Another cancer, scared,freaking out!
I lost my way to "here" ,and couldn't read or post. Anyway....
I was just in FL visiting my daughter,because she had twins. I unexpectedly had a huge GI bleed out. Ended up in the ER! Transferred to my hometown hospital in NJ. Had a blood transfusion, found out I have a cecum colon mass, my colon cancer has returned! (had it in 2001 atage 34!) I was ten years colon cancer free! So what the heck?!?! I'm already battling stage 4 breast cancer with bone mets... I'm worn out . Sick of these cancer battles. My husband isn't very helpful, hasn't said two words to me about it. I guess he is tired of having a sick wife who does nothing but cry and feel yucky?
I'm nervous to have surgery, nervous to have colostomy! Scared about recovery, stitches pain,etcetcetc, no help with aftercare. I feel soooooo alone.
Help.
Patiann F.
Comments
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:-{
Very sorry to hear this, I understand recurrence as I have had to battle cancer 3 times to date. It is scary, it is frustrating and tiresome but please keep fighting! If you have no help at home ask your onco or call the American Cancer Society in your region and ask what type of help is available in your area. Please do not give up!
Hugs,
RE0 -
First Congrats on
First Congrats on Twins!
sorry to hear issues while away and when got home..
Thinking of you...
Denise0 -
Breathe!!!
Think first of those sweet new babies.....they may need their grandma to be sane. I can sort of relate. I am about one year out from Stage3 Anal Cancer, and last month when I went for my PET scan they said I was NED for AC at this time but I was diagnosed with a rare Breast Cancer. Its called "secretory carcinoma" and there is admittedly little info on this so thus no protocall standard treatment. In 2wks I am having a double mastectomy. I have been told my AC has a 50% chance of recurrence. On top of this my husband (who also says almost nothing about my condition) has issues of his own. He has had "Multiple Myeloma" a blood cancer for 2.5yrs and this past Dec. had a bone marrow transplant. I have spent my recovery time being his caregiver, and with any complaint of my own his always got worse....maybe its good because I learned to quit complaining. He is doing well now, but has a watchful year ahead for rejection issues. Anyhow, now I need to deal with this new Breast Cancer and I find myself worrying about what next all the time!!!! It is truely exhausting, I know, but try to be strong. I just started a light yoga class at the hospital, it is designed for cancer recovery and works mostly on breathing and stretching....seems to help a little. I too have young grandchildren, and the more I focus on them, the better I feel. Keep in touch, I will add you to my prayer list and be thinking of you often.0 -
Breathe Part 2eihtak said:Breathe!!!
Think first of those sweet new babies.....they may need their grandma to be sane. I can sort of relate. I am about one year out from Stage3 Anal Cancer, and last month when I went for my PET scan they said I was NED for AC at this time but I was diagnosed with a rare Breast Cancer. Its called "secretory carcinoma" and there is admittedly little info on this so thus no protocall standard treatment. In 2wks I am having a double mastectomy. I have been told my AC has a 50% chance of recurrence. On top of this my husband (who also says almost nothing about my condition) has issues of his own. He has had "Multiple Myeloma" a blood cancer for 2.5yrs and this past Dec. had a bone marrow transplant. I have spent my recovery time being his caregiver, and with any complaint of my own his always got worse....maybe its good because I learned to quit complaining. He is doing well now, but has a watchful year ahead for rejection issues. Anyhow, now I need to deal with this new Breast Cancer and I find myself worrying about what next all the time!!!! It is truely exhausting, I know, but try to be strong. I just started a light yoga class at the hospital, it is designed for cancer recovery and works mostly on breathing and stretching....seems to help a little. I too have young grandchildren, and the more I focus on them, the better I feel. Keep in touch, I will add you to my prayer list and be thinking of you often.
Sorry, I almost forgot. I have had a colostomy for over a year, and although it took a bit of time, I am absolutely comfortable with it now. I can go part of the day with just wearing a big bandaid over the opening (stoma) and have learned to manage the bag and all easily. You will find a way that works for you but will need to be patient. It is a blessing not to have the bowel issues I was having before. I am active 53yr old and still able to do most of what I did before ( aside from problems due to other illness ) Again, keep in touch!!!0 -
PatiAnneihtak said:Breathe Part 2
Sorry, I almost forgot. I have had a colostomy for over a year, and although it took a bit of time, I am absolutely comfortable with it now. I can go part of the day with just wearing a big bandaid over the opening (stoma) and have learned to manage the bag and all easily. You will find a way that works for you but will need to be patient. It is a blessing not to have the bowel issues I was having before. I am active 53yr old and still able to do most of what I did before ( aside from problems due to other illness ) Again, keep in touch!!!
Please don't give up and remember those adorable babies.
As hard as it is sometimes......fight with everything you have.
Big Hugs,
Wanda0 -
I can't imagine what you are
I can't imagine what you are going through~ I just hope you find the strength to keep fighting for the babies if nothing else. Maybe hubby needs a talking to from some-one to make him understand what it is you're going through. You are not alone! You have us here to talk to and cry to. Sending you lots of hugs and prayers~~
Angela0 -
Oh Sweetie
Oh Sweetie. I am SO sorry. I can imagine how scared you must be. Have patience with your husband. He is scared too and can't express it.
Concentrate on your grandchildren and the good things. I always think I could have had breast cancer in a third world country, or 100 yrs ago.
Give yourself permission to be sad and cry.
Thinking of you.
