Back on line but with sad news

lovelylola
lovelylola Member Posts: 279
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
No more sneaking to read and post from my office computer or going to my kid's houses and just to use their internet and not visiting. It's going to take me awhile to catch completely up.

I want to thank those of you who kept me in your prayers the past couple weeks. My wonderful, compassionate father lost his battle with cancer yesterday. He is now free of pain and reunited with the love of his life - my mother along with his parents and my older son and is joyful in his life eternal with the Lord. His passing was peaceful and my youngest brother and sister were with him. My sister said that right before the end his breathing slowed way down, a calm look came over his face and his eyes were open, focused on the ceiling. I believe he saw the angels coming and was ready to go.

I have talked with all my siblings and even though I could reschedule Thursday's chemo for next week and my WBC as of a week ago was good, they are encouraging me to stay home. As my sister put it "dad knows how hard you are fighting this and wouldn't want you to jeopardize your health". The memorial service is Sunday afternoon and I am writing something for my oldest brother to read for me.

My work, by my contract, has to give me 3 days bereavement leave, whether or not I go, so I'm starting it tomorrow. It will allow me to save some of my vacation and sick leave for that last round of chemo in Jan.

While I grieve for the loss of him physically, I know he is always with me. He is where he wanted to be - with mom.

Christmas blessings to all my sisters in pink.

Lola
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Comments

  • lynn1950
    lynn1950 Member Posts: 2,570
    Lola, So sorry for the loss
    Lola, So sorry for the loss of your dad. Your loving tribute here speaks volumes about the relationship that the two of you shared and that lives on in you. Please take good care of yourself. Lynn
  • shortscake
    shortscake Member Posts: 228
    so sorry
    I am so sorry to read the news about your father, just know that him and your mother always with you.
  • mizcaldwell
    mizcaldwell Member Posts: 143
    I'm so sorry!
    Oh Lola -

    It is so hard when you lose a parent. I lost Mom two years ago - almost three - and it's hard. But you are right, he is in a better place - and he knows how you feel. Please know that I am continuing to pray for you to feel comforted at this time. I'm glad you have some extra time to deal with your feelings.

    Sending hugs and positive vibes your way. God bless you.

    Lori
  • Kylez
    Kylez Member Posts: 3,761 Member

    I'm so sorry!
    Oh Lola -

    It is so hard when you lose a parent. I lost Mom two years ago - almost three - and it's hard. But you are right, he is in a better place - and he knows how you feel. Please know that I am continuing to pray for you to feel comforted at this time. I'm glad you have some extra time to deal with your feelings.

    Sending hugs and positive vibes your way. God bless you.

    Lori

    I am so sorry
    You have my deepest sympathy Lola.

    KYLEZ ♥
  • Mama G
    Mama G Member Posts: 762

    I'm so sorry!
    Oh Lola -

    It is so hard when you lose a parent. I lost Mom two years ago - almost three - and it's hard. But you are right, he is in a better place - and he knows how you feel. Please know that I am continuing to pray for you to feel comforted at this time. I'm glad you have some extra time to deal with your feelings.

    Sending hugs and positive vibes your way. God bless you.

    Lori

    I'm so sorry....
    I just lost my 58 year old sister on Dec 14th and she also joins our parents and our brother Micheal who died at the age of 21 of cancer in 1985. So, Yes, they are all together and in a better place, but we are left to mourn and deal with this during the Christmas holiday. Just watch for little messages she sends to you, I'm already getting some from DianE!!!! God bless, Lola. My prayers are with you.
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    I'm sorry, Lola...sending hugs...
    This poem got me thru the death of my daughter...

    I'm Free

    Don't grieve for me, for now I'm free
    I'm following the path God laid for me
    I took his hand when I heard His call
    I turned my back and left it all.

    I could not stay another day
    To laugh, to love, to work, or play
    Tasks left undone must stay that way
    I've found that peace at the close of the day.

    If my parting has left a void
    Then fill it with remembered joy
    A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss
    Ah, yes, these things I too will miss.

    Be not burdened with times of sorrow
    I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow
    My life's been full I savored much
    Good friends, good times, a loved one's touch.

    Perhaps my time seemed all too brief
    Don't lenghten it now with undue grief.
    Lift up your heart and share with me
    God wanted me now, He set me FREE.

    Hugs to you, sweet soul.....Kathi
  • fauxma
    fauxma Member Posts: 3,577 Member
    Lola,
    I am so sorry for

    Lola,

    I am so sorry for your loss but I know you were prepared or as prepared as we can ever be. And it is good that you are staying home and taking care of your health. Your dad would want that for you. His spirit is whereever you are.
    Stef
  • roseann4
    roseann4 Member Posts: 992 Member
    Lola, I'm so sorry.
    Dear Lola,

    Your post brought tears to my eyes as I remembered when my dad passed away over 10 years ago of cancer. I understand what your brother meant by the "peaceful look". Unfortunately, not everyone dies peacefully but it is a true blessing when it happens. My dad had been in a deep sleep for many hours and just before death he opened his eyes and looked at us with pure love like I had never seen before. It is impossible to explain. He was an old world Italian man who did not have an easy time showing love until then and no words were necessary. I can remember the look as if it happened yesterday. We knew he was going to be fine as he passed on to be with his many loved ones who passed before him. It was a blessing that I carry with me every day.

