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waffle8
waffle8 Member Posts: 234
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
I had to go out in a crowd today my counts are down so I was wearing a mask...What I would like to be wearing is a sign that says "NO I am not contagious but you might be." ....I do not mind the looking cause I know people are just curious but I do mind the stares..It is just plain rude.....Think I will be staying home for awhile....
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  • aysemari
    aysemari Member Posts: 1,596 Member
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    I know what you mean
    I love your sign idea, maybe she make that a t-shirt.

    i went out my scarve thingy and one time a guy not only
    stared but turned back around and looked at me like 4
    times as he was walking away... I just smiled at him chalked
    it offto my sexiness!

    But it makes you wonder WHAT are they thinking.

    Ayse
  • sea60
    sea60 Member Posts: 2,613
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    Sorry...
    Yeah, before cancer, when I saw someone with a mask, I tried even harder to not linger a second more when I looked their way knowing that it must feel awkward for them.

    Now, I KNOW what it's like to be on the other side of the spectrum. There are some people that were probably never taught that it is rude to stare.

    I would have stuck out my tongue...LOL!!!


    Don't stay home ;D

    Blessings to you Sister
  • Christine Louise
    Christine Louise Member Posts: 426 Member
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    Masked
    I was not traumatized by losing my hair and going out wearing scarves and hats. But the first time I had to add the mask, the top edge of it was wet with my tears. I felt so conspicuous, pitiful or sick-looking. There's always something that puts you over the edge, isn't there? The second masked day, I was over it.

    I'm not sure which is weirder -- stares or the quick glancing away. In the past, I've been a glancer-awayer, but having bc has made me want to acknowledge others' humanity. Well, I hope, anyway, that I will look people in the eye and say hi when we pass.
  • aisling8
    aisling8 Member Posts: 1,627 Member
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    Masked
    I was not traumatized by losing my hair and going out wearing scarves and hats. But the first time I had to add the mask, the top edge of it was wet with my tears. I felt so conspicuous, pitiful or sick-looking. There's always something that puts you over the edge, isn't there? The second masked day, I was over it.

    I'm not sure which is weirder -- stares or the quick glancing away. In the past, I've been a glancer-awayer, but having bc has made me want to acknowledge others' humanity. Well, I hope, anyway, that I will look people in the eye and say hi when we pass.

    I'm sorry
    that you've had to deal with masks and stares on top of everything else. I'm impressed you went out and about anyway!! That's pretty courageous.

    Victoria
  • VickiSam
    VickiSam Member Posts: 9,079 Member
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    aisling8 said:

    I'm sorry
    that you've had to deal with masks and stares on top of everything else. I'm impressed you went out and about anyway!! That's pretty courageous.

    Victoria

    Waffle8 -- I call this .. Locked down
    I too suffered with my counts. I found it eaiser to run to grocery store, or target very early in the am about 6. I still wore my mask, but I did run into too many people.

    Please make sure to take anti-biotic wipies with you and wipe you hand frenquently. Because I am here to tell you .. if you get sick, with a fever - you chemo schedule, life as you know it .. will come to a dead STOP.

    We have several women on this site, that did get separated from their children this winter time .. due to low white blood cell counts and the flu.

    Just be cautious :-)))))


    Vicki Sam
  • cavediver
    cavediver Member Posts: 607
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    understand....
    Before my dx, I traveled by air out of country often for my work as a cave guide.......for a year I wore a mask on the flights for my protection and was stared at as if I had the problem. It was to protect me from the sneezing passengers during the swine flu issues. So I know the stares...but you come first.....your life counts. Let 'em stare! You are going to beat this beast because you are taking the correct precautions to not get off schedule.
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
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    I must admit, that when I
    I must admit, that when I see a person in a mask, or a screaming child, or a 3 legged dog, or a man with a parrot on his shoulder, or a magenta muscle car, or a girl covered in tattoos, or an old man with NO hair except for a straggly ponytail, or the other guy who thinks polyester is still in style~ I do give them the once over! Hopefully I don't stare, but ya know, talented as many thought he was, even Michael Jackson looked "different" when he wore a mask in public! The good thing about the mask is, it's an instant disguise! So let em stare! They probably don't recognize you anyway! LOL

    You can be the Lone Ranger! I, being married to a Native American, and living on the reservation while I was in treatment never had Chemo-Brain...I had Kemo-Sabe brain! We could go out together!

    Its a lousy road, this BC journey, that's for sure! But, one of my favorite quotes, in case you haven't seen me post it a million times before is:

    We do what we have to do, so we can do what we want to do!

