I am dying
Comments
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Lee and Chantal - love to you both!chemosmoker said:HOME
LEE, THIS POST IS FOR YOU. THEREFORE IT IS ALL IN CAPS.
PLEASE DO ALL YOU CAN TO TRY AND GET HOME SO YOU CAN HAVE THAT PEACE.
THAT IS ALL. THINKING OF YOU AND SITTING HERE WITH MICHELLE CRYING.
JUST WANTED TO SAY THAT.
I HUG YOU,
ERIC
I am relatively new here on the CSN but have followed your posts for a few months now...such a darling couple! I am so saddened by this latest news, and you will both be in my prayers. I pray that you both will be able to handle what you must be facing with dignity and peace. My thoughts are with you - Kim from Kansas City0 -
its not over yet
Lee,
The docs can control extra fluids that build up and should have an answer for you there. The pain is a bad deal but I think you guys will get that figured out. When you think about it...you went in for a stent and got it and have had some complications but when you can move around alittle and get some of these issues under control then you're off to home. Your glass is 3/4's full...thats all I'm say'n. Sure, I know that you are not healed but it is not over yet.
Jim0 -
Lee, It pains me greatly to
Lee, It pains me greatly to read of your news. I admire you and Eric so much for all the help you give everyone on here as well as all of the survivors and caregivers. This disease is such a horrible disease it is so hard to explain to someone who hasn't been touched by it. I pray that all your days are filled with lots of love and as pain free as possible.
I am so afraid of what the next week holds for me so I can only imagine what you are going through. I have been listening to the Bible on MP3 and it does give me some comfort. If you're interested, there is a free version at http://www.audiotreasure.com/indexKJV.htm and it's actually pretty good. I just load it up on my iPod and lay back and listen.
Peace and love my friend!0 -
Thank You Lee!
Lee,
I wish I was better at expressing my thoughts in writing (I really struggle with the written words) but I am going to try to express my feelings through my tears. I feel very close to You & Chantal, it is crazy to think that people we have not meet could be this close but I know that many of you on this board feel the same way (I see post saying so). Chantal was one of the first people to reach out to me when I first posted about John and then you appeared on the board. You shared the prospective of the patient and with all that you are going through with stage IV you would take time to respond to my questions of dealing with John’s emotions on his journey toward surgery and after surgery toward recovery. I want you to know that you made a difference in my world you helped me and I THANK YOU! I will never see words in CAPS again without thinking of you (& Eric) and I will smile! Thank you for being so unselfish with your time and thoughts regarding what it is like to live with cancer. I am sending positive thoughts north to London, Ontario, Canada that you may have pain free time with Chantal and Daisy.
Chantal –I am here for you if you need me.
Love to you both
Erica0 -
Dying
MY heart goes out to you and especailly your loved ones.No doubt dying sucks and is very scary been through it 3 times with mom dad and sister my time is coming most important as you already kknow is hospice and pain relief Wish this world could give us an easier way out but my grandmother always said everything happens for a reason what I have no idea my husband got an easy out brain aneursym burst sudden death I wish I could do the same but must plod through I try to enjoy each day as it comes being a stageIV you never know. My mom had the ascites ( fluid build up from liver failure) from her breast cancer so did my sister from breast cancer they drained the fluid with relief but the end was the end Hope you have great hospice and pain relief My best to your awesome caretaker not much fun but reality I do hope you the best in yout last journey there is more to come and may you find it in peace No word to express my sorrow for you and yours May you have an easy exit and may your family get through with love and enjoy those last moment not inpain Meg Mcintyre0 -
Thinking of you and ChantelEricalynn said:Thank You Lee!
Lee,
I wish I was better at expressing my thoughts in writing (I really struggle with the written words) but I am going to try to express my feelings through my tears. I feel very close to You & Chantal, it is crazy to think that people we have not meet could be this close but I know that many of you on this board feel the same way (I see post saying so). Chantal was one of the first people to reach out to me when I first posted about John and then you appeared on the board. You shared the prospective of the patient and with all that you are going through with stage IV you would take time to respond to my questions of dealing with John’s emotions on his journey toward surgery and after surgery toward recovery. I want you to know that you made a difference in my world you helped me and I THANK YOU! I will never see words in CAPS again without thinking of you (& Eric) and I will smile! Thank you for being so unselfish with your time and thoughts regarding what it is like to live with cancer. I am sending positive thoughts north to London, Ontario, Canada that you may have pain free time with Chantal and Daisy.
