What, If Anything, Have You Learned With Your Diagnosis Of Breast Cancer?

susie09

This journey with bc is difficult and long. We all started with the initial diagnosis of bc, had surgery's, taken chemo and rads and some are on hormone therapy.

Be it good or bad, what have you learned? About yourself, your friends, your family, your job, or just plain about life now?


Thanks!

RE

lessons learned
Life is valuable and those that you love are not here forever, neither are we. Yes, I knew that before but cancer brought it to the forefront. As a result of watching my mother and sister deal with cancer I learned that having it does not mean we stop living, it may mean we alter how we live to deal with our new normal but it does not mean we stop enjoying life. It has taught me to enjoy the moment and not let things that are not that important to over take me, argue less and laugh more. Be kind to others and do not let unpleasantness take up too much of your time. We are human and are going to have bad moments,days or weeks but it is important to me to limit the distress these situations can have on me.

It has also taught me to not believe everything a doctor tells me, no one is more in charge of my well being than I am. It is my job to be persistent and ask questions if I feel that more should be done when dealing with my health. The worst that can happen is the doctor will be a tad miffed, that's okay as long as I am not combative in my mission to get the treatment I deserve.

Those are the things that come to mind, if I think of more I will tell ya! ;^)

RE

New Flower

RE said:

lessons learned
Life is valuable and those that you love are not here forever, neither are we. Yes, I knew that before but cancer brought it to the forefront. As a result of watching my mother and sister deal with cancer I learned that having it does not mean we stop living, it may mean we alter how we live to deal with our new normal but it does not mean we stop enjoying life. It has taught me to enjoy the moment and not let things that are not that important to over take me, argue less and laugh more. Be kind to others and do not let unpleasantness take up too much of your time. We are human and are going to have bad moments,days or weeks but it is important to me to limit the distress these situations can have on me.

It has also taught me to not believe everything a doctor tells me, no one is more in charge of my well being than I am. It is my job to be persistent and ask questions if I feel that more should be done when dealing with my health. The worst that can happen is the doctor will be a tad miffed, that's okay as long as I am not combative in my mission to get the treatment I deserve.

Those are the things that come to mind, if I think of more I will tell ya! ;^)

RE

and courage. Thank you for your post.

BioAdoptMom

Who my true friends
Who my true friends are!

Nancy

CypressCynthia

Hope
The biggest lesson that I learned is how important hope is. I always thought that I just wanted to know the facts. I do, but please never give me the "facts" without hope. So many back in 1987 acted like I was already dead or doomed. Believe me, I am much more cautious about what I now say to families facing a seemingly hopeless diagnosis. Be honest, but never, ever remove hope.

joannstar

I've learned
a lot about myself...that I am stronger than I thought, that I can accept help although that it is not my habit, that I can say no when it is something that I am unable to do or have no time for, that I can follow through and complete treatment, that I must be kinder to myself and that I do not need to make apologies for myself or how I look.

I've also learned how to respond to others who have life threatening illnesses and to be more compassionate.

JoAnn

disneyfan2008

learned alot
I see how great my family (many) and friends were. (I KNEW ahead but this proved it even more) I found out to not believe or listen to administrators when they say "DON"T WORRY" or "do what you need to do" etc...

I would have check out my rights (legal vs work) if not in such a mental whirl wind at the start of all this! after 3 days...YES 3 DAYS into my radiation I was called into the office..said we can not justify you leaving..YOU MUST take sick days from now on. PRIOR to that I was told "Do whatever you need to do"

**Also some

I will never get over that...since then I have gone (day late and $ short) to support group (over hour and half away) to find out my legal rights and found out all that was done WRONG!

I also found out how wonderful my Cancer center was/is! Staff so caring, greeted you daily by Name...!..

Denise

juanita76

I have learned that life is
I have learned that life is too short and without God we can do nothing Ive learned to depend on him for strength for healing and also my faith has increased tremendously I have learned how much im loved by my family and friends and mostly Ive learned that im much stronger than I thought I was

Annette 11

I learned
What I learned was, I am stronger than I thought I would be. I learned who my true friends are. Some called all the time but the friend I thought was my dearest friend rarely called. I also learned prayer gives us peace/strength and helps to cope.

camul

Life throws us curves.
I have learned I am stronger than I thought.
Family is what is most important in my life.
Laughing is so healthy!
That some family and friends can cope with my illness better than others, but it doesn't mean that one loves me less than another.
That adults say the stupidest things.
That if I don't know what to say, less is more!
That if my attitude is positive, my life is smoother. All in my perspective.
When in pain, take a pain pill (I was afraid of getting addicted).
Grieve my loss as needed, but keep it short!
Vent when needed, but keep it short!
Do as much as I can while I am able to.
Prognosis is based on statistics, and I am not a statistic.
Money makes life easier, but does not dictate who I am.
Ask as many questions as it takes to be comfortable with treatments.
Put my faith in God first, then the doctor.

