my mom has stage 4

oasissoul

I'm new here. I really need some positive energy and hope. My mom is my everything my best friend. Were inseprable. My life has been a trainwreck since I was 5. My dad is a former heroin addict who used all my familys money and almost lost his life with a infection. My mom stood by him. He constanly demeans my mom and me. He calls me ignorant, stupid, a ****, and pretty much every name in the book. Just before her diagnoses he told her to go to hell and wished she die. My grandmother has alhzemiers. My mom has been in a car accident that broke her hip and knee so she's disabled and was getting ready for sugery when she found out. She had breast cancer and colorectal cancer surgeries back in 09. She didn't have to have radiation or chemo. Now though she has been diagnosed with stage 4 rectal cancer that is spread to her lungs. She just started on chemo. The first oncologist said she had 2 years to live at a local hospitial. We went to a top hospitial and they say she got a 50/50. I'm terrified I'm going to lose her I'm still in school. She not even 60. I had a hard life. We never semm to have any luck, her accidents who were someonelses fault haven't went to court its been 5 years going on 6. My moms strong she always been my rock I don't now what I'd do without her. I cry everytime someone mentions the word cancer. I know I'm lucky to have known her and had the best mom. I know they are far worse off people than me it just seems like the bad stuff never stops. I probably sound pathectic and whiny but the people around me act like she's going to die and don't want to discuss it. I never met my grandfather, he died of pancreatic cancer before I was born, my mom took care of him the entire time. I'm am only child and my familys constantly at odds with each other. I don't have anyone other than my mom who really cares about me or loves. The others are all for show. I don't want to go see a therapist because I can't face a total stranger and tell her my problems. I don't even know why I'm in a forum I guess I just need to know somelse is going through the same thing and can give me ascvice or hope. My father doesnkt and even tried to strangle me when I was little he says he cares in front of strangers but at home he is a coldhearted mean person who find pleasure in torture others. Not to get religious I'm noe against anybodys religion or lack there of but I used to strongly believe and I still do believe in god but I feel like I'm waisting my time in praying. It just doesn't seem like there's a brighter day. Please help.

keystone

Bless your heart sweetie! I
Bless your heart sweetie! I know its overwhelming at times and this cancer is tough. I'm glad to hear you have not lost total faith cause that has been whats got me through the toughest times in my husbands cancer.

You said your mom was seen in a top hospital and that is good that you all have seeked out a second opinion. Your mom is so fortunate to have you by her side through this! There is a good number of people that have been on this forum that have stage 4 cancer that is 5+ years out and doing great. There are several procedures that can be done in many cases to treat spots on the lungs. Please have hope and and please understand that once the treatment begins usually its a little easier to take one step at a time. I will add both you and your mom to my prayers and I would strongly suggest that you find someone to talk and confide in. You will probably find yourself holding back your feelings from your mom and you need someone that can listen to you sweetie! You can private message me and I'll certainly talk with you at any time. To private message you go to CSN email and its pretty straight forward from there.

Please keep us posted and the people on here are great support! Hugs and prayers Stephanie