I want to slap someone!

carkris

Katz77 said:

I'm sooo happy
Thought I was alone in the anti-pink clothes,hats, shoes,underwear,bras,bands,bracelets and anything else they can slap a pink bow on. Food products,cars etc.
I think it started innocently enough. You know, show the love and support, but now it's like Christmas. Over commericalized and starts in Sept. I do like pink underwear for some odd reason. Always have.lol
Sweetvic and all the other ladies out there, I embrace you all with your wit, humor, anger, tears (happiness and sadness)and as Chen says Kindred Spirits.
Guess we truely know what it is to be "sick" even if we are well. It's a constant reminder of our disease with the battle scars, large and the small ones. The "hangover" from chemo, rads, meds, Drs appts. Flushing of ports, flushing of loose bowels and vomit, over use of laxatives/stool softners, (that one was me) wondering if it will come back and where, when.
Love and hugs go to the ones it has reared it's ugly head at again.
People really don't have a clue about the other side. They get up and do things in life we need to think about before we do. Long trips, out to the store, seeing friends and family. Sometimes I don't have the energy and they still want you to be ur "old" self. I'll never be that person again. I'm the "new" self. And Sweettvic, if you want to close your doors, I say do so, but don't stay there to long. I call my recluse days ( usually 3 days) My pity party and I'm the guest of honor, and I don't have to invite anyone. meditation I guess is a better word. I really do babble on. Sighhh Sorry. Stay strong my sisters in _ _ _ _! (Place ur favorite color in the blanks) Love to all,Katz

I like that "meditation" I
I like that "meditation" I had a week like that a few weeks ago. I was "meditating" LOL

ms.sunshine

Katz77 said:

I'm sooo happy
Thought I was alone in the anti-pink clothes,hats, shoes,underwear,bras,bands,bracelets and anything else they can slap a pink bow on. Food products,cars etc.
I think it started innocently enough. You know, show the love and support, but now it's like Christmas. Over commericalized and starts in Sept. I do like pink underwear for some odd reason. Always have.lol
Sweetvic and all the other ladies out there, I embrace you all with your wit, humor, anger, tears (happiness and sadness)and as Chen says Kindred Spirits.
Guess we truely know what it is to be "sick" even if we are well. It's a constant reminder of our disease with the battle scars, large and the small ones. The "hangover" from chemo, rads, meds, Drs appts. Flushing of ports, flushing of loose bowels and vomit, over use of laxatives/stool softners, (that one was me) wondering if it will come back and where, when.
Love and hugs go to the ones it has reared it's ugly head at again.
People really don't have a clue about the other side. They get up and do things in life we need to think about before we do. Long trips, out to the store, seeing friends and family. Sometimes I don't have the energy and they still want you to be ur "old" self. I'll never be that person again. I'm the "new" self. And Sweettvic, if you want to close your doors, I say do so, but don't stay there to long. I call my recluse days ( usually 3 days) My pity party and I'm the guest of honor, and I don't have to invite anyone. meditation I guess is a better word. I really do babble on. Sighhh Sorry. Stay strong my sisters in _ _ _ _! (Place ur favorite color in the blanks) Love to all,Katz

Understandable
The one who always wanted to tell me horror stories was my mom. I had to stop talking with her. My husband would run interception for me. I told everyone from the beginning not to bring that "pink crap" into my house. How can you stay positive when you have pink crap with "cancer" written on it in your face everywhere you look.

The only time I got upset was when I was waiting on the rn to stick my port. They were busy so Ray the blood tech says, "it would be alot easier on me and would save me time if you would let me draw blood from your arm." I said no that is why I have a port. He then repeats himself. I told him, "I don't give a damn about making it easier on you or saving your time it is my arm, my pain, and if you come over here with that needle me and you will have major issues. That doctor may have dx me with cancer, but I will still come up out of this chair. I'm not that frekin fatigued." He left while everyone stared at me. 30 minutes later he brought me a juice and apologized.

Take it one day at a time. Don't allow idiots to ruin the beauty of life.

Sally5

ms.sunshine said:

Understandable
The one who always wanted to tell me horror stories was my mom. I had to stop talking with her. My husband would run interception for me. I told everyone from the beginning not to bring that "pink crap" into my house. How can you stay positive when you have pink crap with "cancer" written on it in your face everywhere you look.

