Make Craig Laugh

buckeye2
buckeye2 Member Posts: 428 Member
in Colorectal Cancer #1
Craig said in his most recent post that cancer was trying to wipe the smile off his face. Well I thought it is our job to try and put that smile back on so if anything funny has happened to you or you've heard a good joke, post it here.
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  • buckeye2
    buckeye2 Member Posts: 428 Member
    #2
    Scooter Boys
    This week during a JH volleyball game two brothers, a 10 and 8 year old where in an area of the school they weren't suppose to be. In that area is a handicapped teacher's scooter that is parked outside her classroom when she goes home for the day. Those two boys were joyriding throughout the vacant area of the school for probably 20 minutes hitting walls and even breaking a window. The security tapes are comical. I am saving them for Commencement 2020. Lisa
  • buckeye2
    buckeye2 Member Posts: 428 Member
    #3
    I am in the completing
    I am in the completing session #25 today of radiation for breast cancer. The radiation caused a rash an my chest that was itching horribly. The doctor prescribed heavy doses of steroids to help. It cleared up my itch but now my testicles are sticking to my leg. Lisa
  • buckeye2
    buckeye2 Member Posts: 428 Member
    #4
    The last wish of a dying man
    The last wish of a dying man to his wife was for her to consent to the threesome about which he had always fantasized. She asked who he had in mind. He replied, "How bout that girl Mandy you work with and one of her friends".
  • wolfen
    wolfen Member Posts: 1,324 Member
    #5
    Great Idea!!
    Now this may not seem too funny,but I got a small laugh from my JBG over the phone.(She couldn't laugh too hard. Had just come home from having liver resection.

    I am not real good with hand tools, so when I try to help hubby with stuff, it's kind of like Laurel and Hardy. We were cleaning up some old boards around the cabin yard to saw them up for firewood. So I decided to hammer the old nails out from the back side to be able to pull them out easily. I laid one on the edge of the porch and promptly managed to nail it to the porch. Found out that nail heads will nail right into the porch. I know not to do that one again. Wonder why he wouldn't let me climb to the top of the ladder to paint the chimney??? LOL

    Mags,

    Don't laugh at me too hard!!!

    Luv,

    Wolfen
  • High Desert
    High Desert Member Posts: 4
    #6
    wolfen said:

    Great Idea!!
    Now this may not seem too funny,but I got a small laugh from my JBG over the phone.(She couldn't laugh too hard. Had just come home from having liver resection.

    I am not real good with hand tools, so when I try to help hubby with stuff, it's kind of like Laurel and Hardy. We were cleaning up some old boards around the cabin yard to saw them up for firewood. So I decided to hammer the old nails out from the back side to be able to pull them out easily. I laid one on the edge of the porch and promptly managed to nail it to the porch. Found out that nail heads will nail right into the porch. I know not to do that one again. Wonder why he wouldn't let me climb to the top of the ladder to paint the chimney??? LOL

    Mags,

    Don't laugh at me too hard!!!

    Luv,

    Wolfen

    My Sister
    A few years ago my sisters co-worker whose husband demolishes houses asked her to go with her to go through this house they were tearing down because they could take what ever they wanted before it was destroyed. My sister was building her new house and thought she might get some great stuff for thier new house. So they went to the house on lunch hour to scope it out. The front door was open and they went in and my sister said are you sure they are just leaving everything, it's like they just walked out and left everything. Her co-worker said yes these rich people just walk out all the time (this was in Park City Utah). So my sister said this is weird they even leave their family pictures? So she saw a coffee mug she really liked and her friend took the telephone and they would come back that night and get the appliances. When they got back to work her co-workers husband called and wanted to know why they didn't come to the house. They went to the wrong address and burgled the other house. My sister almost pulled the file drawer out on the floor when her boss (who knew what happened) said the police had just pulled up. I still wonder what the residents thought when they couldn,t find their phone or coffee mug.
  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member
    #7
    Thank You for the Post, Lori:)
    Ha-ha + Grins and Giggles!

    Thank you one and all, I appreciate these stories.

    -Craig
  • laurettas
    laurettas Member Posts: 372
    #8
    Another true story
    Some friends of ours lived south of the local city and on their way home were several billboards depicting the effects of meth use.

    One summer they went on vacation and stayed at a bed and breakfast on a Saturday night. They had breakfast with some other people who were staying at the B&B and the other woman mentioned that their family needed to look around town to try to find a local Methodist church to attend.

