Im sorry for what i said

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  • DianeBC
    DianeBC Member Posts: 3,881 Member
    #22
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    fauxma said:

    Laura,
    I cannot add much to
    Laura,
    I cannot add much to what the others have posted. I am so glad that you found the strength to go forward. What you are going through is so rough and it may seem overwhelming (hell it is overwhelming) but you have 4 people that need you, your 2 boys, your girl and yourself. Follow the other's advice and tell your doctors exactly what you are going through and exactly how you feel. Tell them you are at the end of your rope and that your are not seeing a positive end to this. Be upfront and honest. They need to see the whole picture to get you the medicines, emotional, mental and physical help you need to continue your battle. Then see a social worker, ACS, and any other services available in your area to improve your home situation. But above all, know that you need to take it one day at a time, one hour at a time or even a minute at a time. Trying to look too far forward and seeing it through the eyes of today can be frightening and that vision is not necessarily how it will be. Put one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward. And hold tight to the love of your children. They truly need you. I have seen first hand what a decision like you were contemplating can cause and you don't want that to be the legacy you leave your kids. This isn't going to be easy but the rewards will be that you will get stronger every day and things will look up and get better. Both my hubby and I lost our jobs, our truck, and our house after my diagnosis. Our income dropped to less than a quarter of what it was and out of that we have to pay a large premium to keep me insured (he was eligible for medicare). But we got through it and we are doing okay. You will too, I just know it. I went back and reread some of your old posts and I see that strength, that courage. It's there, it's just a little deeper than before. To reach in and pull it out you need the help of others, so make contacts with groups and organizations that can help you, physically, emotionally and mentally. Support is out there and it is here too. We are all here for you. We love you and we were all so afraid for you. And we are all so glad that you are okay, back here and no one thinks any the less of you for what you felt. These were genuine feelings of despair that touched every heart on this board. You are loved nd we want only the very best for you.
    Stef

    Just glad to see your name
    Just glad to see your name on here! Your home situation sounds horrible and I am so sorry for that. Do you work? Could you move in with a friend or anyone else? Or, could you possibly just get a small apartment or something for yourself right now? It would be good if you were able to remove yourself from the situation at your Mom's. I hope that you can soon.

    I also hope that you seek some sort of help, as, it sounds like you are in a severe depression.

    Praying for you,

    Diane
  • Lighthouse_7
    Lighthouse_7 Member Posts: 1,566 Member
    #23
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    jo jo said:

    Laura im glad you posted cuz
    Laura im glad you posted cuz everyone has been really worried about you...i hope youve been able to see someone about your depression. Im sorry about your homelife situation but it can only get better in time.
    Hang in there Laura we will be prayin for ya.

    So glad to hear from you
    So glad to hear from you Laura. We are all praying for you.
  • cahjah75
    cahjah75 Member Posts: 2,631
    #24
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    Laura I too am
    glad you posted. We were very worried about you. Your situation is awful, to say the least. I hope you do take the suggestions about telling whoever you need to about your living situation. Someone must be able to help. Keep in contact with your children as best you can until you are in a better place to be with them all the time. I pray you have the strength to keep pushing forward. And know that we all are hear whenever you need encouragement. Sending you cyber {{hugs}}
    Char
  • smalldoggroomer
    smalldoggroomer Member Posts: 1,184
    #25
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    Laura!!! Hi!!!! I was so
    Laura!!! Hi!!!! I was so worried about you.. Glad you are back. I am so sorry you lost your house. And have a a$$ for a step-dad.. You are a good person don't let them pull you down to their level.. You are so much better then them. Have you been able to find help for your depression? Just take one day at a time. We will all help you through this. You are always in my prayers. Take care Laura. And keep talking to us. We all are here and love you. Kay
  • filimu
    filimu Member Posts: 74
    #26
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    smalldoggroomer said:

    Laura!!! Hi!!!! I was so
    Laura!!! Hi!!!! I was so worried about you.. Glad you are back. I am so sorry you lost your house. And have a a$$ for a step-dad.. You are a good person don't let them pull you down to their level.. You are so much better then them. Have you been able to find help for your depression? Just take one day at a time. We will all help you through this. You are always in my prayers. Take care Laura. And keep talking to us. We all are here and love you. Kay

