Has Cancer Been ALL Bad For You?
Comments
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Cancer does not deserve credit for anythingittapp said:I was DX in May so it is
I was DX in May so it is still pretty raw to me, having said that I must admit that money no longer means anything to me. My husband was laid off from a job making a very very high income right before my DX, we went from living large to barely getting by, we sold most of what we own and are now a one car family. It was my daughters birthday last week and she wanted to go eat at a Hibatchi rest. I had to save for this, we went as a family along with her best friend. It was the most enjoyable dinner, so appreciative to be able to get out, and the food was so good. Before we ate out when and wherever we wanted, always taking it totally for granted. Now I see the LITTLE things in life that I overlooked before.We spend time as a family watching cheap movies, and playing tag football to have fun. We don't need to spend money to enjoy life. cancer still sucks in every other way imaginable but it has made me see things differently. Patti
I am not giving cancer itself credit for anything. Cancer is nasty and i think we can all agree that nobody wants it and it is a destroyer. What I am saying is that the beauty is not in cancer, it is in the realization of our own mortality. Alot of people go through life planning for the future without really living in the present. Although our circumstances are unfortunate, we are forced to believe in a tomorrow but focus on the present. If that is the case, then we might as well enjoy the ride instead of focusing on the negative. Cancer is already a nasty, mean, unforgiving foe to begin with and we all hate it but I choose to net let it rule my life. The more you let it consume your mind, the more invasive it can become in your body. Stress affects your immune system. It`s not at all about what cancer has done for me, it`s about what I have learned in spite of it and how life is more important than the disease itself. It`s about conquering the beast, not embracing it. I am not implying that anybody here embraces it and I hope I have not Offended anybody by this post. We are allowed to feel however we want to feel without judgment. I`m just stating my take on it.
Eric0 -
cancer
I hate cancer. It has robbed my family of so much. It's a tough time right now and I hate cancer more everyday. We are in financial ruin. I made significantly more income than my husband and 6 mos before my diagnosis we drained our savings to buy our dream house. Now that I can't work we can no longer afford the house and have no savings.
However, there have been blessings. My community has provided meals (they just started up again), rides to treatments, a Relay team has 'adopted' me and will be providing the catering for my sons high school graduation this spring....more and more.
My youngest son is the (very) local basketball star. He has had television interviews and multiple interviews for newspapers in the region. Here is a recent quote from one of the newspaper interviews.
"Everyone has someone or something in their life that leads them or inspires them. Tyler said his biggest inspiration in his life is his mother. 'She has helped make me a much stronger person by being strong through her staying tough. She has had a very hard time, but has remained optimistic and has fought harder than anyone I know. She is the true meaning of perseverance. She will not let cancer bring her down and doesn't let it change her life either. She works hard at being at all my games and being my number one fan. I know she is always there for me. She is indeed my hero.' "
I can think of no greater honor or blessing. I love my life.
Outwit. Outlast. Outplay.
Kimby0 -
I Feel....PhillieG said:WOW
Many people who I would have thought would answer one way had totally different responses. I'm really surprised.
Eric, thanks for your comment. Yeah, I can rock the boat but all of our boats have been rocked by cancer.
Attitude is EVERYTHING
That I can't hate anything, or anyone, sure I can complain, but Hate is a strong word for me now, and although I got cancer, it's just another thing that the lord has set me on my plate to fight. I feel like I wasn't the woman I used to be, especially being intimate, and less to do with my kids, getting hard getting to all their activities, hard to drive on narcotics at times, but I really don't let it try to take me over and change me, it's just trying to adjust to a new life for me, eating better, and no more junk, I don't force to eat what I eat on my kids, it's like I have to buy different things for them and them there's my cancer part of the fridge, like my frest fruits, yogurts and all that. I can't wait for the sping and summer to produce more of those cool looking hybrids...we will also be planting for our garden as well, lots of eggplant, and squash, and lots of tiger, pink tomatoes, all these different things Burpees has out now! I don't think of cancer as an enemy, just a kick in the pants I should have been eating like this before, and taking better care of myself, seeing a dr more often, llike I should have beem I may have caught this sucker early, so I'm part to blame for this.
