Please pray for my son

lolad
lolad Member Posts: 670
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
First off i want to tell everyone that im sorry i havent been on and posting for a while. Ive been tired and struggling to do everyday things with my chemo. I just want to ask if someone could pray that my son will be ok. Im worried about him. I thought he was handling my bc ok. We have talked openly about it all along. Apparently, my middle son Zach is very depressed about me and scared for me. He came crying to me last week and told me. I dont know if he finally realized what im going through because im now bald, or if he was just afraid to tell me. I called family cancer care center and they are sending someone to his school once a week for him to talk to because he asked to go to a support group or something. I had a hard time finding a support group for children which i think there should be more. Anyways, i am just very worried about him now. He cries alot and has become very quiet. Thats not my Zach. I wish he didnt have to feel his pain. Its not fair.

laura
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Comments

  • Fran1947
    Fran1947 Member Posts: 72
    Praying for him right now!
    Hi Laura,

    I am so sorry that your son is having such a hard time - he must be a wonderful person, though! I am praying for him right now and will keep him in my prayers.

    I go to a cancer support center in the LA area that includes a support group for children. The family cancer care center sounds very helpful.

    Hugs & prayers,

    Fran
  • creampuff91344
    creampuff91344 Member Posts: 988
    Fran1947 said:

    Praying for him right now!
    Hi Laura,

    I am so sorry that your son is having such a hard time - he must be a wonderful person, though! I am praying for him right now and will keep him in my prayers.

    I go to a cancer support center in the LA area that includes a support group for children. The family cancer care center sounds very helpful.

    Hugs & prayers,

    Fran

    Dear Laura,
    You and your

    Dear Laura,

    You and your family are in my prayers, and hopefully in the prayers of many on this board. It is good to know that there are services out there that will address this issue with children, as they just don't understand what is happening to their "stability" when a parent is sick. Keep posting as to his progress, and you and your family will certainly be in my thoughts in the coming weeks. Hugs,

    Judy
  • chickad52
    chickad52 Member Posts: 497
    Laura
    I will be praying for your son. I'm sorry to hear he is having a hard time. Our local ACS has a family support group. Maybe you could find one in your area. Hugs and Prayers, Diane
  • lynn1950
    lynn1950 Member Posts: 2,570
    Hi Laura - Our cancer is
    Hi Laura - Our cancer is hard on our children and sometimes younger children feel like what happens to us is their "fault," so having counseling available is really important. What a strong person you are to take such good care of your children as you go through chemo yourself. Of course I will pray for Zach. xoxoxox Lynn
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    Oh sweetie~ I also hope that
    Oh sweetie~ I also hope that you will find some support in your community~ as others have said, oftentimes the cancer center or the ACS has just what you and Zach might need.
    Bless your heart for being the mom you are, the warrior-sister, and Survivor!And a special nurturing hug for your son!

    You are never more than a thought away from our hearts and minds.....

    Hugs,
    Chen♥
  • Wolfi
    Wolfi Member Posts: 425
    Thinking of you and Zach
    Laura,

    Even though both of my kids are in high school, my daughter has had a difficult time with my bc. When I found out that she hadn't told ANYONE (friends or teachers) at school that I had bc I called and talked to her counselor about it. The counselor called my daughter into her office to let her know she could come in there if she ever needed to talk to someone about my cancer.

    My advice would be to keep talking to Zach (and keep listening). My daughter is a talker (social butterfly) and I find out more about how she's doing by just letting her jabber away when she gets home from school. Many times she will let things slip out while she is talking and I have to pay attention to make sure I don't miss the small clues. There have been a few times when I've picked up on her being upset or wondering about something without saying it outright. At that point I speak to her and find out more about how she's feeling.

    It's good that Zach will be getting some other people to talk to at school. Sometimes if another person tells him things will be ok with you he will start to relax and not be so upset. I pray thing get better for both of you.
  • Akiss4me
    Akiss4me Member Posts: 2,188
    Laura,
    I will absolutely keep you and your children in my prayers. Geesh, this is hard on US, so I could only imagine how tough on your children. I admire you for your courage in going through this and raising 3 children on top of it. My children are grown and I have a hubby that looks out for me and I can barely manage. I know, as a Mom, that we are effected deeply when we watch our child go through a struggle. Children are resilent and Zach will eventually work through his feelings. He has a great and strong Mom to lean on! You are doing all the right things to help make that happen. Hang in there and give him lots of hugs and know he will make it through also. Pammy
  • VickiSam
    VickiSam Member Posts: 9,079 Member
    What I did .. I asked my 2 children 18 and 22 to write me a
    letter expressing their feeling, fears and concerns. Your children are much younger, perhaps you can ask them to draw pictures - a booklet describing what they think Breast Cancer is all about, Have them ask questions .. maybe take 30 min's out, every couple of days as a group after homework and dinner .. discuss. You may even mention your own fears, lightly toned of course. If not .. tell them about the testing, waiting room experience .. how the waiting perhaps made you late for school pick up .. connect on their level. Zach is afraid of loosing his Mommy. And if I recall, you are a single parent - so this scares your children to death, on a deep emotional level.

    Call ACS and ask for a family support group - maybe there is something in your area. If not, ACS can refer you another agency.

    Breast Cancer is not fair, and it turns our world upside down. Husbands, Partners, children and friends are thrown for a loop. Communication, love and support will get us thru our fight. We are warriors!!! This is just another facets of our bc journey.

