Has Cancer Been ALL Bad For You?
Have you found something positive that has come out of your cancer diagnosis that you may not have realized if you were not diagnosed with cancer? If so, would you care to share?
I have found that cancer has given me an even greater appreciation for the simpler things in life. The bird chirping, the sunrise/sunset, the way light highlights my wife's face...
Comments
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Up until my husbands diagnosis...
he traveled 10 months out of every year. We had truly been leading separate lives, and when he did come home and attempted to resume his role of "man of the house" there was usually a lot of strain because I had become used to running things. While he was away, we would talk on the phone a few times everyday, but for not more than 10 or 15 minutes. Now that he is home, I realize just how much fun he is, how much I truly love him and want to be with him. We go out together all the time, lay in bed to the wee hours talking about nothing and everything, and I really appreciate what we have. We talked about this subject not to long ago, and I told him that I felt that his illness, in a strange way has given us a new opportunity. We just celebrated our 26 anniversay and we are having the best time of our lives!
Carolyn0 -
Very badzenmonk said:not all bad
I get the feeling someone was trying to get my attention. Now that they have it, I am ready for whats next. Spiritually it has been great!
For Me and even worse for angel thats all i have to say about that.
michelle0 -
Cancer
I cannot say I've enjoyed any of this and I'd gladly wake up from this 'bad dream', but I have been used over and over to bring hope to others. Also, this experience pushed me to find ways to help in our community. Mentoring was the first way I got involved. Now I'm volunteering at a free medical clinic in our poor county. Staffed by and paid for by Christians, the Rapha Clinic sees anyone without insurance. I do some paperwork and help provide goodie bags to give out as the patients leave. I'm making cross bookmarks (needlework) this week to put into the bags. I'm also their 'staff phlebotomist) and am needed almost every Thursday night.0 -
I also have learned todianetavegia said:Cancer
I cannot say I've enjoyed any of this and I'd gladly wake up from this 'bad dream', but I have been used over and over to bring hope to others. Also, this experience pushed me to find ways to help in our community. Mentoring was the first way I got involved. Now I'm volunteering at a free medical clinic in our poor county. Staffed by and paid for by Christians, the Rapha Clinic sees anyone without insurance. I do some paperwork and help provide goodie bags to give out as the patients leave. I'm making cross bookmarks (needlework) this week to put into the bags. I'm also their 'staff phlebotomist) and am needed almost every Thursday night.
I also have learned to appreciate the simple things in life. I have realized that so many things I thought were important my whole life really mean nothing.
I also would like to wake up from this "bad dream" as Diane said. I think about it every day, and lately have been waking up in the middle of the night and worrying about things.
It will be a year next month since my DX with stage IV CC. I feel bad that I am still not operable. I try to focus on being thankful that I have tolerated chemo , am still able to work full time at a job that I love , am able to spend quality time with my 14 year old daughter. We are going skiing today ! We got a foot of snow and do not have school today.
Brenda0 -
I also have learned todianetavegia said:Cancer
I cannot say I've enjoyed any of this and I'd gladly wake up from this 'bad dream', but I have been used over and over to bring hope to others. Also, this experience pushed me to find ways to help in our community. Mentoring was the first way I got involved. Now I'm volunteering at a free medical clinic in our poor county. Staffed by and paid for by Christians, the Rapha Clinic sees anyone without insurance. I do some paperwork and help provide goodie bags to give out as the patients leave. I'm making cross bookmarks (needlework) this week to put into the bags. I'm also their 'staff phlebotomist) and am needed almost every Thursday night.
I also have learned to appreciate the simple things in life. I have realized that so many things I thought were important my whole life really mean nothing.
I also would like to wake up from this "bad dream" as Diane said. I think about it every day, and lately have been waking up in the middle of the night and worrying about things.
It will be a year next month since my DX with stage IV CC. I feel bad that I am still not operable. I try to focus on being thankful that I have tolerated chemo , am still able to work full time at a job that I love , am able to spend quality time with my 14 year old daughter. We are going skiing today ! We got a foot of snow and do not have school today.
Brenda0 -
cancerBrenda3.16 said:I also have learned to
I also have learned to appreciate the simple things in life. I have realized that so many things I thought were important my whole life really mean nothing.