The only time I got upset was when I was waiting on the rn to stick my port. They were busy so Ray the blood tech says, "it would be alot easier on me and would save me time if you would let me draw blood from your arm." I said no that is why I have a port. He then repeats himself. I told him, "I don't give a damn about making it easier on you or saving your time it is my arm, my pain, and if you come over here with that needle me and you will have major issues. That doctor may have dx me with cancer, but I will still come up out of this chair. I'm not that frekin fatigued." He left while everyone stared at me. 30 minutes later he brought me a juice and apologized.

Take it one day at a time. Don't allow idiots to ruin the beauty of life.

Sweetvicki.... No need to
Sweetvicki.... No need to apologize..... Okay to feel this way. I don't know why people feel the need to tell you their horror stories...

Girls...: Thanks for sharing about the 'pink' crap... It is overdone...

For me, I just had my expanders filled. If one more person I know just stares at my chest, I think I'll scream.... I am guessing they are wondering which one or is she really sick? Like I look too normal.... AHHHHHHHHHH

Thank you for letting me share.

Merry (Sally5)

smalldoggroomer

chenheart said:

I experienced feelings so
I experienced feelings so very similar to yours! I was sooo tired of getting "the look", or the avoidance of any look at all, and then was bombarded with ALL THINGS PINK! If it was Pink and had anything to do with Breasts and/or Cancer, we just have to get it for Chen! ARRRRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!! It is as if anything I did, who I was, what I liked had all but disappeared into a haze called cancer, and that's all anyone ever saw when they even heard my name

And to top it off, instead of appreciating the sunsets and sunrise, or stopping to smell those proverbial roses, I was FURIOUS! It seemed to me that everyone was whining over nothing, turning having a hangnail into a life-changing event, and their pettiness was driving me over the edge.

I "lost it" with my sister, much the same way you did. She and her husband had come to visit, and while in town, I ran into my local pharmacist. My sister mentioned something (probably innocently!) about how she doesn't know her pharmacist on a first name basis and I blew up at her, cursing that the ONLY reason I would know that is because I pick up meds to help save my %^^%^%^ Life, thank you very much!!! It was so completely out of character for me, that it took my family by shocked surprise!

I came to a few conclusions...one I was so very tired. Tired of the chemicals, tired of the fear, tired of how I looked, tired of being thinking I might die...just tired. The entire ordeal was just too much, emotionally speaking, and my exhaustion level overtook my rational self.
I also finally came to realize that I was JEALOUS of the petty things going on around me! I wanted to whine over the hangnail! I wanted the worst thing in my day was to be slow service at a restaurant! I didn't want to know the first name of my pharmacist! I felt like Goldie Hawn in Pvt Benjamin~ I wanted my old life back!!!!

This is really not the fault of those around us...I probably at one time bought Pink Ribbon things for people who grew to hate them. Or perhaps I gave others "the look"~I really don't know. But not being in their shoes, I only did what I knew to do. I lead with my heart, and I assume that those who are gifting me with Pink are doing the same thing.

The further away I got from treatment, the less tired I was, the more the life-saving chemicals left my battered body, the more my "sanity" returned and I truly did become the Chen I was before!

I am confidant that your former self will re-immerge as well; and you will also have a fine tuned awareness of All Things Cancer.

Sorry to ramble, but I just wanted you to know your experience is not unique~it too is something you have in common with me. Another proof positive what we are indeed Kindred Spirits!

Hugs and a Big Sigh!
Chen♥

Well said Chen Well said.

Well said Chen Well said.

cavediver

colors
I agree, the pink is overdone. No matter the color, no matter the type of cancer...
I have decided that simply put all Cancer Sucks. So, I just ordered new coffee mugs for home.....(throwing out all the chipped ones) and I got them in all colors.....ignored the color for type of cancer. They just state on both sides "Cancer Sucks"...and I am ready to drink to that each morning

sweetvickid

carkris said:

ok this is really weird, but
ok this is really weird, but I had this visual if everyone wore a tee shirt with their particular health problem on it. diabetes, lupus, ED.....
Anyway, I never could figure out why people think its ok to tell you their horror stories but they do. one insight I have is a woman on a different site I am on (not cancer related) asked my advice about how to reach out to an aquaintance newly diagnosed with cancer. Anyway the upshot is,she wrote" I guess people with cancer are like anyone else" I have been dealing with BC for many years, and I have become immune to many comments but this one was new for me. I wonder how many people think this and never say it. Then I wonder if we become that diagnosis to them and thats why they feel they can say anything they want to us. Like it wouldnt affect us???? Who knows their problem.
I do know the anger is sometimes hard to deal with,this really does suck. I try to focus on the people who love me and matter.
Oh yeah I hate October, and dont want any pink stuff. I have a bracelet, I bought myself. I am not breast cancer, I am me. I remember the quote from Christopher Reeves' book when his wife said 'you are still you " Anyways we should get tee shirts that say 'here slap weezer" we will know what it means. hugs hugs hugs.

Love it!
Finally a Tshirt I will wear. I am going to have one made up next week and it will be pink!

sweetvickid

cavediver said:

colors
I agree, the pink is overdone. No matter the color, no matter the type of cancer...
I have decided that simply put all Cancer Sucks. So, I just ordered new coffee mugs for home.....(throwing out all the chipped ones) and I got them in all colors.....ignored the color for type of cancer. They just state on both sides "Cancer Sucks"...and I am ready to drink to that each morning

Thanks for the support
Had a little pity party going. Am feeling better.
My Mom came up yesterday. She is an 8 year survivor and knows what I am going thru. Insisted I get dressed and go shopping with her. I told her I was too tired and didn't feel good. She said of course you are but you need to get out and you can keep up with a 74 yr old woman.

Got dressed and when I said I'm ready lets go she gave me a hard look and exclaimed your don't have any makeup on! Well atleast put some lipstick on. I told her that would look dumb but she insisted so I put some lipstick on to which she then agreed it looked dumb and that I would just have to put some makeup on.

While I was putting the makeup on I heard her in my closet. She had picked out an outfit and said you look too nice to wear that T-shirt and capris, here this will look nicer.

Much as I hate to admit it I did have a nice time with her.

faith_trust_and_a_little_bit_of_chemotherapy

sweetvickid said:

Thanks for the support
Had a little pity party going. Am feeling better.
My Mom came up yesterday. She is an 8 year survivor and knows what I am going thru. Insisted I get dressed and go shopping with her. I told her I was too tired and didn't feel good. She said of course you are but you need to get out and you can keep up with a 74 yr old woman.

Got dressed and when I said I'm ready lets go she gave me a hard look and exclaimed your don't have any makeup on! Well atleast put some lipstick on. I told her that would look dumb but she insisted so I put some lipstick on to which she then agreed it looked dumb and that I would just have to put some makeup on.

While I was putting the makeup on I heard her in my closet. She had picked out an outfit and said you look too nice to wear that T-shirt and capris, here this will look nicer.

Much as I hate to admit it I did have a nice time with her.

Awww....
that warmed my heart!

Does your 74 year old mother have room to adopt me?

Thank you for sharing that!

mimivac

ms.sunshine said:

Understandable
The one who always wanted to tell me horror stories was my mom. I had to stop talking with her. My husband would run interception for me. I told everyone from the beginning not to bring that "pink crap" into my house. How can you stay positive when you have pink crap with "cancer" written on it in your face everywhere you look.

The only time I got upset was when I was waiting on the rn to stick my port. They were busy so Ray the blood tech says, "it would be alot easier on me and would save me time if you would let me draw blood from your arm." I said no that is why I have a port. He then repeats himself. I told him, "I don't give a damn about making it easier on you or saving your time it is my arm, my pain, and if you come over here with that needle me and you will have major issues. That doctor may have dx me with cancer, but I will still come up out of this chair. I'm not that frekin fatigued." He left while everyone stared at me. 30 minutes later he brought me a juice and apologized.

Take it one day at a time. Don't allow idiots to ruin the beauty of life.

Ms. Sunshine,
That is the BEST response! I can't believe that tech had the nerve to tell you you should forgo your comfort to make it easier on HIM! What the hell? It should not take any more time or be "harder" to draw blood from a port. I had it done many times and no one complained or suggested that I was inconviencing them. What nerve. Good for you for standing up for yourself. I probably would have caved and then come to my senses later.

