The real question should be is anyone still having oral sex???

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  • sweetblood22
    sweetblood22 Member Posts: 3,228
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    DrMary said:

    Unreasonable vs unsupported
    You are right - unreasonable is not the right word, as it implied the advice was unreasonable; unsupportable might be a better word. At the moment, a doctor can not tell you that abstaining or using protection will keep you from getting HPV-caused cancer again. Nor can that doctor tell you that the opposite will increase your chances of getting HPV-caused cancer again. There are much stronger reasons to abstain or use protection, but I'm not finding any support for the idea that avoiding an HPV-caused cancer relapse is one.

    About "safe" oral sex - I grew up in a time when any oral sex was considered "safe" (from a pregnancy point of view, which is all we worried about, since the viruses were mostly unknown and antibiotics cured the rest).

    Unsupportable is a much
    Unsupportable is a much better word. Thank you. I absolutely agree.
  • Unsupportable is a much
    Unsupportable is a much better word. Thank you. I absolutely agree.

    This comment has been removed by the Moderator
  • rush1958
    rush1958 Member Posts: 223 Member
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    Is anyone still having oral sex?
    Irishgypsie,

    It looks like there is alot of good information out there on the subject and there is a spirited debate on its merits. However, no one seems to want to answer your question. I assume that it is not rhetorical......

    Is anyone still having oral sex? The answer is, "yes."

    I am. In fact, it was a specific question I asked the doctors. Well..... OK...... It wasn't me exactly..... It was my dear wife...... She does not have a shy bone in her body.... In fact, all of the nursing staff came into the examining room (with tubs of popcorn) to watch the expression on the doctor's face as he squirmed uncomfortably under the direct questioning of my wife - the pretty little red haired girl......

    This whole debate reminds me of something I once said about 35 years ago. It was when the latest study had determined that "coffee" or "sugar substitutes" or "fill-in-the-blank" caused cancer in lab rats. I told my friends, "The day they come out and say that relations with the opposite sex causes cancer, that'll be the day you can mark down that I'll die of cancer."

    But that's just me. Everybody is different.

    Rush
  • Skiffin16
    Skiffin16 Member Posts: 8,305 Member
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    rush1958 said:

    Is anyone still having oral sex?
    Irishgypsie,

    It looks like there is alot of good information out there on the subject and there is a spirited debate on its merits. However, no one seems to want to answer your question. I assume that it is not rhetorical......

    Is anyone still having oral sex? The answer is, "yes."

    I am. In fact, it was a specific question I asked the doctors. Well..... OK...... It wasn't me exactly..... It was my dear wife...... She does not have a shy bone in her body.... In fact, all of the nursing staff came into the examining room (with tubs of popcorn) to watch the expression on the doctor's face as he squirmed uncomfortably under the direct questioning of my wife - the pretty little red haired girl......

    This whole debate reminds me of something I once said about 35 years ago. It was when the latest study had determined that "coffee" or "sugar substitutes" or "fill-in-the-blank" caused cancer in lab rats. I told my friends, "The day they come out and say that relations with the opposite sex causes cancer, that'll be the day you can mark down that I'll die of cancer."

    But that's just me. Everybody is different.

    Rush

    You gonna leave us hangin...
    LOL, so what did the doctor say.......

    JG
  • Cherokeegirl
    Cherokeegirl Member Posts: 11
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    rush1958 said:

    Is anyone still having oral sex?
    Irishgypsie,

    It looks like there is alot of good information out there on the subject and there is a spirited debate on its merits. However, no one seems to want to answer your question. I assume that it is not rhetorical......

    Is anyone still having oral sex? The answer is, "yes."

    I am. In fact, it was a specific question I asked the doctors. Well..... OK...... It wasn't me exactly..... It was my dear wife...... She does not have a shy bone in her body.... In fact, all of the nursing staff came into the examining room (with tubs of popcorn) to watch the expression on the doctor's face as he squirmed uncomfortably under the direct questioning of my wife - the pretty little red haired girl......