0 -
on the list
You are on prayer list.0 -
Gentle hugs, prayers and positivelaughs_a_lot said:on the list
You are on prayer list.
thoughts for you, Pattiane. You have the weight of the world on you right now, so I
wish the very very best -- out of this complicated situation.
Strength, Courage and HOPE for a Cure.
Vicki Sam0 -
Gentle hugs, prayers and positivelaughs_a_lot said:on the list
You are on prayer list.
.. sorry, double post.0 -
So sorry. Sending you lotsRE said::-{
Very sorry to hear this, I understand recurrence as I have had to battle cancer 3 times to date. It is scary, it is frustrating and tiresome but please keep fighting! If you have no help at home ask your onco or call the American Cancer Society in your region and ask what type of help is available in your area. Please do not give up!
Hugs,
RE
So sorry. Sending you lots of hugs and encouragement.
Hugs, Kylez0 -
I want to say congrats onVigee said:Oh Sweetie
Oh Sweetie. I am SO sorry. I can imagine how scared you must be. Have patience with your husband. He is scared too and can't express it.
Concentrate on your grandchildren and the good things. I always think I could have had breast cancer in a third world country, or 100 yrs ago.
Give yourself permission to be sad and cry.
Thinking of you.</p>
I want to say congrats on the twins and how great that you got to see them. And, how very sorry I am. I can't imagine what you're going thru now.
Positive thoughts, hope and support,
Leeza0 -
Very sorry that you're hereLighthouse_7 said:PatiAnn
Please don't give up and remember those adorable babies.
As hard as it is sometimes......fight with everything you have.
Big Hugs,
Wanda
Very sorry that you're here at all Pattiann. I am sending you lots of good thoughts.
Praying,
Jan0 -
I am sorry Patti and I amVickiSam said:Gentle hugs, prayers and positive
thoughts for you, Pattiane. You have the weight of the world on you right now, so I
wish the very very best -- out of this complicated situation.
Strength, Courage and HOPE for a Cure.
Vicki Sam
I am sorry Patti and I am sending you gentle hugs and prayers. Keep posting to update us when you can.
Hugs, Noel0 -
Hello Patiann,
I know oh to
Hello Patiann,
I know oh to well, how you feel. I had breast cancer 10 yrs ago, then 3 yrs after
that I got anal cancer, and that was 7 mths after my dad died. Seemed like the world
was caving in. Now I have a pelvic problem, after all the anal rads, their protocol
is to radiate the outside pelvic organs, so cancer wont go to the lymph nodes, be-
cause of that, nobody can ever get a pap or uterine biopsy, i have been having horr-
ible pain, in groin, sciatic, pelvic, and nobody can get a biopsy, found one gyno
now that just might have, he said he went up to the uterus and got the biopsy as
well as blood was gushing out, black, clotty blood, he took a specimen, then i had
relief, seems like pain just went away. But i face that biopsy result on tuesday,
plus, the biopsy, for the breast, of which i had cancer 10 yrs ago, they found a
2cm mass. I am scared stiff....its a bit different situation then yours, but all
the same type of suffering.
I feel bad that your husband is behaving that way with you. Sometimes, i dont feel
my mother understands the severity of what torture and fear we go through fighting
these damn fights. She says she does and feels bad, but I dont know. Maybe I am
waiting for a pitty party, maybe I just want someone to hold me and say, I hope
you dont suffer anymore, or I Love you.....or just say, I understand and i am here
for you.....why do people who don't walk in our shoes, realize, the severity of
what we go through. I know they cant do anything physically for us, but words of
encouragement do help. I have no siblings or kids, never married, my dads deceas-
ed, some cousins....and long time family friends, some high school friends, and
long long time neighbors, but my mom is only immediate family.
I am basically housebound, because i have other disabilities.
Pati, I just want to say, I care for you, I may not be able to see you, or hug you
or, hear your voice, but know that I am standing behind you 100% and i will NOT
let you feel alone and i will NOT say, I dont understand, or get sick of you talk-
ing about what you have to say....I will be your unconditional friend, who cares
and loves you, because we are all fighters here, and we are all like a family,
striving to be survivors and fighting for our lives....so, i know what you are
going through....and I want you to know....YOU ARE DEFINITELY NOT ALONE....YOU
HAVE ME, YOU HAVE US ALL. You will fight this, you will be strong and tough,
you will NOT ALLOW IT to get the best of you....you hear? You fight Pati, because
I care...and I want you to be around a very long time....Tell, yourself you can
do this, this is a challenge your facing, to see how strong you are....give this
gift to yourself....and beat, both odds....of both cancers....i want you to be
happy....and enjoy your life.....and know you got friends on this board, that will
ALWAYS, SUPPORT YOU. (((((((((((((( PATI ))))))))))))))))) A BIG HUG JUST FOR YOU!
LOVE YOU, DEAR SISTER SURVIVOR AND THRIVER.....YOU CAN DO IT....NINA FROM NY!0 -
Just want to say how verydisneyfan2008 said:First Congrats on
First Congrats on Twins!
sorry to hear issues while away and when got home..
Thinking of you...
Denise
Just want to say how very sorry I am & that I'll be praying for you.
Hugs, Angie0 -
You said you feel all alone,belindar said:So sorry
So sorry to hear this.
My husband is very similar-he just doesn't want to talk about it. He told me that is how he copes with it.
I am sending you lots of prayers & positive thoughts.
You said you feel all alone, but, you aren't. The pink sisters will rally around you and be here for you thru it all. That's part of why this board is so great, lots of support!
Big hugs,
Debby0
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