Loosing my hair!

Jean 0609

Hi TxRn64,
I was more upset about losing my boob than my hair. I started getting it cut a little at a time. Near the end of my chemo I finally ended up buzzing it. Couldn't bring myself to shaving it. I actually ended up not losing it completely. I was one of the lucky ones. I have wigs, but most of the time wear a baseball cap when I run out.

What part of Virginia are you from?

Hugs, Jean

Ladymom

Yup, I've been devastated by
Yup, I've been devastated by my hair loss. I think it bothers some of us more than others. Go ahead and allow yourself to mourn the loss of your hair. It is good to be alive but chemo totally sucks! I'll soldier on but I won't like it.

sea60

Very much so.
It was so hard to actually "see" what cancer was doing to me. Losing your hair really hits home with reality.

I remember driving back from a lady who did the same thing. She cut my hair short to try and "soften the blow". I remember just feeling so very sad. Thank God for K-Love radio that plays such uplifting music. As I was sinking in despair, music of hope was holding me up!

When it finally just came all out, my grown son was in the bathroom as I was attempting to do something with the last sprigs. Then I cried. We switched roles. I became a crying child in my son's arms.

It WILL pass. You'll get through it and your hair will grow back. This experience will just srengthen you more to appreciate things like hair (even bad hair days).

God bless and comfort you.
Hugs...Sylvia

Grandma X 6

Hair Loss
I agree with all of our pink Sisters it is never loosing your hair but once I had it buzzed off it was easier than watching it fall out and what a mess. I'm glad I did not shave it I never lost all of it, I would run my hand over my head to feel the stubble's it reminded me it will be back. It is so easy for people to say it is only hair when they are not in your shoes. Hang in there it will get easier.Don't be afraid to ask your DR. if you need help with the depression. I lived in Galveston many years ago loved Texas, now I am in Ct. Good Luck and you are never alone most of us have been where you are and will be here for you.Your in my prays. Cindy

joyyee1

I had a bilateral mastectomy
I had a bilateral mastectomy last December and I handled that WAY better than the hair loss.

I had short and very fine hair but it was MY hair and I missed it. At first, I was very self-conscience about my wig- but that got better, and I even went out one day and bought another wig. The second wig was more "fun" and I named it Gigi!! My first wig is "Helen" and it is more conservative and serious looking. My friends think it's hilarious that I've named my wigs!

I live in the Houston area where it's hot most of the time so the wigs come off the minute I get home!
My chemo is over and my hair is starting to grow back- but just some fuzz so far. When I'ts long enough- the wig will come off for good! I have made a vow never to complain about my hair again!!

I know just how you feel but hang in there.. it will get better and you may even enjoy your wig!

juanita76

Tx i totally get where ur
Tx i totally get where ur coming frm even though you know its coming you pray tht you would be the lucky one tht doesnt lose their hair i just started losing mine i asked my husband to shave my head on wednesday it was the hardest him and me had ever done i cried the whole time he was shaving it but i wanted to be the one in control of when i lost all of it so i wouldnt see it fall little by little. Some advice i give you find yourself a wig and get your family involved. My kids were present when i was getting shaved they asked questions and they are comfortable with my wigs and they tell me that im still pretty and thts cuz my son is 6 and the other shes 5 and my youngest dont care shes only 2. But my sister and my mom were present as well so it wouldnt be as hard for me. But I know its hard i was depressed for a while but having everyone compliment me on my wig and my husband constantly telling me that im beautiful no matter wht has really helped. Just hang in there i know its hard its wht makes us women. But your not alone we have all gone through tht

carriesoup

hang in there
i was definitely devastated when i started losing my hair! i would try to fix it and it was just falling out. this was one of the worst things for me. i did get really depressed about it. it was a friday when it started and i had a wedding to go to the next day. i wanted to keep my hair for that. sunday, i had my boyfriend shave it down short. i felt a whole lot better taking control of the situation. i managed to have it short for a week, it actually looked ok. (i wear a lot of big headbands, so i managed to pull it off for the week) then it was getting really patchy, so i had to shave it right down to the skin.

i have a wig, but i don't like it that much. i wear scarves (i thought i would really hate them, but i love them) and i have my favorite knit hat. i kind of like wearing scarves, people kind of have an idea of what's going on with me. it's my badge of courage! i still work full time, i feel proud that people see me and obviously know i'm going through chemo, and still working.

hang in there. it gets better, i promise. still really weird to look in the mirror!