    If you need a mask... wear one and don't let gawkers stop you from going out! It's just all of us imperfect humans doing what we do best~ speculating about things we know little about!

    hugs,
    Chen♥
  • Ritzy
    Ritzy Member Posts: 4,381 Member
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    chenheart said:

    I must admit, that when I
    I must admit, that when I see a person in a mask, or a screaming child, or a 3 legged dog, or a man with a parrot on his shoulder, or a magenta muscle car, or a girl covered in tattoos, or an old man with NO hair except for a straggly ponytail, or the other guy who thinks polyester is still in style~ I do give them the once over! Hopefully I don't stare, but ya know, talented as many thought he was, even Michael Jackson looked "different" when he wore a mask in public! The good thing about the mask is, it's an instant disguise! So let em stare! They probably don't recognize you anyway! LOL

    You can be the Lone Ranger! I, being married to a Native American, and living on the reservation while I was in treatment never had Chemo-Brain...I had Kemo-Sabe brain! We could go out together!

    Its a lousy road, this BC journey, that's for sure! But, one of my favorite quotes, in case you haven't seen me post it a million times before is:

    We do what we have to do, so we can do what we want to do!

    If you need a mask... wear one and don't let gawkers stop you from going out! It's just all of us imperfect humans doing what we do best~ speculating about things we know little about!

    hugs,
    Chen♥

    I wish it hadn't of bothered
    I wish it hadn't of bothered you Waffle. I, personally, wouldn't think anything of it. I don't judge people or even notice someone if they are different. We are all human beings, all children of God.

    I hate that this happened to you. If a mask is needed by you, please continue to wear it and don't worry about the ignorant people that might stare.


    You have every right to go out, mask or not. Please don't let this stop you.


    Too bad you can't put a sign on that says Only Ignorant People Will Stare At Me!


    Hoping you don't let anyone stop you from doing what you want to do!


    Sue :)
  • Pinkpower
    Pinkpower Member Posts: 437
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    So many ignorant people out
    So many ignorant people out there, I recently went to the hospital to visit a friend and I asked for a mask and the nurse gladly gve me one, but even in a hospital people stared at ME! Like I was the contagious one. Funny huh? So, dont let ignorant people stop you from living. We go thru enough personal, physical and emotional struggles, so Go out, mask and all, and enjoy life.
  • Chickadee1955
    Chickadee1955 Member Posts: 356 Member
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    Pinkpower said:

    So many ignorant people out
    So many ignorant people out there, I recently went to the hospital to visit a friend and I asked for a mask and the nurse gladly gve me one, but even in a hospital people stared at ME! Like I was the contagious one. Funny huh? So, dont let ignorant people stop you from living. We go thru enough personal, physical and emotional struggles, so Go out, mask and all, and enjoy life.

    I asked my onc about wearing
    I asked my onc about wearing a mask in public. She told me I was more likely to get an infection due to failing to wash hands than from crowds (barring someone actually sneezing on me or something). I have season tickets to a local musical theater summer stock July and August and my onc said to go ahead and attend if I felt up to it. She did give me a mask to wear in the event I would feel more comfortable, but she didn't seem to think it necessary.

    Should I be more cautious than that? It sounds to me like many of you take much greater precautions with being around groups of people.

    Chickadee
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
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    In Europe, it's normal....staring, I mean....
    Not considered to be offensive, because most do it...

    I wore a mask on the plane. When I was bald. Actually, I put it on when the 'plump' (to put it mildly) lady next to me sneezed into my food, to which I asked for a new dinner, explaining in great detail to the flight attendant that I'm SURE that she didn't MEAN to sneeze in my food, but because I was taking treatment for CANCER and could get PNEUMONIA from even as little as germs in my FOOD...you get the drift.

    The lady got up and didn't come back till it was time to land. By this point, not only did I sport my mask, but also put my blanket over my face...

    I really HOPED that she was VERY uncomfortable....(I am SUCH a HAG!!!)

    Hugs, Kathi
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
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    KathiM said:

    In Europe, it's normal....staring, I mean....
    Not considered to be offensive, because most do it...

    I wore a mask on the plane. When I was bald. Actually, I put it on when the 'plump' (to put it mildly) lady next to me sneezed into my food, to which I asked for a new dinner, explaining in great detail to the flight attendant that I'm SURE that she didn't MEAN to sneeze in my food, but because I was taking treatment for CANCER and could get PNEUMONIA from even as little as germs in my FOOD...you get the drift.

