Just diagnosed with Invasive Ductal Carcinoma on 4/8/10. I am scared and extremely sad! This all hap

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gobluegirl90
gobluegirl90 Member Posts: 53
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
38yrs mother with two small kids 9 and 10. I felt the lump and scheduled my own mammogram on 4/5/10 and they also ordered a sonogram on that same day. Then wanted me to come in for a core sono guided biopsy on 4/7/10...then I got the worst news of my life this far....I have cancer. My Dr. said I was a great candidate for a lumpectomy, then i will have chemo and radiation too. BOTH of them. WHY? I am so scared they are not telling me something and I am going to die? Pathology Report from core biopsy says 1.3cm Invasive Ductal carcinoma. (Stage I; but some IN SITU cells have grade III (aggressive cells types)? This is all new for me and moving fast.

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  • Kat11
    Kat11 Member Posts: 1,931 Member
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    Hi gobluegirl
    Welcome, I have IDC and have had a lumpectomy. I was DX last April 09 and I did the chemo and Radiation. I know how scared you are and yes everything is moving fast. Waiting on results is the hardest. You have to trust in your medical team that you are getting the best of care. IDC is an aggressive cancer,but it can be managed. All this stuff they will be telling you is very scary. It might help if you took someone with you to your next Dr appt. There is so much information your not going to be able to take it all in. I can tell you that Chemo is doable and so is radiation. Don't worry about the grade so much, just do what they tell you to do and you will get through this. There are many here to guide you through. Your not alone. As hard as this sounds, take it a day at a time.
  • natly15
    natly15 Member Posts: 1,941
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    Welcome to the boards. Wish
    Welcome to the boards. Wish you didnt have to be here, but it really is one of the best places for support and info. so many younger women are getting BC. You will find some of those women on this website. BC it seems is no respector of age or gender.

    I also had IDC, but mine was stage 2. I had 2 surgeries, 8 rounds of chemo which I just completed 2 weeks ago, and now I'm getting ready to do radiation. Had my biopsy last June, lumpectomy in July, and removal of additional lymph nodes in August. Started chemo Oct 6 of last year.

    Yes it's scary, but with todays technology we can all live long productive lifes. You will see that we are warriors and survivors who are beating BC. You are not alone! All of us on these boards are either in treatment or have completed treatment. Dont worry. Do what you need to do to beat this "beast". Lots of cyber hugs being sent your way. Keep posting here you will find a wealth of knowledge and encouragement.
  • TawnyS
    TawnyS Member Posts: 144 Member
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    Hello. My heart sank when I
    Hello. My heart sank when I read your post. I am 36 and have an 8 year old daughter. I know you are just beside yourself right now. I know it's hard to wrap your head around it and it is even harder to explain it to your children. I hope you have a good support group around you to help you through this. There are a few good books to help explain to children that Mommy has cancer. If and when you would like I could get you the titles. That helped us a lot. About being worried that your doctors are not telling you something...from my experience they have nothing to lose but to be brutally honest with you. You have every right to ask them whatever you want and if you don't understand something ask until you do. And if you just want to outright ask them if you are going to die, then do it. I certainly did. It was a relief to ask and more of a relief to hear, "NO." It will move fast, but don't let any doctors rush you into decisions. It's your body and your right to stop and think about things if you need to. It is always good to take someone with you to your appointments. They can take notes and hear exactly what you hear, but aren't hearing. Just knowing you have support with you makes it much better. I hope this helps some. I wish I could hug you! Please let me know if I can do anything for you. I just joined this group, and all these amazing survivors and care givers are amazing and supportive. A breast cancer sisterhood is like no other. Hugs!
  • gobluegirl90
    gobluegirl90 Member Posts: 53
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    TawnyS said:

    Hello. My heart sank when I
    Hello. My heart sank when I read your post. I am 36 and have an 8 year old daughter. I know you are just beside yourself right now. I know it's hard to wrap your head around it and it is even harder to explain it to your children. I hope you have a good support group around you to help you through this. There are a few good books to help explain to children that Mommy has cancer. If and when you would like I could get you the titles. That helped us a lot. About being worried that your doctors are not telling you something...from my experience they have nothing to lose but to be brutally honest with you. You have every right to ask them whatever you want and if you don't understand something ask until you do. And if you just want to outright ask them if you are going to die, then do it. I certainly did. It was a relief to ask and more of a relief to hear, "NO." It will move fast, but don't let any doctors rush you into decisions. It's your body and your right to stop and think about things if you need to. It is always good to take someone with you to your appointments. They can take notes and hear exactly what you hear, but aren't hearing. Just knowing you have support with you makes it much better. I hope this helps some. I wish I could hug you! Please let me know if I can do anything for you. I just joined this group, and all these amazing survivors and care givers are amazing and supportive. A breast cancer sisterhood is like no other. Hugs!