I also would like to wake up from this "bad dream" as Diane said. I think about it every day, and lately have been waking up in the middle of the night and worrying about things.
It will be a year next month since my DX with stage IV CC. I feel bad that I am still not operable. I try to focus on being thankful that I have tolerated chemo , am still able to work full time at a job that I love , am able to spend quality time with my 14 year old daughter. We are going skiing today ! We got a foot of snow and do not have school today.
Brenda
it sucks no matter how you look at it.0 -
You are right Phil, there are positives
Cancer has been a big slap up the side of my head. It did get my attention. I now have no fear of croaking. I still hope I can be out on the tractor disking in a food plot for the deer and other wildlife. Have a quick heart attack with just enough time to reach down to turn the tractor off.
My values have changed. I used to be obsessed with leaving my kids a big pile of cash. Now, not so much.
It has brought my wife of 45 years and I much closer. She has crohns disease, and now I think I have better understanding of what she has gone through and her obsession with bowel movements.
I no longer sweat the small crap in life. As a former drunk I learned the “let go and let God” approach to problems. Now I practice it for real.
Another strange thing is all the poison they have put into me has put my arthritis in remission.
You are right Phil, there are positives. I think I am happier with myself. When you are happy, you treat those around you better.0 -
cancer sucks...
That being said, my wife found out her job was moving to another state the same day I got the cancer diagnosis. Her last day of work was the day before my first chemo/radiation treatment. She has been able to be with me every step of the way and for every appointment. Fortunately I lost my job in Sept. 09. Fortunately? Yup - now we can spend as much time as we want together, doing anything or nothing. While this can't go on forever and we might have to sell the house and move to find work, it is nice to have a best friend there right beside, along for the ride.0 -
A long winded onegeotina said:No
I find absolutely nothing positive with this disease. It sucks the life out of you both physically and financially. Tina
It gets you down to basics. I am reading a book that was posted here about a man who was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer and is still alive 14 years later. Before cancer he was a doctor specializing in brain scan activity in conjunction with human behavior. Needless to say he prided himself on his intellect and clinical position. He said when he became aware of his condition that all of that faded away and he learned to appreciate the simple things in life and suddenly status and money meant nothing. He said there were simple little things about his wife that were attractive that he never took the time to notice before and that the possibility of his own mortality lifted the veil from his eyes.
I feel the exact same way. I feel more of a bond with my fellow man. I`ve found that strangers seem to no longer feel like strangers. I just feel like we are all in the human condition together. It`s funny - I have been diagnosed with a terminal illness but I feel more alive than I ever have. I enjoy things that I previously neglected and take time to notice the simple things. Before I felt like I was just coasting through life and now living seems like it`s own reward. Obviously the goal is to live a lenghty life but the veil has been lifted and no matter what happens, I think quality is more important than quantity. With this peace and my faith I am hopeful, but prepared for whatever comes. I saw an internet blogger who claimed to be a healer and whether she was legitimate or not she stated something that struck a cord with me and made sense. She said in order for your body to heal properly you need to conquer the fear of death.0 -
PhilRickMurtagh said:cancer sucks...
That being said, my wife found out her job was moving to another state the same day I got the cancer diagnosis. Her last day of work was the day before my first chemo/radiation treatment. She has been able to be with me every step of the way and for every appointment. Fortunately I lost my job in Sept. 09. Fortunately? Yup - now we can spend as much time as we want together, doing anything or nothing. While this can't go on forever and we might have to sell the house and move to find work, it is nice to have a best friend there right beside, along for the ride.
Thanks for starting this dicussion. You never fail to get wheels churning and are not afraid to stir things up on occassion but the board would not be the same without you.
Eric0 -
FOR ERICeric38 said:Phil
Thanks for starting this dicussion. You never fail to get wheels churning and are not afraid to stir things up on occassion but the board would not be the same without you.