    Laura, oh so glad to see your post!
    I only missed you last nite by about 45 minutes - now I'm sorry I didn't stay up a little bit longer to message you right away! Keep the faith sweetie. We're all here for you even when the roof seems to be caving in. One suggestion for you - if you are going for your surgery and treatment to a fairly large hospital, many of them have a social services (or some similar name) department. I didn't need it for me with my surgery, but when my husband was in for his bone marrow transplant, I lived at the hospital for weeks, it seemed, and I was all alone. I don't know what I would have done without the ladies of that department. They helped me with things I didn't even know I COULD get help with, and helped me stay as sane as I could, under the circumstances. You might want to see if there is such a department at your hospital. It could be a help to you, too. You're in my prayers!
  • tjohnson2310
    tjohnson2310 Member Posts: 168 Member
    #27
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    Find strength Laura, Find strength
    "You gain strength,courage,and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself,"I lived through this horror.I can take the next thing that comes along."...YOU MUST DO THE THING YOU THINK YOU CANNOT DO."

    I found this quote and felt I had to share this with you. May God Bless You, Laura.
  • Hubby
    Hubby Member Posts: 325
    #28
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    I Just Did a Search
    I just entered lolad in the search, hit enter and scrolled down a little; there it was "from a daughter please read for me"; so I did. I was just looking for something to help you.

    And you don't need to be sorry for anything. You didn't give yourself cancer, and you are not causing yourself to be depressed. You can't (like some people think) just snap out of it. One of my sisters keeps saying to Donna about Donna's mother: She's just not the mother you need right now. From the way it sounds, you don't have the family you need right now, with the exception of your three beautiful kids (I looked at your expressions page).

    Anyway, like everyone else, I'm just so happy to hear from you.

    big ((((((hugs))))))

    Bob
  • Double Whammy
    Double Whammy Member Posts: 2,832 Member
    #29
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    Hubby said:

    I Just Did a Search
    I just entered lolad in the search, hit enter and scrolled down a little; there it was "from a daughter please read for me"; so I did. I was just looking for something to help you.

    And you don't need to be sorry for anything. You didn't give yourself cancer, and you are not causing yourself to be depressed. You can't (like some people think) just snap out of it. One of my sisters keeps saying to Donna about Donna's mother: She's just not the mother you need right now. From the way it sounds, you don't have the family you need right now, with the exception of your three beautiful kids (I looked at your expressions page).

    Anyway, like everyone else, I'm just so happy to hear from you.

    big ((((((hugs))))))

    Bob

    Just glad you're ok
    Laura-

    If you're comfortable, let us know what part of the country you're in. Someone must be close to you geographically and may be able to provide you with local resources.

    Suzanne
  • survivorbc09
    survivorbc09 Member Posts: 4,374 Member
    #30
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    Lighthouse_7 said:

    So glad to hear from you
    So glad to hear from you Laura. We are all praying for you.

    As you have probably read,
    As you have probably read, we all have been worried and praying for you. Very happy to see that you are ok.

    Hugs,

    Jan
  • New Flower
    New Flower Member Posts: 4,294
    #31
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    Double Whammy said:

    Just glad you're ok
    Laura-

    If you're comfortable, let us know what part of the country you're in. Someone must be close to you geographically and may be able to provide you with local resources.

    Suzanne

    Laura
    I am glad that you are ok. Please seek and get a professional help.You said that you are depressed and in a difficult financial situation. Please ask your physician for referrals to see phycologist and mental health professional. You need to do it for your children. We all have been there. Nothing wrong with taking antidepressants. According to my oncologist Chemo drugs and anesthesia could change chemistry of brain and the only way to compensate and recover is to to take medications.
    Financial assistance is available through government agencies.
    Please let us know if we can help you.
    Hugs
  • Marcia527
    Marcia527 Member Posts: 2,729
    #32
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    Glad to hear from you! As
    Glad to hear from you! As the others have said, check with your doc for medication. Then when you can look around for another place to live. Maybe you just need a little distance from family. Hope things go better for you. Hugs.
  • Betsy13
    Betsy13 Member Posts: 185
    #33
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    tjohnson2310 said:

    Find strength Laura, Find strength
    "You gain strength,courage,and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself,"I lived through this horror.I can take the next thing that comes along."...YOU MUST DO THE THING YOU THINK YOU CANNOT DO."