    Crying like a baby now again...watching my kids sleep
    I thank you so much for your kind words. I seemed to have one good day and then a bad day. Going to work is soooo hard..but it helps to keep my mind busy or I would just sit and cry all day long. I try not to cry in front of the kids. I would like those books you offered to me. I am getting a MRI tomorrow. My Dr said I can have the lumpectomy as early as late next week and get my chemo going and then onto radiation. From the biopsy path. report it is saying Invasive ductal carcinoma 1.3cm, so why the MRI, to make sure they check the other breast to make sure they don't miss anything. My BF moved to Las Vegas 2 weeks before i I found the lump and was told I have breast cancer, they say STAGE I at this point, but i am sure the MRI results could change that too. Any good books for me to understand? lol This site it amazing. But i keep crying every time I get on this site, but my RN/hand holder said that was good to cry. My mom and entire family are in Ohio. I have my husband, 2 kids and my mother-in-law and great friends at work and parents of my kids sports teams. But nobody that truly knows what absolute life altering news Cancer does to you. I need to take a zanaxx and get some sleep......sleep i don't remember what that is, i have not slept more than 2 hours at a time since 4/8/10. Thank you so much. I forgot, did you have a choice of a lumpectomy or not? As of today my surgeon says i am excellent for lumpectomy due to the size. But, part of me wants a full blown bilateral mastectomy so it will just go away and lesson my chances of re-occurrence? i just want the tumor and cancer gone. PS. I loved you pics. I have decided I am shaving mine too when the time comes, i can at least control that part of the cancer. thanks for listening to me ramble. HUGS to you too!.
  • Youcandothis
    Youcandothis Member Posts: 79
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    Crying like a baby now again...watching my kids sleep
    I thank you so much for your kind words. I seemed to have one good day and then a bad day. Going to work is soooo hard..but it helps to keep my mind busy or I would just sit and cry all day long. I try not to cry in front of the kids. I would like those books you offered to me. I am getting a MRI tomorrow. My Dr said I can have the lumpectomy as early as late next week and get my chemo going and then onto radiation. From the biopsy path. report it is saying Invasive ductal carcinoma 1.3cm, so why the MRI, to make sure they check the other breast to make sure they don't miss anything. My BF moved to Las Vegas 2 weeks before i I found the lump and was told I have breast cancer, they say STAGE I at this point, but i am sure the MRI results could change that too. Any good books for me to understand? lol This site it amazing. But i keep crying every time I get on this site, but my RN/hand holder said that was good to cry. My mom and entire family are in Ohio. I have my husband, 2 kids and my mother-in-law and great friends at work and parents of my kids sports teams. But nobody that truly knows what absolute life altering news Cancer does to you. I need to take a zanaxx and get some sleep......sleep i don't remember what that is, i have not slept more than 2 hours at a time since 4/8/10. Thank you so much. I forgot, did you have a choice of a lumpectomy or not? As of today my surgeon says i am excellent for lumpectomy due to the size. But, part of me wants a full blown bilateral mastectomy so it will just go away and lesson my chances of re-occurrence? i just want the tumor and cancer gone. PS. I loved you pics. I have decided I am shaving mine too when the time comes, i can at least control that part of the cancer. thanks for listening to me ramble. HUGS to you too!.