    After finishing breakfast and heading on their way, one of our friends' daughters spoke up and said to her parents, "Gee those people don't look like Methodists. They have good teeth!"
  • herdizziness
    herdizziness Member Posts: 3,624 Member
    #9
    Buying for Christmas
    When my daughter was 14 and very fashion conscious I asked her what she would like for Christmas, she said, "well, it's expensive but anything by Bill Wurllinger. So I went to Macy's and asked if they had any Bill Wurllinger clothes and she said no, they did not. I replied that they were quite the "in" thing at the moment, and the lady floor salesperson told me she had never heard of them. So I proceeded to the other side of the mall and inquired about Bill Wurllinger clothes again at Sears and once again the salesperson had never heard of this popular clothing designer Bill Wurllinger, not to be deterred I went to every store in the darn mall and no one knew anything about Bill Wurllinger. I finally bought what the lady at Macy's told me was a popular clothing designer with the kids and resigned myself that I had failed to get my daughter what she wanted most, but came up with second best. So at Christmas as my daughter prepared to open her package, I told her quite sadly I tried my best but I couldn't find any Bill Wurllinger clothes anywhere.
    She said "Whose Bill Wurllinger??", and just then had the package open and screamed with delight, "Ohhh, Mom, you did get me Tommy Hillfinger!! Just what I wanted!!"
    Winter Marie
    (some day I'm going to design clothes and call them Bill Wurllinger's LOL)
  • taraHK
    taraHK Member Posts: 1,952 Member
    #10
    After my first surgery, my
    After my first surgery, my sons made a homemade 'get well' card. My youngest son, having heard the surgery was successful, wrote "Goodgratulations!" Now I wonder why it was ever spelt any other way....

    love
    Tara
  • TMac52
    TMac52 Member Posts: 352
    #11
    taraHK said:

    After my first surgery, my
    After my first surgery, my sons made a homemade 'get well' card. My youngest son, having heard the surgery was successful, wrote "Goodgratulations!" Now I wonder why it was ever spelt any other way....

    love
    Tara

    Hey Craig
    I once knew a man named Bad Billy Bad ****........that dude was a tough as they come. Scared the **** out of me, and also helped scare the cancer away. As tough as he was there was another side to him that helped me smile and fed me important information that I so needed at that time in my life. I will never forget Bad Billy and all he stands for and will be forever grateful for the smile he was able to put on my face in a time when I didnt think I could smile. Maybe you should hunt him down and do a little sparring he'll kick your **** but just might make you smile as well.
    Peace my brother,
    Tom

    (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((craig))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member
    #12
    TMac52 said:

    Hey Craig
    I once knew a man named Bad Billy Bad ****........that dude was a tough as they come. Scared the **** out of me, and also helped scare the cancer away. As tough as he was there was another side to him that helped me smile and fed me important information that I so needed at that time in my life. I will never forget Bad Billy and all he stands for and will be forever grateful for the smile he was able to put on my face in a time when I didnt think I could smile. Maybe you should hunt him down and do a little sparring he'll kick your **** but just might make you smile as well.
    Peace my brother,
    Tom

    (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((craig))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

    From Big Billy....
    Tom,

    Big Billy Bad **** says "thanks for remembering."

    He's always around when WE need him, isn't he?

    You made me grin and smile with rememberances of this courageous character. I'll be honest, he scares me too, LOL!

    Big Billy stands for truth - justice - and the Texan way!

    Thanks, Tom!

    And thanks to everyone again. It's nice to read stuff from from you and about you.

    With much love and gratitude,

    -Big Billy
  • pepebcn
    pepebcn Member Posts: 6,331 Member
    #13
    Sundanceh said:

    From Big Billy....
    Tom,

    Big Billy Bad **** says "thanks for remembering."

    He's always around when WE need him, isn't he?

    You made me grin and smile with rememberances of this courageous character. I'll be honest, he scares me too, LOL!

    Big Billy stands for truth - justice - and the Texan way!

    Thanks, Tom!

    And thanks to everyone again. It's nice to read stuff from from you and about you.

    With much love and gratitude,

    -Big Billy

    Dificult to me in my poor English to explain a fun story all i
    can do is :):):):):):):):):)! cheer up my brother!.
    Get fun!
    Jugs my friend! jugs? told you my English wasn't very good! mean hugs!:)
  • pluckey
    pluckey Member Posts: 484 Member
    #14
    An elderly man is stopped by
    An elderly man is stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and is asked where he is going at this time of night.

    The man replies, "I am on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body,as well as smoking and staying out late."

