ONE YEAR AGO THIS WEEK (22ND) SURGERY PERFORMED, OUR JOURNEY BEGAN AND NOW DONE

MOE58

Hello all my CSN friends,

I don't post much but wanted to celebrate the one year anniversary of Jeff having the IVOR LEWIS SURGERY. Yes for the ones wondering I was like you, I was scared, and didn't know what to expect, i was petriffied, and starting wearing my BIG GIRL PANTIES!!! Wow!!! was this a journey to remember. Surgery was good, but on day 2 of surgery was only given 24 to 72 hours to live, not due to the surgery but due to his lungs, as the doctor told me and his mother "HE HAS SICK SICK LUNGS" so with that said he was in ICU for 12 days, then all of a sudden he woke up and hospital calling me and he was up and moving along. From there we went to a floor to home and to many many appts. I never imagined that i would ever walk a journey with someone with cancer. I have met so many wonderful people on this site since I signed on a little over a year ago. Most of the friends are still around and posting and some we have lost and went to be with our GOD in heaven. I was so blessed that his was operable especially at such at young age he was only 45 at the time. Wow I wore those BIG GIRL PANTIES for about 6 months.

Jeff had some AWESOME DOCTORS, they were there through everything the surgeon never left us made rounds twice a day and always called me if I wasn't there. The nurses were the best, but the best one is the caregiver.

Being a caregiver to someone that has Cancer, is very hard, your there holding their heads, cleaning them up, letting them know they can do this, plus working a 40 hour week and trying to keep everything as normal as possible in life.

I have had alot of things happen in my life but this was one AMAZING JOURNEY, and I would walk these shoes again, BUT, i would know what to expect, how to deal with it, and what to expect, I wouldn't be in the dark wondering what was going to happen next or what bad news is in line.

Jeff still goes for appointments every 3-4 months to see the oncologist and have a Pet Scan done, and you always wonder in the back of your mind will it be back, you just have to hope for the best. Today was good news.

To all my CSN friends, as you see I talk about Jeff throughout this journal, not my husband well I have kept it away long enough we are no longer husband and wife, we are friends. Cancer does some ugly things to you and for out of respect of others I won't go into detail, but it has been for the best, we still talk, we still care but we grew out of love, and without love you cannot be in a relationship.

I still feel like a caregiver, and always will there is always a little part in my heart that cares, and always will it was just time i moved on it was for the best.

I will continue to post and read other posts, and will help whenever I can, cause without my CSN family I wouldn't have got this far.

Yes I have retired my BIG GIRL PANTIES, but if I ever had to deal with CANCER again, i would know what to expect.

I hope everyone fights this disease and keeps it away esophogeal cancer is a disease that is hitting more and more people everyday, lets fight it.

now to sign off this is for you KITTEN0385(LOOKING DOWN ON US)

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR A STORM TO PASS, ITS LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN"

Love to you all

Lori aka MOE58

unclaw2002

Lori,
Thank you for sharing
Lori,

Thank you for sharing and for giving others hope.

Lots of hugs,
Cindy

Unknown

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Donna70

unknown said:

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Lori, that was beautiful
Hi Lori,
That was a beautiful posting!! Happy Anniversary to Jeff!!! One year is not to be taken lightly. I think you wrote beautifully about what the cancer journey is to the patient and to the caregiver. Without our wonderful caregivers, us patients would not have the will to keep on going thru the many dark times to finally see the light at the end of that EC tunnel. Thanks for all the many times you advised me and since I had the Ivor Lewis, Jeff was one of the few here who did, it really helped. Good luck on moving on and glad that you will be coming back and checking on us. thanks!!!!! take care,
Donna70

lindadanis

Donna70 said:

Lori, that was beautiful
Hi Lori,
That was a beautiful posting!! Happy Anniversary to Jeff!!! One year is not to be taken lightly. I think you wrote beautifully about what the cancer journey is to the patient and to the caregiver. Without our wonderful caregivers, us patients would not have the will to keep on going thru the many dark times to finally see the light at the end of that EC tunnel. Thanks for all the many times you advised me and since I had the Ivor Lewis, Jeff was one of the few here who did, it really helped. Good luck on moving on and glad that you will be coming back and checking on us. thanks!!!!! take care,
Donna70

A big thank you to Lori
Lori, you have posted on many of my posts for the past ten months and I just wanted to thank you from my heart for all the words of wisdom that you have sent my way. I do not know what happened to your marriage and I know that it is a private matter, but I wanted to say something: It takes a big heart to stay with a person who has cancer and you must be quite a friend to have stayed and helped him. Cancer does do many things, changes many relationships good and bad, ask William, I know this from my personal own situation, cancer changes people, good and bad, and I think you are an amazing woman to stand my your ex husband and hold his hand and go through such a terrible ordeal. I think you have set an example that we all should follow. I hope your future will bring you much joy and happiness and I just wanted to say "thanks" Lori, you are an inspiration.

