Just wanted to say sorry

Kimmy_FL
Kimmy_FL Member Posts: 15
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
I just wanted to say sorry to each and every person that sees this post. I found out my wife has cancer today and my whole world stopped spinning. After reading so many posts and replies I just wanted to express my admiration to all that have been on this website. I fully understand there is no level of measurement to say who has suffered more. I have only endured it (as a loved one) for a few hours. I was not the beautiful woman I married who sat in the chair crying while the doctor read her the results. I cannot truly ever say I understand what it is like to have the disease and feel the pain from it but I can honestly say I know what it's like to feel the pain of loving someone who has.

Ron
«1

Comments

  • TMac52
    TMac52 Member Posts: 352
    I'm sorry
    For the bad news. I pray for your pain and hope your wife gets the treatment she needs.
    Tom
  • Kimmy_FL
    Kimmy_FL Member Posts: 15
    TMac52 said:

    I'm sorry
    For the bad news. I pray for your pain and hope your wife gets the treatment she needs.
    Tom

    Thanks Tom. I am just

    Thanks Tom. I am just sitting here reading all of the different posts and I am overwhelmed. My wife and I went through her Mom's battle years ago. With great sorrow we lost her to it. Now after what seemed like a joke about the bathroom and a bloated belly my wife/best friend is battling for her life.

    I hope you or your loved one gets all the treatment as well to live a healthy and happy life.

    Ron
  • Kathleen808
    Kathleen808 Member Posts: 2,342 Member
    Ron
    Ron,
    We all remember those first days and hours after finding out the very hard news. This can be a time of fear, possibly anger and sorrow. Please know that we are here for you. I hope that a plan gets in place for your dear wife and you can enjoy some very good days.

    Be in touch.

    Aloha,
    Kathleen
  • Kimmy_FL
    Kimmy_FL Member Posts: 15

    Ron
    Ron,
    We all remember those first days and hours after finding out the very hard news. This can be a time of fear, possibly anger and sorrow. Please know that we are here for you. I hope that a plan gets in place for your dear wife and you can enjoy some very good days.

    Be in touch.

    Aloha,
    Kathleen

    Thank you Kathleen! I really

    Thank you Kathleen! I really appreciate all of the support here. With the help of people such as yourself I hope to jump start a positive plan this weekend while waiting for our doctors reply. I wish you and your family all the best!

    Ron
  • AnneCan
    AnneCan Member Posts: 3,673 Member
    Ron
    I am very sorry you and your are going through. It is especially difficult at the beginning. Remember that the wife sitting in the chair crying is your beautiful wife. Tell her that lots. There are likely to be many times through this cancer journey when you both are brought to tears. You both need to take deep breaths . You likely don't have a lot of details yet, but as they come you will see your wife's plan come into place. You have come to a great resource here. Take good care of each other. And welcome.
  • bruins1971
    bruins1971 Member Posts: 227
    Take a deep breath
    Ok so your world has been rocked to the core but it is not the end of the world although it might seem that way right now. Trust me when I say this for I know exactly what I am talking about. You see at the fun age of 38 I was diagnosed stage 4 colon cancer with mets to my liver. I met with three oncologists and picked the one who I felt in my heart was going to be the best. I have been through some really hard times since being diagnosed in March of 2010 but now here I sit tonight with colon surgery, liver surgery and 12 rounds of chemo behind me and looking forward to my CT scan next week to see if I am cancer free. Back in March cancer free did not even seem like an option but now it is an option and one I am praying will become reality very soon. What's going on with your wife? What stage? What are the doctors telling you? How many doctors have you seen? If you don't like this one find another as you should always get second or third opinions....I decided right away before meeting with the first doctor that I was getting three opinions. I will be praying for your wife and you should invite her to join up to as it is very helpful to come to this site and talk to people who are walking the same walk.

    God Bless,
    Bobby in Dallas
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    Ron, we have all been there/done that'!
    I responded to your other post...didn't see any reason for you to apologize!

    It's hardest on the caregivers/loved ones, I think. You all have to stand patiently by, listening to the WHOLE story (they shield us warriors...want to give us hope...), and still being expected to live your normal life of work, and kids, and whatever...sigh...

    Other than apologizing when you have directly hurt someone's feelings (and, trust me, we are a vocal bunch...we'll let you know), there is no need for it here...we have been frightened just like you are now...and then angry (this is where you need to turn your anger to cancer, not to people around you...)...and all sorts of other emotions...