    The lady got up and didn't come back till it was time to land. By this point, not only did I sport my mask, but also put my blanket over my face...

    I really HOPED that she was VERY uncomfortable....(I am SUCH a HAG!!!)

    Hugs, Kathi

    The moral of the story:
    YOU are going thru something that most people will never go thru...and doing it with courage, and strength...

    Let NO ONE make you feel bad or sad...just say to yourself "I bet THEY couldn't do as well as I am!".

    Hugs, Kathi
  • I asked my onc about wearing
    I asked my onc about wearing a mask in public. She told me I was more likely to get an infection due to failing to wash hands than from crowds (barring someone actually sneezing on me or something). I have season tickets to a local musical theater summer stock July and August and my onc said to go ahead and attend if I felt up to it. She did give me a mask to wear in the event I would feel more comfortable, but she didn't seem to think it necessary.

    Should I be more cautious than that? It sounds to me like many of you take much greater precautions with being around groups of people.

    Chickadee

    ...just a school teacher
    My surgeon and oncologists were of a similar mind as yours, chickadee.

    I returned to work 6 weeks after surgery. I teach elementary school and only missed every third Friday for chemo, pulling myself together by Monday and a new spelling list.

    I found myself washing my hands a bit more frequently, but I was trying to live my life as near as before the diagnosis as I could. The only outward difference, aside from the head covering thing, was that my fake 'girl' sometimes rode up. I pumped my own gas, watered the lawn, did my marketing and other shopping, picked up a teenager from high school, even went out to dinner, and on my chemo Fridays got to drive car pool.

    I'm not super woman, just a single mom determined to keep on going.
  • Christine Louise
    Christine Louise Member Posts: 426 Member
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    I asked my onc about wearing
    I asked my onc about wearing a mask in public. She told me I was more likely to get an infection due to failing to wash hands than from crowds (barring someone actually sneezing on me or something). I have season tickets to a local musical theater summer stock July and August and my onc said to go ahead and attend if I felt up to it. She did give me a mask to wear in the event I would feel more comfortable, but she didn't seem to think it necessary.

    Should I be more cautious than that? It sounds to me like many of you take much greater precautions with being around groups of people.

    Chickadee

    Over-cautious? Who knows?
    It's clearer to me all the time that doctors have different opinions about EVERYTHING! Makes it so hard to know what's best.

    I'll just say that I did get a nasty upper respiratory infection/cold during chemo. This was before I wore a mask during times of low white blood counts. Of course, I could have picked it up from my family instead of while I was running errands.

    The chemo nurses did tell me not to attend my daughter's choir concert, play or drama club supper, but if I just thought I had to, to wear the mask.

    Who knows, Chickadee? Wish I had the answer.
  • Skeezie
    Skeezie Member Posts: 586 Member
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    KathiM said:

    The moral of the story:
    YOU are going thru something that most people will never go thru...and doing it with courage, and strength...

    Let NO ONE make you feel bad or sad...just say to yourself "I bet THEY couldn't do as well as I am!".

    Hugs, Kathi

    I wouldn't stay home because of a few stares...
    Like Chen said, we all look or take a double take at something unusual. In Japan it's common to wear a mast when sick. Last Oct. when I was on chemo, I had to take my husband to the ER and at the reception they got me a mask to wear because of all the germs floatig around. But the funny thing is, the docs were all afraid of what I "had" and they didnt' want to catch it. What a hoot.

    Otherwise the first couple of chemo's I didn't wear a mask, and I would go to the casino the day before chemo but I wiped off the machines with my anti-bacterial wipes and kept one in my hand the whole time. My onc said it was ok. My WBC was always good (thanks to Neulasta I'm sure) and we went during the week in the daytime when it wasn't crowded. The last two chemo's I was too sick to leave the house so it didn't matter.

    But if I felt up to going out and I was supposed to wear a mask, I wouldn't stay home because of a few stares...let'em stare. Get your moments of joy when you can. It does pass and eventually it's over. Just stare right back. Think about our sister in pink that pulled off her wig and raised her shirt to the loudmouth jerk. You can do this.

    Hugs, Judy :-)
  • Skeezie
    Skeezie Member Posts: 586 Member
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    Skeezie said:

    I wouldn't stay home because of a few stares...
    Like Chen said, we all look or take a double take at something unusual. In Japan it's common to wear a mast when sick. Last Oct. when I was on chemo, I had to take my husband to the ER and at the reception they got me a mask to wear because of all the germs floatig around. But the funny thing is, the docs were all afraid of what I "had" and they didnt' want to catch it. What a hoot.

