Trying not to worry.

jamiegww
jamiegww Member Posts: 384 Member
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
But I think I see the roller coaster headed my way again. Yesterday was my first mammogram since my dx last year. I thought it would go quickly since I only have one boob to torture but after seeing everyone else come and go and being the last one remaining, I knew something wasn't good. I had to get a second set of films and apparently there is a spot the radiologist is concerned about. She is going to get my films from last year to compare and so now I'm playing the waiting game. I'm furious with myself because the cancer center made the appointment for me and when I asked them if I needed to get my films from last year, they said no. That was the wrong answer and I should have known that! I have so many questions going through my head like did the chemo not work or was this spot there last year and they didn't notice because they were so concentrated on the obvious lump in the other breast??? I'm tearing myself in half with one side wanting to get the breast removed so I won't be lopsided anymore and the other side absolutely not wanting to even think that it's cancer AGAIN so soon. I can't discuss this with anyone else because I don't want to seem like the woman who cried wolf and well honestly they just wouldn't understand so thank you all for letting me get this out.

Jamie
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Comments

  • Marcia527
    Marcia527 Member Posts: 2,729
    #2
    I did not take last years
    I did not take last years films with me either. You did the right thing. I read that if you can, have all the mammograms done in one place which makes it easier if you need to retrieve them. It's a scary time when you are waiting but try not to worry. Hugs.
  • Christmas Girl
    Christmas Girl Member Posts: 3,682 Member
    #3
    Your worry...
    ... is totally understandable, Jamie. Truly, I wish this wasn't happening to you, at all. Am sincerely hoping the "spot" of concern turns out to be nothing, that the radiologist is simply practicing extra caution because of your history. And that you'll have an answer as quickly as possible.

    Kind regards, Susan
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159 Member
    #4
    (((((((hugs)))))) to you as
    (((((((hugs)))))) to you as you are playing the difficult waiting game. I too hope that it is simply the sign of a diligent radiologist, and that the news will be good. And, if your scariest fears are indeed realized, know that we are of course with you, holding you up, walking with you and getting you through it. As you help us, we help you. That's what this amazing family does...

    Chen♥
  • MyTurnNow
    MyTurnNow Member Posts: 2,686 Member
    #5
    Jamie, I totally understand
    Jamie, I totally understand your worry but hope that it turns out to be a false alarm. I think it's only normal for "US" to worry about a recurrence. Like Chen said, if the worst happens, we're with you all the way. But, I am waiting to hear that everything is fine and you are dancing with NED.

    P.S. He (NED) ought to be rested up for you. He's been a busy guy the last couple of days and I'd like to see him stay that way!!
  • Findingout
    Findingout Member Posts: 132
    #6
    your post
    How could they think of you as the one who cried wolf? Your concerns are so ligitimate!!! And all your feelings are, too. How could you not have them? It's this not-having-control feeling. I just signed up because I just got a cancer diagnosis on Monday.
  • Heatherbelle
    Heatherbelle Member Posts: 1,226 Member
    #7
    Findingout said:

    your post
    How could they think of you as the one who cried wolf? Your concerns are so ligitimate!!! And all your feelings are, too. How could you not have them? It's this not-having-control feeling. I just signed up because I just got a cancer diagnosis on Monday.

    Jamie,
    The waiting game is
    Jamie,
    The waiting game is sometimes the worst part. I'm keeping you in my prayers that it won't be anything to worry about.
    Findingout - so sorry to hear about your recent diagnosis. I'm glad you found this site though as it has really helped me through my diagnosis and treatment this year. I agree that the feeling of being out of control of it all is a terrible one.
    Please both of you know that we're here for you :)
    *hugs*
    Heather
  • fauxma
    fauxma Member Posts: 3,577 Member
    #8
    Heatherbelle said:

    Jamie,
    The waiting game is
    Jamie,
    The waiting game is sometimes the worst part. I'm keeping you in my prayers that it won't be anything to worry about.
    Findingout - so sorry to hear about your recent diagnosis. I'm glad you found this site though as it has really helped me through my diagnosis and treatment this year. I agree that the feeling of being out of control of it all is a terrible one.
    Please both of you know that we're here for you :)
    *hugs*
    Heather

    I agree that waiting can be
    I agree that waiting can be the worst and will also keep prayers coming that it is not anything serious. If it is, as Chen and others said, we will be here for you.
    Stef
  • Gabe N Abby Mom
    Gabe N Abby Mom Member Posts: 2,413
    #9
    Just sending my prayers and
    Just sending my prayers and thoughts for peace as you wait, and that it does turn out to be nothing.

    Hugs,

    Linda
  • Ritzy
    Ritzy Member Posts: 4,381 Member
    #10
    Gabe N Abby Mom said:

    Just sending my prayers and
    Just sending my prayers and thoughts for peace as you wait, and that it does turn out to be nothing.

    Hugs,

    Linda

    The waiting game is horrible
    The waiting game is horrible and I sympathize with you. But, remember that all of your sisters in pink not only understand, but, are waiting with you in spirit.

    That's right, we are right here for you, always.


    Please let us know what you find out. Praying for you!


    Sue :)
  • missrenee
    missrenee Member Posts: 2,136 Member
    #11
    Ritzy said:

    The waiting game is horrible
    The waiting game is horrible and I sympathize with you. But, remember that all of your sisters in pink not only understand, but, are waiting with you in spirit.

    That's right, we are right here for you, always.


    Please let us know what you find out. Praying for you!