    Do what you must
    Take the Xanax--I did--and ask for a sleep aid as well--I did. My dr told me sleep and lowered stress were important. The MRI locates the tumor precisely and helps your surgeon plan the surgery. Ask if they will be doing pathology while you're on the operating table. It's better if they can. I had the same diagnosis, had the lumpectomy, they were able to determine that they needed to take a little more tissue so I had clean margins all the way around. This saved me a second surgery. They also did path on two lymph nodes, found they needed to take more. So having the surgery done in a larger hospital is worthwhile. As to full mastectomy, if your dr is saying lumpectomy is sufficient think carefully before you do more. The mastectomy will incapacitate you more, and you may have trouble dealing with household chores. I ended up a stage 2A, had chemo and radiation. Certainly not fun but pretty routine prescription. I hate that you're dealing with this so young, with young children. Ask lots of questions, get a second opinion if you're not comfortable with the first, and go for the best care. You and your family deserve it. Lots of love and support from all of us whose footsteps you are following. We are strong and so are you.
  • TawnyS
    TawnyS Member Posts: 144 Member
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    Crying like a baby now again...watching my kids sleep
    I thank you so much for your kind words. I seemed to have one good day and then a bad day. Going to work is soooo hard..but it helps to keep my mind busy or I would just sit and cry all day long. I try not to cry in front of the kids. I would like those books you offered to me. I am getting a MRI tomorrow. My Dr said I can have the lumpectomy as early as late next week and get my chemo going and then onto radiation. From the biopsy path. report it is saying Invasive ductal carcinoma 1.3cm, so why the MRI, to make sure they check the other breast to make sure they don't miss anything. My BF moved to Las Vegas 2 weeks before i I found the lump and was told I have breast cancer, they say STAGE I at this point, but i am sure the MRI results could change that too. Any good books for me to understand? lol This site it amazing. But i keep crying every time I get on this site, but my RN/hand holder said that was good to cry. My mom and entire family are in Ohio. I have my husband, 2 kids and my mother-in-law and great friends at work and parents of my kids sports teams. But nobody that truly knows what absolute life altering news Cancer does to you. I need to take a zanaxx and get some sleep......sleep i don't remember what that is, i have not slept more than 2 hours at a time since 4/8/10. Thank you so much. I forgot, did you have a choice of a lumpectomy or not? As of today my surgeon says i am excellent for lumpectomy due to the size. But, part of me wants a full blown bilateral mastectomy so it will just go away and lesson my chances of re-occurrence? i just want the tumor and cancer gone. PS. I loved you pics. I have decided I am shaving mine too when the time comes, i can at least control that part of the cancer. thanks for listening to me ramble. HUGS to you too!.

    I'm glad to hear you do have
    I'm glad to hear you do have a support system. They will be your cheerleaders. Let them do for you while you focus on kickin' cancer butt! Crying is all part of it. If that is what makes you feel some relief just do it. It may even make your children feel better to see you cry and then they may know it is okay for them to cry. This is a crying situation. The xanax will help. Everyone takes something. It is a stressful and anxious time. Take the medicine if/when you need it. I will get you the titles to the books for your children sometime tomorrow. The MRI is just another way of looking at what is going on with your cancer. I was lucky that I had the opportunity to have all the tests and scans that I had and now have found out a lot of women don't get offered some of the tests. I highly recommend taking what they offer you in terms of testing. You asked if I had the choice of a lumpectomy. No, I didn't. My only choice was what I got, which was a bilateral mastectomy. Eevryone is different, every cancer is different and every circumstance is different. Talk with your doc about the pros and cons of both as it seems like you might have a lot of questions on the subject. Don't think about time or his/her schedule when you are meeting. Take as much time to ask as many questions as you want. Get the clear answers. It may not be what you want to hear, but you must have confidence in the doctor that he/she is giving you the right answers. If you don't feel that then move on to another one. I think I know more people than not that have gotten 2nd and 3rd opinions. It's your right. I was lucky in that all my doctors worked out for me (except one, my GI doc, but he really doesn't count in all this). I'm glad you looked at my pics. I just posted them today. That's the first time I've shared my bald head with anyone besides family. Just like I said, I thought I was bald then. I really am now. I have 3 eyebrow hairs and my eyelashes are having a love hate relationship with me right now. My hair is trying to figure things out....not sure if the coast is clear. :) I keep telling the little hairs it is safe to come out now! I hope you get some rest! Good luck with your MRI! Stay strong!
  • survivorbc09
    survivorbc09 Member Posts: 4,374 Member
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    natly15 said:

    Welcome to the boards. Wish
    Welcome to the boards. Wish you didnt have to be here, but it really is one of the best places for support and info. so many younger women are getting BC. You will find some of those women on this website. BC it seems is no respector of age or gender.

    I also had IDC, but mine was stage 2. I had 2 surgeries, 8 rounds of chemo which I just completed 2 weeks ago, and now I'm getting ready to do radiation. Had my biopsy last June, lumpectomy in July, and removal of additional lymph nodes in August. Started chemo Oct 6 of last year.