Chantal –I am here for you if you need me.
Love to you both
Erica
I'm at a loss of words for the two of you. May god give you strength and prayers during this time. My heart cries out for the two of you. You have made me laugh and cry on all of your post, today is a day of crying. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Lots of hugs and kisses to the both of you,
Carolyn0 -
The "L" word
Lee and Chantal,
I wish there were words to ease this transition for you two. This has been such a courageous and brave battle that you have both shared with us here on the board and personally. I know that you are overwhelmed and terrified. We try to prepare ourselves for "that" moment and no matter how we play it out in our mind, it will never compare to the actual moment. Eric and I are both here should you like or need to call or chat. You will most definitely be spending all of these moments together. Embrace each other as much as possible and know that we are doing the same.
Chantal,
You are strong and you are NOT alone. Take this time to embrace Lee and "be" with him. You are his Rock and Foundation. You may already know all of this, but I say it anyway! You are loved by many and we all here want you to be held in love and affection. Please do accept it and hold it from all of us.
Lee,
Really? The "L" word....My have your grown my friend. You have fought a good fight and a courageous one. The Beast within you will exist no more soon. You will be pain free and in peace soon. I will meet you there someday, though I know Eric will more than likely beat me there. One day we will all walk together in health and LOVE (in caps for you). Things will never be the same here without you, though the trend of communication that both you and Eric have so eloquently displayed in these halls will live for many to learn from. And what a lesson you have taught many! You have shared with all of us just how honest, caring, compassionate, strong, courageous, wonderful, joyful, funny, witty, intelligent, articulate, adorable, lovable, and most of all giving your soul is and will be forever! What a legacy here we have to carry from you! Thank you for all you have done for my husband in being such a support for him. You have given so much of yourself and your time to connect and validate for him so many experiences and emotions, that words simply can not define the grandeur of your impact on him. He is hurt and saddened by this news, though I know that he is working through it with your spirit by his side. I thank you for being his EC brother, I do, and will continue to love this most of all in my heart from you.
You must go now and be with your beautiful wife and family. I pray that the medicos will let you return home to be with Daisy and Chantal, and to allow for you to have time with the people who love you most in this life.
The "L" word to you Lee! And also with you Chantal!
-Michelle0 -
Grim reality
I had not loged on all day, half concerned I would find grim reality.
Lee you will not be forgotten and your family will be cared for as best we can. Try not to be terrified look for the peace you have wished for so many here on the board.
Lee Ann0 -
All my love to you bothmegmacmd said:Dying
MY heart goes out to you and especailly your loved ones.No doubt dying sucks and is very scary been through it 3 times with mom dad and sister my time is coming most important as you already kknow is hospice and pain relief Wish this world could give us an easier way out but my grandmother always said everything happens for a reason what I have no idea my husband got an easy out brain aneursym burst sudden death I wish I could do the same but must plod through I try to enjoy each day as it comes being a stageIV you never know. My mom had the ascites ( fluid build up from liver failure) from her breast cancer so did my sister from breast cancer they drained the fluid with relief but the end was the end Hope you have great hospice and pain relief My best to your awesome caretaker not much fun but reality I do hope you the best in yout last journey there is more to come and may you find it in peace No word to express my sorrow for you and yours May you have an easy exit and may your family get through with love and enjoy those last moment not inpain Meg Mcintyre
Dearest Lee and Chantal,
As another newbie who has followed your journey daily, I am beyond sadness at hearing your news. I cried all during my breakfast because I feel - like so many others - that I know you. You have been such a source of inspiration and I can't believe your graciousness and thought for others in the face of death. Each person here has written something that I was thinking and they have expressed it so eloquently. I just want to scream 'NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!'
I wish you peace and love during this awful time. I know I shall face it eventually with my darling husband who is stage IV and I hope we can be as dignified and positive as you two.
Hugs for loved strangers,
Marilyn0 -
oh boy,birdiequeen said:Grim reality
I had not loged on all day, half concerned I would find grim reality.
Lee you will not be forgotten and your family will be cared for as best we can. Try not to be terrified look for the peace you have wished for so many here on the board.
