Rude people stories

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QuiltingMama123
QuiltingMama123 Member Posts: 124
in Breast Cancer #1
I'm posting this because someone else's story helped me (Chen's, maybe?) and I want to pay it forward. A few months ago, when I was just starting to grow some hair (buzz cut stage), I was waiting for my food at Panera's when an old man (definitely NOT a gentleman)came up to me and said that no matter how short I cut my hair I would never be a man. I was stunned and then I thought of all of you, dear Sisters, and I looked him right in the eye and said "Thank you. And I hope you never have to battle cancer." Fortunately, my food was ready, so I took it and left. I hope none of you ever face that type of insensitivity, but if you do - think of us rest of us, hold your head up, and smile!
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  • linpsu
    linpsu Member Posts: 747
    #2
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    sorry
    That is just so awful; I can't believe he said that! But you handled it beautifully! I hope I would be able to think of a good comeback like that so quickly. Hugs, Linda
  • CypressCynthia
    CypressCynthia Member Posts: 4,014 Member
    #3
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    Great comeback!
    I had a
    Great comeback!

    I had a physician say to me, "Isn't that a radical haircut?" and I replied, "yeah, it's the chemo special." To her credit, she was truly mortified.

    That bothered me less than a pushy neighbor who always chased me down to tell me about someone who had the same cancer, suffered terribly and died a horrible death. She always caught me at a vulnerable time and I wouldn't say anything but would cry all night. Now, 24 years later, I still have cancer but am doing pretty good and she doesn't look too healthy herself.

    The insensitivity of some folks can be unbelievable. You just have to try and laugh at it and move on, I guess.
  • Texasgirl10
    Texasgirl10 Member Posts: 668
    #4
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    CypressCynthia said:

    Great comeback!
    I had a
    Great comeback!

    I had a physician say to me, "Isn't that a radical haircut?" and I replied, "yeah, it's the chemo special." To her credit, she was truly mortified.

    That bothered me less than a pushy neighbor who always chased me down to tell me about someone who had the same cancer, suffered terribly and died a horrible death. She always caught me at a vulnerable time and I wouldn't say anything but would cry all night. Now, 24 years later, I still have cancer but am doing pretty good and she doesn't look too healthy herself.

    The insensitivity of some folks can be unbelievable. You just have to try and laugh at it and move on, I guess.

    Awesome comeback
    How rude and hateful of that man! But your response was awesome. I bet he'll think twice before he goes up to another woman and says something so hateful.
  • jessiesmom1
    jessiesmom1 Member Posts: 915 Member
    #5
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    At the Food Court
    My daughter was home from college in March for Spring Break. It was pretty warm and my hair was VERY short but I decided to be brave and go to the shopping mall with her before she went back to school without a head scarf or my wig. We were sitting at the food court having lunch and a friendly argument over the fit of some of the clothes she bought.The person at the table next to us said in a friendly way, "Oh that sounds like something a grandmother would say." My daughter and I were absolutely flabbergasted. She was 18 and I was 52. I do have salt & pepper chemo curls but my skin is great and most people think I look younger than my age. We just smiled at the person. I know that she did not intend to be hurtful but my feelings took a beating. Later on I told my daughter that I would have to start coloring my hair when there was enough to do so. People can be thoughtless,can't they?

    IRENE
  • VickiSam
    VickiSam Member Posts: 9,079 Member
    #6
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    jessiesmom1 said:

    At the Food Court
    My daughter was home from college in March for Spring Break. It was pretty warm and my hair was VERY short but I decided to be brave and go to the shopping mall with her before she went back to school without a head scarf or my wig. We were sitting at the food court having lunch and a friendly argument over the fit of some of the clothes she bought.The person at the table next to us said in a friendly way, "Oh that sounds like something a grandmother would say." My daughter and I were absolutely flabbergasted. She was 18 and I was 52. I do have salt & pepper chemo curls but my skin is great and most people think I look younger than my age. We just smiled at the person. I know that she did not intend to be hurtful but my feelings took a beating. Later on I told my daughter that I would have to start coloring my hair when there was enough to do so. People can be thoughtless,can't they?

    IRENE

    That's the way to stand up for yourself --
    Quilting Mama .. !! So very proud of you.


    Vicki Sam
  • LoveBabyJesus
    LoveBabyJesus Member Posts: 1,679 Member
    #7
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    Ugh!
    Sorry you had to deal with that. But people are people, and many are...hmm...insensitive and selfish. Many (if not most) and not taught how to be otherwise, so can't completely blame them, but their upbringings.
  • BioAdoptMom
    BioAdoptMom Member Posts: 358
    #8
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    What a great answer!
    I had
    What a great answer!

    I had a co-worker tell me she was jealous and that if she had BC she would consider it an opportunity for a "free boob job"!

    Nancy
  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    #9
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    so sorry
    you are right...people are rude or ignorant..

    3 yrs ago...while I was going through radiation-my daughters' friend said to her..I can't wait until your mom loses her hair...

    little did he know I didn't lose mine...

    my daughter was very hurt..I said it doesn't hurt me ...just let it go..

    sorry...people make comments...

    Denise
  • poplolly
    poplolly Member Posts: 346
    #10
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    BioAdoptMom said:

    What a great answer!
    I had
    What a great answer!

    I had a co-worker tell me she was jealous and that if she had BC she would consider it an opportunity for a "free boob job"!

    Nancy

    Bio--That does it! That's
    Bio--That does it! That's the worst thing anyone has ever said....
  • jendrey
    jendrey Member Posts: 377
    #11
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    disneyfan2008 said:

    so sorry
    you are right...people are rude or ignorant..