    Otherwise the first couple of chemo's I didn't wear a mask, and I would go to the casino the day before chemo but I wiped off the machines with my anti-bacterial wipes and kept one in my hand the whole time. My onc said it was ok. My WBC was always good (thanks to Neulasta I'm sure) and we went during the week in the daytime when it wasn't crowded. The last two chemo's I was too sick to leave the house so it didn't matter.

    But if I felt up to going out and I was supposed to wear a mask, I wouldn't stay home because of a few stares...let'em stare. Get your moments of joy when you can. It does pass and eventually it's over. Just stare right back. Think about our sister in pink that pulled off her wig and raised her shirt to the loudmouth jerk. You can do this.

    Hugs, Judy :-)

    Ok Kathi, I've just got to know...
    what are you eating? Or have you already said and I missed it?

    Yum, Judy :-)
  • ms.sunshine
    ms.sunshine Member Posts: 707 Member
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    Skeezie said:

    Ok Kathi, I've just got to know...
    what are you eating? Or have you already said and I missed it?

    Yum, Judy :-)

    I really don't pay to much
    I really don't pay to much attention to people. I remember once when my hair was coming back these young attractive ladies were staring at me I realized they were checking me out because they thought I was a cute guy. They were really embarrassed when they realized I was a woman. I just laughed.
  • jo jo
    jo jo Member Posts: 1,175
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    I know this might be a
    I know this might be a little off track but everyone is talking about people starring.
    I was taking a walk on the skywalk about a week ago and i was leaning over the railing looking down into the river but out of the corner of my eye i could see this jogger just standing there like he was pretending to stop and caught his breath. Each time i just glanced at him he was just starring and it didnt seem to bother him that i knew he was doing it, so after a couple of minutes which seemed like an eternity i had enough and i wanted to tell him off but instead i just tried to walk away...as i started to walk away he started walking toward me and im tryin to avoid him and he finally walks up to me and says, "Hi, My name is Jake and i just wanted to tell you that i think you are very beautiful" Ok now i know this guy is off his rocker cuz im bald, no eyelashes or eyebrows, gained 12 pounds and this guy says that. I was so shocked i didnt know what to say. I wasnt sure if it boosted my confidence or creeped me out...i think a little of both really.
    But this was probably the only positive stare that ive had since all this...and im not sure it was a positive thing...kinda creepy?
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
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    Skeezie said:

    Ok Kathi, I've just got to know...
    what are you eating? Or have you already said and I missed it?

    Yum, Judy :-)

    This pic is from Barcelona, Spain....
    The little restaurant is on La Ramblas, right in the heart of the old city.

    This is Paella (Spanish pronunciation: [paˈeʎa]), a Valencian rice dish. It is the 'mixta' version...seafood, chicken, and other meat. It uses a special kind of round rice, in a beautiful sauce...mmmmm....I can still taste it!!!

    I also had gazpacho, a cold pepper and herb-infused tomatoe soup, and creme brulet for dessert.

    Sangria, of course!!!

    Hugs, Kathi
  • cavediver
    cavediver Member Posts: 607
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    jo jo said:

    I know this might be a
    I know this might be a little off track but everyone is talking about people starring.
    I was taking a walk on the skywalk about a week ago and i was leaning over the railing looking down into the river but out of the corner of my eye i could see this jogger just standing there like he was pretending to stop and caught his breath. Each time i just glanced at him he was just starring and it didnt seem to bother him that i knew he was doing it, so after a couple of minutes which seemed like an eternity i had enough and i wanted to tell him off but instead i just tried to walk away...as i started to walk away he started walking toward me and im tryin to avoid him and he finally walks up to me and says, "Hi, My name is Jake and i just wanted to tell you that i think you are very beautiful" Ok now i know this guy is off his rocker cuz im bald, no eyelashes or eyebrows, gained 12 pounds and this guy says that. I was so shocked i didnt know what to say. I wasnt sure if it boosted my confidence or creeped me out...i think a little of both really.
    But this was probably the only positive stare that ive had since all this...and im not sure it was a positive thing...kinda creepy?

    take it as compliment
    I really think it was his way to send kindness and hugs your way! I had to go to bank yesterday, bald with straw hat, makeup that I am uncomfortable wearing, and felt so very obvious...but had to do this in person. The bank person made a big deal greeting me, saying "oh you look so beautiful"! Of course I did not, but it was her way of saying
    wow, I see you are ill, but want you to feel good. But, we all know we look as we do on the outside.....but everyone here is pretty darn beautiful in my book!!!!