    I'm glad your father's painful journey is over and hope your holidays will be filled with beautiful memories of his life with you. Hugs to you and your family.

    Roseann
  • natly15
    natly15 Member Posts: 1,941
    Sending condolences. May God
    Sending condolences. May God bless you and your family as you go thru this sad but joyous time know ing your father has finally defeated this disease and is now joined by his loved ones who live in heavenly realms.
  • MyTurnNow
    MyTurnNow Member Posts: 2,686 Member
    Lola, your tribute to your
    Lola, your tribute to your dad was lovely. I'm sending my condolences your way. Wishing you a peaceful holiday season!! (((Hugs)))
  • creampuff91344
    creampuff91344 Member Posts: 988
    MyTurnNow said:

    Lola, your tribute to your
    Lola, your tribute to your dad was lovely. I'm sending my condolences your way. Wishing you a peaceful holiday season!! (((Hugs)))

    My dear Lola, what a tragic
    My dear Lola, what a tragic loss for you in the passing of your father. He is at peace, and is now in th ehands of God. We all are grieving with you, and send loving hugs to you at this trying time in your life. I will have you in my prayers.

    Hugs.

    Judy
  • helen e
    helen e Member Posts: 223
    I'm sorry
    Lola,

    I'm so sorry to hear about your dad, it is never easy to lose someone. I'm sure that God is holding you in the palm of his hand right now. Now that your parents are together again you can be sure that they will put all they have into getting you healthy and making sure you stay that way. Your are in my prayers this Christmas season. Enjoy the season with your kids.

    Helen
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    Sweet Sweet Lola~
    More than

    Sweet Sweet Lola~

    More than most, I think your sisters here on the boards understand the heartache you are experiencing. I am reminded of our dear Pitt, who recently lost her mama , and of course Creampuff's sweet great-grandbaby Casey. :-( While we are doing battle with the beast, fighting and grieving our own emotional ups and downs...the loss of someone near and dear to us wrenches our very souls.

    Physically you may not be with your dad at his service, but you are forver tied with heart strings.He understood the importance of keeping your treatment schedule while your WBC is up and working in your favor. You honor your father by continuing the fight and conquering what he sadly was not able to.

    Peace and all sweet, nurturing memories to help you though this sad time, and to keep you comforted as you finish your treatment.

    We love you, Lola!

    Hugs,
    Chen♥
  • carkris
    carkris Member Posts: 4,553 Member
    chenheart said:

    Sweet Sweet Lola~
    More than

    Sweet Sweet Lola~

    More than most, I think your sisters here on the boards understand the heartache you are experiencing. I am reminded of our dear Pitt, who recently lost her mama , and of course Creampuff's sweet great-grandbaby Casey. :-( While we are doing battle with the beast, fighting and grieving our own emotional ups and downs...the loss of someone near and dear to us wrenches our very souls.

    Physically you may not be with your dad at his service, but you are forver tied with heart strings.He understood the importance of keeping your treatment schedule while your WBC is up and working in your favor. You honor your father by continuing the fight and conquering what he sadly was not able to.

    Peace and all sweet, nurturing memories to help you though this sad time, and to keep you comforted as you finish your treatment.

    We love you, Lola!

    Hugs,
    Chen♥

    I am so sorry that you lost
    I am so sorry that you lost your dad. Seems so many people have lost dear ones this holiday season. The connection you have goes beyond the service, and you know how we love our kids, he would want you to do the best thing for your health. Above all. I have a dear friend who died of sarcoma 2 years ago, ipicture her on a great adventure (that was how she was) and now your dad is with your mom.
  • Maize
    Maize Member Posts: 76
    Peace
    Lola, I am sorry to hear about your loss, but happy for your understanding. This will get you through these difficult times. May God's blessing continue to envelop you. My prayers are with you.

    Maize
  • Jeanne D
    Jeanne D Member Posts: 1,867
    Maize said:

    Peace
    Lola, I am sorry to hear about your loss, but happy for your understanding. This will get you through these difficult times. May God's blessing continue to envelop you. My prayers are with you.

    Maize

    Lola ♥
    You have my deepest sympathy for the loss of your Father.

    Love, Jeanne ♥
  • padee6339
    padee6339 Member Posts: 763
    Hi Lola
    I am so sorry for your loss. I see that you are hurting, but your loving thoughts and memories of him will help you through this, as will your family. He fought the good fight and is at peace now, spending Christmas with his lovely wife and grandson. God Bless all of you during this time.
    Hugs - Pat
  • newbiefromcananda
    newbiefromcananda Member Posts: 234
    so sorry to hear Lola.. my
    so sorry to hear Lola.. my thoughts are with you xoxoxo Lisa
  • Christmas Girl
    Christmas Girl Member Posts: 3,682 Member
    Heartfelt condolences, Lola...
    For the passing of your beloved father. As Claudia so eloquently wrote, as she always does, this loss we all feel down to the very depths of our souls. The cancer experience unites us. So, your dear father was truly "one of us"...

    Kind regards,
    Susan
  • mmontero38
    mmontero38 Member Posts: 1,510
    Dear Lola: So sorry for the
    Dear Lola: So sorry for the loss of your father. Your beautiful tribute speaks volumes of the love you and your siblings had for him. May he now be at peace and in the loving arms of your mom. Love, Lili