I hate the beast, December bad news, and falling on the ice....mad and tears....

KathiM
KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
I was at a computer client's office yesterday that I have literally not seen in 2 years. It is a family owned business, and, right after my first fight with the beast (rectal), the older sister lost her battle with anal cancer...she was 37. The family held together, and we have been more than just client/consultant forever. They were so supportive when my daughter was killed.

So, I was there fixing a database problem, and the youngest daughter was saying how her dad was changing and talking about the 'more important' things in life...other than the things...you all know, the lesson we learn courtesy of the beast. Alarm bells started in my head, but we just kept talking. I said that is very good, considering he had to bury a daughter, just like me, and that lesson needs to be learned about how precious life is. So, then she left and dad came in. He dropped it on me. He has non-responsive brain cancer. He is ok with passing, but has not told his daughter yet, just his son that will take over the business after he is gone.

I sucked it up while I was there, brave face and all. But, as soon as I left, I pulled over and sobbed. This beast is soooooooo unfair!!!!!!! This family has already been damaged...why AGAIN!!!! DAMN that beast!!!

Thanks for letting me vent...I am sitting here with tears streaming....on the radio I just heard 'there are angels around us'....I thought of you all.....

Hugs, Kathi
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Comments

  • TraciInLA
    TraciInLA Member Posts: 1,994 Member
    #2
    Kathi,
    It's so hard to have to feel so helpless while you watch cancer beat up a family again and again like this.

    Please just know that your presence and your own experience in this fight and your caring really DO help this family and really DO make things a tiny bit easier for them, more than you realize.

    Big hug back at you,

    Traci
  • carkris
    carkris Member Posts: 4,553 Member
    #3
    TraciInLA said:

    Kathi,
    It's so hard to have to feel so helpless while you watch cancer beat up a family again and again like this.

    Please just know that your presence and your own experience in this fight and your caring really DO help this family and really DO make things a tiny bit easier for them, more than you realize.

    Big hug back at you,

    Traci

    I couldnt have said it
    I couldnt have said it better than Traci as usual. It is unfair. Cancer just sucks BIG TIME!
  • Moopy23
    Moopy23 Member Posts: 1,751 Member
    #4
    Angels
    Oh, Kathi, you are not alone in your tears. I am so sorry, and angry. I hate cancer! People who do evil can live years and years, when good and loving and true lives are taken. I wish I were there to hug you in person. Angels are here, you know: You are one. I will pray for this younger daughter and her father whom she loves so much.
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159 Member
    #5
    We cry both with and for so
    We cry both with and for so many Kindred Spirits, don't we? The good, the horrible, the joyous milestones and the unthinkable~ we are here for all of it. Why? Because we are part of it~ "It" being not just the beast, but being compassionate valuable members of the Family of Human Kindness.
    You, sweet Kathi are one of the brightest of the shining stars in this compassionate community.

    Damn the Beast indeed!

    And bless your heart.

    Hugs,
    Chen♥
  • lynn1950
    lynn1950 Member Posts: 2,570
    #6
    This is so sad. Cancer is
    This is so sad. Cancer is such a cruel, brutal beast. I'm guessing that the dad is not so old if the oldest daughter was only 37 two years ago. Hugs to you, Kathi.
  • missrenee
    missrenee Member Posts: 2,136 Member
    #7
    lynn1950 said:

    This is so sad. Cancer is
    This is so sad. Cancer is such a cruel, brutal beast. I'm guessing that the dad is not so old if the oldest daughter was only 37 two years ago. Hugs to you, Kathi.

    Oh, Kathi--my heart goes out to you and your friends
    No one should have to endure any of this. It's so unfair. There is no rhyme or reason to it. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and this poor family who have already suffered enough.

    Hugs, Renee
  • aisling8
    aisling8 Member Posts: 1,627 Member
    #8
    missrenee said:

    Oh, Kathi--my heart goes out to you and your friends
    No one should have to endure any of this. It's so unfair. There is no rhyme or reason to it. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and this poor family who have already suffered enough.

    Hugs, Renee

    So very
    not fair and, no, I never expected fair, but if one family has had more than enough, I at least hope they would get a break.

    Thinking of you, and your friends, and sending good thoughts,

    xoxo
    Victoria
  • Gabe N Abby Mom
    Gabe N Abby Mom Member Posts: 2,413
    #9
    Oh Kathi, what a difficult
    Oh Kathi, what a difficult journey for your friends. One of the bright spots for them is you, because I know you'll be there generously giving your support, love, and courage. Because that is who you are.

