I don't understand why I am feeling this way!

Gloria09

Cher2063 said:

I understand
Gloria,
I'm right there with you. This is scary. This is real. Never be ashamed. our lives have been altered. Fear is natural and does make us crabby. I have noticed this with myself. Venting is good. go with it. each day and moment is different-- go with moment by moment and be as kind to yourself as you can. You are very brave and it gets lonely sometimes.

Cher
Thank you.! Those first two words "I understand" are very comforting!

Gloria09

susie09 said:

You are normal
Don't beat yourself up Gloria for having emotions. We all have been there. Let yourself vent here and hopefully that will help you somewhat. If you need meds, please call your oncologist and talk to him about antidepressants or nerve/anxiety pills. Hope you got some rest and feel better today.

♠♣ Susie ♠♣

Susie
I did get some rest ... thank you. It does help to vent but it helps even more to reply to the beautiful and sometimes funny comments. I'm not at the point of needing meds yet but I will keep that in mind. ((Hugs))

Gloria09

CypressCynthia said:

hypothyroidism
OK, I have Hashimoto's thyroiditis as well as cancer, so I am probably overcautious here, but when I read "tired and constipated" together, hypothyroidism is what I immediately think. If your symptoms persist, please have your doc run a simple TSH blood test.

CC & Lynn
I have hypo thyroid as well. Have been taking meds for that for 10 years now. I still have the dry skin all year round but other symptoms seem to be under control most of the time. Just had the annual test and we upped the meds a bit. This is only the second time we've changed them in the 10 year period.

Hope your thyroid is under control too.

Gloria09

Rague said:

Blame the weather!
Do you by any chance live in any of the vast areas that have been dumped on by the recent ice storms/ice fog and blizzards? The weather can (and will) definately 'sock it' you! Also remember that the shortest day of the year was a week ago yesterday so now the sunlight will be getting longer.

Rague
Thought we were getting more snow on top of the 2+ feet already on the ground but it was just a light dusting. Let it snow! Let it snow! Let it snow!

marilyndbk

So many true things have
So many true things have already been stated, Sometimes it has helped me just to know that some of what I am feeling is normal. I just wanted to let you know I was thinking of all of us on this journey and wish everyone a Happy Healthy Peaceful New Year. Take care. Marilyn

dmc_emmy

marilyndbk said:

So many true things have
So many true things have already been stated, Sometimes it has helped me just to know that some of what I am feeling is normal. I just wanted to let you know I was thinking of all of us on this journey and wish everyone a Happy Healthy Peaceful New Year. Take care. Marilyn

Gloria...
I've not chatted with you before today, so I first send you a warm Welcome to the warmest place to be...even in the middle of winter in the cold North-Central states...brrr!

BC stinks! It doesn't matter what type or what stage, because when you hear the words, "You have breast cancer," it is the most devastating moment in a woman's life.

At first, you're in shock and disbelief, then you grieve for yourself and your loved ones, and finally, when the anger comes, you know you're normal because you are going through the normal stages of loss. For all of us, we have been through exactly what you are going through right now. There may be times that you seem to go through a "recycling" period and you go through the emotions all over again. That's okay!

Some of the ladies on this site have turned to meds to help them cope, others (such as myself) went out and rescued a dog who then became a constant and unconditionally loving friend and companion. Some find other ways to cope, such as: volunteering; indulging in something that is totally self-aborbant and feeling good about it; and some turn to faith and prayer,...but, regardless of how we decide to cope with this journey that we were forced to take, we are all came to this one place for the same reason---compassion and understanding.

You are one of us Gloria and that should give you some sense of comfort, even in those times when you are beyond sadness and anger. We will never let you walk alone.

dmc

Gloria09

marilyndbk said:

So many true things have
So many true things have already been stated, Sometimes it has helped me just to know that some of what I am feeling is normal. I just wanted to let you know I was thinking of all of us on this journey and wish everyone a Happy Healthy Peaceful New Year. Take care. Marilyn

marilyn
Thank you Marilyn! It's always a good feeling to know that we still fit into the "normal feeling" catagory

Happy New Year to you too!

