The emotional side of cancer when going thru treatment.
June 22nd she had her first round of chemo. Her CA 125 dropped to 8000. Her second round was July 12th and we won't know her CA 125 results until she has her blood drawn August 3rd. Surgery is slated for September 5th. The gyn/oncologist told us she was at least stage 3. I am so scared. She has reacted to the chemo fairly well except for being constipated for a few days afterwards.
The hardest part for her is the emotional part. She constantly looks at her stomach to see if it has shrunk. If she thinks it has then she has a good day, if she thinks it looks bloated then she has a bad day. She is already getting quite anxious when thinking about her next round of chemo.
How has everyone else handled the emotional side of cancer?
Thank you,
Kelly
Comments
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Dear Kellyeward said:moms
By the way, our moms are about the same age. My mom is 64. She was healthy before this diagnosis.
Your Mom's story is a common one. You should read Bonnie's story. I think it was a year before her doctor's figured it out. My mother's doc. missed it too. He was devastated when he found out she had cancer. Most of the women here had numerous mis-diagnoses. Ovarian cancer is tricky as there is no screening. By the time women show symptoms, it has spread. The other issue is that the symptoms that tend to present are gastrointestinal because it's on the outside of the bowel. Gastrointestinal doctors are not inclined to think of ovaries as a cause of bowel distress...... I also always thought that if I went for my annual exam, my ovaries were being checked. Boy was I wrong. I can't believe there is no education for women about that. I was furious when I found out. Then I learned how hard this is to detect, and realized that my mother's doc really cared and was devastated. This is no one's fault. This is ovarian cancer, and I am very sorry your mother has it. I also learned that I needed to move through my anger into accept mode and take action mode...because that was what my mother needed. She was angry too and had much more reason than I to be and I made a commitment to her to help as much as I could and I saw that my anger was not helping at all. I remember wanting to rip the head off the surgeon when I first met him. I thought he was too direct and mean....then I realized he needed to be honest with us, and he has ended up being the best advocate ever. Anger is part of grief and a normal reaction. You will have other responses as well, all of which are part of this process. Please come to this board and check in often. The wisdom here is amazing. I am sorry you have to be here though.....0 -
Kelly....your anger is
Kelly....your anger is totally justified. The bad thing is that it's equally non-productive. None of us can change what has already happened, so instead we focus (as soon as we can) on the fight at hand. And it is quite a battle, believe me. Some of the ladies here have been fighting it for years. Many have had multiple rounds of chemo and several recurrences.
My CA 125 was 4000 before surgery and I had a lot of bloating due to fluid buildup (called ascites). The chemo will stop the fluid buildup and the surgery will take care of what's in there now. I had my surgery first, then 6 infusions of Carboplatin and Taxol, each three weeks apart. My CA 125 is now 4.8 and my last scan showed no evidence of disease. I also had the fluid drained off just prior to surgery. Maybe you could ask your mom's doctor about that. It gives immediate relief and is quite painless.
I cried a LOT when I was first diagnosed - probably the first couple of months. I was preparing to have what I thought was a diseased gall bladder removed and BAM....got hit instead with a diagnosis of late state ovarian cancer. That was Sept 17, 2009. But I got thru surgery and chemo and for now at least, I am in remission. Only time will tell the rest of my story. I just keep reminding myself that I'm not going to die today, so there is no need to worry about it right this minute. And I pray a lot.
PS....a little wine doesn't hurt, either.
Carlene0 -
Emergency Room CancerHissy_Fitz said:Kelly....your anger is
Kelly....your anger is totally justified. The bad thing is that it's equally non-productive. None of us can change what has already happened, so instead we focus (as soon as we can) on the fight at hand. And it is quite a battle, believe me. Some of the ladies here have been fighting it for years. Many have had multiple rounds of chemo and several recurrences.
My CA 125 was 4000 before surgery and I had a lot of bloating due to fluid buildup (called ascites). The chemo will stop the fluid buildup and the surgery will take care of what's in there now. I had my surgery first, then 6 infusions of Carboplatin and Taxol, each three weeks apart. My CA 125 is now 4.8 and my last scan showed no evidence of disease. I also had the fluid drained off just prior to surgery. Maybe you could ask your mom's doctor about that. It gives immediate relief and is quite painless.
