Brand New & Terrified: HELP!

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  • Eil4186
    Eil4186 Member Posts: 949
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    Marie, I know how scary this
    Marie, I know how scary this is. But believe it or not, eventually you will feel better. We are here for you. Once you get your pathology, and diagnosis, things will start to seem less confusing. Make sure you bring someone w/you to take notes and ask the questions you forget. Stay strong, and you will make it through this.
  • pinkkari09
    pinkkari09 Member Posts: 877
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    Welcome Marie to the site
    Welcome Marie to the site you never wanted to join but will be so thankful you found. It's so shocking when we first find out, I too was in my car with my kids when I got the call. I had to pull over. DX 8-18-09 and just finished chemo, surgery and rads left to go. I know it's hard, but try to stay in today, take it one day at a time, and you will get through this!! Big Hugz
    ~Kari
  • Wolfi
    Wolfi Member Posts: 425
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    Makes sense
    Marie,

    What you say makes complete sense. A diagnosis of breast cancer can throw your whole life into a big spiral and you don't know when it will stop. Some people have made comments that breast cancer is like being on a roller coaster. I don't like roller coasters so I consider my bc experience like a Tilt-A-Whirl (around one way, stop, and spin fast the other way never knowing when the ride will end).

    Push your doctors until you feel comfortable with their treatment plan. Ask questions and don't be afraid of being too pushy - it is YOUR life. I've also heard that bc is more aggressive in younger woman, but I don't have anything to back that up.

    Please call your local ACS and ask them to help you find a support group in Brooklyn. ACS has many helpful ideas and people who are available for you to speak to if you have any questions.

    Stay away from the negative people in your family until you feel strong enough to deal with them. You need to keep your strength up for this journey and you don't need people who make you feel bad.

    Please keep posting here and know that there are many who have been in your shoes who will stand beside you as you go through this part of your life.
  • fauxma
    fauxma Member Posts: 3,577 Member
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    Wolfi said:

    Makes sense
    Marie,

    What you say makes complete sense. A diagnosis of breast cancer can throw your whole life into a big spiral and you don't know when it will stop. Some people have made comments that breast cancer is like being on a roller coaster. I don't like roller coasters so I consider my bc experience like a Tilt-A-Whirl (around one way, stop, and spin fast the other way never knowing when the ride will end).

    Push your doctors until you feel comfortable with their treatment plan. Ask questions and don't be afraid of being too pushy - it is YOUR life. I've also heard that bc is more aggressive in younger woman, but I don't have anything to back that up.

    Please call your local ACS and ask them to help you find a support group in Brooklyn. ACS has many helpful ideas and people who are available for you to speak to if you have any questions.

    Stay away from the negative people in your family until you feel strong enough to deal with them. You need to keep your strength up for this journey and you don't need people who make you feel bad.

    Please keep posting here and know that there are many who have been in your shoes who will stand beside you as you go through this part of your life.

    Marie,
    You have already

    Marie,
    You have already received excellent advice so I will just add, sorry you have to be here but this is an amazing group. Prayers are with you.
    Stef
  • LadyParvati
    LadyParvati Member Posts: 328
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    terri805 said:

    Hi Marie,
    I am new to this site also and you will find great comfort and a wealth of knowledge here. I was in total shock and disbelief when the Dr. called and told me "it doesn't look good" when she received the pathology report for my biopsy Dec 11th, 2009. I was driving home from picking my kids up from school when I received the call and I had to pull over and cry a river. I was terrified and already had myself buried and my kids orphans by the time I got home. I knew nothing about breast cancer at the time other than it could kill me. I felt totally lost and kept saying "what am I going to do" OMG!"this can't be happening I can't deal with this". I had already given up before I knew anything about the cancer I had. My gyn did not have anything to offer me for resources(shocking I know) because she said that she had never had a patient dx with breast cancer.(she has been in practice here
    in CO for 3yrs) and would have to get back with me. I didn't wait for her. I contacted my family doctor and got references immediately and was seen by the surgeon the next day ( 5 days before my gyn had her staff "get back with me".) After I bawled my eyes out when receiving the news I immediately started researching information about the initial findings on the path report and found this site. It has been a God send to me.I have learned so much from the sisters here. After reading and asking questions here I feel a lot more in control and it helps me make decisions,encourages me when I feel down,and gives me a place to come to for comfort and to vent because once the "news shock" to the family calmed down they tend to forget that I am still dealing with something very scary but I know that my sisters here understand and will be there for me to help me through this. Knowledge is powerful so learn all that you can about your particular situation and then you can be better prepared to move forward. Make a list of all your questions as you think of them so that you can ask your dr when you see them. You have come to the right place for support and knowledge. I am just beginning my journey through treatment I have my second surgery to get wider margins on Jan 22 and then I will have radiation and then take Arimidex. I know my sisters here will be by my side throughout. I will pray for you comfort and encouragement as you go through your treatment. Please keep us posted.