    Sue :)

    Jamie--I just played that game
    The waiting is so, so hard. But, I think NED's on a roll this week. We are going to keep him dancing like crazy for the rest of this year and beyond. I agree with some of the other sisters--I think with our histories, the docs are super-diligent in studying those scans, x-rays and tests which is good. I'm sending all the positive energy and prayers I can for perfect news.

    Hugs, Renee
  • roseann4
    roseann4 Member Posts: 992 Member
    #12
    missrenee said:

    Jamie--I just played that game
    The waiting is so, so hard. But, I think NED's on a roll this week. We are going to keep him dancing like crazy for the rest of this year and beyond. I agree with some of the other sisters--I think with our histories, the docs are super-diligent in studying those scans, x-rays and tests which is good. I'm sending all the positive energy and prayers I can for perfect news.

    Hugs, Renee

    How painful!
    After all we've been through it is like a flashback to have this happen. I can't do anything to help other than to say....I feel your pain. Hugs and good wishes. I suggest that in addition to bringing the prior years pics that you ask if the radiologist will be available to read your pics before you leave. That way you will know right away instead of waiting for a call or a letter. I did that for my last two mammos and it was great.

    Roseann
  • Alexis F
    Alexis F Member Posts: 3,598
    #13
    Heatherbelle said:

    Jamie,
    The waiting game is
    Jamie,
    The waiting game is sometimes the worst part. I'm keeping you in my prayers that it won't be anything to worry about.
    Findingout - so sorry to hear about your recent diagnosis. I'm glad you found this site though as it has really helped me through my diagnosis and treatment this year. I agree that the feeling of being out of control of it all is a terrible one.
    Please both of you know that we're here for you :)
    *hugs*
    Heather

    The first time I went to
    The first time I went to another cancer center, they asked for me to have all of my past mammograms sent to them, before I even went to them. They should have done that for you. I am so sorry to read of your diagnosis. Praying for you!


    Lex
  • ladyg
    ladyg Member Posts: 1,577
    #14
    Waiting is
    sometimes the hardest thing there is. Someone should have given you a heads up that you should bring all of your past records. I will keep you in my thoughts and hope it turns out to be nothing.

    Hugs,
    Georgia
  • smalldoggroomer
    smalldoggroomer Member Posts: 1,184
    #15
    Oh Jamie, I am so sorry you
    Oh Jamie, I am so sorry you have this to deal with. You have been through so much already. How long before you will know anything? The waiting is the hardest part It will be a calcification or some thing that was there before and nothing to worry about I'm sure. I know what you mean about being lopsided I had a mastectomy right side. I struggled with having both off. But the Dr told me it very rarely comes back in the other breast... And ever since I had surgery there is times I still wish I had done both. I wish you all the best please keep us posted try not to worry to much I'm sure its nothing. Take care Kay
  • cahjah75
    cahjah75 Member Posts: 2,631
    #16
    Jamie
    waiting is harder than anything and I'm really surprised they were not prepared to compare by having last years mammo right in front of them. Shame on them! I hope the wait goes by fast so you can take a deep sigh of relief. Wishing you the best news.
    {{hugs}} Char
  • jnl
    jnl Member Posts: 3,869 Member
    #17
    ladyg said:

    Waiting is
    sometimes the hardest thing there is. Someone should have given you a heads up that you should bring all of your past records. I will keep you in my thoughts and hope it turns out to be nothing.

    Hugs,
    Georgia

    I hated the waiting and
    I hated the waiting and still do. So sorry that you had to go through this. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.


    Leeza
  • jamiegww
    jamiegww Member Posts: 384 Member
    #18
    cahjah75 said:

    Jamie
    waiting is harder than anything and I'm really surprised they were not prepared to compare by having last years mammo right in front of them. Shame on them! I hope the wait goes by fast so you can take a deep sigh of relief. Wishing you the best news.
    {{hugs}} Char

    Scheduled for ultrasound next Tuesday.
    I fell apart at the oncologist office yesterday when I found out it would be another week or so before the comparison was done so I contacted the imaging center where my films were. They had them ready to be mailed out and I drove over, picked them up, and took them to where I had my mammo this week. I had offered to do that in the first place but they insisted on taking care of it. I guess they don't know how stressful it is waiting for the results??? I'm so glad I got them over there early enough for the radiologist to look at them because I was told the doctors don't work on Fridays so I would have had to wait until Monday. I got the call a couple of hours after dropping off the films to schedule an ultrasound. I feel lucky that I could get an appointment for next week. I'll let you know how the ultrasound goes.
  • Annette 11
    Annette 11 Member Posts: 380
    #19
    Jamie
    Oh, it's torture to wait for the tests to come back. We all can relate to that! I pray yours will be NED!! I have feeling it will come back clean. Hang in there Jamie...we are with you and praying for you. Keep busy until you hear.
    Hugs
    Annette
  • Angie2U
    Angie2U Member Posts: 2,991
    #20
    Annette 11 said:

    Jamie
    Oh, it's torture to wait for the tests to come back. We all can relate to that! I pray yours will be NED!! I have feeling it will come back clean. Hang in there Jamie...we are with you and praying for you. Keep busy until you hear.
    Hugs
    Annette

    I always hate waiting for
    I always hate waiting for the results. I have no patience at all when it comes to wanting to know. I am praying you will hear the word NED!


    Hugs, Angie
  • amoccia53160
    amoccia53160 Member Posts: 10
    #21
    Don't worry!
    My breast surgeon and rad onc told me they ALWAYS find something with the first mamo. They both said to bring them the films and ignore what the radiologist says until I meet with them, Both said that 99% of the time it is a clip left in, or scar tissue or something totally benign. They also told me that bc survivors films are more closely looked at.Even if it is not the affected breast. Keep your chin up. It's probably nothing. xxooAnnette

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