Eric
Re that faith healer's remark on fear of death:
Check out Hebrews 2:14-15
Sounds like she's got a good point.0 -
Cancer is not good
but the lessons we learn are great. I came face to face with my own mortality and came out of it with a peace that is hard to describe.I know that like a jug of milk I have an expiration date....but it is not today.So I seize this day and lovin' every minute of it.The little nit picky things don't matter anymore.I have pushed them aside and walked away from them. Such stuff like keeping the house immaculate...Ha! When the furrballs from my cats become more like tumbleweeds, then I vacuum.That wasn't the case before. I was OCD but now I realize who really gives a crap about dust and stuff? Also, I have learned to say no to people who are always draining me & my little bit of energy. I have caller ID and I use it!
Cancer is a beast but the beast can be fought and beaten down.
-Pat0 -
I was DX in May so it is
I was DX in May so it is still pretty raw to me, having said that I must admit that money no longer means anything to me. My husband was laid off from a job making a very very high income right before my DX, we went from living large to barely getting by, we sold most of what we own and are now a one car family. It was my daughters birthday last week and she wanted to go eat at a Hibatchi rest. I had to save for this, we went as a family along with her best friend. It was the most enjoyable dinner, so appreciative to be able to get out, and the food was so good. Before we ate out when and wherever we wanted, always taking it totally for granted. Now I see the LITTLE things in life that I overlooked before.We spend time as a family watching cheap movies, and playing tag football to have fun. We don't need to spend money to enjoy life. cancer still sucks in every other way imaginable but it has made me see things differently. Patti0 -
I will never ever give cancer any credit for anything positive..Jaylo969 said:Cancer is not good
but the lessons we learn are great. I came face to face with my own mortality and came out of it with a peace that is hard to describe.I know that like a jug of milk I have an expiration date....but it is not today.So I seize this day and lovin' every minute of it.The little nit picky things don't matter anymore.I have pushed them aside and walked away from them. Such stuff like keeping the house immaculate...Ha! When the furrballs from my cats become more like tumbleweeds, then I vacuum.That wasn't the case before. I was OCD but now I realize who really gives a crap about dust and stuff? Also, I have learned to say no to people who are always draining me & my little bit of energy. I have caller ID and I use it!
Cancer is a beast but the beast can be fought and beaten down.
-Pat
It changed my entire life and after thinking about it has destroyed 2 years of mine and my families life. I think I was fine before and I am fine now, but to give cancer credit for anything is not flyin' here..........Cancer is a POS and will remain that way for me and mine the rest of our lives. It takes without remorse or guilt....0 -
Oh yeah!
Cancer has given me my "voice" to speak up for my needs.
Cancer has given me permission to put myself first when I need to without guilt.
Cancer has given me a focus for my passion for health.
Cancer has given me courage to try new things like triathlons.
Cancer has given me renewed vigor to follow my dreams.
Cancer has given me permission to rid myself of the extraneous that pulls me down be it negative people, activities etc.
Cancer has given me the Semi-Colons!!
peace, emily0 -
What I have learned
I have learned how many people actually care about me. My lovely wife has always been there for me, and even more now. My father comes to visit regularly, where I would only see him a couple of times a year before. My sisters have traveled to see me several times. I found out that I work for one of the most caring and giving bosses on the planet.
I get emotional over almost everything, but thats nothing new. And I to have a greater appreciation for the simpler things. My dog playing, conversations wit my grand kids, etc.
BUT, CANCER STILL BLOWS !!!
John0 -
I am free of a lot of BSJR said:What I have learned
I have learned how many people actually care about me. My lovely wife has always been there for me, and even more now. My father comes to visit regularly, where I would only see him a couple of times a year before. My sisters have traveled to see me several times. I found out that I work for one of the most caring and giving bosses on the planet.
I get emotional over almost everything, but thats nothing new. And I to have a greater appreciation for the simpler things. My dog playing, conversations wit my grand kids, etc.
BUT, CANCER STILL BLOWS !!!
John
I have learned what my husband has been preaching for 30 years, if it doesn't matter, forget it. Live to make you happy and in turn every one will be happy around you. Cancer scared the hell out of me, but I have done everything in my power to not let it take over my body. Thanks to Emily, I take better care of my body and thanks to the Anti Cancer book that Eric mentioned, I know that I am in the right direction. I have always been a doer, and never really rested just kept moving cleaning, ironing, organizing. Now, I move on the treadmill as I read a good book and listen to my IPOD. Work can kiss my >>>>>>.
I am so happy with my life right now and most importantly....with Me.0
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