    Hugs and best wishes, Terri

    Five Days???
    I don't know about you, but that would make me want to find another gyn . . . unless she is absolutely great in other ways. If the latter is true, then she needs a little education about the terror patients experience while waiting for confirmation/disconfirmation of cancer.

    I hope you aren't offended by my comment--if you really like your gyn and feel I'm being too harsh, please just write it off as my problem, not yours. I apologize if I've offended you.

    Sandy
  • Megan M
    Megan M Member Posts: 3,000
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    welcome you have come to the
    welcome you have come to the right place!!!! (((hugs))) and looking forward to talking to you xoxoxoxo Lisa

    Just want to welcome you to
    Just want to welcome you to the site. We are all here to support and help you.
  • BethInAz
    BethInAz Member Posts: 203 Member
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    We're here for you
    Receiving a breast cancer diagnosis is like getting the air punched out of you. You cry a lot, you take a week to become acclimated to the idea, and then you get busy with research, doctor's appts, and getting yourself the care that's needed for your survival. I live about 190 miles from Phoenix, AZ and got my care through a breast center there who has a team of doctors that "serve the underserved" - those without health insurance. My advice would be to call a breast center in your area and see if they have that type of service to offer. My team of doctors was awesome - leaders in their profession - and it's so cool to think they donate their time for the sake of women's health. Certainly, it's a scary time - but I've found that my faith in the Lord and the prayers of His people have been outstanding and have given me the strength to cope. I now am halfway through my chemotherapy and I'm filled with hope for the future. One book that I found so helpful was Uplift by Barbara Delinsky. It's filled with testimony from women of all ages - from the practical to the precious. It makes you laugh, it makes you cry, it gives you hope. I'm 54 but I've found that cancer is no respecter of persons or age... Please know that you will be in my prayers, Marie. Blessings. Beth
  • sweetvickid
    sweetvickid Member Posts: 459 Member
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    BethInAz said:

    We're here for you
    Receiving a breast cancer diagnosis is like getting the air punched out of you. You cry a lot, you take a week to become acclimated to the idea, and then you get busy with research, doctor's appts, and getting yourself the care that's needed for your survival. I live about 190 miles from Phoenix, AZ and got my care through a breast center there who has a team of doctors that "serve the underserved" - those without health insurance. My advice would be to call a breast center in your area and see if they have that type of service to offer. My team of doctors was awesome - leaders in their profession - and it's so cool to think they donate their time for the sake of women's health. Certainly, it's a scary time - but I've found that my faith in the Lord and the prayers of His people have been outstanding and have given me the strength to cope. I now am halfway through my chemotherapy and I'm filled with hope for the future. One book that I found so helpful was Uplift by Barbara Delinsky. It's filled with testimony from women of all ages - from the practical to the precious. It makes you laugh, it makes you cry, it gives you hope. I'm 54 but I've found that cancer is no respecter of persons or age... Please know that you will be in my prayers, Marie. Blessings. Beth

