I am so sick of this cancer sh***!

fatmomma

I am a 4-year kidney cancer survivor. My mother is fighting colon cancer now. This cancer crap is taking over my life. I'm depressed, scared, and pissed off all at the same time. Everyday I am hearing someone being dx with some kind of cancer. WHEN IS IT GONNA STOP? People wake up and lets fight this together. Some of you don't know what it's like hearing "you have cancer." Well I know, and boy does it ever knock you down! I pray that all of my friends and family members will never hear these words. Instead of buying that new outfit or new electronic gadget that you just have to have why not donating that money to help find a cure for cancer. Mom, Debbie Humphries Baker, Maryetta, CSN members, and many others I know that are fighting for survival I pray for you every day.

fatmomma

hope I didn't make anyone mad
had to get it off my chest.

wolfen

fatmomma said:

hope I didn't make anyone mad
had to get it off my chest.

Fatmomma
I certainly don't think you made anyone mad. The feelings you've expressed are felt by many here. For some reason, CANCER is the gift that just keeps on giving to so many fighters here and elsewhere. Wouldn't it be so great if you could just return it to wherever it came from. Unfortunately, I guess no one knows exactly where it comes from.

I'm sure there are many brilliant minds at work trying to find a "cure". It just seems that it is taking too long, especially when you or a loved one is waiting patiently.

It is a helpless feeling to know that you can't help your Mom, and I can't help my daughter. We have only love and support to offer, and a GIANT wish that the "cure" will be found soon.

My best to you,

Wolfen

Geri1959

wolfen said:

Fatmomma
I certainly don't think you made anyone mad. The feelings you've expressed are felt by many here. For some reason, CANCER is the gift that just keeps on giving to so many fighters here and elsewhere. Wouldn't it be so great if you could just return it to wherever it came from. Unfortunately, I guess no one knows exactly where it comes from.

I'm sure there are many brilliant minds at work trying to find a "cure". It just seems that it is taking too long, especially when you or a loved one is waiting patiently.

It is a helpless feeling to know that you can't help your Mom, and I can't help my daughter. We have only love and support to offer, and a GIANT wish that the "cure" will be found soon.

My best to you,

Wolfen

I agree
just lost my husband on October 5th 2011, DX end of May, and gone to soon he was 50, and I felt helpless, and I am terrified to hear of another person DX with this horrible cancer..I feel it is a death sentence Thanks for listening thanks for sharing

maglets

Geri1959 said:

I agree
just lost my husband on October 5th 2011, DX end of May, and gone to soon he was 50, and I felt helpless, and I am terrified to hear of another person DX with this horrible cancer..I feel it is a death sentence Thanks for listening thanks for sharing

cancer
thoought I'd share a little story with you about my daughter and her response to my stage 4 cancer. When i had my first liver resection there was some doubt if I would survive.....then after jess nursed me into recovery there were more lesions on the liver. This summer she has been suffering from depression and just went to see a therapist yesterday. He said sometimes when a loved one is faced so much with death that it doesn't even matter if I died or not.....jess is still mourning whether i died or not.

I thought this was an interesting reflection of the power of cancer that we and our loved ones face every day....

it is indeed a frightening disease....

love to all ....maggie

PhillieG

maglets said:

cancer
thoought I'd share a little story with you about my daughter and her response to my stage 4 cancer. When i had my first liver resection there was some doubt if I would survive.....then after jess nursed me into recovery there were more lesions on the liver. This summer she has been suffering from depression and just went to see a therapist yesterday. He said sometimes when a loved one is faced so much with death that it doesn't even matter if I died or not.....jess is still mourning whether i died or not.

I thought this was an interesting reflection of the power of cancer that we and our loved ones face every day....

it is indeed a frightening disease....

love to all ....maggie

Very good point Maggie
When my Dad had a stroke when I was 18, it took another 14 years before he was totally taken away from me.
I lost a huge part of him that I never get back when I was 18.

PhillieG

I think we can say "****" now...
I hear you loud and clear.
The best we all can do is to make others aware and to give what we can to help figure cancer out.
Awareness is FREE yet it's truly priceless.
-p

laurettas

fatmomma said:

hope I didn't make anyone mad
had to get it off my chest.

Ditto
I share your frustration for sure. I have also been thinking about finding sources of money to help with research. Have read a few really hopeful articles about vaccines, etc. but the research facilities are having a difficult time getting funding. They aren't working on a new drug for pharma to make lots of money from so no one wants to fund anything. Sometimes I think we need to inform people about helping to fund some of these projects rather than give to "cancer" charities generally since I think their money goes mostly for new drugs that aren't always that helpful.

Brenda Bricco

PhillieG said:

I think we can say "****" now...
I hear you loud and clear.
The best we all can do is to make others aware and to give what we can to help figure cancer out.
Awareness is FREE yet it's truly priceless.
-p

I know what it is like to be
I know what it is like to be slammed by a cancer diagnoses. I was dx Jan 2001 with melanoma and have had no reoccurrnce since. My husband was dx stage iv crc Feb 2011 and I have be mouring since day one. My life is a whirl wind and sometimes I don't even know if I am in reality some days. I have the whole gammet of emotions i.e. fear, anger, sadness, depression and feeling helpless. This is hell on everyone, I will never be the same.