Gloria09

dmc_emmy said:

Gloria...
I've not chatted with you before today, so I first send you a warm Welcome to the warmest place to be...even in the middle of winter in the cold North-Central states...brrr!

BC stinks! It doesn't matter what type or what stage, because when you hear the words, "You have breast cancer," it is the most devastating moment in a woman's life.

At first, you're in shock and disbelief, then you grieve for yourself and your loved ones, and finally, when the anger comes, you know you're normal because you are going through the normal stages of loss. For all of us, we have been through exactly what you are going through right now. There may be times that you seem to go through a "recycling" period and you go through the emotions all over again. That's okay!

Some of the ladies on this site have turned to meds to help them cope, others (such as myself) went out and rescued a dog who then became a constant and unconditionally loving friend and companion. Some find other ways to cope, such as: volunteering; indulging in something that is totally self-aborbant and feeling good about it; and some turn to faith and prayer,...but, regardless of how we decide to cope with this journey that we were forced to take, we are all came to this one place for the same reason---compassion and understanding.

You are one of us Gloria and that should give you some sense of comfort, even in those times when you are beyond sadness and anger. We will never let you walk alone.

dmc

dmc
I am doing much better and it's mainly from the comforting and reassuring words from everyone here. I know we were all newbies at one time and I hope to get the chance to help those who come in behind me just as you all have helped me. I like your last sentence ... we will never let you walk alone! That really is so nice to hear. Thank you.

Happy New Year!

dmc_emmy

Gloria09 said:

dmc
I am doing much better and it's mainly from the comforting and reassuring words from everyone here. I know we were all newbies at one time and I hope to get the chance to help those who come in behind me just as you all have helped me. I like your last sentence ... we will never let you walk alone! That really is so nice to hear. Thank you.

Happy New Year!

Gloria--
you're more than welcome and I'm glad you're doing much better.

Hope you're seeing the new year in with a smile. Speaking of that, the adorable little girl in your pix, is she a daughter or grandchild? Either way, she has a very pretty smile. Perhaps we should be more like the little children, before the trials of life got in the way, and remember how to smile (it takes less muscles, I'm told anyway, than a frown).

On that note, I'm going to watch another romantic drama (the last of the three dramas I rented from the video store). I thought 3 for $3 was a rather good deal and laying around with my pup was a whole lot safer than going out. My popcorn and hersey bar supper were quite good as well.

Ah, only 13 more minutes before 2010, I better go turn on the TV to watch the ball drop--must keep with tradition, yes? The final video will have to wait until after the countdown, then, I suppose, I should consume something a bit more nutritious than popcorn and a candy bar--ummm, maybe a PBJ and a glass of hot cocoa.

Goodnight my friend and remember to smile.
dmc

jbug

Gloria09 said:

Julie
I can relate to your feelings too. I do feel so much better from not only hearing the responses but also by responding to each one individually. To show I really care about you all like you care about me. Thank you.

I will have a cat scan on Monday then first rad appointment the following week. How are your rad appointments going?

Hugs!

Hi Gloria
Aren't these women awesome?! The love and support is palpable!

Rads are going well. I've finished 18/30, over half way and on the downhill slide! The appts are very fast...almost takes longer to get half naked than it does to get zapped. Pink skin and a tender nipple...the techs tell me they have seen much worse, so I'm grateful. Even though going thru rads over the holidays wouldn't be my first choice , i think i benefited from a couple of 3-day breaks for Christmas and New Years. Fatigue set it much earlier than anticipated...doesn't happen to all and I was hoping that would not hit me...cause...well, like everyone else I have a life! I just don't have time to lay down in the middle of the day! Ah well, doing it because it has to be done.

Haven't worn a bra since week 2 of treatments! Big loose sweatshirts and denim shirts are my best friends. Fortunately the 'girls' (1 and 3/4 now;-), aren't huge and I can manage fine. A bit awkward in CHURCH!

The rad staff will give you some specific lotions to use...use them frequently, except you won't be able to use them 4 hrs before treatment. It's amazing what will soon become routine for you.

Let me know how things are going, holler if you have questions.

God Bless...Julie