But I have accepted my fate, and not afraid to go, I'm more worried for my kids when I go, as I know how devasted they will be. But I'm not ready to go anytime soon, I'm trying to keep on this!
Hugsss!
~Donna0 -
And thats so true Kimby...kimby said:cancer
I hate cancer. It has robbed my family of so much. It's a tough time right now and I hate cancer more everyday. We are in financial ruin. I made significantly more income than my husband and 6 mos before my diagnosis we drained our savings to buy our dream house. Now that I can't work we can no longer afford the house and have no savings.
However, there have been blessings. My community has provided meals (they just started up again), rides to treatments, a Relay team has 'adopted' me and will be providing the catering for my sons high school graduation this spring....more and more.
My youngest son is the (very) local basketball star. He has had television interviews and multiple interviews for newspapers in the region. Here is a recent quote from one of the newspaper interviews.
"Everyone has someone or something in their life that leads them or inspires them. Tyler said his biggest inspiration in his life is his mother. 'She has helped make me a much stronger person by being strong through her staying tough. She has had a very hard time, but has remained optimistic and has fought harder than anyone I know. She is the true meaning of perseverance. She will not let cancer bring her down and doesn't let it change her life either. She works hard at being at all my games and being my number one fan. I know she is always there for me. She is indeed my hero.' "
I can think of no greater honor or blessing. I love my life.
Outwit. Outlast. Outplay.
Kimby
Out of the mouths of babes...you think they don't notice, but they do, and he said it so eloquently! what a babydoll!
My daughter didn't know look I looked at her twitter, and read one of her comments, where she said "Why can't God listen to me, like when I say I wish my moms cancer was gone, and then POOF it goes away!" I thought that was so sweet. But it also makes her on a non-believer in her, thinking he isn't listening to her, and I tell her, he is, because I'm still here.
Hugsss!
~Donna0 -
I hate cancer for sure.I
I hate cancer for sure.I hate to see someone I love most in this world suffering from it.But just because we run into this crisis,I think my husband and I are bonded together tighter,our marriage became stronger and we love and treasure each other more.
It also allowed me to know so many good people in this forum.
Like everybody else,I treasure and cherish every moment in my life and I really appreciate everything I have and stop worring about what I don't have.0 -
HATEShayenne said:I Feel....
That I can't hate anything, or anyone, sure I can complain, but Hate is a strong word for me now, and although I got cancer, it's just another thing that the lord has set me on my plate to fight. I feel like I wasn't the woman I used to be, especially being intimate, and less to do with my kids, getting hard getting to all their activities, hard to drive on narcotics at times, but I really don't let it try to take me over and change me, it's just trying to adjust to a new life for me, eating better, and no more junk, I don't force to eat what I eat on my kids, it's like I have to buy different things for them and them there's my cancer part of the fridge, like my frest fruits, yogurts and all that. I can't wait for the sping and summer to produce more of those cool looking hybrids...we will also be planting for our garden as well, lots of eggplant, and squash, and lots of tiger, pink tomatoes, all these different things Burpees has out now! I don't think of cancer as an enemy, just a kick in the pants I should have been eating like this before, and taking better care of myself, seeing a dr more often, llike I should have beem I may have caught this sucker early, so I'm part to blame for this.
But I have accepted my fate, and not afraid to go, I'm more worried for my kids when I go, as I know how devasted they will be. But I'm not ready to go anytime soon, I'm trying to keep on this!
Hugsss!
~Donna
Yes, very strong word that is thrown around so casually. Many people wake up, head off to work and never return. The end. I feel I had a wake up call. I'm lucky!0 -
making roses out of rain
As Buzzard said, I don't want to give cancer credit for anything. The past two and a half years of my life and my family's life have been majorly stressful with the diagnosis, every side effect of treatment, waiting for each every scan (of which I've lost count how many I've had), not being able to make future plans while wondering and worrying how sick I'm going to be, or if I'll even make it.
