If it isn't one thing, it's another......

chenheart
chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
Theft Problem - IMPORTANT MESSAGE:
You've heard about people who have been abducted and had their kidneys removed by black-market organ thieves.
My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. I went to sleep and woke up with someone else's thighs. It was just that quick. The replacements had the texture of cooked oatmeal. Whose thighs were these and what happened to mine? I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs. Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans. And then the thieves struck again.
My butt was next. I knew it was the same gang, because they took pains to match my new rear-end to the thighs they had stuck me with earlier. But my new butt was attached at least three inches lower than my original! I realized I'd have to give up my jeans in favor of long skirts.
Two years ago I realized my arms had been switched. One morning I wa s fixing my hair and was horrified to see the flesh of my upper arm swing to and fro with the motion of the hairbrush. This was really getting scary - my body was being replaced one section at a time. What could they do to me next?
When my poor neck suddenly disappeared and was replaced with a turkey neck, I decided to tell my story. Women of the world, wake up and smell the coffee! Those 'plastic' surgeons are using REAL replacement body parts -stolen from you and me! The next time someone you know has something 'lifted', look again - was it lifted from you?
THIS IS NOT A HOAX. This is happening to women everywhere every night.
WARN YOUR FRIENDS!
P.S. Last year I thought some one had stolen my Boobs. I was lying in bed and they were gone! But when I jumped out of bed, I was relieved to see that they had just been hiding in my armpits as I slept. Now I keep them hidden in my waistband.



Hugs and a sigh,
Chen♥
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Comments

  • mizcaldwell
    mizcaldwell Member Posts: 143
    Too Funny!
    Wow - I didn't realize that is what had happened to me, too!!!!

    Thanks for the laugh!

    Lori
  • carkris
    carkris Member Posts: 4,553 Member
    thank you chen I needed that
    thank you chen I needed that laugh!!!!
  • Marlene_K
    Marlene_K Member Posts: 508
    Oh Chen!
    You are sooo witty & clever! I enjoyed reading this so much! I laughed nearly as loud as when I watch America's Funniest Home Videos... that show really gets me going.

    You are such an asset on this site!

    Love, Mar
  • cats_toy
    cats_toy Member Posts: 1,462 Member
    Ladies, take Chen's story seriously
    I actually got a young woman's breasts and tummy, and I know my old ones had to have gone somewhere....

    Cat
  • RE
    RE Member Posts: 4,591 Member
    OH MY MY MY!


    Oh Chen too funny, however I have decided that after what we have all been through we can Proudly display our thighs, buttocks, hips and whatever else we wish to swish! How did that old saying go..... "YOU LOOK MARVELOUS!


    RE
  • LadyParvati
    LadyParvati Member Posts: 328
    OMG--ROFLMAO!!!
    I'm struggling to be quiet so I don't wake my DH sleeping in the bedroom not so far away! Chen, where do you come up with your ideas??! You are so creative and wonderful!

    Thank you soooo much for the laughter!

    Love, Sandy
  • Lynda53
    Lynda53 Member Posts: 210
    Nice early am laugh
    Thanks

    ps:I am working on getting my originals back.
    legs,butt,arms,neck and whatever else they took.
    "working on"= as soon as I have time!
    Lose 5 pounds gain 10 from roids, or maybe the holiday cookies!I can't help if they were the only things that tasted good! My caregiver is sick and is nt up to cooking either.
  • tommaseena
    tommaseena Member Posts: 1,769
    Lynda53 said:

    Nice early am laugh
    Thanks

    ps:I am working on getting my originals back.
    legs,butt,arms,neck and whatever else they took.
    "working on"= as soon as I have time!
    Lose 5 pounds gain 10 from roids, or maybe the holiday cookies!I can't help if they were the only things that tasted good! My caregiver is sick and is nt up to cooking either.

    Thank god no one was home
    Thank god no one was home except for me--I was laughing so hard my cheeks(on my face) hurt.

    Thanks Chen for the laugh.

    Margo
  • Jadie
    Jadie Member Posts: 723
    Chen!
    These women are not taking you serious! They are laughing. Sisters please take Chen serious. I now have 2 bellies and 2 arses.

