,473 Member
    #3
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    Immediate prayers !!!
    Wow, I am fairly new here, just returned home from the hospital yesterday for a double mastectomy. I am not new to cancer tho, I am about 1yr post treatment for Anal cancer and due to some complications spent a couple months in a nursing home myself. My experience was not too bad, the home itself was old and nothing to brag about, but the staff was an absolute life saver! I have heard some horror stories and was prepared for the worst, but lucked out. It sounds like your whole life has been turned upside down and it must take an emotional toll not to mention the physical/health issues. You sound like a positive do what you must kind of person. Sometimes I guess we have no choice but to keep moving on. Keep those positive thoughts and don't loose any happy memories you have of past. Sometimes when I'm laying in bed I just close my eyes and replay happy healthy times in my mind, I may be a bit crazy but I feel like I'm escaping to a safe place. I will have you in my prayers also.
  • sea60
    sea60 Member Posts: 2,613
    #4
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    Oh my goodness Pat, you have
    Oh my goodness Pat, you have gone through SO much :(

    My heart breaks that all this happened. I'll be certainly praying for you and your Mom.

    Hugs,

    Sylvia
  • rjjj
    rjjj Member Posts: 1,822 Member
    #5
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    sea60 said:

    Oh my goodness Pat, you have
    Oh my goodness Pat, you have gone through SO much :(

    My heart breaks that all this happened. I'll be certainly praying for you and your Mom.

    Hugs,

    Sylvia

    Never apologize
    There is no need to be sorry, even though some of us just touch base once in awhile, in our hearts we are always there for each other. That is why we are kindred spirits.
    I am so very sorry you have had soooo much to have to deal with. You will be in my prayers. I admire your strength and courage.
    Love always,
    Jackie
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #6
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    Oh, my dear soul....
    I have nothing that comes close to comfort that I can think to say to you....

    I can only offer my heart and my hugs....minor as they are...

    Hugs, Kathi
  • New Flower
    New Flower Member Posts: 4,294
    #7
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    Pat welcome back
    Dear Pat
    I am very sorry for your hardship . I hope that Ocean and your Mom will help you to recover soon. I love ocean and Ocean City MD is a nice place, even you cannot swim. Ocean is source of strength and peace for me.
    Please keep us posted
    Hugs and positive thoughts are coming your way.
    new Flower
  • fauxma
    fauxma Member Posts: 3,577 Member
    #8
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    I am saying a big prayer for
    I am saying a big prayer for you. This is a lot on your plate and I hope that all goes well. So sorry that this is happening.
    Stef
  • MMO3
    MMO3 Member Posts: 44
    #9
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    prayer and more prayer
    ..i have such a wonderful support group right within my own family and friends and you have just been added Pat. I wish i had the right words to share but being newly diagnosed myself...Ive learned in this short time of reviewing different discussions on this site..That this is a family of support too and from my heart to yours, I wish you a healthy recovery (speedy too) and a sincere hug and sending precious thoughts and prayer of healing your way.
  • Tux
    Tux Member Posts: 544
    #10
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    MMO3 said:

    prayer and more prayer
    ..i have such a wonderful support group right within my own family and friends and you have just been added Pat. I wish i had the right words to share but being newly diagnosed myself...Ive learned in this short time of reviewing different discussions on this site..That this is a family of support too and from my heart to yours, I wish you a healthy recovery (speedy too) and a sincere hug and sending precious thoughts and prayer of healing your way.

    hugs sent your way
    Pat, so sorry to hear of your setbacks; (((Hugs))) sent your way... and prayers, too!
  • Frankie Shannon
    Frankie Shannon Member Posts: 457
    #11
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    You are in my thoughts and
    You are in my thoughts and prayers.So sorry you have gone through so much but do injoy the beach,what a great place to live your life and recuperate.All the best to you.
    Hugs Frankie
  • laughs_a_lot
    laughs_a_lot Member Posts: 1,368 Member
    #12
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    'Wow
    Sorry that you have been busy with so many unpleasant things. Will put you on the prayer list. Hope the rest of the year goes well for you.
  • Debbye48
    Debbye48 Member Posts: 17
    #13
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    Sorry
    I will Pray for you i found out that i had BC Dec 2011 it is still new to me. At this point in my life i am dealing with it. Please stay strong
  • Jean 0609
    Jean 0609 Member Posts: 2,462
    #14
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    Hi Pat!
    Just wanted to say hi, even though we have been in contact with each other. Hope to get down to the eastern shore sometime soon so that we can have our "second" meeting.

    xoxo,
    Jean
  • Kat11
    Kat11 Member Posts: 1,931 Member
    #15
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    Jean 0609 said:

    Hi Pat!
    Just wanted to say hi, even though we have been in contact with each other. Hope to get down to the eastern shore sometime soon so that we can have our "second" meeting.

    xoxo,
    Jean

    Hey Pat
    Oh my, you sure have had a lot going on. I am glad you posted. You sure could use the power of " Pink Prayer ". Sounds like you will enjoy your new home and thats good. Sending prayers and hugs.
    Kathy
  • Ritzy
    Ritzy Member Posts: 4,381 Member
    #16
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    missrenee said:

    No, Pat, I am sorry
    to hear about your unbelievable troubles. As if the breast cancer wasn't enough. I am so sorry you have had to endure all that has happened over the past few months--it isn't fair and it isn't right.