    Yes it's scary, but with todays technology we can all live long productive lifes. You will see that we are warriors and survivors who are beating BC. You are not alone! All of us on these boards are either in treatment or have completed treatment. Dont worry. Do what you need to do to beat this "beast". Lots of cyber hugs being sent your way. Keep posting here you will find a wealth of knowledge and encouragement.

    I am so sorry. But, you
    I am so sorry. But, you have found a great supportive group of bc survivors that will help you and support you. Good luck!
  • MyTurnNow
    MyTurnNow Member Posts: 2,686 Member
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    Welcome, gobluegirl to this
    Welcome, gobluegirl to this amazing site filled with caring sisters ready to help you through your journey. I was diagnosed last June and had the choice between a lumpectomy versus mastectomy. I, too, had IDC, Stage 2. My surgeon recommended the lumpectomy and advised that my chance of recurrence was the same regardless of my choice. She said you can never totally remove all the breast tissue even if you opt for a mastectomy. I struggled with this choice more than anything else. At first, I wanted a mastectomy so I would never have to deal with bc again. Well, upon realizing that that just isn't a true statement, I opted for the lumpectomy. My surgeon obtained clear margins on the first go-round and the sentinel node biopsy done at the same time only showed a microscopic cancel cell. So, I had chemo, radiation and am now taking Arimidex for 5 years. I made it through with the help of the individuals on this site. Any question you have can be asked and more than likely someone has been in that situation before and will share with you. Please take a breath and just know that everything ahead of you is do-able and we'll be there to offer support and encouragement. Take care and continue to post and ask questions. ((((Hugs))))
  • youngnana
    youngnana Member Posts: 41
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    So glad you found this site,
    So glad you found this site, but so sorry you have recieved this news. I too am fairly new here. Diagnosed 2/23, IBC, stage 1, grade 1, .08 cm. I remember feeling so positive about the biopsy, so when the surgeon told me it was cancer, I was in shock, couldnt believe her, I remember saying, really, no way!! I knew she was going to give me a lot of information, and I didnt have anyone with me to help remember....So I focused on her eyes, and tried to stay very focused. I didnt want to miss a thing. The worst thing was having to tell my husband, daughters, mother and sisters. It broke their hearts. I cried all that first day, then for periods during the following couple of weeks. I also continued working to try and keep my mind occupied on something else. The cancer is all consuming, especially when you lay down to sleep, your mind just will not rest.....My husband and I decided in the very beginning that a bi-lateral mastectomy was our choice, and my surgeon agreed that either way, it was totally my decision, and what would give me peace of mind. We felt that the chance of reoccurance would be much less with them gone. I am 50, and didnt want to worry every time I had to return for mammograms. My surgery was 3/16, with immediate reconstruction. As the time got closer to that date, It was so hard to admit that they were going, I had such grief at their loss. My first week home after surgery, the acceptance was difficult, I cried the first few days, then forced myself to really look at them, and decided they are actully just fine. I have had 3 fills so far, and doing fine. My path report came back great, all margins clear, and no nodes involved. I am now waiting for the results on the genetic testing to see if I score low, and no additional treatments, or a high score and will consider treatment options. My oncologist is very optimistic that the results will be good. It is so very important that you are comfortable with your doctors. if you arent, get 2nd and 3rd opinions if needed until you do. My surgeon, and plastic surgeon were wonderful, but I did get a 2nd opinion for my oncologist. This is all so frightening, and I also had no one to talk to who had been here, so I found this site, and am so very grateful for the wonderful women here. They have helped me along each and every step of this journey. So, talk to your surgeon, you want to know all of your options so you can make your mose educated decision, follow your heart, it will let you know when you have made the right choice, you will feel at peace. I am praying that you will feel strength, and comfort as you proceed down this path. Keep posting, it really does help.
    Karen
  • mwallace1325
    mwallace1325 Member Posts: 806
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    IDC
    I was also dxed with IDC last April, mine was stage IIIa and the tumor was 6.5 cm. I had the lumpectomy, finished 4 rounds of AC followed by 12 weeks of taxol, then 33 rounds of radiaiton. It sucked sometimes but I finished chemo 10/29 and radiation 1/15. Hair's growing back, I'm getting my energy back and starting to feel like a person again, rather than a "victim".
    You'll get through everything, even though at times it's difficult. I think the worst was in the beginning after diagnosis and before treatment started. You know something's wrong and needs to be corrected but everything has to be done in the correct order and at the right time to accomplish that.
    If you're confident in your team of doctors, trust that the things they are telling you need to be done, do in fact need to be done. Chemo and radiation attack cancer in totally different ways which is why both are often done.
    Feel free to come back here whenever you need to. Also feel free to ask your doctors as many questions as you have and as many times as you need to ask until you understand.
    Good luck and hang in there.
  • TawnyS
    TawnyS Member Posts: 144 Member
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    Books for children
    Hi! I hope today finds you better and your MRI went okay. I am listing a few books that my daughter really liked reading and we would sit together and read them or look at the pictures and she would ask questions. It is always best you may want to skim over them before introducing them to your children.

