2 Years and Counting -- Getting my life, my pretty and my groove back!!

VickiSam
VickiSam Member Posts: 9,079 Member
August 14, 2011 ...

I had breast cancer, but breast cancer no longer defines me. I am a breast cancer SURVIVOR!


Another year has passed ... There is hope for getting back to our 'normal', or my new normal as many of us will never look at life thru those rose colored glasses. I no longer take anyone, or anything for granted. I stop to smell the roses, and taste each cup of coffee. Treasure time with family, friends and enjoy trying to regain my strength, and rid myself of this chronic fatigue.

I now walk 2.5 to 3 miles 4 x a week, up from my 1/2 miles walks this time last year. Gym visits and work outs continue, as well. I've signed up for 2 College courses -- starting school on 8/31 -- purchased a 'pink' over the shoulder back pack in preparation of my first day of school. Yoga is something I can not master, not so limber yet .. WHO said, Yoga was relaxing??? I have resumed my Culinary classes -my husband, and friends are enjoying the fruits of my labor. Painting classes are no longer a passion of mine. I want to be free, and allowed to move about freely. Played a round of golf 2 weeks ago, not too excited about golf any longer.



Last year at this time, I wrote this post :)

=====================
August 14, 2010

First: thanks to all my breast cancer sisters for being out there. You women have given me more hope and valuable information than any of my doctors ever could. I just wanted to share my gratitude, feelings and thoughts.

18 weeks of consecutive chemo therapy -- ending on December 18, 2009 - dose dense chemo treatment plan .. I made it ... crawling to the finish line :)

1 year of Herceptin -- ending August 20, 2010
Lumpectomy -- 8-10-09
Breast Cancer diagnosis 8-14-09
Bilateral Mastectomy January 12, 2010
Vacation to Grand Canyon April 6th

Emergency surgery and 5 day hospital stay 4-18-10 to removed right tissue expander infection by staph (Staph infection and where or how I contacted is still a mystery to this day - My Infectious Disease Doctor has ordered me to stay in the US for the next 3 years // no traveling outside US)

6 weeks with 1 fully expanded TE, and 1 breast completely flatten - Unbearable and emotional
Surgery to add a new right expander - 5-22-10
Exchange surgery -- 7-21-10 (no nipples, no areola) Incision scars very visible, and raised (due to the many cuts)
Right breast dropped -- 9-28-10 .. another surgery to 'lift' Barbie.. Bambi (lefty) is good to go.

8 major surgeries in 13 months ... too many in my humble opinion.!!


Severe reactions to my chemo drugs (TCH) -- insomnia,depression and chronic fatigue appeared to be my only friends for so long. I cried daily, had many very dark days and nights, I did have family around - but found myself lonely and unable to convey my feelings. I was no longer the Vicki I remembered.

I am a Breast Cancer Survivor, NED paid me a visit on January 17, 2010. I still find myself very emotional, I don't cry not as much, its just very hard to accept what has happen in my life. I try to be positive but that has its moments. I always wonder will it come back, the dreaded "C" word. My husband is very supportive of all of emotional craziness, as my Oncologist gave us statistics from my prognosis this past Friday. I face several reconstructive surgery, and no health insurance at the end of September 2010.

My next step and goal -- do all that I can to affect a good outcome (exercise, meditation, massage, foods etc) but I also accept that the outcome is ultimately not in my hands, and I am trying to“live in the here and now. However, I do worry that going back to my old life and work and pretending like nothing happened is denial rather than acceptance and that if I don't use this time "wisely" that I will regret it later. I am adopting my teenager's sense of invincibility, with slight caution!

Putting 1 foot in front of the other :-))

WE ARE WARRIORS!!!!

I adore and LOVE you all,

Vicki Sam
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Comments

  • New Flower
    New Flower Member Posts: 4,294
    What a great story! Congratulations!!!!
    Vicki,
    so happy to see you have been getting your life back. College classes sound so exciting an I wish you good time there. Congratulations and hugs!
    Olga
  • aisling8
    aisling8 Member Posts: 1,627 Member

    What a great story! Congratulations!!!!
    Vicki,
    so happy to see you have been getting your life back. College classes sound so exciting an I wish you good time there. Congratulations and hugs!
    Olga

    Pretty
    Inside and out -- that's you:)

    I want a first day of school picture, you and your pink backpack!!

