Holiday eating tips

Jadie
Jadie Member Posts: 723
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Holiday spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It's rare.. You cannot find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Holiday party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do.. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner. Remember this motto to live by:

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate and wine in one hand, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"

Have a Merry Christmas & a great holiday season!! Jadie<3
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Comments

  • MyTurnNow
    MyTurnNow Member Posts: 2,686 Member
    I loved this. These are my
    I loved this. These are my new guidelines for this holiday season!! LOL. Thanks.
  • DianeBC
    DianeBC Member Posts: 3,881 Member
    MyTurnNow said:

    I loved this. These are my
    I loved this. These are my new guidelines for this holiday season!! LOL. Thanks.

    Ha!
    Jadie, these are so funny! Thanks!

    Hugs, Diane ♥
  • taleena
    taleena Member Posts: 1,612 Member
    Oh Jadie... I love it...
    Oh Jadie... I love it... thank you ... I needed the reminder to "enjoy"...

    ♥ & hugs,

    ~T
  • RE
    RE Member Posts: 4,591 Member
    LOVED IT!
    Thank you for the great tips, I shall do my darnedest to abide by them!

    RE
  • natly15
    natly15 Member Posts: 1,941
    Jadie now you are a gal
    Jadie now you are a gal after my own heart. woo Hoo I say yes, yes and more yes to all the suggestions. I only wish my stomach could handle all those things this season, well I guess I wont worry too much about weight gain thru this holiday season.
  • Ritzy
    Ritzy Member Posts: 4,381 Member
    natly15 said:

    Jadie now you are a gal
    Jadie now you are a gal after my own heart. woo Hoo I say yes, yes and more yes to all the suggestions. I only wish my stomach could handle all those things this season, well I guess I wont worry too much about weight gain thru this holiday season.

    Jadie :)
    I love these! Who worries about weight gaining during the holidays? NOT ME! lol

    Happy Holidays everyone!


    Sue :)
  • teresa41
    teresa41 Member Posts: 471
    Ritzy said:

    Jadie :)
    I love these! Who worries about weight gaining during the holidays? NOT ME! lol

    Happy Holidays everyone!


    Sue :)

    funny
    that is funny think i will try it..


    teresa
  • fauxma
    fauxma Member Posts: 3,577 Member
    teresa41 said:

    funny
    that is funny think i will try it..


    teresa

    Best darn guidelines I have
    Best darn guidelines I have seen in ages. Words to live by.
    Stef
  • cindycflynn
    cindycflynn Member Posts: 1,132 Member
    These are great!
    Thanks, Jadie!

    (Taking copious notes and getting ready to go to the store to stock up on Egg Nog and gravy!)

    BTW - for those of you ladies in So Cal - If you haven't ever tried the Broguiere's Egg Nog (comes from a local dairy, but my local Vons Pavilions has it) you MUST try some. Be warned that it will spoil you for Egg Nog for the rest of your life - so rich and creamy!!!!

    Hope everyone can enjoy at least a bit of holiday cheer whether in the form of food, or just being with loved ones and relaxing!
  • mimivac
    mimivac Member Posts: 2,143
    LOL, Jadie
    I LOVE this. And here I clicked on this expecting to read how I can get through the season without gaining 10 pounds! I actually do every single one of those things during the holidays, so I'm an expert already.

    PS. Cindy, where can I find this Broguiere's Egg Nog?! I live in DC. Can I order it online? Sounds delish.

    Mimi
  • jnl
    jnl Member Posts: 3,869 Member
    mimivac said:

    LOL, Jadie
    I LOVE this. And here I clicked on this expecting to read how I can get through the season without gaining 10 pounds! I actually do every single one of those things during the holidays, so I'm an expert already.

    PS. Cindy, where can I find this Broguiere's Egg Nog?! I live in DC. Can I order it online? Sounds delish.

    Mimi

    LMAO @ Jadie!
    I especially love #5 because we do that! What is wrong with us?

    Thanks Jadie for the laughter!


    Hugs, Leeza
  • cindycflynn
    cindycflynn Member Posts: 1,132 Member
    mimivac said:

    LOL, Jadie
    I LOVE this. And here I clicked on this expecting to read how I can get through the season without gaining 10 pounds! I actually do every single one of those things during the holidays, so I'm an expert already.