    This whole debate reminds me of something I once said about 35 years ago. It was when the latest study had determined that "coffee" or "sugar substitutes" or "fill-in-the-blank" caused cancer in lab rats. I told my friends, "The day they come out and say that relations with the opposite sex causes cancer, that'll be the day you can mark down that I'll die of cancer."

    But that's just me. Everybody is different.

    Rush

    Irishgypsie -Oral Sex
    I am the pretty little red haired girl......Rush's Wife. The nurses did not come in with pop corn but they DID stay in the room JUST to see what the Doc would say. It was a very funny moment for them and even us.......at the same time it was a bit awkward to ask.
    If is important enough to you ASK!

    Rush's Dr said it was ok for him everyone is different. The important thing is no matter is you are the survivor or the loved one of a survivor.......ASK any and all questions.
    Our Dr. said we were the first couple to ever ask so many questions about sex.
    It is an important question to ask and she wished that more would be open to asking as we were.

    Rush is so right........I am not a bit shy HA!!
  • Hondo
    Hondo Member Posts: 6,636 Member
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    Irishgypsie -Oral Sex
    I am the pretty little red haired girl......Rush's Wife. The nurses did not come in with pop corn but they DID stay in the room JUST to see what the Doc would say. It was a very funny moment for them and even us.......at the same time it was a bit awkward to ask.
    If is important enough to you ASK!

    Rush's Dr said it was ok for him everyone is different. The important thing is no matter is you are the survivor or the loved one of a survivor.......ASK any and all questions.
    Our Dr. said we were the first couple to ever ask so many questions about sex.
    It is an important question to ask and she wished that more would be open to asking as we were.

    Rush is so right........I am not a bit shy HA!!

    Cherokeegirl
    I guess like you said, there is no need to be shy it is all just part of life and we have all the problems we need with cancer taking away that most important part of our life.

    All the best to you and Rush
  • Joel4
    Joel4 Member Posts: 263 Member
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    Hondo said:

    Cherokeegirl
    I guess like you said, there is no need to be shy it is all just part of life and we have all the problems we need with cancer taking away that most important part of our life.

    All the best to you and Rush

    Some thoughts
    I had read somewhere that some heavy duty making out is another way that HPV could be spread. I suppose I should consider only kissing my wife through some Saran wrap or maybe pull a giant flavored condom over my head.
    This thread is a trip. The idea of a doctor being asked and signing off on the question of whether or not to engage in oral sex made me giggle as well. They have no freaking clue!
    It would drive me mad if I sat about and worried about such things all the time. The only thing I know for sure is that I am going to die and I'm cool with that because the grave has been conquered.
    I am not going to spend my days, however many there are, worrying about to beer or not to beer, to burger or not to burger, and all this other nonsense.
    I did however tell my wife that there is a small risk that engaging in sexual activity with me does apparently have some risk so she has been checked for HPV and will continue to see the OBGYN every 6 months to a year for pap smears.
  • sweetblood22
    sweetblood22 Member Posts: 3,228
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    Joel4 said:

    Some thoughts
    I had read somewhere that some heavy duty making out is another way that HPV could be spread. I suppose I should consider only kissing my wife through some Saran wrap or maybe pull a giant flavored condom over my head.
    This thread is a trip. The idea of a doctor being asked and signing off on the question of whether or not to engage in oral sex made me giggle as well. They have no freaking clue!
    It would drive me mad if I sat about and worried about such things all the time. The only thing I know for sure is that I am going to die and I'm cool with that because the grave has been conquered.
    I am not going to spend my days, however many there are, worrying about to beer or not to beer, to burger or not to burger, and all this other nonsense.
    I did however tell my wife that there is a small risk that engaging in sexual activity with me does apparently have some risk so she has been checked for HPV and will continue to see the OBGYN every 6 months to a year for pap smears.

