Lesley is home

marines911
marines911 Member Posts: 68
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
Lesley is finally home and the hospice nurse is great. We had some friends come over and help and spent some time with Lesley for her birthday. Lesley is a bit more alert, but still fades in and out of consciousness. I was however able to speak to her about the hospice and she was saddened that her condition has deteriorated so fast. The hospice nurses informed me that her hallucinations are a combination of the pain medications and the cancer in the brain that are causing her incoherent status. I asked if her condition will improve with the change of medications, but they said we will have to wait and see. I needed to know in order to have my girls come back from their grandma's house later or should I not let anymore time pass and have them spend as much time with their mommy as possible. I just wanted my girls to have quality time with their mommy, but it seems that Lesley's current status is about as good as it is going to get before it gets worse.

Thank you all for the prayers and the loving kind words and wisdom you all have shared with my family, I only wish you all could have met my wife before this monster took over. I know that heaven was flooded with her name being lifted up and I know that Lesley will be in the arms of the Lord soon enough and will no longer be in pain or suffering.

Eternally thankful and forever grateful,

Thomas
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Comments

  • MomMichelle
    MomMichelle Member Posts: 93
    Thomas,
    You are certainly

    Thomas,
    You are certainly right that her name has been lifted to the heavens. We will continue to keep her and your whole family in our prayers. I also pray that all her remaining time is spent pain free and in peace. We are here for you.
    Strength to you all,
    Michelle
  • smalldoggroomer
    smalldoggroomer Member Posts: 1,184
    Thomas, I am in Awe of your
    Thomas, I am in Awe of your strength and commitment to your Lesley, and your family. You are a wonderful man. The lord will take care of Lesley when he takes her home. No more pain or suffering. I don't know the ages of your girls, but maybe you can explain things to them so they know what to expect when they see Mom. And they can say goodbye, hopefully she can say goodbye. My heart breaks for you. You will always be in my thoughts and prayers. And I am honored that I got to meet you ( even though it is on the Internet ) and Lesley, she is one of my sister. Please take care of yourself and your kids. Hospice will be a great help to you also. God bless you Thomas, Kay
  • cavediver
    cavediver Member Posts: 607
    prayers and hugs
    Glad you have Leslie home now and hospice is there for all of you. Explain situation to the girls and allow them as much time as possible with their Mom.....Hospice can help you with this also. I am so sorry and my heart is so heavy for ll of you. I wish Leslie no pain and time to see her girls and spend with you and all those she loves. Many hugs
  • Aortus
    Aortus Member Posts: 967
    Peace
    It is clear that the Lord is giving you and Lesley and your loved ones the gift of Peace. As always, you are doing an amazing job on your end of holding things together. Keep on fighting the good fight, as we all know you will, because in the longest (and most important) run, you and Lesley will be the winners.
  • Aortus said:

    Peace
    It is clear that the Lord is giving you and Lesley and your loved ones the gift of Peace. As always, you are doing an amazing job on your end of holding things together. Keep on fighting the good fight, as we all know you will, because in the longest (and most important) run, you and Lesley will be the winners.

    Dearest Thomas...
    Please know that many of us are quite clumsy with words and choose to simply hold you, Lesley, and your children up through prayer.
  • Lighthouse_7
    Lighthouse_7 Member Posts: 1,566 Member

    Dearest Thomas...
    Please know that many of us are quite clumsy with words and choose to simply hold you, Lesley, and your children up through prayer.

    You are being held close in
    You are being held close in my thoughts, as is your family. I also find it hard to put words here, but I hope some comfort comes in knowing that so many blessings come from this board to you.
    God Bless,
    Wanda
  • pinkkari09
    pinkkari09 Member Posts: 877
    Thomas, bless your heart for
    Thomas, bless your heart for showing this board what it means to truly love someone. It's unfortunate that we didn't get to meet your Lesley, but a blessing we got to see your love for her. All of your posts (even the sad ones) give me an idea of what it's like to have true love. God will lift her to the heavens and there she will wait the day you all can join her. One day your family will be together again. When I lost my Mom almost three years ago I discovered that now she is with me ALL the time, not just when we are physically together. Maybe you can let the kids know that Mommy will be healthy, pain free, and at their side ALL the time, looking over her beautiful family. Please take care of yourself, it's very important you get the support you need, you have been through so much and more to come. I pray the Lord gives you strength to endure this trying time and the support you need to help you through, may He watch over Lesley, You, and your children at all times and keep all of you at peace. Amen
    Big Big Hugs,
    Kari
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    Sigh.....what a journey you
    Sigh.....what a journey you have all been on lately. And in the midst of it all, you take the time to post and keep us,your virtual family, informed. Bless your heart.
    I am "glad" ( for lack of a better word) that your Lesley is home, that the girls get to be with her, and that the hospice RN is great.