This is what I have learned.
~Carol

Heatherbelle

what i've learned
aaah i had this wonderful, long reply posted and my 2 yr old just kicked my keyboard & it's all gone.....aaaaaaaaggggggghhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ok, got that out of my system. Let's see if i can remember some of what i said:
i've learned who my true friends are. also that family doesnt necessarily mean someone shares the same blood as you. our friends are more family to us than some who we're related to. i've learned to say what i mean, and to express my feelings. i've learned to slow down and savor the moments in every day. i've learned to live with a messy house. i've learned to forget about the past & not obsess over the future because we're only guaranteed today. i've learned i look really cute with short hair. i've learned that my husband truly does love me for more than my once epic boobs i've learned that it's ok if i want to wear lipstick and mascara just to go to the grocery store. i've learned how to tie bandanas and silk scarves really cute on my head. i've learned to ask for help when i need it. i've learned that a kind word or a smile can go a long way. i've learned that im stronger than i had ever imagined.
*hugs*
heather

RE

I thought of another one:
I've learned that I can grow to care a great deal and learn a great deal from folks I have never met in person and I thank you all for that lesson!

RE

roseann4

RE said:

I thought of another one:
I've learned that I can grow to care a great deal and learn a great deal from folks I have never met in person and I thank you all for that lesson!

RE

Great and inspiring responses!
I've learned to care about myself as much as I care about others. I've learned that attitude is the only thing I can control. I learned to hang out with people who love me (bc helped me identify who they are.

Roseann

Ritzy

roseann4 said:

Great and inspiring responses!
I've learned to care about myself as much as I care about others. I've learned that attitude is the only thing I can control. I learned to hang out with people who love me (bc helped me identify who they are.

Roseann

Great post Susie!
What have I learned? There are so many things that I have learned that I will try to put some of it into words.

I learned that I was mentally and physically stronger than I ever thought I was. I found courage to fight this horrid disease and to go thru everything that I needed to in order to save my life.

I learned to not worry about petty, small things anymore. I realized that things will work out the way they are suppose to, and, worrying about them only steals my sunshine for the day.

I learned that my hubby loves me from the moon to the stars, and, even more! He has given me strength when I needed it, listened to me when I had scary and bad days, and, shown me what true soul mates are. I always knew he loved me, but, he has gone beyond any expectations that even I could imagine to show me.

I learned that my dear sweet friends were so worried and scared for me, but, seemed to always hide that and only empower me with their encouraging words. I treasure each and every one of them.

I learned that family and God can get you thru even the roughest times and always be there for you..always!

I learned that there is a bond here at CSN with my pink sisters that will never be broken and I love you all so much!

I wake up now and look at each day as a gift. A gift to enjoy, savor and treasure. Life is beautiful, and, maybe having bc just opened up my eyes to the beauty of life even more!


Sue

laughs_a_lot

Learned
My husband and I have a role reversal kind of life. I worked two jobs for many years to take care of him. This was my way of showing I loved him. I now know I can prove that I love him by spending time with him too. Screw the bills. They'll get paid when they get paid.

I have learned that getting my education later in life was a good thing, but it did not guarentee that my life would be problem free, or that I would have plenty of money.

Getting bc reinforced my belief of several other things. Grand children are a special blessing from God. Forgiveness is a good thing to hand out, even if you never recieve the same in return. I am even more pursuaded that, "All things are possible through Christ who strengthens me".

missrenee

laughs_a_lot said:

Learned
My husband and I have a role reversal kind of life. I worked two jobs for many years to take care of him. This was my way of showing I loved him. I now know I can prove that I love him by spending time with him too. Screw the bills. They'll get paid when they get paid.

I have learned that getting my education later in life was a good thing, but it did not guarentee that my life would be problem free, or that I would have plenty of money.

Getting bc reinforced my belief of several other things. Grand children are a special blessing from God. Forgiveness is a good thing to hand out, even if you never recieve the same in return. I am even more pursuaded that, "All things are possible through Christ who strengthens me".

Probably more than in all the years prior to diagnosis
I learned what a brave and strong woman I am--I always thought I was a weak little girl.

I learned what true friendship means--someone who not only laughs with you in the good times, but also cries right along with you and holds you when you're scared.

I've always known this--but my husband continued to amaze me with his unending love, patience, compassion and a million other things--even when I was so angry at my disease or sobbing from the pain.