With all that said... can some good things come out of bad? Yes. Many bad things have happened, but I am choosing to try to focus and remind myself of some good. Roses grow and bloom after storms- after a cold winter of looking bare and ugly. There's the old saying of when life throws you lemons, then make lemonade. Obviously, it's not just as easy as that.
I am now a stay at home mom. The summer before my diagnosis, I was realllly suffering with my mixed emotions of being a working mom and I remember talking to God in my prayers, saying "Lord, I just can't do this anymore. I don't want to go back to work in the fall." I loved my teaching job, but hated the stress of feeling like I was giving my all to my students, then being too tired in the evenings to give my all to my own children. I hated the fact that my own kids had to go to an after school center every day and that my youngest complained that I never read to her (awful to admit as a teacher, but I found I was too tired to read my kids in the evening because I had been reading to other kids all day long and was worn out). So, I got sick and had to quit my job (watch what you wish for/pray for- lol!) I realize, as sad as it is, that I would not have had the opportunity otherwise to ever quit my job- we would probably lose my house if I weren't now still making 80% of my former income through disability. In spite of my illness, I am so very glad that I am able to be home now with and for the kids.
Prior to getting cancer, I tended to be someone who kept to myself & didn't reach out to others around me for more indepth friendships. I had many good acquaintences at work and church, but not really anyone I could call a close friend. When I got my stage IV diagnosis, I was overwhelmed by the number of people at work, church, and other places around me who reached out to me. Many, of course, probably just felt sorry for me and said the perfunctory things, brought me a meal, etc. I still am grateful for them, however, several real and strong friendships started at that point in time. I have several new friendships that I believe will last a lifetime (and beyond
I value people, time, and interactions with people much, much more now. I take the time to try to get to know people around me more now. Life and friendships are a gift, and I certainly don't take them for granted anymore.
"Religious warning"... (some of you may want to stop reading at this point- lol- but I hope you continue)... I know that, for me anyhow, having this horrid illness has strengthened my faith. I know for some people, it might have the opposite effect, but not for me. My beliefs on this are: I believe that God didn't cause my cancer, but since he allows us freedom of choice in this world, anyone can be affected good or bad by the state of the world in which we live in. If God intervened in everything, it'd be like we were just puppets on strings. I believe that God can choose to heal people & that sometimes he does and sometimes he doesn't. I believe I have had a couple of small miracles (if there's such thing as "small" miracles)along the way, but I do still have cancer. I would never claim to understand the why to why some people get healed and others don't, but I do truly believe that God can take something bad and allow some good to come out of it. Maybe not all things that come out of turn to good, as I will never understand what good comes out of someone losing their wife, mother, etc., BUT I do know that the way I act, speak, behave, or influence others while I'm going through fighting cancer, will definitely affect others. If I'm bitterly blaming God, complain all the time, give up my fight, etc., that would be a negative outcome. If I'm still giving praise to God through pain and frustrations, trying to stay positive, sharing information with others, etc, that that would obviously have a positive outcome. I want to be known and remembered as someone who "made roses out of rain".
I know this certainly isn't in tune with everyone else's beliefs or feelings, but I thought it would be alright to share this, given that the thread was kind of a philosophical one.
As tough as it is- make as many roses out of the rain that you can.
Blessings,
Lisa0 -
WOW! What a fantastic son +kimby said:cancer
I hate cancer. It has robbed my family of so much. It's a tough time right now and I hate cancer more everyday. We are in financial ruin. I made significantly more income than my husband and 6 mos before my diagnosis we drained our savings to buy our dream house. Now that I can't work we can no longer afford the house and have no savings.
However, there have been blessings. My community has provided meals (they just started up again), rides to treatments, a Relay team has 'adopted' me and will be providing the catering for my sons high school graduation this spring....more and more.
My youngest son is the (very) local basketball star. He has had television interviews and multiple interviews for newspapers in the region. Here is a recent quote from one of the newspaper interviews.
"Everyone has someone or something in their life that leads them or inspires them. Tyler said his biggest inspiration in his life is his mother. 'She has helped make me a much stronger person by being strong through her staying tough. She has had a very hard time, but has remained optimistic and has fought harder than anyone I know. She is the true meaning of perseverance. She will not let cancer bring her down and doesn't let it change her life either. She works hard at being at all my games and being my number one fan. I know she is always there for me. She is indeed my hero.' "
I can think of no greater honor or blessing. I love my life.