    We HAVE met your Lesley~ your loving care, your obvious devotion to your life together as a couple and with your children; has introduced her to us in ways you can't even imagine. She has become part of our lives in much the same way you have. We are all connected by heart-strings, in the joyous times and maybe even more so, in the times which break our hearts.

    Hugs to you, and of course to "our" Lesley....
    Chen♥
  • CypressCynthia
    CypressCynthia Member Posts: 4,014 Member
    Thomas, my heart is so sad
    Thomas, my heart is so sad for you. Hospice can be a real rock to lean on and a wealth of knowledge. Keep Lesley as comfortable as you can and you will know when the time is right for the kids to visit. I hope that my husband is never faced with what you are facing, but if he is, I hope he can be as brave and caring as you are.
  • VickiSam
    VickiSam Member Posts: 9,079 Member

    Thomas, my heart is so sad
    Thomas, my heart is so sad for you. Hospice can be a real rock to lean on and a wealth of knowledge. Keep Lesley as comfortable as you can and you will know when the time is right for the kids to visit. I hope that my husband is never faced with what you are facing, but if he is, I hope he can be as brave and caring as you are.

    Thomas .. besides my prayers - and hope, all I can offer
    to you and Leslie is this tibit of advice .. Please go to your children's school or schools tomorrow - perhaps your mother in law can if you can't - get prepare lessons for the next couple of weeks and have your girls/family together at home during this most difficult time .. Your girls will let you know when they will be ready to return to school or choose to stay close to Mom and home.

    Each day will bring with it new developments and tears, please find a safe place (like our site) to regenerate yourself and your emotions.

    Perhaps, Leslie may want you to write down a few special words to each girl, during her more lucid times - record her voice and words ... cherished memories.

    Maybe your younger children can paint or doodle on butcher paper love letters to Leslie their Mom - and read them to her - comforting but extremely emotional.

    You are a BRAVE sole - I send you cyber hugs, strength and prayer.


    Vicki Sam
  • pinkflutterby
    pinkflutterby Member Posts: 615 Member

    Dearest Thomas...
    Please know that many of us are quite clumsy with words and choose to simply hold you, Lesley, and your children up through prayer.

    well said
    I never know what to say to people in these situtations. I hold your family in my heart and pray for peace for all of you.
  • MyTurnNow
    MyTurnNow Member Posts: 2,686 Member
    Thomas, your news is so sad
    Thomas, your news is so sad but I am happy to read that Lesley is at home and surrounded by her family. I will continue to hope for some improvement and perhaps a miracle. You are a very dedicated spouse and I just wish that everyone having to fight this beast had the same situation. Continue to make the lasting memories while you have time. My heart breaks for your children because it is so hard for them to understand. Even though we have never met you or Lesley in person, you are all a part of this family. Sending strength to you for the coming days. Take care.
  • fauxma
    fauxma Member Posts: 3,577 Member
    MyTurnNow said:

    Thomas, your news is so sad
    Thomas, your news is so sad but I am happy to read that Lesley is at home and surrounded by her family. I will continue to hope for some improvement and perhaps a miracle. You are a very dedicated spouse and I just wish that everyone having to fight this beast had the same situation. Continue to make the lasting memories while you have time. My heart breaks for your children because it is so hard for them to understand. Even though we have never met you or Lesley in person, you are all a part of this family. Sending strength to you for the coming days. Take care.

    Thomas,
    I am glad that she

    Thomas,
    I am glad that she is home and that she has lucid moments. I can't remember the ages of your children but it would be nice for them to have some time with mom. Only you can really know if and when this should occur. I think that if they are old enough to be prepared for the changes in her that it would be good to have them home now and sharing this time with you. Children, even young ones, often surprise us. I will keep you and Lesley and your children in my prayers. I agree with all the others, we know Lesley through you. She is a very special woman.
    Stef
  • Bella Luna
    Bella Luna Member Posts: 1,578 Member
    Thomas... you are seeing
    Thomas... you are seeing this through to the end with dignity and much love. Regarding letting your daughters come see their Mother, follow your heart. I suspect they know the situation for what it is. May God grant you peace of mind and heart. Blessings to you and your beloved Family.
    BL
  • survivorbc09
    survivorbc09 Member Posts: 4,374 Member
    chenheart said:

    Sigh.....what a journey you
    Sigh.....what a journey you have all been on lately. And in the midst of it all, you take the time to post and keep us,your virtual family, informed. Bless your heart.
    I am "glad" ( for lack of a better word) that your Lesley is home, that the girls get to be with her, and that the hospice RN is great.