You can't always count on people (even people you love) to say or do the right thing. Most of them mean well and just don't know what to do or say, and the others are just plain stupid.

A positive attitude means everything--always.

Every single second of every single day is precious.

My home is my safe haven, my refuge and my comfort. After treatment I found it really hard to plan a trip--it was scary to leave this place.

Money, clothes, houses, cars--don't mean a flippin' thing. Good health, love and family are everything.

God is great.

Hugs, Renee

mrs gadget

I have learned so much...here are the top ten
1) I learned exactly what I am made of, and proved that by walking a half marathon 2 weeks after my first chemo!!

2) I learned that pondering is not nearly effective as taking action while you have the opportunity to do so...

3) All those friends that you thought you had are not always around when you need them the most and neither is your family. With that being said, my husband was there for me every second of this journey!!

4) We are all stronger and more capable than we think we are

5) Whenever I feel like I am having a bad day, I remember how lousy I felt during chemo and suddenly all my problems disappear!!

6) You get a good laugh when you have a garage sale and the first thing that sells is your wig for $1.00 !!

7) While wearing said wig, you can laugh when people tell you that your new haircut isn't really working for you!!

8) This journey makes you redefine who you really are

9) There is no such thing as a bad hair day because you become thankful for every little hair on your head!!

10) Having a place like this to come to when I feel like the rest of the world isn't listening is priceless!!!

Lighthouse_7

mrs gadget said:

I have learned so much...here are the top ten
1) I learned exactly what I am made of, and proved that by walking a half marathon 2 weeks after my first chemo!!

2) I learned that pondering is not nearly effective as taking action while you have the opportunity to do so...

3) All those friends that you thought you had are not always around when you need them the most and neither is your family. With that being said, my husband was there for me every second of this journey!!

4) We are all stronger and more capable than we think we are

5) Whenever I feel like I am having a bad day, I remember how lousy I felt during chemo and suddenly all my problems disappear!!

6) You get a good laugh when you have a garage sale and the first thing that sells is your wig for $1.00 !!

7) While wearing said wig, you can laugh when people tell you that your new haircut isn't really working for you!!

8) This journey makes you redefine who you really are

9) There is no such thing as a bad hair day because you become thankful for every little hair on your head!!

10) Having a place like this to come to when I feel like the rest of the world isn't listening is priceless!!!

I have learned
so many things that I probably will forget some (chemo brain too) HA HA

After facing the fear of death, I'm not nearly as fearful of much anymore.

There's nothing like family.

God is great.

Grandchildren are truly a gift that I cherish.

I enjoy the simple things now with much more appreciation.

I am forever grateful to this network of Kindred Spirits (sorry Char I just love the expression and steal it often.

I have learned to see myself. Good and the not so good.

That strangers can have so much compassion.

That being alone with yourself is a peaceful gift.

That being quiet sometimes is a beautiful thing.

That being right or proving a point no longer matters.

That I don't like conflict anymore and have found my boundries and respect them.

I am much stronger than I ever knew.

Thanks for a wonderful post Susie~

jendrey

Lighthouse_7 said:

I have learned
so many things that I probably will forget some (chemo brain too) HA HA

After facing the fear of death, I'm not nearly as fearful of much anymore.

There's nothing like family.

God is great.

Grandchildren are truly a gift that I cherish.

I enjoy the simple things now with much more appreciation.

I am forever grateful to this network of Kindred Spirits (sorry Char I just love the expression and steal it often.

I have learned to see myself. Good and the not so good.

That strangers can have so much compassion.

That being alone with yourself is a peaceful gift.

That being quiet sometimes is a beautiful thing.

That being right or proving a point no longer matters.

That I don't like conflict anymore and have found my boundries and respect them.

I am much stronger than I ever knew.

Thanks for a wonderful post Susie~

...
That not only do multiple shades of grey exist in my otherwise black-and-white world; but that grey is no less unworthy and, in fact, can be quite significant.

lizzie17

I share so many of everyone's thoughts
Especially, you really find out who your friends are....and old, long-time friends seem to be the best. They are truly the gold.

And that family relationships.....(my half-sister and her adult children)....even though we never were very close, are nonexistent now. I have been "excommunicated".

That I am stronger than I ever dreamed I could be.

That I am more assertive and not the doormat I used to be, and people like that in me.

That with all the support around me, I still feel alone.

mollyz

juanita76 said:

I have learned that life is
I have learned that life is too short and without God we can do nothing Ive learned to depend on him for strength for healing and also my faith has increased tremendously I have learned how much im loved by my family and friends and mostly Ive learned that im much stronger than I thought I was

I feel the same
As Juanita76,i could not have said it any better.