    PS. Cindy, where can I find this Broguiere's Egg Nog?! I live in DC. Can I order it online? Sounds delish.

    Mimi

    Mimi
    Unfortunately, they don't deliver, so you'll need to plan a vacation here to try some! You can only get the Egg Nog from around late October to early January, but they also have chocolate milk year-round that is to die for!

    The dairy is in Montebello, but some local markets will carry it also.

    It's worth the trip - and you can stop by Disneyland while you're here!
  • TraciInLA
    TraciInLA Member Posts: 1,994 Member

    Mimi
    Unfortunately, they don't deliver, so you'll need to plan a vacation here to try some! You can only get the Egg Nog from around late October to early January, but they also have chocolate milk year-round that is to die for!

    The dairy is in Montebello, but some local markets will carry it also.

    It's worth the trip - and you can stop by Disneyland while you're here!

    So now I have 2 problems:
    1. My girlfriend has put me in charge of appetizers before Christmas dinner, and she specifically asked me to include carrot sticks on the relish tray -- does this mean I have to leave my girlfriend? Maybe there's some sort of relish-related couples counseling we can go to?

    2. I shop at Vons in SoCal, but I've never seen or heard of Broguiere's eggnog. My doctor has just taken me out of work for a few weeks of disability leave, and I can hear the conversation now: "So Traci, have you been taking it easy?" "No, Dr. Song -- I've been driving all over town hunting down Cindy's gourmet eggnog!"

    :-) Traci
  • Noel
    Noel Member Posts: 3,095 Member
    TraciInLA said:

    So now I have 2 problems:
    1. My girlfriend has put me in charge of appetizers before Christmas dinner, and she specifically asked me to include carrot sticks on the relish tray -- does this mean I have to leave my girlfriend? Maybe there's some sort of relish-related couples counseling we can go to?

    2. I shop at Vons in SoCal, but I've never seen or heard of Broguiere's eggnog. My doctor has just taken me out of work for a few weeks of disability leave, and I can hear the conversation now: "So Traci, have you been taking it easy?" "No, Dr. Song -- I've been driving all over town hunting down Cindy's gourmet eggnog!"

    :-) Traci

    Jadie ☻
    These are great!! I am printing them off and emailing them to everyone! This is something I want to keep for every Christmas from here on out and pass around. Thanks Jadie!


    ♥ Noel
  • Jadie
    Jadie Member Posts: 723
    Noel said:

    Jadie ☻
    These are great!! I am printing them off and emailing them to everyone! This is something I want to keep for every Christmas from here on out and pass around. Thanks Jadie!


    ♥ Noel

    Ahhhhhhhh
    you are welcome. Glad to share and glad everyone is enjoying it. I just loved it and had to share.
  • Alexis F
    Alexis F Member Posts: 3,598
    Jadie said:

    Ahhhhhhhh
    you are welcome. Glad to share and glad everyone is enjoying it. I just loved it and had to share.

    Thanks Jadie!
    Jadie, thank you! I love these too! Thanks for posting them for us! And, I love your Christmas tree and ornament!

    Lex♥
  • tommaseena
    tommaseena Member Posts: 1,769
    Alexis F said:

    Thanks Jadie!
    Jadie, thank you! I love these too! Thanks for posting them for us! And, I love your Christmas tree and ornament!

    Lex♥

    Jadie
    Jadie,
    I love them all.

    Thank you so much.

    Margo
  • LC815
    LC815 Member Posts: 155
    "Life should NOT be a
    "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate and wine in one hand, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"

    This is the most beautiful motto I have ever read. I'm going to make a coat of arms for myself and get someone to translate this in Latin for me.

    I LOVE IT!!
  • Sher43009
    Sher43009 Member Posts: 602 Member
    I loved it...words to live
    I loved it...words to live by. Thanks
  • Sunrae
    Sunrae Member Posts: 808
    Sher43009 said:

    I loved it...words to live
    I loved it...words to live by. Thanks

    Love this post and all the
    Love this post and all the food tips. Whoever came up with this must have followed me around at a party. (Hope they didn't take pics.) My sister and I have this motto, "eat dessert first and if you're still hungry have dinner". Works for us. Don't we all want to skid into our final moments, and hollering "Woooooooooho, what a ride". LOL