    Joel's Post.
    We need a 'like button', like on facebook. :)

    Like!
  • dennis318
    dennis318 Member Posts: 349 Member
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    Joel4 said:

    Some thoughts
    I had read somewhere that some heavy duty making out is another way that HPV could be spread. I suppose I should consider only kissing my wife through some Saran wrap or maybe pull a giant flavored condom over my head.
    This thread is a trip. The idea of a doctor being asked and signing off on the question of whether or not to engage in oral sex made me giggle as well. They have no freaking clue!
    It would drive me mad if I sat about and worried about such things all the time. The only thing I know for sure is that I am going to die and I'm cool with that because the grave has been conquered.
    I am not going to spend my days, however many there are, worrying about to beer or not to beer, to burger or not to burger, and all this other nonsense.
    I did however tell my wife that there is a small risk that engaging in sexual activity with me does apparently have some risk so she has been checked for HPV and will continue to see the OBGYN every 6 months to a year for pap smears.

    Thanks Irish
    I've been roller coasting all week, trying to get a few things together for my kids for Christmas, little problems are still pyling, but I came here this pm to read, yes, while coffee was rolling i got here this am, first of all, I don't poke fun at anyone, but Irish, I fell out and just thought, it doesn't get better, I had to read three times, but the topic, I have nothing against what you where expressing, Sweet, Joel and so many I love reading your thoughts...it broke me out in laughter from crying and being depressed for a short time, I'm sure though alot of people have asked that to there Doctors, and your right..they sit there and can't answer it, unless he opens up, which alot of them are cold as fish..lol. I guess it would be like the HIV thing, People that are not educated in areas to give that kind of info , unless I had it, Which this cancer could be worst, Don't know, Sweet had the best info, if your hopping be safe and slap on some protection, if your safe, staying with the same partner, trust...thanks for giving 30 secs of a smile on the face..MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! Dennis, in Tennessee
  • Hal61
    Hal61 Member Posts: 655
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    I talked to my radiologist onc yesterday, the 23rd--had routine appt.--and she said the idea that HPV 12 or 18 "causes" cancer is stated incorectly. "Associated with" is the kind of language found in most literature. Like John points out, there is dormancy, there is the "sloughing off" of any HPV virus that happens for most people. Still, if I were sexually active, I'd refrain, because it's not something, like TV, that I can't do without.

    Like Joel says, I've read that "deep" kissing can spread HPV, but I think a simple mouthpiece like they use in football or boxing would suffice . . . helmet optional.

    Thanks for the stats Sweet. I now blame the Finnish children for my situation.

    Hal
  • Hal61
    Hal61 Member Posts: 655
    Options
    I talked to my radiologist onc yesterday, the 23rd--had routine appt.--and she said the idea that HPV 12 or 18 "causes" cancer is stated incorectly. "Associated with" is the kind of language found in most literature. Like John points out, there is dormancy, there is the "sloughing off" of any HPV virus that happens for most people. Still, if I were sexually active, I'd refrain, because it's not something, like TV, that I can't do without.

    Like Joel says, I've read that "deep" kissing can spread HPV, but I think a simple mouthpiece like they use in football or boxing would suffice . . . helmet optional.

    Thanks for the stats Sweet. I now blame the Finnish children for my situation.

    Hal
  • sweetblood22
    sweetblood22 Member Posts: 3,228
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    Hal61 said:

    I talked to my radiologist onc yesterday, the 23rd--had routine appt.--and she said the idea that HPV 12 or 18 "causes" cancer is stated incorectly. "Associated with" is the kind of language found in most literature. Like John points out, there is dormancy, there is the "sloughing off" of any HPV virus that happens for most people. Still, if I were sexually active, I'd refrain, because it's not something, like TV, that I can't do without.

    Like Joel says, I've read that "deep" kissing can spread HPV, but I think a simple mouthpiece like they use in football or boxing would suffice . . . helmet optional.

    Thanks for the stats Sweet. I now blame the Finnish children for my situation.