Mimi

jackiejhm

sweetvickid said:

Thanks for the support
Had a little pity party going. Am feeling better.
My Mom came up yesterday. She is an 8 year survivor and knows what I am going thru. Insisted I get dressed and go shopping with her. I told her I was too tired and didn't feel good. She said of course you are but you need to get out and you can keep up with a 74 yr old woman.

Got dressed and when I said I'm ready lets go she gave me a hard look and exclaimed your don't have any makeup on! Well atleast put some lipstick on. I told her that would look dumb but she insisted so I put some lipstick on to which she then agreed it looked dumb and that I would just have to put some makeup on.

While I was putting the makeup on I heard her in my closet. She had picked out an outfit and said you look too nice to wear that T-shirt and capris, here this will look nicer.

Much as I hate to admit it I did have a nice time with her.

Wow
I love your Mama!!!

faith_trust_and_a_little_bit_of_chemotherapy

carkris said:

ok this is really weird, but
ok this is really weird, but I had this visual if everyone wore a tee shirt with their particular health problem on it. diabetes, lupus, ED.....
Anyway, I never could figure out why people think its ok to tell you their horror stories but they do. one insight I have is a woman on a different site I am on (not cancer related) asked my advice about how to reach out to an aquaintance newly diagnosed with cancer. Anyway the upshot is,she wrote" I guess people with cancer are like anyone else" I have been dealing with BC for many years, and I have become immune to many comments but this one was new for me. I wonder how many people think this and never say it. Then I wonder if we become that diagnosis to them and thats why they feel they can say anything they want to us. Like it wouldnt affect us???? Who knows their problem.
I do know the anger is sometimes hard to deal with,this really does suck. I try to focus on the people who love me and matter.
Oh yeah I hate October, and dont want any pink stuff. I have a bracelet, I bought myself. I am not breast cancer, I am me. I remember the quote from Christopher Reeves' book when his wife said 'you are still you " Anyways we should get tee shirts that say 'here slap weezer" we will know what it means. hugs hugs hugs.

Funny you should say that...
Since coming out of the closet and daring to go topless without a head wrap, I have noticed more people staring at my chest. One side resembles a 50+ year old woman that breast fed, the other a 12 year old boy. I am pondering the possibilities for Halloween. What is sad to me, I actually look reasonably good in pink. *sigh*

Anyway, this phenomenon has me considering a t-shirt...

"Is it real or is it prosthesis?"

Bella Luna

I can so relate to your
I can so relate to your blog. After I told a friend I had breast cancer... she said how brave I was. I was stunned and didn't know what to say. I thought having cancer makes me brave? Lord above, this is something I did not choose for myself. It sort of fell on my lap and I am dealing with it.

I also got pink stuff and didn't feel like advertising my situation either. I had no intentions of being a poster child for cancer. No thank you. I know this other friend meant well when she mailed the pin to me along with a card, but I put that pink ribbon pin away and left it in its plastic wrapper.

Also... an in-law... I recall once asked if all my hair had fallen out. I had on a wig and was out on a family brunch enjoying my meal when I was asked. I looked at her, upset at being singled out in front of family and my 9 year old daughter, that yes it had fallen out, but that it was okay because it would grow back. She then told me about a "Brothers and Sisters" episode where one of the main characters had cancer and was losing her hair. I thought... lady that is fiction, a tv show. I am reality, you are staring at reality!

Such is life. I have moved on and so glad to be on the other side. I have finished with chemo, rads and am wrapping up my year of Herceptin! Life is good! Blessings to All!
BL

NDY2010

How True
Do you remember back before you got cancer? Back when you were the one being informed about some other woman (friend, family, or stranger) that had just gotten this "dreaded" news. I do, and it was "Oh, my gosh", how tragic (and in my mind I'm thinking "how long does she have?"). Then the next thing that pops in your mind was the image of the last person that you'd known (or even seen on TV) who had breast cancer and what happened to them. Sometimes then out comes some "stupid" statement. I think most people that hear for the first time that I've got breast cancer react in this same mode or they just don't know what to say (all the time in their minds they're hoping they too don't contract this feared monster). There are numerous other unfortunate diseases that a person could get that I, right now, (even being stage 111c) wouldn't even trade for but somehow I think breast cancer evokes a definitive sympathetic response especially with other women since the breast is such an intimate part of who a woman thinks she is.