Kimo Sabe

Brenda Bricco said:

I know what it is like to be
I know what it is like to be slammed by a cancer diagnoses. I was dx Jan 2001 with melanoma and have had no reoccurrnce since. My husband was dx stage iv crc Feb 2011 and I have be mouring since day one. My life is a whirl wind and sometimes I don't even know if I am in reality some days. I have the whole gammet of emotions i.e. fear, anger, sadness, depression and feeling helpless. This is hell on everyone, I will never be the same.

It's my cancer and l'll cry if I want too.

You would cry too if it happened to you.

We all have the thoughts that we know we would be better to let go of . Easier said than done. I think if there is something that is bothering you it's better to say it than to hide it and deny  its existence.

Norm

maglets

Kimo Sabe said:

It's my cancer and l'll cry if I want too.

You would cry too if it happened to you.

We all have the thoughts that we know we would be better to let go of . Easier said than done. I think if there is something that is bothering you it's better to say it than to hide it and deny  its existence.

Norm

ahhh thanks
ahh Normie....you are showin your age with that song....

haha I loved it.....have a hug

I agree...always better to say it out loud...least that is how I operate....not everyone does

best wishes

mags

Psalm 91

Brenda Bricco said:

I know what it is like to be
I know what it is like to be slammed by a cancer diagnoses. I was dx Jan 2001 with melanoma and have had no reoccurrnce since. My husband was dx stage iv crc Feb 2011 and I have be mouring since day one. My life is a whirl wind and sometimes I don't even know if I am in reality some days. I have the whole gammet of emotions i.e. fear, anger, sadness, depression and feeling helpless. This is hell on everyone, I will never be the same.

fear, anger, sadness, depression and feeling helpless...
I've felt those feelings too since December of 2006 when diagnosed with stage IV colon cancer. The emotions are the hardest part of dealing with cancer, almost harder than the nausea was. But, surviving has brought moments of euphoria too, like when I saw my Christmas Tree lit for the first time after my first surgery and every year since then as I make it to another Christmas.

I have a cousin who has had Multiple Sclerosis since her late twenties. She is in her seventies now and in a nursing home. I think she has been in a wheelchair for about thirty years. She has never fought it that I could see. She seemed to just go with the flow. The first card she sent me after my surgery in her shakey almost illegible handwriting said, "I may have MS but MS doesn't have me." Cancer can be a blessing and sometimes a curse, but I just remembered that and I think if we can stand up to it emotionally, maybe it won't hurt us so much.

As difficult as cancer is for the patient, it is more difficult for the spouse or parent because they feel so helpless. For me, it helps to remind myself that I am not in control. When I went through humiliating experiences of not making it to the bathroom in time,etc., I realized that I was learning humility. I couldn't help it. I wasn't in control. And then it wasn't so bad. Lately, I'm quick to anger about some of the side effects of the chemo and contemplating quitting or going to Cancer Treatment Centers. I'm thankful that I found this forum and can see that others are struggling too. And I guess remembering those humiliating things is helping me to realize that these are actually better days.

Kimo Sabe

maglets said:

ahhh thanks
ahh Normie....you are showin your age with that song....

haha I loved it.....have a hug

I agree...always better to say it out loud...least that is how I operate....not everyone does

best wishes

mags

Showing my age
Yes. . I could say i showed you mine now show me yours, but you already did. A lot of us here round that age. except for young Craig. Reading his history tells me he has more miles.
Norm

fatmomma

Psalm 91 said:

fear, anger, sadness, depression and feeling helpless...
I've felt those feelings too since December of 2006 when diagnosed with stage IV colon cancer. The emotions are the hardest part of dealing with cancer, almost harder than the nausea was. But, surviving has brought moments of euphoria too, like when I saw my Christmas Tree lit for the first time after my first surgery and every year since then as I make it to another Christmas.

I have a cousin who has had Multiple Sclerosis since her late twenties. She is in her seventies now and in a nursing home. I think she has been in a wheelchair for about thirty years. She has never fought it that I could see. She seemed to just go with the flow. The first card she sent me after my surgery in her shakey almost illegible handwriting said, "I may have MS but MS doesn't have me." Cancer can be a blessing and sometimes a curse, but I just remembered that and I think if we can stand up to it emotionally, maybe it won't hurt us so much.

As difficult as cancer is for the patient, it is more difficult for the spouse or parent because they feel so helpless. For me, it helps to remind myself that I am not in control. When I went through humiliating experiences of not making it to the bathroom in time,etc., I realized that I was learning humility. I couldn't help it. I wasn't in control. And then it wasn't so bad. Lately, I'm quick to anger about some of the side effects of the chemo and contemplating quitting or going to Cancer Treatment Centers. I'm thankful that I found this forum and can see that others are struggling too. And I guess remembering those humiliating things is helping me to realize that these are actually better days.