    The Will of God will never
    The Will of God will never take you
    Where the Grace of God cannot keep you
    Where the Arms of God cannot support you
    Where the Riches of God cannot support your needs
    Where the Power of God cannot endow you.
    The Will of God will never take you
    Where the Spirit of God cannot work through you
    Where the Wisdom of God cannot teach you
    Where the Army of God cannot protect you
    Where the Hands of God cannot mold you.
    The Will of God will never take you
    Where the Love of God cannot enfold you
    Where the Mercies of God cannot sustain you
    Where the Peace of God cannot calm your fears
    Where the Authority of God cannot overrule you.
    The Will of God will never take you
    Where the Comfort of God cannot dry your tears
    Where the Word of God cannot feed you
    Where the Miracles of God cannot be done for you
    Where the omnipresence of God cannot find you.
  • DianeBC
    DianeBC Member Posts: 3,881 Member
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    fauxma said:

    Marie,
    You have already

    Marie,
    You have already received excellent advice so I will just add, sorry you have to be here but this is an amazing group. Prayers are with you.
    Stef

    Very sorry
    I also am so sorry that you are here because of a diagnosis of bc. But, you have found a strong and supportive group of bc survivors that will help you thru your treatment. Sending you hugs and prayers!

    Hugs, Diane ♥
  • DebbyM
    DebbyM Member Posts: 3,289 Member
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    Welcome Marie to the site
    Welcome Marie to the site you never wanted to join but will be so thankful you found. It's so shocking when we first find out, I too was in my car with my kids when I got the call. I had to pull over. DX 8-18-09 and just finished chemo, surgery and rads left to go. I know it's hard, but try to stay in today, take it one day at a time, and you will get through this!! Big Hugz
    ~Kari

    Hi and welcome Marie!
    Hi and welcome Marie! Having bc is scary and we understand. Kari is right, just take it one day at a time. Use us for your support.

    Debby
  • mariam_11_09
    mariam_11_09 Member Posts: 691
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    Hi Marie,
    Welcome to the

    Hi Marie,

    Welcome to the site. I am sorry about your diagnosis however you are really not alone. There are really brilliant, wonderful and supportive women on this site and so much solidarity and so many have been through so much. It is fine to cry, to feel afraid or sad or whatever comes up and it is good to just let it pass through so the strength can flow from within. I have only really just begun my breast cancer journey, just had surgery and have an appointment with the oncologist tomorrow. I am 43 and am her2+ which supposedly is an aggressive form of breast cancer found in mostly younger women.

    I wish you well and hope you find all the support you need.

    Mariam
  • AmandaMarie29
    AmandaMarie29 Member Posts: 55
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    Marie...I am 29 and I was
    Marie...I am 29 and I was diagnosed with breast cancer in November and I had no insurance either. I finally found help through my local health department. The social workers worked with me and they helped me apply for Emergency Breast and Cervical Medicaid. It took about 2 weeks to get approved...but the one the that I had to do to get it was to NOT be working at all. So I don't work now but I am covered completely now, which is way more important than working. I have a wonder family and friends that have helped me out financially to get through this. I know how stressed out you are because the last thing you want to do is worry about how you are going to "pay" for everything. I promise you will be taken care of! Go to your health department and have them help you. You can also talk to your doctor and they can also help you find some grants. If you need anything just let me know since I have been through the same thing as you. Mandi
  • AmandaMarie29
    AmandaMarie29 Member Posts: 55
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    Marie...I am 29 and I was
    Marie...I am 29 and I was diagnosed with breast cancer in November and I had no insurance either. I finally found help through my local health department. The social workers worked with me and they helped me apply for Emergency Breast and Cervical Medicaid. It took about 2 weeks to get approved...but the one the that I had to do to get it was to NOT be working at all. So I don't work now but I am covered completely now, which is way more important than working. I have a wonder family and friends that have helped me out financially to get through this. I know how stressed out you are because the last thing you want to do is worry about how you are going to "pay" for everything. I promise you will be taken care of! Go to your health department and have them help you. You can also talk to your doctor and they can also help you find some grants. If you need anything just let me know since I have been through the same thing as you. Mandi

    If you want to contact me my
    If you want to contact me my email is Qball84@yahoo.com ~Mandi
  • jnl
    jnl Member Posts: 3,869 Member
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    Eil4186 said:

    Marie, I know how scary this
    Marie, I know how scary this is. But believe it or not, eventually you will feel better. We are here for you. Once you get your pathology, and diagnosis, things will start to seem less confusing. Make sure you bring someone w/you to take notes and ask the questions you forget. Stay strong, and you will make it through this.