    My thoughts and prayers for you and your friends,

    Linda
  • Jean 0609
    Jean 0609 Member Posts: 2,462
    #10
    Hi Kathi,
    This is so sad. Hope you felt a little better after venting. Sending you a big cyber hug. Jean
  • jo jo
    jo jo Member Posts: 1,175 Member
    #11
    Oh Kathi, your right life
    Oh Kathi, your right life isnt fair. All the trials we go thru they make us who we are today. You must of had many trials in your life cuz you are one of the most caring and sensitive people that i can say i have ever met and you rub off on people.
    Im truely sorry for this man and his family...it is a tradgedy and i will be prayin for them.
  • RE
    RE Member Posts: 4,591 Member
    #12
    :,-(
    Oh Kathi I am so extremely sorry to hear this, I agree it is not fair and yet we still must deal with the losses and triumphs alike. My heart simply aches for you, your dear friend and his family. Hold tight to the knowledge that life is what we make it while we are here and know that your friend is at peace with his situation. I realize how hard that is because my sister was more that at peace with her situation when we lost her, I on the other hand was mad as H---! Now close your eye's take a deep breath and imagine us all encircling your wrapping our caring arms around you in cyber space to help absorb a bit of your pain. I am truly sorry Kathi!

    Love,

    RE
  • smalldoggroomer
    smalldoggroomer Member Posts: 1,184
    #13
    You were put in their life
    You were put in their life for a reason. You have helped them more then you know. I cry right along with you for them. We all do. I hate cancer too and together we will defeat this awful beast. Take care and remember we are all here with you darlin. Kay
  • Marcia527
    Marcia527 Member Posts: 2,729
    #14
    Hugs!!

    Hugs!!
  • New Flower
    New Flower Member Posts: 4,294 Member
    #15
    Marcia527 said:

    Hugs!!

    Hugs!!

    Very sad
    Hugs from me as well
  • skipper85
    skipper85 Member Posts: 229
    #16
    Kathi

    I'm so sorry to hear this sad news. I just don't have words anymore. My sister has been battling breast cancer for over 16 years. Her days are numbered now. The nurse says maybe two weeks more - that is 3 months after they gave her 2 days to live. Why do people have to suffer like that. Her family is exhausted from caring for her - not to mention the emotional rollercoaster they are on. My 87 year old Mom is so distraught there is no way to comfort her. All any of us have left is prayer - our first and last line of defense against the beast.

    You and your friends are in my prayers tonight.

    (((HUGS)))

    Skipper
  • fauxma
    fauxma Member Posts: 3,577 Member
    #17
    Kathi,
    I so wish I could
    Kathi,
    I so wish I could reach over and give you a big hug and wipe your tears and tell you that it will be okay. But the truth is, and you know this better than most, that the beast is not fair and doesn't care if it has caused pain and suffering to a family. And that's what you hate and so do I. It is so difficult to see people we love and care for suffer with this diagnosis. I know you will rebound because that is your strength and your spirit. You have faced so much and with such bravery and you will get through this also. But it hurts like hell anyway. I still always find it harder to hear of others with cancer or just life troubles than I do hearing or dealing with it myself and I think that you are much the same. Anyway, I am sending a big cyber hug and thinking only kind thoughts for you and your friends.
    With love to a friend,
    Stef
  • sausageroll
    sausageroll Member Posts: 415
    #18
    fauxma said:

    Kathi,
    I so wish I could
    Kathi,
    I so wish I could reach over and give you a big hug and wipe your tears and tell you that it will be okay. But the truth is, and you know this better than most, that the beast is not fair and doesn't care if it has caused pain and suffering to a family. And that's what you hate and so do I. It is so difficult to see people we love and care for suffer with this diagnosis. I know you will rebound because that is your strength and your spirit. You have faced so much and with such bravery and you will get through this also. But it hurts like hell anyway. I still always find it harder to hear of others with cancer or just life troubles than I do hearing or dealing with it myself and I think that you are much the same. Anyway, I am sending a big cyber hug and thinking only kind thoughts for you and your friends.
    With love to a friend,
    Stef

    Dear Kathi.
    I don't why, but I get tongue tied at moments like this. Like Stef, for me it is so much harder to see others going through hell, than having to go through it myself. My Father had 2 favourite sayings.."Life is not fair" and "Always keep smiling."
    I'll be thinking of you and your friends Kathi! take care. Pat
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #19
    Thank you, my sweet sisters....
    for all of your support and kind words!

    Today is a better day. I listened to what you all said, and I have pulled myself up, dusted myself off, and am ready to be there whenever they need me!!!!

    To have a blood sister does not necessarily mean you have a friend. To have my bc sisters (you all), it's a given!!!

    Hugs, Kathi
  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    #20
    Kathi:
    Vent away...we all need to...at times...this is your time..

    so sorry with all you have been through...
  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    #21
    sausageroll said:

    Dear Kathi.
    I don't why, but I get tongue tied at moments like this. Like Stef, for me it is so much harder to see others going through hell, than having to go through it myself. My Father had 2 favourite sayings.."Life is not fair" and "Always keep smiling."
    I'll be thinking of you and your friends Kathi! take care. Pat

    Sausageroll
    THAT is one of my favorite sayings...LIFE IS NOT FAIR..and so true..

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