I cried a LOT when I was first diagnosed - probably the first couple of months. I was preparing to have what I thought was a diseased gall bladder removed and BAM....got hit instead with a diagnosis of late state ovarian cancer. That was Sept 17, 2009. But I got thru surgery and chemo and for now at least, I am in remission. Only time will tell the rest of my story. I just keep reminding myself that I'm not going to die today, so there is no need to worry about it right this minute. And I pray a lot.
PS....a little wine doesn't hurt, either.
Carlene
My family practitioner called Ovarian an Emergency Room Cancer. That is where I was diagnosed. He said just what Carlene said and that most women get so tired of knowing something is wrong but not getting an answer, they go to the ER. More education would help. I had 3 rounds of Chemo because my counts were so high and they did drain fluid off my stomach before surgery. What a relief that was. Surgery went well and then I had more Chemo. I have been in remission 9 months now. Anger helped bring the tears, that helped the healing of my emotions. Wish you and your mom the best
Lori0 -
This comment has been removed by the Moderatorkikiz said:Emergency Room Cancer
My family practitioner called Ovarian an Emergency Room Cancer. That is where I was diagnosed. He said just what Carlene said and that most women get so tired of knowing something is wrong but not getting an answer, they go to the ER. More education would help. I had 3 rounds of Chemo because my counts were so high and they did drain fluid off my stomach before surgery. What a relief that was. Surgery went well and then I had more Chemo. I have been in remission 9 months now. Anger helped bring the tears, that helped the healing of my emotions. Wish you and your mom the best
Lori0 -
ER, yeskikiz said:Emergency Room Cancer
My family practitioner called Ovarian an Emergency Room Cancer. That is where I was diagnosed. He said just what Carlene said and that most women get so tired of knowing something is wrong but not getting an answer, they go to the ER. More education would help. I had 3 rounds of Chemo because my counts were so high and they did drain fluid off my stomach before surgery. What a relief that was. Surgery went well and then I had more Chemo. I have been in remission 9 months now. Anger helped bring the tears, that helped the healing of my emotions. Wish you and your mom the best
Lori
me too. I was misdiagnosed with irritable bowel. One doctor told me maybe I was just depressed! Finally I went to the ER after 5 days of a bowel obstruction.0 -
ER dxkikiz said:Emergency Room Cancer
My family practitioner called Ovarian an Emergency Room Cancer. That is where I was diagnosed. He said just what Carlene said and that most women get so tired of knowing something is wrong but not getting an answer, they go to the ER. More education would help. I had 3 rounds of Chemo because my counts were so high and they did drain fluid off my stomach before surgery. What a relief that was. Surgery went well and then I had more Chemo. I have been in remission 9 months now. Anger helped bring the tears, that helped the healing of my emotions. Wish you and your mom the best
Lori
Same here. Went to ER when I couldn't get anyone to really listen to me and I was bloated and in pain. Even in the ER ater an untrasound they dx a gallbladder problem and I was on the table having surgery when they noticed all the cancer. What a shock. Closed me up and I began my journey. Everyone needs to be educated about this disease even the Dr's.0 -
Dear Kelly, I am 62, not
Dear Kelly, I am 62, not much younger than your mom and my story is similar which is so common with this disease. I thought I was just having some indigestion problems when I was handed the diagnosis of ovarian cancer. Needless to say it was almost to much to absorb. The hard part for me was telling my 85-year old mother. I didn't even get the chance to tell my son who was out of town on vacation. I ended up in the ER that day because my heart went out of rhythm so a family member had to break the news to my son, who flew to my bedside at the ER. So initially I dealt with this with shock, sorrow and fear. The gastroenterologist who read my CT scan told me nothing could be done because it had spread to my stomach. That day, March 16, 2010 has to be the worst day of my life. Somehow maybe through denial, I made it to the appointment with my ob/oncologist who told me there was hope. I told him what the gastro man said and he told me that is why you are here; I am not a gastroenterologist. And the cancer was not in my stomach. Since than I have had chemo than surgery and I will be starting my chemo again. The surgeon stated he removed 95% of the cancer and gives me hope for a future. So how have I dealt with all this? I'd say primarily with a lot of hope, support from family and friends and some denial. I try not to look ahead. It is hard but living in the moment is so important. There is so much to deal with that a person doesn't really have much time to look ahead. My best to your mom and to you. As a caretaker you have a vital role in your mom's treatment. Thank God for the angels in my life who basically did everything for me when I could not see beyond my diagnosis. Luv, Karen0 -
ERhockeygolf7 said:ER dx
Same here. Went to ER when I couldn't get anyone to really listen to me and I was bloated and in pain. Even in the ER ater an untrasound they dx a gallbladder problem and I was on the table having surgery when they noticed all the cancer. What a shock. Closed me up and I began my journey. Everyone needs to be educated about this disease even the Dr's.