*hugs* and positive energy coming your way!

carrie

Heatherbelle

yes i was devastated just like you
Hi
Yes, I had a terrible time with losing my hair. In fact, I still have a good cry over my hair once every few weeks. I'm done with chemo, almost done with reconstruction, but with no hair (well my head is stubbly, I never went completely bald) and barely any eyelashes left, I look sick. I miss my hair. It was harder for me to lose my hair than my boobs. I get the "why me's" also. I think you need to allow yourself to have those moments. Cry the tears, get the anger & frustration & fear & sadness out. I always feel better afterwards. My hair was long, almost to my waist, i had big chunky blonde highlights in it -it was gorgeous. I cut it super short in stages before it fell out so i could get used to it. I thought I was one of those people who just didn't look right with short hair but you know what - my hair looked GOOD short. I also thought I wasn't a hat person but I have gotten some really cute knit type hats, the beanie stocking caps, and they look so cute on me without hair, i can't wait until i can wear them WITH my hair when it grows back. I didn't like the idea of scarves -they reminded me of my grandma's style, women in their 30s dont wear scarves on their heads. Well, I went on ebay & bought myself a silk Christian Dior one, and another silk Coach one. The silk feels fabulous on my head, and they have the trendy logos on them which are pretty stylish. I have giant hoop earrings that I wear, and I waaay overdo it with the dark eyeliner these days. My thought from day one was -if I gotta do this chemo, and lose my hair - then I'm going to do it fabulously. I had my husband shave my head with his clippers once the falling out got to the point where I had visible bald spots & it just looked terrible. That gave me a feeling of control over the situation. We shaved it into a mohawk first & took some fun pics. My kids loved that. However, in the end, losing my hair was, and still is, very traumatic for me. I know, and people close to me say, "it's only hair", and "it will grow back", and "beauty is on the inside" - but still - i dont like how i look like this & i want it back!
One thing I've done is been taking prenatal vitamins -they have always made my hair & nails grow quickly.
Hang in there sister, I know it's hard & it sucks. It is really hard in the beginning but it does get easier to handle. And you're not alone in your feelings at all.
*hugs*
Heather

Heatherbelle

joyyee1 said:

I had a bilateral mastectomy
I had a bilateral mastectomy last December and I handled that WAY better than the hair loss.

I had short and very fine hair but it was MY hair and I missed it. At first, I was very self-conscience about my wig- but that got better, and I even went out one day and bought another wig. The second wig was more "fun" and I named it Gigi!! My first wig is "Helen" and it is more conservative and serious looking. My friends think it's hilarious that I've named my wigs!

I live in the Houston area where it's hot most of the time so the wigs come off the minute I get home!
My chemo is over and my hair is starting to grow back- but just some fuzz so far. When I'ts long enough- the wig will come off for good! I have made a vow never to complain about my hair again!!

I know just how you feel but hang in there.. it will get better and you may even enjoy your wig!