My favorite (which is probably somewhat morbid) is the usual breast cancer obit that states: "so & so lost her 'courageous' battle with breast cancer". OK, what were her alternatives? We are considered "brave", "heros", etc. WTF? We are just like anybody else----trying to survive our disease. Again, breast cancer evokes such dreaded (I hope I don't get it) images in the other person's mind that they want to paint us as "courageous", "brave", "heros". Again, this just makes them feel good to label us this way.

Emotions certainly do play such a big part in navigating this disease. We all want to be civil but there are times when we do explode. I think that under the circumstances that a "real friend" will realize that this was just one of those times for you.

My tag is NDY2010 (stands for "Not Dead Yet") but this is just how I deal with it. If I ever want to print that slogan on a T-shirt, you can bet your bottom dollar that the T-shirt color won't be PINK!!

Keep Your Sanity,
Judy

MerleBee

OH Sweet Lord...
Thank you for this! Clearly your posting has resonated with so many of us. On top of the burden of fighting cancer we are, with all good intentions, burdened with the preception of how we are supposed to have it, fight it, etc. I told my husband the other day that I had a pen and a piece of paper and I AM TAKING NAMES! One day, when I am well, pain free and not exhausted I am going to start at the top of the list and kick some tail! I am shocked at the level of anger I feel and I recognize that it is fuled in part by fear, exhaustion, pain, loss, and chemicals. I am fervently pray that I do not forget what it is like to hear the hurtful things that people, even cancer survivors, say in the name of encouragement so that I can am never that person. I don't know about the rest of you, but I desperatly need to people to just acknowledge that its hard today, and that I feel like crap today...yes we need the encouragement to keep on pushing through, but not at the expense of ignoring how hard today is.

People want to be beleive that "cancer is over" with the last treatment or the last surgery. They want to tie it up in a neat little package...only those of us in it or close to it know the harsh reality...we have to learn to live with this, to some extent, for the rest of our lives...many us do not look the same, we certainly aren't the same for having gone through it and we have to live with the spector of recurrence...the hard truth is it is OUR reality...not theirs. They get to live in the bliss of not knowing. I guess I am angry about that too...when the drugs wear off hopefully I will be able to return to not holding that against them...it is just the hand I was dealt and is not their fault...my boobs are gone....hopefully my perspective will return.

I feel better knowing that you all feel the same way. I was starting to feel bad that I couldn't always be the "Pink Warrior Cheerleader"...But I am hoping with my new boobs I will look way hot in the uniform....LOL

chriskaput

hi
OMG! I was just thinking the same thing today when I got a surprise birthday gift( aSwatch watch) from my friend. He was like I hope you like it "I got a pink one for you" Why, why did he need to get me a pink watch of all colors! I felt the same way - I am not going to wear this watch because it's pink and I hate pink, and I am not going to wear it to advertise my breast cancer. I agree I am so tired of people saying you are so brave, you have your family to live for, you will be here to see your daughter get married. Did I ask for this, no, but I have it and have to be brave and "KNOW" that I will be here for all those things. I have no choice, what am I gonna do lay down and die? No fr*ggin way!!!

chenheart

NDY2010 said:

How True
Do you remember back before you got cancer? Back when you were the one being informed about some other woman (friend, family, or stranger) that had just gotten this "dreaded" news. I do, and it was "Oh, my gosh", how tragic (and in my mind I'm thinking "how long does she have?"). Then the next thing that pops in your mind was the image of the last person that you'd known (or even seen on TV) who had breast cancer and what happened to them. Sometimes then out comes some "stupid" statement. I think most people that hear for the first time that I've got breast cancer react in this same mode or they just don't know what to say (all the time in their minds they're hoping they too don't contract this feared monster). There are numerous other unfortunate diseases that a person could get that I, right now, (even being stage 111c) wouldn't even trade for but somehow I think breast cancer evokes a definitive sympathetic response especially with other women since the breast is such an intimate part of who a woman thinks she is.

My favorite (which is probably somewhat morbid) is the usual breast cancer obit that states: "so & so lost her 'courageous' battle with breast cancer". OK, what were her alternatives? We are considered "brave", "heros", etc. WTF? We are just like anybody else----trying to survive our disease. Again, breast cancer evokes such dreaded (I hope I don't get it) images in the other person's mind that they want to paint us as "courageous", "brave", "heros". Again, this just makes them feel good to label us this way.