    The officer then asks, "Really? Who is giving that lecture at this time of night?"



    The man replies, "That would be my wife."
  • buckeye2
    buckeye2 Member Posts: 428 Member
    #15
    pluckey said:

    An elderly man is stopped by
    An elderly man is stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and is asked where he is going at this time of night.

    The man replies, "I am on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body,as well as smoking and staying out late."

    The officer then asks, "Really? Who is giving that lecture at this time of night?"



    The man replies, "That would be my wife."

    That's funny. Thanks for
    That's funny. Thanks for all your stories. They made me laugh. Lisa
  • ddpekks
    ddpekks Member Posts: 162
    #16
    Old Age Sucks....
    Elderly man to wife: "What ever happened to our sexual relations?"

    Elderly woman to husband: "I don't know. Don't think we even got a Christmas card from them this year."

    ((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))
  • lizzydavis
    lizzydavis Member Posts: 893
    #17
    ddpekks said:

    Old Age Sucks....
    Elderly man to wife: "What ever happened to our sexual relations?"

    Elderly woman to husband: "I don't know. Don't think we even got a Christmas card from them this year."

    ((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))

    Just a few...
    A little boy went up to his father and asked: 'Dad, where did my intelligence come from?'
    The father replied. ?'Well, son, you must have got it from your mother, cause I still have mine.'
    ---------------------------------------------------------
    ‘Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully,' the divorce court Judge said, 'And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week,'
    'That's very fair, your honor,' the husband said. 'And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself.'
    ---------------------------------------------------------
    A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room, took the husband aside, and said, 'I don't like the looks of your wife at all.'
    'Me neither doc,' said the husband. 'But she's a great cook and really good with the kids.'
  • tootsie1
    tootsie1 Member Posts: 5,044 Member
    #18
    This happened to me!
    Okay, I once went to the hairdresser's on a Saturday morning. It was a bit chilly, so I grabbed my jacket out of the dryer and went on my merry way. Had my hair done, chatting the whole time with the guy who owned the shop. Stepped outside and ran into a nice couple I knew and had a great chat with them. As they walked away, I reached up to scratch my left shoulder. That was the exact moment that I realized that the whole morning, a pair of JADE GREEN BIKINI UNDERWEAR had been stuck on the velcro on my jacket!! True story...

    *hugs*
    Gail
  • herdizziness
    herdizziness Member Posts: 3,624 Member
    #19
    tootsie1 said:

    This happened to me!
    Okay, I once went to the hairdresser's on a Saturday morning. It was a bit chilly, so I grabbed my jacket out of the dryer and went on my merry way. Had my hair done, chatting the whole time with the guy who owned the shop. Stepped outside and ran into a nice couple I knew and had a great chat with them. As they walked away, I reached up to scratch my left shoulder. That was the exact moment that I realized that the whole morning, a pair of JADE GREEN BIKINI UNDERWEAR had been stuck on the velcro on my jacket!! True story...

    *hugs*
    Gail

    Gail
    ROFLMAO!!!
  • buckeye2
    buckeye2 Member Posts: 428 Member
    #20
    tootsie1 said:

    This happened to me!
    Okay, I once went to the hairdresser's on a Saturday morning. It was a bit chilly, so I grabbed my jacket out of the dryer and went on my merry way. Had my hair done, chatting the whole time with the guy who owned the shop. Stepped outside and ran into a nice couple I knew and had a great chat with them. As they walked away, I reached up to scratch my left shoulder. That was the exact moment that I realized that the whole morning, a pair of JADE GREEN BIKINI UNDERWEAR had been stuck on the velcro on my jacket!! True story...

    *hugs*
    Gail

    They probably just thought
    They probably just thought you carried a spare. You might've started a new trend. Lisa
  • pokismom
    pokismom Member Posts: 153
    #21
    Garden Hose
    Hey Craig,
    I was trying to think of something funny and you know I haven't thought about this in a long time. I was in high school, and a friend of mine and I decided to go to the mall. I had my moms car and was driving down the highway when I looked to the side and this man was waving at me, well I'm trying to figure out who this guy is. So I turn to my friend and ask her do we know this person and in the corner of my eye I see something flapping in the back of the car. I decided to pull over and I get out of the car and there wrapped around my tire is the garden hose. I dragged it all the way from my house onto the freeway about a mile. We were laughing so hard we couldn't get back inti the car. Those were the days huh, oh to be young and stupid!!!! Hope I made you laugh!
    Hugs to Kim!
    Aloha,
    Donna

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