Joyyee - love the wig names!!
Helen & Gigi - I LOVE it!!!! Thanks for the great laugh to start my day off! I too have a couple of wigs that I thought I wouldn't wear but I do! For everyday it's usually a hat. A funny story about one of my wigs - my hair is naturally really dark brown, and one of the wigs I got is a super light, almost platinum blonde bob. I have a friend who does drag shows, and she helped organize a breast cancer benefit-karaoke drag show at a local bar, and my husband & i and our best friends went. We had a wonderful time & they ended up raising something like $1300 for the Making Strides Against Breast Cancer walk. Anyway, I'm showing my dad pictures on my digital camera from the night, and there's a picture of me & my best friend. Granted - i was wearing heavy black glitter eyeliner & quite dressed up - but my dad asked me if that was a drag queen with my best friend in the pic!!!! I said "DAAAAAAAD - that's MEE!!". I'm still laughing about "Helen" your conservative wig
*hugs*
Heather

Boppy_of_6

mollyz said:

Hair
Hi I had long hair also and yes it was hard i thought i would be the one that the hair wouldn't fall out but it did and it was hard but i refused to cry and get depressed I'm a christian and i know God is taking me threw this for a reason and I'm going to go threw this ordeal with Jesus on my lips,I laid in the bed 4 and 5 days after chemo this summer so very sick but i still called Jesus name,I said that to say this no matter what I'm going threw I'm not going to let cancer call the shots on my emotions it's all scarey to me but remember it's little kids going threw what we're going threw no hair etc... they might not have breast cancer but they have J O Y, go visit the childrens wing at the hospitals. I hate this for all of us but give God the glory in spite of. as Madeia would say it HALLELUJAH. I Love all you ladies even though we don't know each other we're in this together and we can fight it together. MOLLZ

Well said Mollyz. God
Well said Mollyz. God Bless
(((Hugs))) Janice

VickiSam

Heatherbelle said:

yes i was devastated just like you
Hi
Yes, I had a terrible time with losing my hair. In fact, I still have a good cry over my hair once every few weeks. I'm done with chemo, almost done with reconstruction, but with no hair (well my head is stubbly, I never went completely bald) and barely any eyelashes left, I look sick. I miss my hair. It was harder for me to lose my hair than my boobs. I get the "why me's" also. I think you need to allow yourself to have those moments. Cry the tears, get the anger & frustration & fear & sadness out. I always feel better afterwards. My hair was long, almost to my waist, i had big chunky blonde highlights in it -it was gorgeous. I cut it super short in stages before it fell out so i could get used to it. I thought I was one of those people who just didn't look right with short hair but you know what - my hair looked GOOD short. I also thought I wasn't a hat person but I have gotten some really cute knit type hats, the beanie stocking caps, and they look so cute on me without hair, i can't wait until i can wear them WITH my hair when it grows back. I didn't like the idea of scarves -they reminded me of my grandma's style, women in their 30s dont wear scarves on their heads. Well, I went on ebay & bought myself a silk Christian Dior one, and another silk Coach one. The silk feels fabulous on my head, and they have the trendy logos on them which are pretty stylish. I have giant hoop earrings that I wear, and I waaay overdo it with the dark eyeliner these days. My thought from day one was -if I gotta do this chemo, and lose my hair - then I'm going to do it fabulously. I had my husband shave my head with his clippers once the falling out got to the point where I had visible bald spots & it just looked terrible. That gave me a feeling of control over the situation. We shaved it into a mohawk first & took some fun pics. My kids loved that. However, in the end, losing my hair was, and still is, very traumatic for me. I know, and people close to me say, "it's only hair", and "it will grow back", and "beauty is on the inside" - but still - i dont like how i look like this & i want it back!
One thing I've done is been taking prenatal vitamins -they have always made my hair & nails grow quickly.
Hang in there sister, I know it's hard & it sucks. It is really hard in the beginning but it does get easier to handle. And you're not alone in your feelings at all.
*hugs*
Heather

bumping up
Vicki

TxRn64

VickiSam said:

bumping up
Vicki

Thanks everyone! I love all
Thanks everyone! I love all the stories and some are so funny!

I had my hair cut short last night, it was easier than I expected. I thought I would cry, but I maintained control! I felt so much better after it was cut shorter, that part surprised me!

