I am struggling

carkris
carkris Member Posts: 4,553 Member
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
I dont feel like the beacon of light here and I am sorry. I want to be helpful and I feel like I just need support. I have just struggled with mostly diahrea or mixed frequent stooling. It irritates to alarge degree a rectal fissure that got really bad with AC because I had constipation and diahrea I was even in the hospital for 3 days with dehydration. They just shook their heads and said diahrea is not common with AC. For me it was and like clockwork. after 2 botox to the fissure it got better but starting taxol, I have the diahrea and I am basically in my room. because I have to apply ointments and such and take baths 3 times a day. at least. On top of that I am getting fevers in the afternoon to evening I take a motrin and am better but feel lousy with the fever until. I have to wait to take anything because I need to get some kind of idea how high the fever will go. Docs are puzzled. Sometimes Ihave to take pain medication because my bottom is so sore I cant stand it. My doc sent me an email that said we will just have to see how this all works out when we are done. 9 more treatments. I have seen a GI doc. a surgeon, and I called a dietician. (who helped) I am so frustrated because I have had to muddle through this . and be sick. and now my daughter is coming home for TG and i am so excited until I realize I 'm pretty useless. The docs have never heard of the claritin for bone pain after neulasta. I feel like because my symptoms are not typical they dont know what to do with me. I am so frustrated, is this normal? All I've heard is how people work do well, did I fail am I flunking chemo?????
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Comments

  • Marcia527
    Marcia527 Member Posts: 2,729
    Everybody reacts differently
    Everybody reacts differently to chemo. When I was on A/C I had diarrhea too. The doctor told me to take Imodium. Did the doctor tell you what to take for it? He should be treating it. But get anything you take ok'd with doctor.

    Let your daughter and others do the work this year. You get to be the princess. So just enjoy yourself.
  • brenda247
    brenda247 Member Posts: 124
    sorry
    no you not flunking chemo its just so very hard sometimes.. i had dirreahea and thought it wasnt gonna stop but i took immodium everytime i was suppose to and after it got in my system good it did work.. so dont worry let everyone wait on you and take care of yourself and hope you feel better soon!!

    i took 6 rounds of chemo just got finished oct 1 2009 and my counts were so messed up the entire time.. but you hang in there take your meds and it will get better..
    best of luck to you!!

    HUGGSSS
  • ladybug22
    ladybug22 Member Posts: 646
    love comming your way
    love and hugs to you hang in there
  • elizarose
    elizarose Member Posts: 124
    I know EXACTLY how you
    I know EXACTLY how you feel!!! I had similar problems with a/c and after the 3rd treatment had to take a 2 month break in which I had hemorrhoid surgery! It was the most painful part of the whole process. I saw a GI doc and dietitian also. One thing she suggested that helped, was to take benefiber. It can help with diarrhea and constipation because it has both kinds of fiber in it. Maybe you should ask about that. It helped me a lot. I also had to take imodium to help with the diarrhea. They also gave me cortisone suppositories for my bottom which helped. And I also bought a sitz bath and used it every time I had a bowel movement, which during chemo, was a lot! I also had some fever with taxol although not as much as you seem to. And...nose bleeds.
    Be kind to yourself and don't feel guilty at all!!! You're fighting a battle and you're doing a great job! Enjoy your daughter and don't hide how hard this is. I'm sure she will want to help and encourage you because she loves you!
  • tgf
    tgf Member Posts: 950 Member
    Hang in there
    No ... you are not flunking chemo. I just can't imagine all of those medical people not being able to help you. It sounds miserable. Have you tried Immodium for the diarrhea? If that didn't help ... it seems that there must be a prescription for something stronger that would work. During chemo I had extreme constipation and found that I needed to take two stool softeners a day to help with that problem. I also developed a really sore bottom ... hemmoroids and a rash ... OUCH ... but I had rashes in other parts of my body too so my oncologist sent me to a dermatologist who prescribed some stuff.

    I can't imagine a doctor telling you to wait for 9 more treatments. I guarantee you if he/she had the same problem. They wouldn't wait for help. I'd beg and plead for help ... because there just has to be something that can make you feel more comfortable.