Outwit. Outlast. Outplay.
Kimby
WOW! What a fantastic son + tribute to you. You obviously have done a fabulous job so far of raising your son! You must be so proud! I hope this tough time passes for you quickly + I am really glad you have such great community support. I love your motto "outwit outlast outplay" + remind myself with it frequently.0 -
Whatever good may come from having cancer,lisa42 said:making roses out of rain
As Buzzard said, I don't want to give cancer credit for anything. The past two and a half years of my life and my family's life have been majorly stressful with the diagnosis, every side effect of treatment, waiting for each every scan (of which I've lost count how many I've had), not being able to make future plans while wondering and worrying how sick I'm going to be, or if I'll even make it.
With all that said... can some good things come out of bad? Yes. Many bad things have happened, but I am choosing to try to focus and remind myself of some good. Roses grow and bloom after storms- after a cold winter of looking bare and ugly. There's the old saying of when life throws you lemons, then make lemonade. Obviously, it's not just as easy as that.
I am now a stay at home mom. The summer before my diagnosis, I was realllly suffering with my mixed emotions of being a working mom and I remember talking to God in my prayers, saying "Lord, I just can't do this anymore. I don't want to go back to work in the fall." I loved my teaching job, but hated the stress of feeling like I was giving my all to my students, then being too tired in the evenings to give my all to my own children. I hated the fact that my own kids had to go to an after school center every day and that my youngest complained that I never read to her (awful to admit as a teacher, but I found I was too tired to read my kids in the evening because I had been reading to other kids all day long and was worn out). So, I got sick and had to quit my job (watch what you wish for/pray for- lol!) I realize, as sad as it is, that I would not have had the opportunity otherwise to ever quit my job- we would probably lose my house if I weren't now still making 80% of my former income through disability. In spite of my illness, I am so very glad that I am able to be home now with and for the kids.
Prior to getting cancer, I tended to be someone who kept to myself & didn't reach out to others around me for more indepth friendships. I had many good acquaintences at work and church, but not really anyone I could call a close friend. When I got my stage IV diagnosis, I was overwhelmed by the number of people at work, church, and other places around me who reached out to me. Many, of course, probably just felt sorry for me and said the perfunctory things, brought me a meal, etc. I still am grateful for them, however, several real and strong friendships started at that point in time. I have several new friendships that I believe will last a lifetime (and beyond
I value people, time, and interactions with people much, much more now. I take the time to try to get to know people around me more now. Life and friendships are a gift, and I certainly don't take them for granted anymore.
"Religious warning"... (some of you may want to stop reading at this point- lol- but I hope you continue)... I know that, for me anyhow, having this horrid illness has strengthened my faith. I know for some people, it might have the opposite effect, but not for me. My beliefs on this are: I believe that God didn't cause my cancer, but since he allows us freedom of choice in this world, anyone can be affected good or bad by the state of the world in which we live in. If God intervened in everything, it'd be like we were just puppets on strings. I believe that God can choose to heal people & that sometimes he does and sometimes he doesn't. I believe I have had a couple of small miracles (if there's such thing as "small" miracles)along the way, but I do still have cancer. I would never claim to understand the why to why some people get healed and others don't, but I do truly believe that God can take something bad and allow some good to come out of it. Maybe not all things that come out of turn to good, as I will never understand what good comes out of someone losing their wife, mother, etc., BUT I do know that the way I act, speak, behave, or influence others while I'm going through fighting cancer, will definitely affect others. If I'm bitterly blaming God, complain all the time, give up my fight, etc., that would be a negative outcome. If I'm still giving praise to God through pain and frustrations, trying to stay positive, sharing information with others, etc, that that would obviously have a positive outcome. I want to be known and remembered as someone who "made roses out of rain".
I know this certainly isn't in tune with everyone else's beliefs or feelings, but I thought it would be alright to share this, given that the thread was kind of a philosophical one.