    Butterfly Kisses and Wishes on Wings (Ellen McVicker) my friend actually emailed the author and bought Erin the book and the author wrote a sweet note to her and signed the book.

    My Mommy Has Breast Cancer (Gina Wright)

    Michael's Mommy Has Breast Cancer (Lisa Torrey)

    The Paper Chain (Claire Blake Eliza Blanchard Kathy Parkinson)

    Just know we are all thinking of you and sending you hugs and support!
  • jbug
    jbug Member Posts: 285
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    So sorry you have to have
    So sorry you have to have found this site, but it's a great place for love and support. You have every reason to be sad! The words "you have cancer" are life changing. Give yourself a break and let yourself cry.

    I saw your later post that you were considering mastectomy. I had a small tumor .4 mm and opted for lumpectomy. There are certainly a lot of women on this site who've chosen mastectomy and would be willing to share their stories w/you as well as women like me that chose lumpectomy. Know that ultimately, we all make the decisions that are best for our individual situations.

    Good luck as you begin making decision for your treatment plan. Blessings...
    Julie
  • tressa4568
    tressa4568 Member Posts: 2
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    Hi Gobluegirl
    I was diagnosed 3/2 with IDC with a 2.2 cm tumor with 1 node positive, so I'm having to do chemo and radiation too. It is stage 2A, grade 1. I just started today on taxotere and cytoxan. So far the only side effect I have had is that I'm really hungry. Maybe it's the steroids?? Maybe it's the relief of getting the chemo started and it not being horrible so far. I know how overwhelmed you must feel though. Hearing the words "you have cancer" is life altering and until a person hears those words about themselves, they really can't understand what it feels like. That's why this website is so great! You are in my prayers. Please don't hesitate to ask questions or just vent your feelings. It can be good for you.
  • rm22111
    rm22111 Member Posts: 54
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    good information
    If you need some good information on various kinds of breast cancer and staging, surgery options, etc. Call your local American Cancer Society and request information on Breast cancer. I was sent a book that they put together just for me on breast cancer. They also sent me a book on dealing with chemo. It has been very helpful. These two were free. They also have some that you can purchase. They also gave me information on local support groups for my self and my children and spouse. Both Borders and Barnes and Noble carry some great books on breast cancer. Hope this is helpful . For me the more I knew ahead of time the better I felt about my choices.
    rm22111
  • e_hope
    e_hope Member Posts: 370
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    feel for you
    goblue90.... I feel for you, I was in the same place last year.. 36 mother of a 6, 4, and 2 year old... and IDC stage 2b with grade 3 cancer cells... Never sick in my life and no medical problems.. scared to death to say the least....

    Now, a little over a year later... been through a double mastectomy with reconstruction, chemo, and radiation... and I am doing well!

    I know you are scared... for the fist time you look at your children and wonder if you will ever seen them grow up.. Scared of the treatments that are ahead of you..

    You are not alone.. You will find the strength and pull from the energy of your family and kids to get you through the next year. The road is not easy by any means but you can do it..

    I know its hard to imagine why you have to do all the treatments for stage 1.. but remember in younger woman.. the cancer cells are generally very aggressive so the purpose of the chemo is to cleanse your blood of any mircoscopic cancer cells that might have escaped.. and radiation is status quo with lumpectomy..

    As for going to die??????? remember this the spectrum of cancer has a far left and a far right.. and there is no reason to not believe that you are on the far right of that spectrum.... I remember people constantly telling me... "your going to be fine" and my response was " I have to!... I have no intentions of leaving my children motherless"

    You will find such strength from the woman on this sight... We are all here to help you through your journey

    sending you a (((hug)))