    Hang in there ... and don't give up ...

    hugs.
    teena
  • cindycflynn
    cindycflynn Member Posts: 1,132 Member
    So sorry you're going through this
    and don't ever feel you need to apologize! We are here to support each other, which includes YOU. When you don't need the support and have the energy to give back, then you are welcome to do so, but for now just try to accept that you are the one that needs a little TLC.

    When your daughter comes for Thanksgiving, give her the gift of allowing her to help you. I'm sure it will make her feel good to actually be able to give some of the love and help back to you that you've given to her all of her life. I know it always makes me feel good about myself to be able to help others (it's actually a little selfish, but I think in a good way).

    I hope that you will feel better soon, and in the meantime just keep telling yourself that the treatment won't be forever, but the cure will be!!

    Take care,
    Cindy
  • Lynda53
    Lynda53 Member Posts: 210
    Hey I flunked chemo 1st!

    Hey I flunked chemo 1st!

    I'm allergic to the taxotere and had to stop it, sounds like the just don't have you figured yet.
    Listen to your onc, take your fluids, I used stool softener and anti diarhea for 3+ days after chemo. Be sure to eat.
    It will get better, and you will too, the struggle will lighten.
    Positive vibes and warm hugs to you
    Peace
  • carkris
    carkris Member Posts: 4,553 Member
    Lynda53 said:

    Hey I flunked chemo 1st!

    Hey I flunked chemo 1st!

    I'm allergic to the taxotere and had to stop it, sounds like the just don't have you figured yet.
    Listen to your onc, take your fluids, I used stool softener and anti diarhea for 3+ days after chemo. Be sure to eat.
    It will get better, and you will too, the struggle will lighten.
    Positive vibes and warm hugs to you
    Peace

    I do take Immodium at last
    I do take Immodium at last resort as I am afraid of constipation. and benefiber. I took it this morning because I was sick of it. but have pain from pressure. If my bowels could sort out.... I think I expected taxol would be easier. I did tell them I did not believe them it was better than AC, and it is from many standpoints, I am glad that is over. I am not one to even stay home to much let alone be cooped up in my room tied to the Bathroom. to depend on others is maddening. and to feel so out of the loop. My onc just doesnt really know what else to do, and prob feels this is my reaction and we will follow it, but as you say its not him dealing with it. Sometimes I get mad and think if you administer it you need to know how to fix it. he's not new at this. I have emailed and said the Gi issues need to be fixed. He knows my husaband will not let me stop. My extended family says keep going, we want you around. I dont involve my kids. 19 and 16 year olds. Oldest first year in college. Perhaps now that I am connected with the dietician things will be better. Oh and most importantly thank you for the responses they are making me feel better and I will try to remember the long term goal.
  • carkris
    carkris Member Posts: 4,553 Member
    carkris said:

    I do take Immodium at last
    I do take Immodium at last resort as I am afraid of constipation. and benefiber. I took it this morning because I was sick of it. but have pain from pressure. If my bowels could sort out.... I think I expected taxol would be easier. I did tell them I did not believe them it was better than AC, and it is from many standpoints, I am glad that is over. I am not one to even stay home to much let alone be cooped up in my room tied to the Bathroom. to depend on others is maddening. and to feel so out of the loop. My onc just doesnt really know what else to do, and prob feels this is my reaction and we will follow it, but as you say its not him dealing with it. Sometimes I get mad and think if you administer it you need to know how to fix it. he's not new at this. I have emailed and said the Gi issues need to be fixed. He knows my husaband will not let me stop. My extended family says keep going, we want you around. I dont involve my kids. 19 and 16 year olds. Oldest first year in college. Perhaps now that I am connected with the dietician things will be better. Oh and most importantly thank you for the responses they are making me feel better and I will try to remember the long term goal.

    Lynda how do you feel now?