As tough as it is- make as many roses out of the rain that you can.
Blessings,
Lisa
in my opinion, the price is too high to pay!!!!I did not go thru weeks of radiation, chemo, a 6 1/2 hour operation and now more chemo to be taught anything except my lifestlye led to this, which I knew anyway. While it brought my mortality before my eyes like nothing else and my diet has changed for the better and I probably appreciate life more, nevertheless THE COST (the pain, neuropathy, fatigue, weight loss, etc) was too high for me to give any positive spin to having my cancer. Admittedly we are all unique individuals and this is solely my response to Phil's provocative posting, like you I am trying my best to stay alive and live my life as best I can. Wishing goods results for all.....steve0 -
I found a few things I lost...
Ya Cancer sucks but it has also been a blessing to me and my family. I found some things I lost.
#1 I found out that my oldest son Cody (15) is one of the most caring people you can ever meet.
#2 I found out that my daughter Alex (12) likes to lay in my bed at the end of the day and just talk to her dad ABOUT ANYTHING!! LOL
#3 I found out that my youngest son Hunter (4) loves to make his dad laugh.
#4 I found out that my wife Tammy is the strongest and most wonderful person in the world and I'm so lucky to have her.
#5 I found out that my brother Joel will jump on the first flight to be with his brother when needed. He'll also call up to 12 times a day checking in on me. LOL, Gotta love him!!!
#6 I found out that after all these years that family is the best
#7 I found out who my TRUE friends are.
#8 I found a lot of really great new friends.
#9 I found out that life is not judged on how much money you made.
#10 I found myself..
This is only 10 things I have found. I could go on all day but I didn't want to drive you all nuts!
Life is funny sometimes
Brooks0 -
That's true with me as well....just4Brooks said:I found a few things I lost...
Ya Cancer sucks but it has also been a blessing to me and my family. I found some things I lost.
#1 I found out that my oldest son Cody (15) is one of the most caring people you can ever meet.
#2 I found out that my daughter Alex (12) likes to lay in my bed at the end of the day and just talk to her dad ABOUT ANYTHING!! LOL
#3 I found out that my youngest son Hunter (4) loves to make his dad laugh.
#4 I found out that my wife Tammy is the strongest and most wonderful person in the world and I'm so lucky to have her.
#5 I found out that my brother Joel will jump on the first flight to be with his brother when needed. He'll also call up to 12 times a day checking in on me. LOL, Gotta love him!!!
#6 I found out that after all these years that family is the best
#7 I found out who my TRUE friends are.
#8 I found a lot of really great new friends.
#9 I found out that life is not judged on how much money you made.
#10 I found myself..
This is only 10 things I have found. I could go on all day but I didn't want to drive you all nuts!
Life is funny sometimes
Brooks
This cancer brought our whole family closer together. They are taking care of me, after all the years I been taking care of me, and my 13 year old always points that out, Cheyenne..she said "Mom, it's our turn to take care of you" and that makes me cry, since the moms are supposed to take care of them, when Im supposed to take care of them, but they want to take care of, and its taking me alot to accept help. I feel half of what I used to be, not being able to do enough.
Hugsss!
~Donna0 -
Brooksjust4Brooks said:I found a few things I lost...
Ya Cancer sucks but it has also been a blessing to me and my family. I found some things I lost.
#1 I found out that my oldest son Cody (15) is one of the most caring people you can ever meet.
#2 I found out that my daughter Alex (12) likes to lay in my bed at the end of the day and just talk to her dad ABOUT ANYTHING!! LOL
#3 I found out that my youngest son Hunter (4) loves to make his dad laugh.
#4 I found out that my wife Tammy is the strongest and most wonderful person in the world and I'm so lucky to have her.
#5 I found out that my brother Joel will jump on the first flight to be with his brother when needed. He'll also call up to 12 times a day checking in on me. LOL, Gotta love him!!!
#6 I found out that after all these years that family is the best
#7 I found out who my TRUE friends are.
#8 I found a lot of really great new friends.
#9 I found out that life is not judged on how much money you made.
#10 I found myself..