    Dutch hugs (I live partime in The Netherlands), Kathi
  • Lovekitties
    Lovekitties Member Posts: 3,364 Member
    Dear Ron
    No reason to say you are sorry to us. We all know what the first day(s) are like after diagnosis.

    As a caregiver you have the hardest role, because you want with all your heart to FIX IT. We all wish it was that easy, but standing with your wife and helping her on this journey are what you can and will do.

    We are all fortunate on this board to have each other. We celebrate the good news. We offer encouragement when the news is not so good. And yes we cry when we suffer the loss of a friend. What we don't do here is give up. There is always someone here to offer the right words to help us keep on keeping on.

    You mentioned in your other post you all were getting ready to celebrate 20th anniversary. Sounds like just the thing to do...celebrate. You may have to arrange it around doc appointments and such but don't ever let cancer take away the good things in life. Every day is a blessing to be lived to the fullest.

    Hugs,

    Marie who loves kitties
  • JoyceSteele
    JoyceSteele Member Posts: 145
    Welcome
    Dear Ron:

    Wish I didn't have to welcome you to this forum, but under the circumstances I cannot think of a better place for you to come. My heart goes out to you, and your wife. This is a journey I wish you didn't have to take, but since you do, everyone here will be ready to support you in every way possible. You will be doing the same thing one day. Supporting others.

    Remember to "believe". There are many positive stories on the board. Sometimes when I'm having a not so great day I come here and just read for encouragement. Take care of yourself, as well as your dear wife. She will need you and I suspect this will bring you even closer to one another. There is always good that comes out of the bad. Sometimes it just takes a while to find it. With hugs, I'll pray for you. Joyce
  • idlehunters
    idlehunters Member Posts: 1,787 Member

    Welcome
    Dear Ron:

    Wish I didn't have to welcome you to this forum, but under the circumstances I cannot think of a better place for you to come. My heart goes out to you, and your wife. This is a journey I wish you didn't have to take, but since you do, everyone here will be ready to support you in every way possible. You will be doing the same thing one day. Supporting others.

    Remember to "believe". There are many positive stories on the board. Sometimes when I'm having a not so great day I come here and just read for encouragement. Take care of yourself, as well as your dear wife. She will need you and I suspect this will bring you even closer to one another. There is always good that comes out of the bad. Sometimes it just takes a while to find it. With hugs, I'll pray for you. Joyce

    Hey Ron
    Those first days really suck! I remember sitting in Target parking lot just sobbing...both me and my husband..... him saying I don't want you to die and me saying I don't wanna die. Got so much to see with my kids and don't wanna miss nothing. I didn't think I would see another holiday with my husband or kids. WRONG!!! almost 2 years later now and doing WAY WAY better than that day. I know things seem grim now....but you guys are gonna be ok. Take care

    Jennie
  • lisa42
    lisa42 Member Posts: 3,625 Member
    Ron
    Hi Ron,

    I'm sorry for the news about your wife. Here on this website, there are both people with the cancer themselves and people who have a loved one with the cancer. In some ways, the caregiver has it harder- they can't make it better and they are often exhausted with thinking about the what-ifs of the future.
    Keep coming to this site, as it is a wonderful source of information and support. I found out about certain chemo side effects and other treatments that my oncologist had not been familiar with. At times, there were side effects I was getting from the chemo that my onc and nurse staff were not familiar with, but then I found other people on this site had experienced them too- so I knew I was not alone and I knew it actually was from the chemo.

    I'm sorry for the "journey" you've just been put on. You will go through different emotions as time goes on- so will your wife. Keep hanging on-
    If you have a faith, cling to that. Remember, there is always HOPE. Also, know that the "survival statistics" you see on the internet are outdated. By the mere fact of being a statistic, the info is based on people who were diagnosed and treated at least 5 years ago. They've come out with some newer things since then- so remember that & let your wife know that.