    Lynda how do you feel now?
  • elizarose
    elizarose Member Posts: 124
    carkris said:

    I do take Immodium at last
    I do take Immodium at last resort as I am afraid of constipation. and benefiber. I took it this morning because I was sick of it. but have pain from pressure. If my bowels could sort out.... I think I expected taxol would be easier. I did tell them I did not believe them it was better than AC, and it is from many standpoints, I am glad that is over. I am not one to even stay home to much let alone be cooped up in my room tied to the Bathroom. to depend on others is maddening. and to feel so out of the loop. My onc just doesnt really know what else to do, and prob feels this is my reaction and we will follow it, but as you say its not him dealing with it. Sometimes I get mad and think if you administer it you need to know how to fix it. he's not new at this. I have emailed and said the Gi issues need to be fixed. He knows my husaband will not let me stop. My extended family says keep going, we want you around. I dont involve my kids. 19 and 16 year olds. Oldest first year in college. Perhaps now that I am connected with the dietician things will be better. Oh and most importantly thank you for the responses they are making me feel better and I will try to remember the long term goal.

    one other thing you might
    one other thing you might try is yogurt or some way of getting the good bacteria in your digestive tract. There are pills if you can't tolerate the yogurt. I'm really sorry you're suffering so much. Oh, sometimes alternative forms of medicine like accupuncture can help.
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    I went to chemocare.com and
    I went to chemocare.com and Taxol can absolutely cause diahrrea, ditto (tho it is not as likely) with Adriamycin, it is also a known side effect of Cytoxan.

    I know you are in pain~ having "normal" runs for a day is almost debilitating. I can only begin to imagine how you feel. (((((((((hugs))))))))

    On the other hand, let me assure you that you are NOT failing chemo! I would say that the responses you have already received have proved that beyond a shadow of a doubt. You are not alone in your reaction to the Beast Killing drugs.

    Thanksgiving can be refocused...being thankful that you are together, being thankful that your daughter is coming for the holiday, thankful that she will have the opportunity to show you what a lovely woman you raised, and how she is now in position to nurture you. The day doesn't need to be about anything but family, and time spent. Family photos, the remember whens, watching football, or old movies, or playing MadLibs, most any Memory Making activity can transform your day and make it special. You are NOT useless; so please stay excited! Turkey Pot pies, turkey sausage and eggs, turkey noodle soup, watching some old turkey of a movie on TV~ it is ALL thanksgiving!


    We all know this is a most difficult journey; none of us who walks it make light of any of it. It does though end up being part of your past, and you will emerge a most triumphant warrior-survivor. Do you feel a slight pressure in your hand? It is all of us here on the boards, taking turns holding it and giving it a gentle squeeze to remind you that we are all with you~ not just for TG, but every day.

    Hugs,
    Chen♥
  • BlownAway60
    BlownAway60 Member Posts: 851
    chenheart said:

    I went to chemocare.com and
    I went to chemocare.com and Taxol can absolutely cause diahrrea, ditto (tho it is not as likely) with Adriamycin, it is also a known side effect of Cytoxan.

    I know you are in pain~ having "normal" runs for a day is almost debilitating. I can only begin to imagine how you feel. (((((((((hugs))))))))

    On the other hand, let me assure you that you are NOT failing chemo! I would say that the responses you have already received have proved that beyond a shadow of a doubt. You are not alone in your reaction to the Beast Killing drugs.

    Thanksgiving can be refocused...being thankful that you are together, being thankful that your daughter is coming for the holiday, thankful that she will have the opportunity to show you what a lovely woman you raised, and how she is now in position to nurture you. The day doesn't need to be about anything but family, and time spent. Family photos, the remember whens, watching football, or old movies, or playing MadLibs, most any Memory Making activity can transform your day and make it special. You are NOT useless; so please stay excited! Turkey Pot pies, turkey sausage and eggs, turkey noodle soup, watching some old turkey of a movie on TV~ it is ALL thanksgiving!


    We all know this is a most difficult journey; none of us who walks it make light of any of it. It does though end up being part of your past, and you will emerge a most triumphant warrior-survivor. Do you feel a slight pressure in your hand? It is all of us here on the boards, taking turns holding it and giving it a gentle squeeze to remind you that we are all with you~ not just for TG, but every day.

    Hugs,
    Chen♥

    It's My Turn
    CarKris,

    You have always tried to help me in everyway you could. Now it is my turn. We all struggle through this, some more than others. At times it seems almost unbearable and we reach out for what we are comfortable with and feel we can rely on. You did that and we as a whole feel your pain and anguish. Frustation with a demon that you can not wrap your fingers around and sqeeze the life out of. It will not defeat you. We won't let it.

    Sending lots of hugs and prayers your way.