    3 yrs ago...while I was going through radiation-my daughters' friend said to her..I can't wait until your mom loses her hair...

    little did he know I didn't lose mine...

    my daughter was very hurt..I said it doesn't hurt me ...just let it go..

    sorry...people make comments...

    Denise

    ...
    I was up at the rv resort with my significant other. His parents have a membership and always want us to go there for whatever so I pretty much know their circle of friends and they know me.

    My hair was just starting to grow back. Out of the blue, Linda (alias) comes up to me and says your hair looks so healthy but I don't think that style really works for you and it certainly wouldn't work for me. WTF?!! With my most charming smile I told her; hey with a little chemotherapy she too could have the very same style!
  • CAchick
    CAchick Member Posts: 277
    #12
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    jendrey said:

    ...
    I was up at the rv resort with my significant other. His parents have a membership and always want us to go there for whatever so I pretty much know their circle of friends and they know me.

    My hair was just starting to grow back. Out of the blue, Linda (alias) comes up to me and says your hair looks so healthy but I don't think that style really works for you and it certainly wouldn't work for me. WTF?!! With my most charming smile I told her; hey with a little chemotherapy she too could have the very same style!

    clueless
    People who have not been through what we have been through can be so clueless...Or, ok just stupid! Sorry y'all!
    Sybil
  • new2me
    new2me Member Posts: 177 Member
    #13
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    CAchick said:

    clueless
    People who have not been through what we have been through can be so clueless...Or, ok just stupid! Sorry y'all!
    Sybil

    I was at the grocery store the other day...
    at the check out and the cashier asked to see my id and when I showed her my license she looked at me and then the license and said, kind of rude like "thats not you!" I replied with yes, it is me - I lost all my hair to chemo and this is new growth. She suddenly became very nice and apologized. I think she felt bad - I don't blame her too much though but she just didn't have to be rude about it.
    I walked away and swore I would never go back to that store. (not the store I usually shop at)
    I understand that some comments are out of ignorance and some are simply mistakes but it's the mean rude ones that are unnecesary and down right cruel.
  • pinkflutterby
    pinkflutterby Member Posts: 615 Member
    #14
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    new2me said:

    I was at the grocery store the other day...
    at the check out and the cashier asked to see my id and when I showed her my license she looked at me and then the license and said, kind of rude like "thats not you!" I replied with yes, it is me - I lost all my hair to chemo and this is new growth. She suddenly became very nice and apologized. I think she felt bad - I don't blame her too much though but she just didn't have to be rude about it.
    I walked away and swore I would never go back to that store. (not the store I usually shop at)
    I understand that some comments are out of ignorance and some are simply mistakes but it's the mean rude ones that are unnecesary and down right cruel.

    mean people suck!
    I cant believe he said that!!! I am always worried I will get accussed of that too (not that theres anything wrong with it, to each is own, its just not me) So I always try to wear a cancer shirt but I would have for sure have a come back for that man!!! and maybe a kick in the right spot!!

    everytime I am asked for my ID I always say, this is me with hair, then they dont know what to say LOL
  • sweetvickid
    sweetvickid Member Posts: 459 Member
    #15
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    That may have been me
    You handled it much nice than me. Iwent off on the guy and ended up flashing him my boobless chest. LOL
  • pinkflutterby
    pinkflutterby Member Posts: 615 Member
    #16
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    sweetvickid said:

    That may have been me
    You handled it much nice than me. Iwent off on the guy and ended up flashing him my boobless chest. LOL

    Sweetvickied
    My daughter (26) says you are her hero!!! LOL
  • TraciInLA
    TraciInLA Member Posts: 1,994 Member
    #17
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    pinkflutterby said:

    Sweetvickied
    My daughter (26) says you are her hero!!! LOL

    sweetvickid,
    I've never forgotten that story you shared with us -- and you will always be my hero, too. I've told it to many other women, and every one just cheers in admiration for your take-no-bulls**t attitude on behalf of us all.

    Traci
  • laughs_a_lot
    laughs_a_lot Member Posts: 1,368 Member
    #18
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    BioAdoptMom said:

    What a great answer!
    I had
    What a great answer!

    I had a co-worker tell me she was jealous and that if she had BC she would consider it an opportunity for a "free boob job"!

    Nancy

    Ooooooh
    That's about the time I would come back with this "Gee I thought of that too but the Geneva convention considers the treatment we go through as cruel and unusual punishment for anyone but those having cancer. Therefore they outlawed this practice."
  • Vigee
    Vigee Member Posts: 66
    #19
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    More Rude
    Thank you for starting this discussion.

    I have only been bald for three weeks and I already have two stories.

    I made a very beautiful silk scarf and a male coworker said "Hey, Ali Baba, can you grant me 3 wishes." After taking 10 minutes to cool down I told him that I didn't appreciate the comment and that he should never say anything like that to me again. Then I went in the Ladies' room and cried. It was my first day back without hair and I was so scared and sensitive.

    The second was just last week, (I've toughened up and am going out completely bald) a waitress at a restaurant I go to a lot said "What did you do to your hair?" I said "I got cancer." pretty loudly. She was mortified and sent over another waiter to help us for the rest of the evening.

    <3 you Ladies!
  • Vigee
    Vigee Member Posts: 66
    #20
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    sweetvickid said:

    That may have been me
    You handled it much nice than me. Iwent off on the guy and ended up flashing him my boobless chest. LOL

    YAY!
    Sweetvickid, this made me LOL!
  • ssmith37
    ssmith37 Member Posts: 22
    #21
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    Witty Comeback
    QuiltingMama, I admire your wit. I'm sorry you had to go through that, and hope you never have to again.

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