I feel much better today and in the shower this morning it was almost nice to have short small peices falling out rather than lots of long pieces.

I just wonder now how long I can hold onto what I have.

I appreicate all the support from everyone, it sure helps. I'll be glad when this hair thing is said and done so I don't have to stress about it any longer! Love to all!

Megan M

TxRn64 said:

Thanks everyone! I love all
Thanks everyone! I love all the stories and some are so funny!

I had my hair cut short last night, it was easier than I expected. I thought I would cry, but I maintained control! I felt so much better after it was cut shorter, that part surprised me!

I feel much better today and in the shower this morning it was almost nice to have short small peices falling out rather than lots of long pieces.

I just wonder now how long I can hold onto what I have.

I appreicate all the support from everyone, it sure helps. I'll be glad when this hair thing is said and done so I don't have to stress about it any longer! Love to all!

You're welcome! This is a
You're welcome! This is a great site! Good luck!

Suzie-Q-Z

TxRn64 said:

NJMom10
My wig falling off in my paitents bed makes me laugh as well! As one of my friends would say, it would only happen to me!

I read an article the other day my step-mother sent me about a wife of a man who owned a football team. She was going to a big event and one of her friends hit her on the back of her head...as the elevator doors opened to the event, her wig fell off! The story is much funnier that I'm telling it, but I almost peed my pants!

insecure wig
I have been online today researching wigs and have seen a headband that secures with velcro at the back, it's made of some sort of silicone jell so the wig will stick to it. keep your humor always.
Suzie Q

smalldoggroomer

Loosing my hair didn't
Loosing my hair didn't bother me that much. But I did get sick of being bald and messing with the scarves and stuff. i will never complain about my hair again though!!
I actually lost mine in Wal-mart!! Yeah, I was talking to my husband on the phone and looking at hinges. It just started falling out in large clumps. Got stuck on my glasses. I tried to pull it off and pulled my glasses off. I was stuffing hair in my pockets and leaving a trail out of Wal-Mart LOL. I did pay for the hinges. Hey I needed them!!
Its just hair Honey, it will grow back. I know it's a pain. And can be depressing. But I find it easier to laugh at my self then feel bad for my self. We will all get through this together. And your self worth is not in you hair. Your patients won't remember you for you hair. They will remember your loving touch, warm heart, and caring personality. Hold your head up and be proud of who you are. We are all proud of you. I know all the nurses I have met through all of this are the best in this world. I hope I have helped you. I really want you to feel better and try to keep things in perspective this to will pass. take care Kay

carkris

smalldoggroomer said:

Loosing my hair didn't
Loosing my hair didn't bother me that much. But I did get sick of being bald and messing with the scarves and stuff. i will never complain about my hair again though!!
I actually lost mine in Wal-mart!! Yeah, I was talking to my husband on the phone and looking at hinges. It just started falling out in large clumps. Got stuck on my glasses. I tried to pull it off and pulled my glasses off. I was stuffing hair in my pockets and leaving a trail out of Wal-Mart LOL. I did pay for the hinges. Hey I needed them!!
Its just hair Honey, it will grow back. I know it's a pain. And can be depressing. But I find it easier to laugh at my self then feel bad for my self. We will all get through this together. And your self worth is not in you hair. Your patients won't remember you for you hair. They will remember your loving touch, warm heart, and caring personality. Hold your head up and be proud of who you are. We are all proud of you. I know all the nurses I have met through all of this are the best in this world. I hope I have helped you. I really want you to feel better and try to keep things in perspective this to will pass. take care Kay