    I found this quote and felt I had to share this with you. May God Bless You, Laura.

    wow...
    powerful quote. I am "borrowing" it! Yes, WE CAN!
  • jackiejhm
    jackiejhm Member Posts: 169
    #34
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    Oh Laura,
    My prayers have been answered! Thank you so much for checking in. Please don't apologize. We all have had some really lousy days. My teenage daughter and I, have grown even closer to each other after my DX with the Beast. Please know- we are all so thankful that you are alright. Hang in there, I am certain it is what we are all meant to do. xoxoxo, Jackie
  • VickiSam
    VickiSam Member Posts: 9,079 Member
    #35
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    jackiejhm said:

    Oh Laura,
    My prayers have been answered! Thank you so much for checking in. Please don't apologize. We all have had some really lousy days. My teenage daughter and I, have grown even closer to each other after my DX with the Beast. Please know- we are all so thankful that you are alright. Hang in there, I am certain it is what we are all meant to do. xoxoxo, Jackie

    Laura .. I am so happy that you have posted to let us know
    how you are doing. Dark days come to many of us during our breast cancer journey - not all, but to many. I include myself in the group of dark days. We do and say things that hurt others. I have been guilty of this, just ask my husband and children - boy, do they have stories!

    Our family is understanding in the beginning of our journey's - then life happens, job, marriages, children and the economy - . Some of these changes enrich our lives, while others bring us to our knees. All I know is based on this past year -- things get better, no not at once - but in time .. impossible situation are resolved, I don't know how, but 1 day you wake up - and clearer thoughts become present - live becomes more manageable - and friends become your 'FAMILY' of choice.

    Strength and Courage:

    Vicki Sam
  • Bella Luna
    Bella Luna Member Posts: 1,578 Member
    #36
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    Dear Laura
    My heart is heavy for you Laura. I am sorry you are going through so much hardship. As hard as it is right now, you need to know that you come first. Take care of your needs first. Listen to the pearls of wisdom being shared by your Sisters. We care for you and want you to be well(mind, body & spirit).

    Remember to breathe. I will keep you in my prayers. God bless.
    BL
  • BlownAway60
    BlownAway60 Member Posts: 851
    #37
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    Bella Luna said:

    Dear Laura
    My heart is heavy for you Laura. I am sorry you are going through so much hardship. As hard as it is right now, you need to know that you come first. Take care of your needs first. Listen to the pearls of wisdom being shared by your Sisters. We care for you and want you to be well(mind, body & spirit).

    Remember to breathe. I will keep you in my prayers. God bless.
    BL

    Just sending lots of
    Just sending lots of supportive hugs.

    Donna
  • heidijez
    heidijez Member Posts: 441
    #38
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    so happy to see your post!
    laura, i too have been praying for you, and hoping that you are okay. it sounds like things are still quite rough for you, but hang in there. if god brings you to it, he will bring you through it! and i am still willing to come and give you a hug in person (provided you don't live on the other side of the country). remember, we all care about you very much! heidi
  • reeseslover1234
    reeseslover1234 Member Posts: 87
    #39
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    Blessings to you
    Laura,

    Unfortunately, we don't get to pick our family, but we can pick our friends. From what I've seen on here, you have had a whole lot of love and hugs sent your way from your "new supportive family". Please talk to your Dr. and let him/her put you on something for your depression.

    As for the living arrangements, I agree with the others. Start with one person and tell them what you are going through. They will get you to someone who can help you.

    Most importantly, keep praying. I know you will be blessed in the end and this whole awful experience will be a memory.

    I will keep you in my prayers,

    Reese
  • SamuraiMom
    SamuraiMom Member Posts: 295
    #40
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    xxooxxoo
    Laura-I'm really glad you're here.
    Man you've got it tough. I know we all wish we could make it all better for you.
    Where's a magic wand when you need one, huh?? :-)
    Love you! xxoo

    SamuraiMom
  • DebbyM
    DebbyM Member Posts: 3,289 Member
    #41
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    Cat64 said:

    Laura
    Our prayers have been answered! It is so good to hear from you! I cannot begin to tell you how sorry I am that you have to live in the situation you are in right now. Isn't there anywhere else you can go? I can only imagine how difficult that must be on you, especially to be seperated from your boys. I know it must feel like your whole world has come crashing down on you, but please hang in there. It is only temporary. Rely on your faith to help you through, and we are all here for you, day or night. Healing yourself and gaining your strength back are most important, the rest will come at the right time. If you have to take it one minute at a time-so be it. That's 60 seconds closer to your goal of taking your life back, moving out, and having all your children back with you where they belong. I wish I could be there to give you a great big hug, or even a shoulder to cry on, whatever you need! I will continue to pray for you and I hope you are feeling better real soon. Please keep us updated.
    ♥ Cat
    I'm awake too-having them good ole' hot flashes!

    Just glad to see your post
    Just glad to see your post Laura! Hoping and praying that your life will get better for you. Your kids need you and you need to talk to your doctor about what is going on in your life now. Please do keep us updated and please get some help.


    Hugs, Debby

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