    Hal

    funny
    your killin' me right now. :}

    the way my social life is going im not going to need to worry about this anyway....but the image of someone in nothing but a football helmet and a mouth guard...well and maybe a pogo stick....

    and dont pick on the finnish kids...
  • Hondo
    Hondo Member Posts: 6,636 Member
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    Hal61 said:

    I talked to my radiologist onc yesterday, the 23rd--had routine appt.--and she said the idea that HPV 12 or 18 "causes" cancer is stated incorectly. "Associated with" is the kind of language found in most literature. Like John points out, there is dormancy, there is the "sloughing off" of any HPV virus that happens for most people. Still, if I were sexually active, I'd refrain, because it's not something, like TV, that I can't do without.

    Like Joel says, I've read that "deep" kissing can spread HPV, but I think a simple mouthpiece like they use in football or boxing would suffice . . . helmet optional.

    Thanks for the stats Sweet. I now blame the Finnish children for my situation.

    Hal

    Hal
    Don’t forget the Chastity Belt
  • Skiffin16
    Skiffin16 Member Posts: 8,305 Member
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    funny
    your killin' me right now. :}

    the way my social life is going im not going to need to worry about this anyway....but the image of someone in nothing but a football helmet and a mouth guard...well and maybe a pogo stick....

    and dont pick on the finnish kids...

    Monty Python Time
    This is begining to sound like the makings of a good Monty Python movie......maybe at the very least a Woody Allen movie.

    JG
  • Hal61
    Hal61 Member Posts: 655
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    And the Winner Is . . .
    Kimba1505. Gotta love that Mark. Best laugh I've had in a long time. Oh, and look out for those speed reading bumps.

    Hal
  • Kimba1505
    Kimba1505 Member Posts: 557
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    Hondo said:

    Hal
    Don’t forget the Chastity Belt

    Yes.
    Mark says it is good physical therapy. Mark told his doctor at the onset, "I am not afraid to die; I am not afraid of treatment; I am afraid of not having a quality of life." We are living life and will face what comes.
    Merry Christmas everyone.
    Kim
  • sweetblood22
    sweetblood22 Member Posts: 3,228
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    Hal61 said:

    And the Winner Is . . .
    Kimba1505. Gotta love that Mark. Best laugh I've had in a long time. Oh, and look out for those speed reading bumps.

    Hal

    Kimba
    LIKE!!! Hahaha!
  • tonyanddenise
    tonyanddenise Member Posts: 70
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    Kimba1505 said:

    Yes.
    Mark says it is good physical therapy. Mark told his doctor at the onset, "I am not afraid to die; I am not afraid of treatment; I am afraid of not having a quality of life." We are living life and will face what comes.
    Merry Christmas everyone.
    Kim

    You two are looking well!
    You two are looking well! thought that I would poke around here for some answers. Good to see familiar faces.
  • tonyanddenise
    tonyanddenise Member Posts: 70
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    Congratulations!
    I remember reading your posts early on. I was very afraid of what was ahead. Now you are an inspiration! I am down 80# since June can barely swallow. My peg is still in but I rarely use it unless I get too weak.Eating is difficult at best, I force myself to do so. I was a food fanatic, I love to cook and eat! Tabasco on everything. Just for the flavor, not the heat.
    I have a great appetite just not much of an ability. Must say the "sex".... I'm jealous. Seems the chemo or the radiation and the meds. have virtually killed that too. Soooo there must be hope after all!!
    Any advice on eating would be greatly appreciated. I am pasta'd out!
  • Skiffin16
    Skiffin16 Member Posts: 8,305 Member
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    Congratulations!
    I remember reading your posts early on. I was very afraid of what was ahead. Now you are an inspiration! I am down 80# since June can barely swallow. My peg is still in but I rarely use it unless I get too weak.Eating is difficult at best, I force myself to do so. I was a food fanatic, I love to cook and eat! Tabasco on everything. Just for the flavor, not the heat.
    I have a great appetite just not much of an ability. Must say the "sex".... I'm jealous. Seems the chemo or the radiation and the meds. have virtually killed that too. Soooo there must be hope after all!!
    Any advice on eating would be greatly appreciated. I am pasta'd out!

    Time
    Unfortunately, nothing you haven't heard or read already....time will eventually heal you, it just takes a longer in some cases.

    Best,
    John