It should tell you by how
It should tell you by how many answers you got, how many people relate to your post. I fortunately or unfortunately was too ill, to care or to work. but when it did start to come back I felt well enough to not love it. The color came back, dark and it was curly. but I have gotten some good hairdressing and its ok. The hardest thing about going back to work is that no one recognizes me. I have lost so much weight and my hair is different, they literally walk by me. I work with a large group and dont see the same people every time I work. Everyday I have to tell people who I am. I have learned to have a sense of humor, but it makes going back to work hard, plus it is a reminder to me in reverse. I cant hide from it and I have to confront the how are you feeling, etc...
I buzzed my hair when it started to come out. I too held out hoping I would be lucky, but noo but the minute a few strands came out, and I lost it in other places(first) I just buzzed it. didnt cry. Interestingly enough when I saw women getting their head shaved on stand up for cancer I did cry.
It became my new normal, I wore scarves mostly. I had a wig, but was too sick to go out except treatments. Nobody really cared but me.
BTW I am a nurse too. It gets better!!!

TxRn64

smalldoggroomer said:

Loosing my hair didn't
Loosing my hair didn't bother me that much. But I did get sick of being bald and messing with the scarves and stuff. i will never complain about my hair again though!!
I actually lost mine in Wal-mart!! Yeah, I was talking to my husband on the phone and looking at hinges. It just started falling out in large clumps. Got stuck on my glasses. I tried to pull it off and pulled my glasses off. I was stuffing hair in my pockets and leaving a trail out of Wal-Mart LOL. I did pay for the hinges. Hey I needed them!!
Its just hair Honey, it will grow back. I know it's a pain. And can be depressing. But I find it easier to laugh at my self then feel bad for my self. We will all get through this together. And your self worth is not in you hair. Your patients won't remember you for you hair. They will remember your loving touch, warm heart, and caring personality. Hold your head up and be proud of who you are. We are all proud of you. I know all the nurses I have met through all of this are the best in this world. I hope I have helped you. I really want you to feel better and try to keep things in perspective this to will pass. take care Kay

LOL
I'm sorry Kay but that is hilarious! That has always been my fear, it will just start falling out somewhere! After a week of falling out, I seem to be getting use to the idea. I hate it being everywhere, it's driving me nuts! I hate taking a shower every morning as it's such a mess. I've told everyone to take stock in Drano because I'm about to buy them out!

Today was the first day I had to wear a hat because I have that chemo sick look now. I hate hats and not sure I'm going to like a wig but whatever works. I'm now trying to decide if I should just shave it or see if it all falls out. I'm scared to shave it because "just what if some of it stays and that would be less I have to worry about growing back ....ha I'm probably dreaming" Who would have thought I'd have to worry about making a decision to shave my head or not.

I saw a lady looking at me at the store today with my hat on (she probably wasn't even looking at me but we caugh eyes). I wanted to lay down and cry, thinking that she was feeling sad for me, or starring. She was probably thinking about her date last night but of course with my insecurities I assume she was looking at me. I DON'T WANT TO WEAR A WIG OR HAT OR ANYTHING for the next many many many months! Why can't life be normal again! Okay, guess I'm not doing as well as I thought!

TxRn64

carkris said:

It should tell you by how
It should tell you by how many answers you got, how many people relate to your post. I fortunately or unfortunately was too ill, to care or to work. but when it did start to come back I felt well enough to not love it. The color came back, dark and it was curly. but I have gotten some good hairdressing and its ok. The hardest thing about going back to work is that no one recognizes me. I have lost so much weight and my hair is different, they literally walk by me. I work with a large group and dont see the same people every time I work. Everyday I have to tell people who I am. I have learned to have a sense of humor, but it makes going back to work hard, plus it is a reminder to me in reverse. I cant hide from it and I have to confront the how are you feeling, etc...
I buzzed my hair when it started to come out. I too held out hoping I would be lucky, but noo but the minute a few strands came out, and I lost it in other places(first) I just buzzed it. didnt cry. Interestingly enough when I saw women getting their head shaved on stand up for cancer I did cry.
It became my new normal, I wore scarves mostly. I had a wig, but was too sick to go out except treatments. Nobody really cared but me.
BTW I am a nurse too. It gets better!!!