    Take care,
    Lisa
  • chicoturner
    chicoturner Member Posts: 282
    Ron, so sorry about the
    Ron, so sorry about the news. What you are feeling is so normal. Your wife is blessed to have such a caring man to share all of the future with. There will be days when it consumes you and slowly, very slowly, you will find moments when you actually don't think about it. Don't worry if that takes a while. In so many ways it is good that we think about it, because it brings us to a new level of living. I find that things that I say I should do, I am more apt to do, because none of us know about tomorrow. Like right now, I am trying to plan a quick trip to see my grand baby. Can't really afford the money or time right now, but on the other hand....... Yes I can! so we get to make those choices and some days those are the things that just keep up going!! You will be in my thoughts and prayers. Know that you are not alone and there is always someone online!! Jean
  • ktlcs
    ktlcs Member Posts: 358

    Ron, so sorry about the
    Ron, so sorry about the news. What you are feeling is so normal. Your wife is blessed to have such a caring man to share all of the future with. There will be days when it consumes you and slowly, very slowly, you will find moments when you actually don't think about it. Don't worry if that takes a while. In so many ways it is good that we think about it, because it brings us to a new level of living. I find that things that I say I should do, I am more apt to do, because none of us know about tomorrow. Like right now, I am trying to plan a quick trip to see my grand baby. Can't really afford the money or time right now, but on the other hand....... Yes I can! so we get to make those choices and some days those are the things that just keep up going!! You will be in my thoughts and prayers. Know that you are not alone and there is always someone online!! Jean

    So Sorry
    I can still remember in vivid detail the day the DR told us my husband had cancer and it was already Stage IV. I learned though that after the initial shock you gain the strength to be there for them, no matter the outcome. Hopefully her treatment will not easy for her, and, more importantly, successful.

    Kathy
  • karguy
    karguy Member Posts: 1,020 Member
    I'm sorry
    I'm sorry you have to be here,but you are there to help your wife fight the cancer,and support her when she needs it.We are here when you have questions,or just need to vent.It is a battle you,and your wife are not fighting alone.Remember to never stop fighting the cancer.Since I was told about the cancer,I keep saying every day that I will survive.We are here when you need us.Good luck.
  • Kimmy_FL
    Kimmy_FL Member Posts: 15
    ktlcs said:

    So Sorry
    I can still remember in vivid detail the day the DR told us my husband had cancer and it was already Stage IV. I learned though that after the initial shock you gain the strength to be there for them, no matter the outcome. Hopefully her treatment will not easy for her, and, more importantly, successful.

    Kathy

    Thank you Kathy! This is
    Thank you Kathy! This is just so overwhelming. Until Monday when we speak to our doctor it's just frustrating and sad.

    I hope you and your husband are comfortable and doing well trying to deal with this beast.


    Ron
  • Kimmy_FL
    Kimmy_FL Member Posts: 15
    karguy said:

    I'm sorry
    I'm sorry you have to be here,but you are there to help your wife fight the cancer,and support her when she needs it.We are here when you have questions,or just need to vent.It is a battle you,and your wife are not fighting alone.Remember to never stop fighting the cancer.Since I was told about the cancer,I keep saying every day that I will survive.We are here when you need us.Good luck.

    Thank you so much. I can't

    Thank you so much. I can't express the amount of gratitude I have for everyone here and for those who have replied to my posts. I know I am not alone with this and just want to ensure I help give my wife the life she desreves.
  • Erinb
    Erinb Member Posts: 293
    Kimmy_FL said:

    Thank you so much. I can't

    Thank you so much. I can't express the amount of gratitude I have for everyone here and for those who have replied to my posts. I know I am not alone with this and just want to ensure I help give my wife the life she desreves.

    Your wife is blessed to have
    Your wife is blessed to have a wonderful and caring husband. She will need your strength and support throughout this battle and many years to come. This is a wonderful board with many people who have shared similar experiences you may encounter. I love my CSN family.
    Erin
  • Annabelle41415
    Annabelle41415 Member Posts: 6,742 Member
    Sorry
    So sorry you got this news about your wife. It is not pleasant to hear those three words "you have cancer", but there is so much more to offer now than years ago. Please keep us posted how she is and treatment, and you both are in my prayers.

    Kim
  • christinecarl
    christinecarl Member Posts: 543 Member
    I sometimes think in a lot
    I sometimes think in a lot of ways it is harder to be the care giver than the one with cancer. Having been both, there is just something different that goes on when you watch someone you love suffer. My prayers to you both.
  • tootsie1
    tootsie1 Member Posts: 5,044 Member
    Hi
    Hi, Ron.

    I remember so well the stunned looks my husband and I gave each other the day I was diagnosed. No one ever forgets how that felt!

    Your wife has a wonderful, caring person looking after her in you. I know you feel overwhelmed now, as does she. Soon enough you will find strength you didn't know you had, and hopefully the two of you will also find just the right path to lead her to a full recovery.

    My prayers are with you.

    *hugs*
    Gail