This is only 10 things I have found. I could go on all day but I didn't want to drive you all nuts!
Life is funny sometimes
Brooks
Your post reminds me of an article I read about Michael J. Fox. Loosely quoted he said, "For everything this disease has taken from me, bigger and better have replaced it." It touched me and made me realize the same.
Outwit. Outplay. Outlast.
Kimby0 -
Cancer has given nothing I could not do withoutjust4Brooks said:I found a few things I lost...
Ya Cancer sucks but it has also been a blessing to me and my family. I found some things I lost.
#1 I found out that my oldest son Cody (15) is one of the most caring people you can ever meet.
#2 I found out that my daughter Alex (12) likes to lay in my bed at the end of the day and just talk to her dad ABOUT ANYTHING!! LOL
#3 I found out that my youngest son Hunter (4) loves to make his dad laugh.
#4 I found out that my wife Tammy is the strongest and most wonderful person in the world and I'm so lucky to have her.
#5 I found out that my brother Joel will jump on the first flight to be with his brother when needed. He'll also call up to 12 times a day checking in on me. LOL, Gotta love him!!!
#6 I found out that after all these years that family is the best
#7 I found out who my TRUE friends are.
#8 I found a lot of really great new friends.
#9 I found out that life is not judged on how much money you made.
#10 I found myself..
This is only 10 things I have found. I could go on all day but I didn't want to drive you all nuts!
Life is funny sometimes
Brooks
But there have been some positive changes in my life. Lisa - I have to say that I probably post less than I would otherwise because so many of your posts are so similar to what I might say. I cannot work. Although I feel pretty well, the time demanded for dr appointments and treatment is too great; I worked for myself and it cannot be done part-time. For many years, I struggled with trying to balance work and parenting and I don't believe I did a good job of it. Work probably suffered more but the whole struggle was just very frustrating for me. Fortunately, I also struggled to keep in effect disability insurance that I bought almost 20 years ago so I can not work without dire financial consequences. Not working has relieved a lot of stress and allowed me to feel that I am more available for whatever my teenagers need. They may not appreciate the extra attention, but I do. I also have to say that the stress on me was so great that something had to give. I certainly wish that it had been something less life threatening, or that I had had the fortitude to do whatever was required to destress before being forced to.
The reality is that I will likely not be here for my daughters in the future, and as they struggle with the work/parenthood stress. I would trade in a New York minute any benefit to me for the opportunity to continue to be here for my daughters.0 -
StevecoloCan said:Whatever good may come from having cancer,
in my opinion, the price is too high to pay!!!!I did not go thru weeks of radiation, chemo, a 6 1/2 hour operation and now more chemo to be taught anything except my lifestlye led to this, which I knew anyway. While it brought my mortality before my eyes like nothing else and my diet has changed for the better and I probably appreciate life more, nevertheless THE COST (the pain, neuropathy, fatigue, weight loss, etc) was too high for me to give any positive spin to having my cancer. Admittedly we are all unique individuals and this is solely my response to Phil's provocative posting, like you I am trying my best to stay alive and live my life as best I can. Wishing goods results for all.....steve
The price is not too high for me. I have struggled for 2 1/2 years with treatments failing me, unsuccessful surgeries, radiation to the liver (everyday for 5 weeks) and celiac lymph nodes (everyday for 5 weeks), multiple complications that nearly took my life.
I am willing to continue on: to face the fear, pain and ugliness, to have my son's learn these lessons. I will continue to sign up for every study, regardless of the personal cost, in the hopes that they will learn something to save one of my children or someone else.
My life is not too much to give for my children. Like you, JMHO. I respect your opinion, also.
Outwit. Outplay. Outlast.
Kimby0 -
DonnaShayenne said:And thats so true Kimby...
Out of the mouths of babes...you think they don't notice, but they do, and he said it so eloquently! what a babydoll!
My daughter didn't know look I looked at her twitter, and read one of her comments, where she said "Why can't God listen to me, like when I say I wish my moms cancer was gone, and then POOF it goes away!" I thought that was so sweet. But it also makes her on a non-believer in her, thinking he isn't listening to her, and I tell her, he is, because I'm still here.