    Donna
  • New Flower
    New Flower Member Posts: 4,294

    It's My Turn
    CarKris,

    You have always tried to help me in everyway you could. Now it is my turn. We all struggle through this, some more than others. At times it seems almost unbearable and we reach out for what we are comfortable with and feel we can rely on. You did that and we as a whole feel your pain and anguish. Frustation with a demon that you can not wrap your fingers around and sqeeze the life out of. It will not defeat you. We won't let it.

    Sending lots of hugs and prayers your way.

    Donna

    Acidophilus or other Probiotic
    CarKris,
    I am very sorry that you have been having a severe reaction. Do not worry about"typical" side effects. Diarrhea and constipation are pretty standard, fewer is reaction to Chemo too.
    Ask you oncologist if you can take any type of probiotic supplement to improve microflora in your stomach.
    If you have diarrhea you diet ask dietitian for more help.
    I took Colice from constipation and yogurt.

    I wish you get better,
    New Flower
  • carkris
    carkris Member Posts: 4,553 Member

    Acidophilus or other Probiotic
    CarKris,
    I am very sorry that you have been having a severe reaction. Do not worry about"typical" side effects. Diarrhea and constipation are pretty standard, fewer is reaction to Chemo too.
    Ask you oncologist if you can take any type of probiotic supplement to improve microflora in your stomach.
    If you have diarrhea you diet ask dietitian for more help.
    I took Colice from constipation and yogurt.

    I wish you get better,
    New Flower

    Thank YOU
    you guys held me up today. Tears today but thankful tears I am so appreciative of your responses. I got a nice call today and a beautiful card too. Sometimes when I think God is not listening I am reminded he is. Thank you so much.
  • meena1
    meena1 Member Posts: 1,003
    carkris said:

    Thank YOU
    you guys held me up today. Tears today but thankful tears I am so appreciative of your responses. I got a nice call today and a beautiful card too. Sometimes when I think God is not listening I am reminded he is. Thank you so much.

    Stay away from dairy!! I
    Stay away from dairy!! I was on Taxol, and i had a problem with yogurt, eggs, etc. I was actually eating yogurt and eggs thinking they had protein, were healthy, blah blah blah, and here they made me worse. go figure! Be Well
  • carkris
    carkris Member Posts: 4,553 Member
    meena1 said:

    Stay away from dairy!! I
    Stay away from dairy!! I was on Taxol, and i had a problem with yogurt, eggs, etc. I was actually eating yogurt and eggs thinking they had protein, were healthy, blah blah blah, and here they made me worse. go figure! Be Well

    glutamine
    I have a question -anybody take glutamine? My doc says he does not know much about it? but others have said it helps. The dietician has said it helps some people with severe problems.
  • natly15
    natly15 Member Posts: 1,941
    Hope you feel those prayers
    Hope you feel those prayers coming your way. There is a saying that "God didnt bring us this far to abandon us". I'm delighted you received a spirit lifting card today. Those little things are reminders that we are not alone. Feel better.
  • Eil4186
    Eil4186 Member Posts: 949
    No you are not flunking
    No you are not flunking chemo! Everyone is different, and your doctors should be trying whatever they can to help you. Taxol is usually much easier for most people. Hang in there, and hopefully things will get easier. As far as the holidays, don't stress out about company. Let others take care of things this year. You have enough to deal with. Sending positive thoughts your way. Eil
  • mlmjt1
    mlmjt1 Member Posts: 537
    Hi Carkris
    Pick up some sensicare cream for your rectal area and bottom. Put it on thick...it will protect your skin from breaking down..and I would ask about metamucil or benefiber which should help form the stool.

    By the way, you are NOT flunking chemo. This is a really tough thing you are doing right now. Just hang in there.

    Hugs
    Lindat
  • lynn1950
    lynn1950 Member Posts: 2,570
    First, there's NO flunking
    First, there's NO flunking chemo. I had diarrhea from a/c, too and my oncologist told me that it was unusual and just seemed so unconcerned, but it was very concerning to me. I did not have diarrhea with the Taxol. Enough people have mentioned diarrhea with a/c to make it seem not so unusual at all! I hope that you have a respite for at least part of your "in-between treatment" week.

    You have a LOT of treatments (9 more still). I had 8 in all (16 weeks). My best to you.

    xoxoxoxo, Lynn