    We HAVE met your Lesley~ your loving care, your obvious devotion to your life together as a couple and with your children; has introduced her to us in ways you can't even imagine. She has become part of our lives in much the same way you have. We are all connected by heart-strings, in the joyous times and maybe even more so, in the times which break our hearts.

    Hugs to you, and of course to "our" Lesley....
    Chen♥

    Keeping your family close to
    Keeping your family close to my heart and in my prayers.


    Hugs, Jan
  • Miss Murphy
    Miss Murphy Member Posts: 302
    Home.....
    it's where we all want to be, surrounded by those that love us. I know you will do the right things by Lesley and your daughters in the days ahead as you have shown so much strength and courage all along the way. My heart and prayers go out to you, Lesley and your daughters.

    Sally
  • Angie2U
    Angie2U Member Posts: 2,991

    Thomas... you are seeing
    Thomas... you are seeing this through to the end with dignity and much love. Regarding letting your daughters come see their Mother, follow your heart. I suspect they know the situation for what it is. May God grant you peace of mind and heart. Blessings to you and your beloved Family.
    BL

    Lesley is home...sending you
    Lesley is home...sending you love, support and prayers.
  • padee6339
    padee6339 Member Posts: 763
    Thomas
    I had read this poem a long while back when a good friend of mine was diagnosed with Cancer. I brought it out when I received my own diagnosis. It made me cry but it also made me fight. I am winning my fight, so far, for we never know how it will turn out next week, next month, or next year. I love this little poem and want to share it with you, and know that my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family, and especially for your lovely, loving wife. May God either create a miracle for you all, or take her home in peace, surrounded by those who love her.
    Pat


    If God calls me
    (To my loving angel)

    I don’t want to leave you,
    but if God calls me
    I hope that you understand
    that I can’t say no.
    I will always be with you,
    if you keep me in your heart
    and in your thoughts,
    I will never be gone.

    I am fighting with all that I have to get better.
    I hate this cancer,
    I hate that is hurting you.
    I promised you that I will be strong
    and that I will fight,
    but please understand
    that if God calls me
    I can't say no.

    By T. Ober
  • pinkflutterby
    pinkflutterby Member Posts: 615 Member
    padee6339 said:

    Thomas
    I had read this poem a long while back when a good friend of mine was diagnosed with Cancer. I brought it out when I received my own diagnosis. It made me cry but it also made me fight. I am winning my fight, so far, for we never know how it will turn out next week, next month, or next year. I love this little poem and want to share it with you, and know that my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family, and especially for your lovely, loving wife. May God either create a miracle for you all, or take her home in peace, surrounded by those who love her.
    Pat


    If God calls me
    (To my loving angel)

    I don’t want to leave you,
    but if God calls me
    I hope that you understand
    that I can’t say no.
    I will always be with you,
    if you keep me in your heart
    and in your thoughts,
    I will never be gone.

    I am fighting with all that I have to get better.
    I hate this cancer,
    I hate that is hurting you.
    I promised you that I will be strong
    and that I will fight,
    but please understand
    that if God calls me
    I can't say no.

    By T. Ober

    Pat, what a BEAUTIFUL poem I
    Pat, what a BEAUTIFUL poem I just love it :)

    Thomas, still thinking of you and your family praying for peace and comfort.
  • Boppy_of_6
    Boppy_of_6 Member Posts: 1,138
    padee6339 said:

    Thomas
    I had read this poem a long while back when a good friend of mine was diagnosed with Cancer. I brought it out when I received my own diagnosis. It made me cry but it also made me fight. I am winning my fight, so far, for we never know how it will turn out next week, next month, or next year. I love this little poem and want to share it with you, and know that my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family, and especially for your lovely, loving wife. May God either create a miracle for you all, or take her home in peace, surrounded by those who love her.
    Pat


    If God calls me
    (To my loving angel)

    I don’t want to leave you,
    but if God calls me
    I hope that you understand
    that I can’t say no.
    I will always be with you,
    if you keep me in your heart
    and in your thoughts,
    I will never be gone.

    I am fighting with all that I have to get better.
    I hate this cancer,
    I hate that is hurting you.
    I promised you that I will be strong
    and that I will fight,
    but please understand
    that if God calls me
    I can't say no.

    By T. Ober

    I am so sorry for you and
    I am so sorry for you and Lesley your girls and all the family. You are in my thoughts and prayers. God Bless
    (((Hugs))) Janice