Emotions certainly do play such a big part in navigating this disease. We all want to be civil but there are times when we do explode. I think that under the circumstances that a "real friend" will realize that this was just one of those times for you.

My tag is NDY2010 (stands for "Not Dead Yet") but this is just how I deal with it. If I ever want to print that slogan on a T-shirt, you can bet your bottom dollar that the T-shirt color won't be PINK!!

Keep Your Sanity,
Judy

I forgot my favorite
I forgot my favorite obit...why oh why, when someone dies do they invariably say "He died doing what he loves best"? To which I always say, "What? You mean Breathing"? Uh huh...it's my favorite thing too! Inhale, exhale, repeat as needed! :-)

Hugs,
Chen♥

carkris

chriskaput said:

hi
OMG! I was just thinking the same thing today when I got a surprise birthday gift( aSwatch watch) from my friend. He was like I hope you like it "I got a pink one for you" Why, why did he need to get me a pink watch of all colors! I felt the same way - I am not going to wear this watch because it's pink and I hate pink, and I am not going to wear it to advertise my breast cancer. I agree I am so tired of people saying you are so brave, you have your family to live for, you will be here to see your daughter get married. Did I ask for this, no, but I have it and have to be brave and "KNOW" that I will be here for all those things. I have no choice, what am I gonna do lay down and die? No fr*ggin way!!!

My husband told me I was
My husband told me I was brave and I will take that as he was an eyewitness to what I went through. I was brave, I had such bad s/e and was in horrible physical pain from the fissure I had.With other people it can just be something to say.having said that it is true what choice do you have? Ms Sunshine I love it. I dont know if I would have been able to come up with it right away like that.I always think about what I should have said
One thing I did learn was that I have to advocate for myself, as a nurse I was always a strong advocate for my patients but not myself. I am pretty matter of fact these days. I did buy also (I forgot) a glimmer of hope necklace,and a Mels bracelet, both go to charities for breast cancer but do not scream BREAST CANCER!!!! As stated I am not the poster child for breast cancer, I actually had such a tough time I hate to post except to tell people they can get through it, and want to add "results not typical" so people dont get scared.
mamas are the best, so glad you went out. you are a love, so glad you brought this up here, its not always easy to talk about but the anger is real. and talking about it so therapeutic. I am getting a tee shirt too.

MAJW

It's Understandable to feel as you do.....
When I was undergoing treatment, I experienced the same type of remarks...had one woman tell me, when I asked about her visit with her grandchild, "I had to come back early....My Aunt died of breast cancer.." DUH DUH DUH......HELLO! I simply stared at her.....I didn't reply but wished later I had......That was one of quite a few "STUPID" remarks people made to me..When I was having my hair buzzed off before starting chemo, a woman was in the shop, waiting to be picked up, I was the last customer of the day....been going to the same guy for 20 years........well, the woman started staring and I knew she wouldn't be able to keep her mouth shut......You could just see it in her eyes.....She asked......." What are you trying to be some type of punk......(yeah at 58 I want to be a punk)......Neither my hairdresser nor I responded....but you think she could let it go? "Why on earth would you want that ridiculous kind of hair?" Before I could open my mouth, my hairdresser let it fly......"Since you seem to think this is any of your business, let me explain, and when I am finished explaining, please wait outside for your ride....and do not return to my salon"...She started getting all huffy, he told her I was starting chemo because I had cancer...Even then she didn't get it........"how dare you speak to me that way?" was her reply...the way I look at it is this.......you can't fix STUPID! I had a "friend" who started to bombard me with "you need to eat this, only organic, you need to use ONLY organic products on your body, you need to do this.....you need to do that.......on and on and on......All this from a chick who gets BOTOX injections every 6 months for her wrinkles....oh the irony of that one.....

As for all the "pink stuff" I, too, am sick to death of it....although I know that those who gave me these things, did and do so out of love and caring...BUT.......I finally have told people, "thanks, but PLEASE no more pink BC stuff".....I have taken most of it to my cancer center where the American Cancer Society has a room where women donate wigs, hats, scarves, etc....anyone in need can take what they want......this way I don't feel like people have wasted their money on me....