My daughter had gone to the dr. at least four or five times over a 8 month period and they could not ever find anything wrong. Angela was telling me about her pain and I told her to go back to the dr. She went, but she was afraid that they would think she was a hypercontriact. She went and they still found nothing. Then a few hours after seeing her dr., angela had excursiating pain that sent her to the ER. That is when they did a CT scan and saw masses everywhere. She had surgery July 8th her 38th birthday. She has an undifferentiated cancer 3c and has been told she has a 30% survival rate. She starts very agressive cemo in three weeks.0 -
Hikikz said:Dear Kelly, I am 62, not
Dear Kelly, I am 62, not much younger than your mom and my story is similar which is so common with this disease. I thought I was just having some indigestion problems when I was handed the diagnosis of ovarian cancer. Needless to say it was almost to much to absorb. The hard part for me was telling my 85-year old mother. I didn't even get the chance to tell my son who was out of town on vacation. I ended up in the ER that day because my heart went out of rhythm so a family member had to break the news to my son, who flew to my bedside at the ER. So initially I dealt with this with shock, sorrow and fear. The gastroenterologist who read my CT scan told me nothing could be done because it had spread to my stomach. That day, March 16, 2010 has to be the worst day of my life. Somehow maybe through denial, I made it to the appointment with my ob/oncologist who told me there was hope. I told him what the gastro man said and he told me that is why you are here; I am not a gastroenterologist. And the cancer was not in my stomach. Since than I have had chemo than surgery and I will be starting my chemo again. The surgeon stated he removed 95% of the cancer and gives me hope for a future. So how have I dealt with all this? I'd say primarily with a lot of hope, support from family and friends and some denial. I try not to look ahead. It is hard but living in the moment is so important. There is so much to deal with that a person doesn't really have much time to look ahead. My best to your mom and to you. As a caretaker you have a vital role in your mom's treatment. Thank God for the angels in my life who basically did everything for me when I could not see beyond my diagnosis. Luv, Karen
Thank you so much for sending me your struggle with Ovarian Cancer. I hope the best for you and for my Mom.
We contacted the Canadian Cancer Society's Peer Group. They hooked her up with a nice lady named Shirley who lives in a different part of Canada but who was about the same age, same stage etc as mom. Shirley calls my mom once a week, she has been cancer free for 13 years. She has been a Godsend. Perhaps the American cancer society has the same thing.
Keeping you in my thoughts.
Kelly0 -
Hello, Kelly,
I am so very sorry about your Mom, and that we are meeting this way.
You have come to the right place.
The emotional side of cancer has been very difficult for me. I am a Stage 3 4-year Survivor, and I've been off chemo since February of this year.
Since I was first diagnosed in May '06, I have listened to meditation cds, and I also talk to God a LOT, and lately I've been reading the Bible more and more. Lots of good stuff in there.
I have several meditation cds; some are on cancer meditation, and visualization. I really like the visualization ones. I love the Deepak Chopra (Chakras); if your mom is open to meditation. I also have some that just play soft music or nature sounds. Sometimes it helps to take my mind away for a while, or help me get to sleep. I have a cheap little cd player next to my bed, and I can use that with or without the headphones. (Or, of course, and Ipod).
If the anxiety gets too bad, you and your Mom can ask your doctor for something to help with that. Also, Benedryl helps me sleep.
The GOOD news is that she responded to the first treatment! That's a nice drop in her CA.
She might want to try a little prune juice each day to help with the constipation~
You're in my prayers,
~Susan xoxo0
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