    You rock!

    xoxo
    Victoria
  • Dawne.Hope
    Dawne.Hope Member Posts: 823
    wow!
    congratulations, vickisam! You're one of the first warriors I met on this site ... along with moopy and chenheart and other dear sisters.

    It's strange because the last couple of weeks I've felt so sad, not sleeping well ... and last night I was prompted to pull out my datebook from two years ago. Two years ago, TODAY, August 14, was when I was diagnosed with cancer. Emotional memories are powerful ... I did not have this day committed to memory like the day of my DMX and exchange surgery. Anyway ... when I see how far you've come, it rings true with me too. It's been a long, hard road ... one I'd never choose or want to walk down again but I'm so thankful for you and other dear ones on this site.

    VickiSam ... always the encourager! Thank you! [[[[[vickisam]]]]]]

    So glad you've come this far!
    So glad you've been here to encoruage me and so many others!
    So glad that you're getting your groove back, your pretty on, and your life back.

    Cherish it!

    Much Love! xo
    dh
  • mollyz
    mollyz Member Posts: 756 Member
    Wonderful news!!
    I feel the same i announced today at church that i was cancer free I've known since May but i just felt it was time to tell somebody it felt so good to tell it.I'm trying to get back to normal also but im in alot of pain when i get up once i get going im ok i finally started taking the lyrica and im not really seeing a difference yet it's not been a month yet so time will tell im trying to get my strength back and my stamina it's hard when your body hurts,I recently started going topless and people love my new look but im not comfortable with it yet at church i think i need a new out fit that i really feel good in and get my body back in shape. I'm going to try now that school starts tomorrow(yah) my boys are 14 and 20 yrs. old college starts thursday, but there around me all the time smothering me.So here's to trying to get back to normal #(having a peice of whole wheat banana bread).lol MOLLYZ
  • gami43
    gami43 Member Posts: 281

    What a great story! Congratulations!!!!
    Vicki,
    so happy to see you have been getting your life back. College classes sound so exciting an I wish you good time there. Congratulations and hugs!
    Olga

    Your plans for the coming
    Your plans for the coming year sound so exciting. I am so
    happy for you and all the progress you've made. As you have
    healed you have learned and that is what I am trying to do.
    You are an inspiration and I thank you for sharing. May God
    bless you as you continue to go forward.

    Luv,
    Teresa
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    The adoration flows right back to you, my dear!!!!
    Congrats on the anniversary! And many more to come!!!

    BIG dutch hugs, Kathi
  • rainbow4
    rainbow4 Member Posts: 137
    Congratulations!
    Your annual report was so inspiring and encouraging - thanks for sharing. I hit the two-year mark in April, and do feel like progress has been made. Keep it up, and have a great 3rd year.
    PS - I second the request for a "back to school" photo!
    -rainbow4
  • RE
    RE Member Posts: 4,591 Member
    Hallelujah!
    Oh Vicki, I must say that I totally LOVE THIS POST! I remember the later post, my heart simply soars that you are in the place you find yourself today. It is true we tend to re-evaluate what is important to us and rid ourselves of that which is taking our time. For me it was boating (I know it sounds wonderful and it was but I am a poor swimmer). My children were older and Colin and I rarely went anymore and when we did I found without the kids it just was not near as much fun...so after some chatting we decided to buy quads LOL!!! So now we all have them and we roam around the hill enjoying all that nature has to offer. I LOVE you too SURVIVOR VICKI SAM! CONGRATULATIONS!