Hugsss!
~Donna
Your daughter is questioning her faith. That's normal. She is lucky to have you there to support her and remind her of Jesus' love. God is there even if he doesn't always give us the answer we want in the way that we want it. Keep up the good work, Mom!
Outwit. Outplay. Outlast.
Kimby0 -
AnneAnneCan said:WOW! What a fantastic son +
WOW! What a fantastic son + tribute to you. You obviously have done a fabulous job so far of raising your son! You must be so proud! I hope this tough time passes for you quickly + I am really glad you have such great community support. I love your motto "outwit outlast outplay" + remind myself with it frequently.
Yes, I'm very proud of him. Thank you for the kind words. I decided on the "Outwit. Outplay. Outlast." after my onc told me at this point I just need to outlast the cancer. First to quit loses. I'm no quitter!
Kimby0 -
CheyShayenne said:That's true with me as well....
This cancer brought our whole family closer together. They are taking care of me, after all the years I been taking care of me, and my 13 year old always points that out, Cheyenne..she said "Mom, it's our turn to take care of you" and that makes me cry, since the moms are supposed to take care of them, when Im supposed to take care of them, but they want to take care of, and its taking me alot to accept help. I feel half of what I used to be, not being able to do enough.
Hugsss!
~Donna
You're/WE'RE lucky to have her. She's has what I call a "Old Soul". Not many 12 year olds I enjoy talking too. But something is spicial about this kid!!!
Sending my love
Brooks0 -
I don't give cancer credit for anything...
I'm still quite bitter that cancer took away my dad when I was only 23. It robbed my children from having a wonderful grandfather and for them to know him.
I've always known that I've had a great husband, and I know he's even stronger in emotions and spirit than I thought. I have great kids who treat me no different now that I've been diagnosed and I'm grateful for that. My kids' friends are also great sources of friendship and love. Cancer has taken away my peace of mind and thoughts that I'll live to ripe old age. I have a feeling it's going to be a financial struggle to pay the co-pays of my physicians, pathologists, lab work, anesthetists, chemo and scans.
I have a boss who will do anything to make sure I'm alright. Any time off I need, I get.
I have a mom who I know loves me. I have siblings who check up on me frequently to make sure I don't need anything. This hasn't changed since my diagnoses.
I'm much more secure in my spirituality. I give God credit for that. I'm not afraid to die, but don't really want to. I'm selfish and want to spend as much time with my family as I can. I want to see grandkids before I go.
Like JR said, I know how many people actually care about me. I also have a greater appreciation for simpler things in life.
Cancer sucks and always will. Its sucks financial security as well as emotional security right out of us.0 -
Amen sisterADKer said:Cancer has given nothing I could not do without
But there have been some positive changes in my life. Lisa - I have to say that I probably post less than I would otherwise because so many of your posts are so similar to what I might say. I cannot work. Although I feel pretty well, the time demanded for dr appointments and treatment is too great; I worked for myself and it cannot be done part-time. For many years, I struggled with trying to balance work and parenting and I don't believe I did a good job of it. Work probably suffered more but the whole struggle was just very frustrating for me. Fortunately, I also struggled to keep in effect disability insurance that I bought almost 20 years ago so I can not work without dire financial consequences. Not working has relieved a lot of stress and allowed me to feel that I am more available for whatever my teenagers need. They may not appreciate the extra attention, but I do. I also have to say that the stress on me was so great that something had to give. I certainly wish that it had been something less life threatening, or that I had had the fortitude to do whatever was required to destress before being forced to.
The reality is that I will likely not be here for my daughters in the future, and as they struggle with the work/parenthood stress. I would trade in a New York minute any benefit to me for the opportunity to continue to be here for my daughters.
"I would trade in a New York minute any benefit to me for the opportunity to continue to be here for my daughters"
mary0 -
cancer
I am amazed at how mild my side effects were from the chemo I received. I am truly lucky, my husband has been so supportive of me the whole time. I am permanently retired. I have found through my support group a second family. My husband and I travel as we can, we don't put things off.0
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