Love ya'll
Ya'll are so strong! Love all of you. Sometimes I think the person with cancer is much stronger than their friends and family.
FM

bspangler47

fatmomma said:

Love ya'll
Ya'll are so strong! Love all of you. Sometimes I think the person with cancer is much stronger than their friends and family.
FM

Feeliings
I finally am back on this website. I am also in remission from colorectal cancer. But have probelms from side effects of radiation and chemo. Trust me I going thru different emotions(sp) every day. The other day I was screaming and crying. Then my oldest daughter also was upset, crying and asking me why I didnt go to the dr earlier (went in Jan 2009, surgery in March 2009). she is going thru different changes also.

janderson1964

I am so sick of all this
I am so sick of all this useless tchnology whith computers, smatphones and etc. But we can' find a cure to cancer. THis countries priorities are so screwed up and it make me very bitter. I will survie and beat this thing not just for my beloved wife but out of spite to cancer and "Me first "society as a whole.

janderson1964

Psalm 91 said:

fear, anger, sadness, depression and feeling helpless...
I've felt those feelings too since December of 2006 when diagnosed with stage IV colon cancer. The emotions are the hardest part of dealing with cancer, almost harder than the nausea was. But, surviving has brought moments of euphoria too, like when I saw my Christmas Tree lit for the first time after my first surgery and every year since then as I make it to another Christmas.

I have a cousin who has had Multiple Sclerosis since her late twenties. She is in her seventies now and in a nursing home. I think she has been in a wheelchair for about thirty years. She has never fought it that I could see. She seemed to just go with the flow. The first card she sent me after my surgery in her shakey almost illegible handwriting said, "I may have MS but MS doesn't have me." Cancer can be a blessing and sometimes a curse, but I just remembered that and I think if we can stand up to it emotionally, maybe it won't hurt us so much.

As difficult as cancer is for the patient, it is more difficult for the spouse or parent because they feel so helpless. For me, it helps to remind myself that I am not in control. When I went through humiliating experiences of not making it to the bathroom in time,etc., I realized that I was learning humility. I couldn't help it. I wasn't in control. And then it wasn't so bad. Lately, I'm quick to anger about some of the side effects of the chemo and contemplating quitting or going to Cancer Treatment Centers. I'm thankful that I found this forum and can see that others are struggling too. And I guess remembering those humiliating things is helping me to realize that these are actually better days.

Frar, anger sadness
I agree with youj Psalm 91. I am a patient. Although it is hell I rember the panin on my wife face when I was violently throwing form from chemo snd shr eoulf desperately ask me if there was anything she could which she new she coulcn't. Then recently the found a couple of spots after being 4 years NED and the look on her face just killed me. It was wrose that hearing the news from the docot.

janderson1964

Psalm 91 said:

fear, anger, sadness, depression and feeling helpless...
I've felt those feelings too since December of 2006 when diagnosed with stage IV colon cancer. The emotions are the hardest part of dealing with cancer, almost harder than the nausea was. But, surviving has brought moments of euphoria too, like when I saw my Christmas Tree lit for the first time after my first surgery and every year since then as I make it to another Christmas.

I have a cousin who has had Multiple Sclerosis since her late twenties. She is in her seventies now and in a nursing home. I think she has been in a wheelchair for about thirty years. She has never fought it that I could see. She seemed to just go with the flow. The first card she sent me after my surgery in her shakey almost illegible handwriting said, "I may have MS but MS doesn't have me." Cancer can be a blessing and sometimes a curse, but I just remembered that and I think if we can stand up to it emotionally, maybe it won't hurt us so much.

As difficult as cancer is for the patient, it is more difficult for the spouse or parent because they feel so helpless. For me, it helps to remind myself that I am not in control. When I went through humiliating experiences of not making it to the bathroom in time,etc., I realized that I was learning humility. I couldn't help it. I wasn't in control. And then it wasn't so bad. Lately, I'm quick to anger about some of the side effects of the chemo and contemplating quitting or going to Cancer Treatment Centers. I'm thankful that I found this forum and can see that others are struggling too. And I guess remembering those humiliating things is helping me to realize that these are actually better days.

Frar, anger sadness
I agree with youj Psalm 91. I am a patient. Although it is hell I rember the panin on my wife face when I was violently throwing form from chemo snd shr eoulf desperately ask me if there was anything she could which she new she coulcn't. Then recently the found a couple of spots after being 4 years NED and the look on her face just killed me. It was wrose that hearing the news from the docot.

bspangler47

janderson1964 said:

I am so sick of all this
I am so sick of all this useless tchnology whith computers, smatphones and etc. But we can' find a cure to cancer. THis countries priorities are so screwed up and it make me very bitter. I will survie and beat this thing not just for my beloved wife but out of spite to cancer and "Me first "society as a whole.

I am sick of all this
I totally agree with you. All these yrs cancer has been around. Ppl donating and raising money still never enough. Makes u wonder it is all about the money. When I was going thru radiation another Patient that worked for a Pharacomital(sp), sorry cant spell it right. She said its all about money the companies are making millions