As time has gone by, I just go with the flow..Please don't let others insensitivity keep you from doing the things you feel like doing and want to do.......I Also found when people asked me questions that I felt were to personal or to nosey, I always reply......"Why do you ask?" seems to stump them everytime!

Peace be with you

Mama G

MAJW said:

It's Understandable to feel as you do.....
When I was undergoing treatment, I experienced the same type of remarks...had one woman tell me, when I asked about her visit with her grandchild, "I had to come back early....My Aunt died of breast cancer.." DUH DUH DUH......HELLO! I simply stared at her.....I didn't reply but wished later I had......That was one of quite a few "STUPID" remarks people made to me..When I was having my hair buzzed off before starting chemo, a woman was in the shop, waiting to be picked up, I was the last customer of the day....been going to the same guy for 20 years........well, the woman started staring and I knew she wouldn't be able to keep her mouth shut......You could just see it in her eyes.....She asked......." What are you trying to be some type of punk......(yeah at 58 I want to be a punk)......Neither my hairdresser nor I responded....but you think she could let it go? "Why on earth would you want that ridiculous kind of hair?" Before I could open my mouth, my hairdresser let it fly......"Since you seem to think this is any of your business, let me explain, and when I am finished explaining, please wait outside for your ride....and do not return to my salon"...She started getting all huffy, he told her I was starting chemo because I had cancer...Even then she didn't get it........"how dare you speak to me that way?" was her reply...the way I look at it is this.......you can't fix STUPID! I had a "friend" who started to bombard me with "you need to eat this, only organic, you need to use ONLY organic products on your body, you need to do this.....you need to do that.......on and on and on......All this from a chick who gets BOTOX injections every 6 months for her wrinkles....oh the irony of that one.....

As for all the "pink stuff" I, too, am sick to death of it....although I know that those who gave me these things, did and do so out of love and caring...BUT.......I finally have told people, "thanks, but PLEASE no more pink BC stuff".....I have taken most of it to my cancer center where the American Cancer Society has a room where women donate wigs, hats, scarves, etc....anyone in need can take what they want......this way I don't feel like people have wasted their money on me....

As time has gone by, I just go with the flow..Please don't let others insensitivity keep you from doing the things you feel like doing and want to do.......I Also found when people asked me questions that I felt were to personal or to nosey, I always reply......"Why do you ask?" seems to stump them everytime!

Peace be with you

People just don't know what to say...
so they say something stupid sometimes. We've all been there, done that. When people tell me about someone who died of cancer, I say loudly, but with a bit of humor "DON'T NEED TO HEAR THAT!!!!" They get the hint.
My other statement that bugs me is when people complain about being bored....
BORING IS GOOD COMPARED TO THE BATTLE WE'VE JUST BEEN THROUGH!!!! Give me boring any day!

And BraVerY is another thing. Sure we are all brave to face this and battle, but what's the alternative? Why isn't facing death without the battle considered bravery also? My dad chose not to face the chemo/radiation and I thought he was very brave to make that choice. He felt he had lived his life to the fullest and was ready (at only 67).

Snowkitty

Mama G said:

People just don't know what to say...
so they say something stupid sometimes. We've all been there, done that. When people tell me about someone who died of cancer, I say loudly, but with a bit of humor "DON'T NEED TO HEAR THAT!!!!" They get the hint.
My other statement that bugs me is when people complain about being bored....
BORING IS GOOD COMPARED TO THE BATTLE WE'VE JUST BEEN THROUGH!!!! Give me boring any day!

And BraVerY is another thing. Sure we are all brave to face this and battle, but what's the alternative? Why isn't facing death without the battle considered bravery also? My dad chose not to face the chemo/radiation and I thought he was very brave to make that choice. He felt he had lived his life to the fullest and was ready (at only 67).

What about a "Horoscope" email from friend
So, this friend always sends me stupid chain emails. I have told here if I have to send it to 10 people in 10 minutes, delete me from that list.

So I get this email with Horoscope in the subject line, check it out, and it says if I don't send it to 10 people in 10 minutes I will wake up the next day to something bad happening.

I immediately replied to her that I wasn't sending it to 10 people and I was going to wake up to something bad anyways cause it was my first day at chemo.

I hope she got it.

Cindy