    Hugs
    Jadie<3
  • Marcia527
    Marcia527 Member Posts: 2,729
    Jadie said:

    Chen!
    These women are not taking you serious! They are laughing. Sisters please take Chen serious. I now have 2 bellies and 2 arses.

    Hugs
    Jadie<3</p>

    You have heard about how
    You have heard about how they are growing new parts for the body to be removed later and reattached. I think I've got multiple bellies also. Doesn't a cow have four stomachs?
  • taleena
    taleena Member Posts: 1,612 Member
    Oh my... *sighs*... I think
    Oh my... *sighs*... I think I was hit by these theives myself... I will have to change the locks on the door and reinforce my windows... they so far have stolen my thighs and rear... your telling me that they are coming back for my arms and neck... maybe an attack dog will work!

    Thanks for the Sunday morning giggle.

    Hugs,

    ~T
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    Jadie said:

    Chen!
    These women are not taking you serious! They are laughing. Sisters please take Chen serious. I now have 2 bellies and 2 arses.

    Hugs
    Jadie<3</p>

    I don't know why they are laughing either!
    I realize that as well, Julia~ this is serious ! LOL Thank you for posting your actual picture so the ladies can see just what I'm warning them about! I won't even start to talk about the hair....except to say it is not in the places it should be, and is sprouting up in OMG places it shouldn't!

    Hugs,
    Chen♥
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    cats_toy said:

    Ladies, take Chen's story seriously
    I actually got a young woman's breasts and tummy, and I know my old ones had to have gone somewhere....

    Cat

    Thanks for literally
    Thanks for literally everything, Cat~ those old parts that you lost? I found them....and wouldn't you know it? They LOVE me and won't leave again!

    Hugs,
    Chen♥

    P.S. I thought foolishly that I could LMAO~nope! I looked behind me, and the behind was still behind me.
  • ppurdin
    ppurdin Member Posts: 1,181
    Two funny.
    Thanks Chen,I needed that today.So all this time I didn,t know what happened.Now I know.Love and Prayers.(Pat).
  • creampuff91344
    creampuff91344 Member Posts: 988
    ppurdin said:

    Two funny.
    Thanks Chen,I needed that today.So all this time I didn,t know what happened.Now I know.Love and Prayers.(Pat).

    Chen, you have made my day.
    Chen, you have made my day. I haven't laughed that much in many weeks. Come to think of it, I think my arms and neck were the first to go....I'm on the lookout for the butt and thigh thief. Hugs.

    Judy
  • marilyndbk
    marilyndbk Member Posts: 238 Member
    Thanks for the reminder that
    Thanks for the reminder that laughter really is the best medicine. Take care. Marilyn
  • Lynda53
    Lynda53 Member Posts: 210
    taleena said:

    Oh my... *sighs*... I think
    Oh my... *sighs*... I think I was hit by these theives myself... I will have to change the locks on the door and reinforce my windows... they so far have stolen my thighs and rear... your telling me that they are coming back for my arms and neck... maybe an attack dog will work!

    Thanks for the Sunday morning giggle.

    Hugs,

    ~T

    wow still Saturday,I'll read and laugh
    again tomorrow
    Peace
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    I am laughing sooooo hard!!!
    AND....I saw the DVD of your signature movie today at a swap meet....

    It is a different format here in The Netherlands, otherwise I would have bought it for you...do you have a watchable copy?????

    BIG hugs, Kathi
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    KathiM said:

    I am laughing sooooo hard!!!
    AND....I saw the DVD of your signature movie today at a swap meet....

    It is a different format here in The Netherlands, otherwise I would have bought it for you...do you have a watchable copy?????

    BIG hugs, Kathi

    I do have a copy~ but bless
    I do have a copy~ but bless your heart for thinking about me when you saw one! That is actually nicer than buying it...I love being thought of! Thanks so much!

    Hugs,
    Chen♥
  • m_azingrace
    m_azingrace Member Posts: 399
    chenheart said:

    I do have a copy~ but bless
    I do have a copy~ but bless your heart for thinking about me when you saw one! That is actually nicer than buying it...I love being thought of! Thanks so much!

    Hugs,
    Chen♥

    I laughed til I peed!
    And that's when I realized that a clever theif probably stole my bladder and left me with her weak one! Does 60 minutes know about this?