    I'm hoping you and your mother will be able to comfort each other in your new home by the sea. The ocean is my favorite place in the world--whatever ocean it may be. I feel it is a very healing place and I wish that for you.

    Please know you have been included on my prayer list. I hope you will be able to check in from time to time and talk to us. We care.

    Love and hugs, Renee

    Pat, I am so very sorry for
    Pat, I am so very sorry for all that has happened to you. And no need to apologize for anything. You've been going through so much, way too much.

    Just take care of yourself and enjoy the sea. Thanks for updating us, but, so sorry once again for what has happened.


    Sue :)
  • Noel
    Noel Member Posts: 3,095 Member
    #17
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    sea60 said:

    Oh my goodness Pat, you have
    Oh my goodness Pat, you have gone through SO much :(

    My heart breaks that all this happened. I'll be certainly praying for you and your Mom.

    Hugs,

    Sylvia

    You poor thing. That is
    You poor thing. That is just way too much for anyone to have to endure. I will be praying for you Pat.


    Hugs, Noel
  • survivorbc09
    survivorbc09 Member Posts: 4,374 Member
    #18
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    Tux said:

    hugs sent your way
    Pat, so sorry to hear of your setbacks; (((Hugs))) sent your way... and prayers, too!

    Sending you lots of prayers
    Sending you lots of prayers and hugs Pat!


    Jan
  • padee6339
    padee6339 Member Posts: 763
    #19
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    Kat11 said:

    Hey Pat
    Oh my, you sure have had a lot going on. I am glad you posted. You sure could use the power of " Pink Prayer ". Sounds like you will enjoy your new home and thats good. Sending prayers and hugs.
    Kathy

    Thank you all!
    Its so hard to feel sorry for myself when all of you (me too) have been through dealing with bad news, surgeries, hair falling out, chemo, radiation. Not one of us has had an easy time and I am so grateful for this website and all of you to be here for support. My 90 year old Mom has always had the attitude of dust yourself off and keep going and don't talk about it. So I know she hurts for me, she just doesn't want to talk about it. I do have three long time friends who have beaten the beast but they are not located near me. You pink ladies have been my constant support. If I need a boost, I come here. Well, not lately, LOL. I have an open heart and all of you are welcome into it. My door is always open Jean and anyone else who wants a getaway weekend at the beach (or like they say in Baltimore - downey ocean hon!).

    You are all in my prayers too and in his healing heart.

    Pat
  • Megan M
    Megan M Member Posts: 3,000
    #20
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    padee6339 said:

    Thank you all!
    Its so hard to feel sorry for myself when all of you (me too) have been through dealing with bad news, surgeries, hair falling out, chemo, radiation. Not one of us has had an easy time and I am so grateful for this website and all of you to be here for support. My 90 year old Mom has always had the attitude of dust yourself off and keep going and don't talk about it. So I know she hurts for me, she just doesn't want to talk about it. I do have three long time friends who have beaten the beast but they are not located near me. You pink ladies have been my constant support. If I need a boost, I come here. Well, not lately, LOL. I have an open heart and all of you are welcome into it. My door is always open Jean and anyone else who wants a getaway weekend at the beach (or like they say in Baltimore - downey ocean hon!).

    You are all in my prayers too and in his healing heart.

    Pat

    You just take care of
    You just take care of yourself Pat and don't worry about the pink sisters. We're always here for anyone and always will be.

    Enjoy the beach and God bless you.


    Hugs, Megan
  • VickiSam
    VickiSam Member Posts: 9,079 Member
    #21
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    Megan M said:

    You just take care of
    You just take care of yourself Pat and don't worry about the pink sisters. We're always here for anyone and always will be.

    Enjoy the beach and God bless you.


    Hugs, Megan

    Pat ... I am so very sorry to hear about your
    additional health issues -- as if breast cancer wasn't bad enough! My deepest
    sympathy for you, Pat. I pray for strength, courage, health and inspiration.

    Hoping that being by the ocean will provide you with a calm presence, and
    healing power. May our Lord provide you with options, and a kidney.

    I can not even imagine ... We are here for you, 24 hours a day, 7 days a
    week.

    Gentle hugs, dear Pat.

    Vicki Sam

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