    RE
  • Jean 0609
    Jean 0609 Member Posts: 2,462
    Love this post!
    Glad to hear that you got your groove back! xoxo, Jean
  • carkris
    carkris Member Posts: 4,553 Member
    Jean 0609 said:

    Love this post!
    Glad to hear that you got your groove back! xoxo, Jean

    VS and through it all you
    VS and through it all you found the love and strength to support and think of others here as well. so glad you got your groove back, But dont go to jamaica and find a new boy toy, your hubby will be mad.
  • Bella Luna
    Bella Luna Member Posts: 1,578 Member
    Sister VickiSam... You've come a long way! Congratulations to
    YOU! It's great to hear all your crowning achievements thus far. I know more milestones are sure to follow. Stay Strong in spirit, mind, and body!
  • grams2jc
    grams2jc Member Posts: 756
    So Glad for your anniversary!
    You are an inspiration to us all, and are always here to make us feel so much better and encourage us.

    So happy that you are feeling so much better and your list of activities makes me really tired just thinking about it.

    Glad you are finding new things you want to do and congratulations!

    Jennifer
  • smalldoggroomer
    smalldoggroomer Member Posts: 1,184
    Congratulations!! It is so
    Congratulations!! It is so nice to hear you are doing so well. I'm very happy for you. It sounds like you are living your life to the fullest. You deserve every bit of it Vicki. Take care I know you will, Kay
  • Mitzi333
    Mitzi333 Member Posts: 511 Member

    Congratulations!! It is so
    Congratulations!! It is so nice to hear you are doing so well. I'm very happy for you. It sounds like you are living your life to the fullest. You deserve every bit of it Vicki. Take care I know you will, Kay

    Congratulations Vicki!!!
    So happy that you're getting your groove back!!! How wonderful!!! You're an inspiration for us all. There IS life after BC.

    Thanks for sharing YOUR journey... good and bad days. It's GREAT to hear your positive news!!! And... the hope of More Good times ahead.

    Wishing YOU continued Joy on your journey as you experience your "New" Normal.

    Big Hugs~
    Mitzi ;0)
  • Gabe N Abby Mom
    Gabe N Abby Mom Member Posts: 2,413
    I wish I could give you a
    I wish I could give you a great big happy hug! You are so inspiring...I love that you are setting goals and living life. Thanks for showing us how to be a Warrior and a Survivor!!

    Hugs,

    Linda
  • Vigee
    Vigee Member Posts: 66
    Thank You
    Vicki,

    Thank you, so much, for sharing this. I am crying typing this.

    You very eloquently summed up this experience. I am in the trenches right now and it was great to hear words from someone who has made it out the other side.

    Keep getting your "pretty on"!

    <3 V
  • Kat11
    Kat11 Member Posts: 1,931 Member
    rainbow4 said:

    Congratulations!
    Your annual report was so inspiring and encouraging - thanks for sharing. I hit the two-year mark in April, and do feel like progress has been made. Keep it up, and have a great 3rd year.
    PS - I second the request for a "back to school" photo!
    -rainbow4

    Love It
    You and me girl same time line. Love the story. Hugs
    Kathy
  • lynn1950
    lynn1950 Member Posts: 2,570
    Thanks for sharing your
    Thanks for sharing your story with us. It took me three years to get there, but here we are on the other side and once again MORE than surviving...really living. Heartfelt congratulations, dear Vickie. xoxoxox Lynn
  • butterflylvr
    butterflylvr Member Posts: 944
    lynn1950 said:

    Thanks for sharing your
    Thanks for sharing your story with us. It took me three years to get there, but here we are on the other side and once again MORE than surviving...really living. Heartfelt congratulations, dear Vickie. xoxoxox Lynn

    And this is why we continue
    And this is why we continue the fight. I've weathered through the tough parts but still have a few procedures to go. I always had the mindset that life can get back to "our new normal" and it's really a pretty good feeling. Thanks for reiterating that message...

    Congratulation my friend and thank you for always being there for the rest of us.

    Hugs,
    Lorrie
  • natly15
    natly15 Member Posts: 1,941
    Wow Vicki I need to keep
    Wow Vicki I need to keep coming back to this post. You have always helped me and now you inspire me. Way to go!!! Thank you, thank you, thank you. :)