Thanks
Thanks carkris! Funny, people don't recognize me either because I've lost 45 lbs prior to even starting chemo. I guess you have to reintroduce yourself to people but I bet you look great! I'm so happy to hear you are healthy enough to be back and work!

apeake

Hang in there
I was just as upset as you are. I felt like no one understood. My family just kept sayin "It's just hair it'll grow back", but they don't understand. I finally just got to the point where I took a bath and just laid down in the tub and rubbed my head until what was falling out was gone. Then I just sat there in the tub and cried for about 1/2hr.
Then I felt a little better. I found some cute hats and then a friend (who had been through this)showed me a little trick to do with a t-shirt. Lay the t-shirt down and cut it right below the arms, then take the bottome part and use it. You just take the tub open in up so you have you head through the shirt and put the edge on your forhead and then in back take the split in your hands and start twisting them together and it will get tighter and make a rose in the back or you can slide the shirt around and have it on the side. I know this isn't something you want but you have to try to stay strong and don't let this beat you! You are a strong woman and you can beat this!! All of us that have been through this are here for you. I think it helps haveing someone who has been through this to talk to has helped me tremendously. I also know what you are going through because my hair was about the same length yours was. I now have been through me treament and my hair is starting to come back. It's knid of fun it's a little different in color and amazingly soft. It was something I thought about after I lost mine. I kind of made it a game, would it come in the same color, would it come back straight or curly. This also helped me get through this stage. Also my daughter and I made a bet on what color and straight or curly. So, those are just a little bit of ideas of what you can do to maybe help you through this tough time. I hope I've helped some. Just remember to try and stay positive, hang in there, and don't let this beat you!

Double Whammy

apeake said:

Hang in there
I was just as upset as you are. I felt like no one understood. My family just kept sayin "It's just hair it'll grow back", but they don't understand. I finally just got to the point where I took a bath and just laid down in the tub and rubbed my head until what was falling out was gone. Then I just sat there in the tub and cried for about 1/2hr.
Then I felt a little better. I found some cute hats and then a friend (who had been through this)showed me a little trick to do with a t-shirt. Lay the t-shirt down and cut it right below the arms, then take the bottome part and use it. You just take the tub open in up so you have you head through the shirt and put the edge on your forhead and then in back take the split in your hands and start twisting them together and it will get tighter and make a rose in the back or you can slide the shirt around and have it on the side. I know this isn't something you want but you have to try to stay strong and don't let this beat you! You are a strong woman and you can beat this!! All of us that have been through this are here for you. I think it helps haveing someone who has been through this to talk to has helped me tremendously. I also know what you are going through because my hair was about the same length yours was. I now have been through me treament and my hair is starting to come back. It's knid of fun it's a little different in color and amazingly soft. It was something I thought about after I lost mine. I kind of made it a game, would it come in the same color, would it come back straight or curly. This also helped me get through this stage. Also my daughter and I made a bet on what color and straight or curly. So, those are just a little bit of ideas of what you can do to maybe help you through this tough time. I hope I've helped some. Just remember to try and stay positive, hang in there, and don't let this beat you!

I love my headcovers
I hate being bald, but I love wearing most of my scarves and hats. I actually forget there's a bald head under them. My absolute favorites are Titillating Turbans http://www.titillatingturbans.com/ and Beaubeaus http://www.4women.com. They're totally different looks and I always get compliments when I wear them - always. Every time I go somewhere someone compliments me - and I'm not young and cute like you are! I also have some perky newsboy style hats from Headcovers.com. They cover the entire head unlike a regular baseball cap. I bought some other headcovers that I'm not particularly crazy about - these are definitely my favorites and when I wear them, I feel good. I really do.

I probably spent more than I would have had I purchased a wig, but I have variety and I think - fashion. Some women really feel more comfortable in a wig - I don't. I wore them in the '60's when they were in fashion. That was enough for me.

That's my 2 cents. Still watching for signs that my hair is coming back - none yet.

Suzanne