    Welcome Marie to this great
    Welcome Marie to this great site! Bc is scary, but, you will get thru it. You have all of our support and encouragment to help you.

    Hugs, Leeza
  • LadyParvati
    LadyParvati Member Posts: 328
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    Grammy K said:

    Hello- I too am a new
    Hello- I too am a new member! Go on line to 101cancer.org and request a 10 year planner- Very good inf. Mayo clinic also has good inf as well as this site. Good luck! I have stage 1 but because my grandmother died of breast cancer, my Mother had both breast removed, my sister had breast cancer and now me, I did the BRCA1 BRCA2 testing and should hear soon, Will make a difference so I am told as to what type of surgery to have. Don't let someone tell you to wait- keep insisting till you get help!

    Website?
    I just tried to go to 101cancer.org but got a message saying it couldn't be found. :(

    A 10-year planner sounds good!

    Sandy
  • LadyParvati
    LadyParvati Member Posts: 328
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    Website?
    I just tried to go to 101cancer.org but got a message saying it couldn't be found. :(

    A 10-year planner sounds good!

    Sandy

    Ahh---found it! Reverse 101 & cancer
    It's cancer101.org

    Sandy
  • taleena
    taleena Member Posts: 1,612 Member
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    Oh Marie... I am so sorry
    Oh Marie... I am so sorry for the reason you are here, but so glad you found this board... Okay... RULE #1... no googling allowed.... there is too much stuff out there that is over the top scarey... wrong... misleading... and down right crazy... you've come to the right place... here you will find support, answers to questions, friendship and laughter... and life beyond the dx of the beast.

    Take a deep breath... read here...ask questions here..and know that we are all here to support eachother...

    Cry... let it out..but know that you are not alone. We will be here with you each step of the way.

    ♥ & hugs,
    ~T
  • susie09
    susie09 Member Posts: 2,930
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    taleena said:

    Oh Marie... I am so sorry
    Oh Marie... I am so sorry for the reason you are here, but so glad you found this board... Okay... RULE #1... no googling allowed.... there is too much stuff out there that is over the top scarey... wrong... misleading... and down right crazy... you've come to the right place... here you will find support, answers to questions, friendship and laughter... and life beyond the dx of the beast.

    Take a deep breath... read here...ask questions here..and know that we are all here to support eachother...

    Cry... let it out..but know that you are not alone. We will be here with you each step of the way.

    ♥ & hugs,
    ~T

    Hey Marie! Taleena is
    Hey Marie! Taleena is right. Don't read everything on the www or you will go crazy. This is a great place to get info, and, ofcourse always ask your doctors.

    Sending you peace and hugs!

    ♠♣ Susie ♠♣
  • Carmen Maritza
    Carmen Maritza Member Posts: 1
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    Thank You
    Wow! Thank you all sooooooo much for your words of encouragement, support and suggestions. It seems like I'm part of a family I'd never known before. I will keep looking at the posts & keep posting my progress on here. I am going to Sloan Kettering for some. I did my biopsy there. I started at The Breast Center of Harlem. They've all been very nice and the Radiologist said my surgeon is good. I can apply to Medicaid but I am just worried about the wait time in processing paperwork.
    You are all so strong & so brave. I appreciate all your kindness. I was imagining my death bed right away & trying to hide under a bed or something, like a child hides from a monster! But I know I can do this, tears streaming or not, and it's good to know I have the support of others. I have no husband or very close friends in NYC so it might be tough but I'm trying. And I've already realized that planning too far ahead won't help; I need to take one day at a time. I'm usually a big planner & I live in the future but I guess my life is changing so much right now. Thanks for everything you've all said. Evry post has helped me tremendously!
    Marie

    Hello
    Testing