Linda

Unknown

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nancyann3

unknown said:

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You were one of the firsts
You were one of the first ones to post for me to when I first came to this site. I have been wearing the "big girl panties" just like you told me to. I wish you all the best! Congrats to Jeff also.

Nancy

JaneE2366

Happy and Sad
Lori,
Happy to hear Jeff is doing well. Sad and sorry to hear you guys are not together anymore...but I hope you are both happy. God Bless you both.
Take care,
Jane

mmr19

I agree
Lori you have been an awesome caregiver to Jeff. And an awesome inspiration to the rest of us caregivers.
I agree with the others- I'm glad that Jeff is doing well. And now it's time that you take care of YOU!
Thank you for all your words of wisdom and kindness. Please keep in touch.

Marta

paul61

Mixed Emotions
Lori,

I am very happy to hear that Jeff is still doing well. I am sad to hear the two of you are no longer together.

I have to admit; it makes me remember that I sometimes forget to thank my wife for all the hours and sacrifice she has put into being my caregiver for the last seven months since I had my Ivor Lewis procedure followed by five months of chemotherapy.

I can only echo the other posts here today and say it takes great compassion and courage to stand by someone as caregiver when many people in the same situation would feel they no longer had any obligation to provide that support.

Thanks for being there to support Jeff, and thanks for being here to support the rest of us.

Best Regards,

Paul Adams
McCormick, South Carolina

DX 10/22/2009 T2N1M0
12/03/2010 Ivor Lewis
2/8 – 6/14/2010 Adjuvant Chemo Cisplatin, Epirubicin, 5 FU
6/21/2010 CT Scan NED

MOE58

unknown said:

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I was scared to Post but you all stood with me
First off let me say thanks to everyone for all the nice and caring thoughts and good luck, yes it is time to take care of ME, and move on which I have. All of you all have left great and inspirational advice thanks.


Yes William I remember your first post to me and you are right I didn't like you nor your pictures, to be honest I thought you were just weird, then i started reading more and more of your post and you grew on me, yes i remember when i thought oh gosh he is dying, and turned to you and you helped me and my sweet dear mother in law. I always turned on the laptop day in and day out to see what hope you have given me. I go back many times and read those post. Gee alot has happened since then.

Yes William I thought i could i thought I could and I did, and yes I am complete now, I am doing good, actually I am very happy and not sorry at all that I was there with him, otherwise I wouldn't have met any of you guys on CSN.

Yes everything happens for a reason, and I guess thats way GOD had me go back to Jeff when I did so I would be there when he was diagnosed with Cancer. Yes I have retired my BIG GIRL PANTIES I wore that not only with Jeff, but with my parents also I hope to never have to wear them again but if I do at least I will get fresh and new ones.

For Donna i will always be here for you, Sherri, you are an awesome caregiver for your husband I wish you the best and know Jim will fight this disease. To Paul, its okay and yes you need to thank your wife everyday for being there with you through all this, its hard on caregivers. To Linda if you ever need to vent feel free to message me I can read between lines.

Most of all Thank you all for your prayers, encouragement and most of all your love, I will continue to help as I can but know I did all I could do to make it work, and GOD had other plans for me.

With that said, I went from the little engine to I know I can thanks everyone

Lori/Moe

lindadanis

paul61 said:

Mixed Emotions
Lori,

I am very happy to hear that Jeff is still doing well. I am sad to hear the two of you are no longer together.

I have to admit; it makes me remember that I sometimes forget to thank my wife for all the hours and sacrifice she has put into being my caregiver for the last seven months since I had my Ivor Lewis procedure followed by five months of chemotherapy.

I can only echo the other posts here today and say it takes great compassion and courage to stand by someone as caregiver when many people in the same situation would feel they no longer had any obligation to provide that support.

Thanks for being there to support Jeff, and thanks for being here to support the rest of us.

Best Regards,

Paul Adams
McCormick, South Carolina

DX 10/22/2009 T2N1M0
12/03/2010 Ivor Lewis
2/8 – 6/14/2010 Adjuvant Chemo Cisplatin, Epirubicin, 5 FU
6/21/2010 CT Scan NED

Lori
I know you can read between the lines, you and I have alot in common in many different ways, please, yes, let me know how to contact you, do you want me to do it on this website or another way, please let me know ok, I am sure I will be looking for some advice from you here and there. Good Luck Girl with your future, you sure deserve a good one.

Linda