Lee Ann
Thank you all so very much for your words of love, comfort and wisdom in this very sad chapter in our battle. We are certainly hoping to get Lee home, where he can be comfortable and be in a place with his loved ones. We are hoping to meet with the team tomorrow, and let them know our goals. Lee and I had a good talk today about my role as caregiver once he comes home. The thought is a bit daunting, but home is where I want him. I am able to take a leave from work, so that is the plan. We don't have the details yet, but I know that home nursing and care are available to us. I am confident that Lee will feel safe and secure in his own bed, with myself and Daisy at his side. It may be a major challenge for me, but seeing him in the hospital and feeling crippling guilt when I have to leave him for the evening is harder still.
As of today, Lee was given some drugs to get his fluids moving out. (not sure of the spelling, but sounds like lasiks) which did not really work, but they are going to try it again tomorrow. They also gave him lactulose (sp?) for bowel movement. They continue to monitor his pain, and as he mentioned, they increased his patch and also the breakthrough.
They finally started his feeds, at a very slow rate, but better that than nothing. I hope that once he gets some nutrition into him, he'll have a bit more energy. He went almost 6 days on only iv hydration and ice chips. No wonder he's weak as a kitten!! He's also on a fluid diet, so he can have juice, ice cream and broth!!
I guess that's it for my update, I really just wanted to let you all know how very touched I was to read all of your posts. You are all such wonderful people, and I truly wish I could meet and hug each and every one of you.
Much love,
Chantal0 -
THANK YOU CHANTAL!!Daisylin said:oh boy,
Thank you all so very much for your words of love, comfort and wisdom in this very sad chapter in our battle. We are certainly hoping to get Lee home, where he can be comfortable and be in a place with his loved ones. We are hoping to meet with the team tomorrow, and let them know our goals. Lee and I had a good talk today about my role as caregiver once he comes home. The thought is a bit daunting, but home is where I want him. I am able to take a leave from work, so that is the plan. We don't have the details yet, but I know that home nursing and care are available to us. I am confident that Lee will feel safe and secure in his own bed, with myself and Daisy at his side. It may be a major challenge for me, but seeing him in the hospital and feeling crippling guilt when I have to leave him for the evening is harder still.
As of today, Lee was given some drugs to get his fluids moving out. (not sure of the spelling, but sounds like lasiks) which did not really work, but they are going to try it again tomorrow. They also gave him lactulose (sp?) for bowel movement. They continue to monitor his pain, and as he mentioned, they increased his patch and also the breakthrough.
They finally started his feeds, at a very slow rate, but better that than nothing. I hope that once he gets some nutrition into him, he'll have a bit more energy. He went almost 6 days on only iv hydration and ice chips. No wonder he's weak as a kitten!! He's also on a fluid diet, so he can have juice, ice cream and broth!!
I guess that's it for my update, I really just wanted to let you all know how very touched I was to read all of your posts. You are all such wonderful people, and I truly wish I could meet and hug each and every one of you.
Much love,
Chantal
GLAD to see you posting Chantal.
Hang in there, WE are ALL here for you!!!!!!
ALL the love possible. And, get some rest!
Love,
Eric0 -
just so sadoriontj said:Deeply saddened
I am so deeply sadden by your post. You are incredibly brave Lee. I wish for you two peace in the time to come.
jan
Dear Lee and Chantal,
I have followed your journey and always felt a special kinship because my husband, Ron, is from Ridgeway, Ontario and I always kept him abreast of what was going on with you and sometimes the flawed medical system in Canada. I am beyond sad at seeing your post but so touched by your bravery and beautiful words. You both have been in my prayers and thoughts and hoping against hope it would go so much better for you. You both have been such an inspiration to all of us here and we all go on this journey with you. There should be no reason a person at the end experiences bad pain. There should be enough meds to keep you comfortable and hopefully have some special moments with Chantal and the rest of your family. Chantal, you will have to lobby furiously that the nurses and doctors do this for Lee. I have lost family and friends and they were made comfortable at the end. Many prayers still to be said for you. many hugs from us.
Donna700 -
LeeinLondon
LeeinLondon, There are no words to describe the sorrow I feel in my heart for you and Chantal. You and Chantal have touched my heart and so many others.
Love
Sal0
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