    Good Luck,

    VickiSam
  • lolad
    lolad Member Posts: 670
    VickiSam said:

    What I did .. I asked my 2 children 18 and 22 to write me a
    letter expressing their feeling, fears and concerns. Your children are much younger, perhaps you can ask them to draw pictures - a booklet describing what they think Breast Cancer is all about, Have them ask questions .. maybe take 30 min's out, every couple of days as a group after homework and dinner .. discuss. You may even mention your own fears, lightly toned of course. If not .. tell them about the testing, waiting room experience .. how the waiting perhaps made you late for school pick up .. connect on their level. Zach is afraid of loosing his Mommy. And if I recall, you are a single parent - so this scares your children to death, on a deep emotional level.

    Call ACS and ask for a family support group - maybe there is something in your area. If not, ACS can refer you another agency.

    Breast Cancer is not fair, and it turns our world upside down. Husbands, Partners, children and friends are thrown for a loop. Communication, love and support will get us thru our fight. We are warriors!!! This is just another facets of our bc journey.

    Good Luck,

    VickiSam

    Thank you
    all for your thoughts and prayers for Zach and my other two children. Its nice to hear the kind words about me being a good mom for them too. I couldnt be any other way with them though. They are my rock and what has kept me going through all the hardships and struggles. Believe me, there were a few times i have doubted myself and would think how am i going to make it. Then i look at them and know that i will make it because of them. I love the idea of asking them to write about what they are feeling because i obviously dont know all there feelings about what im going through. I think when we talk about it, they are afraid to spill there guts to me on the negatives in their minds because they are trying to protect me. Ill tell them they dont even have to show me their letters if they dont want to. But if they want to we will do it any way they want to share. Together or alone or whatever. Im still so sad for Zach, he is struggling and i cant believe i didnt pick up on it. Im hating myself for that. Thanks again for the prayers everyone. I am almost done with chemo thank goodness. I will hopefully soon be dancing with NED! I cant wait.

    take care everyone and thanks again
    laura
  • RE
    RE Member Posts: 4,591 Member
    Praying for Zach
    Laura children are such wonderful little beings it pains me that your son is hurting as he deals with this scary situation. Zach is at the top of my list and I am sure God will hear us all as we lift him and your other little ones to him in prayer. It may be helpful for Zach to have something physical to help him understand better, I checked and there are several books on Amazon.com relating to cancer just for children. Perhaps if you copied the titles you could find them at your local library. I hope he is reassured soon, please update us when you can.

    Hugs,

    RE
  • outdoorgirl
    outdoorgirl Member Posts: 1,565
    Laura
    I am saying a prayer for him as well-I am sure that he is very worried about you!
  • MyTurnNow
    MyTurnNow Member Posts: 2,686 Member
    Laura, I am also a mother
    Laura, I am also a mother and can feel your pain regarding your Zach. I'll keep you all in my thoughts and I'm so glad to hear that you are almost through the treatments. We will make it and our children will make it too!! Good luck and take care.
  • aurora2009
    aurora2009 Member Posts: 544 Member
    lolad said:

    Thank you
    all for your thoughts and prayers for Zach and my other two children. Its nice to hear the kind words about me being a good mom for them too. I couldnt be any other way with them though. They are my rock and what has kept me going through all the hardships and struggles. Believe me, there were a few times i have doubted myself and would think how am i going to make it. Then i look at them and know that i will make it because of them. I love the idea of asking them to write about what they are feeling because i obviously dont know all there feelings about what im going through. I think when we talk about it, they are afraid to spill there guts to me on the negatives in their minds because they are trying to protect me. Ill tell them they dont even have to show me their letters if they dont want to. But if they want to we will do it any way they want to share. Together or alone or whatever. Im still so sad for Zach, he is struggling and i cant believe i didnt pick up on it. Im hating myself for that. Thanks again for the prayers everyone. I am almost done with chemo thank goodness. I will hopefully soon be dancing with NED! I cant wait.

    take care everyone and thanks again
    laura

    Laura
    I'm sorry I haven't been on much, so I just came across your post. I am and having been praying for both you and your family, I will send extra prayers tonight for Zach. I know how hard it is with kids and I think you did the right thing with going to his school counseler, it will give him an extra outlet for his emotions that he didn't have before.

    I did the same think with my little ones teacher shortly after school started just to give her a heads up with what was happening at home. And she was grateful to help, she also had noticed that he was more withdrawn and not quite as social as some of the kids, and she said this explained why when he drew a picture of me he included boobs. Obvisouly this is something on his mind that I didn't even realize he was thinking about.

    It's hard and you all will get through this but it will take time and work, the one thing I am sure of is that you are a great and loving mom. Take care dear friend and i can't wait to hear when your finally done with chemo.

    Your always in my thoughts, may God bless you all,
    Aurora
  • lovelylola
    lovelylola Member Posts: 279
    My prayers are with you and your children
    I'm usually don't use this tone but CANCER SUCKS! for us and everyone we love. You are doing the right things for your children. Listen to him (and your other two) and love him. I was a single mother with only 1 child left at home. I admire your courage as I don't know what I would have done if this beast had come knocking 10 years ago. Know that you and your children are in my thoughts and prayers. Sending internet hugs to you and Zach. Lola
  • ppurdin
    ppurdin Member Posts: 1,181
    Laura
    Reading this brings tears to my eye,s.I know telling my grown children was one of the hardest things to do.And them being younger would even be harder.God bless you for being such a good mother.I raised my two by my self and I know how hard it was.like you feel I don,t think I did anything great,just what I should be doing.Loving them with everything I had.You sound just like me.I will pray for you and your family.Zach will be ok,he has a wonderful mom that will see to that.God bless you.Love and prayers.(Pat).P>s. keep in touch and let us know how you are doing.
  • GG40
    GG40 Member Posts: 28
    ppurdin said:

    Laura
    Reading this brings tears to my eye,s.I know telling my grown children was one of the hardest things to do.And them being younger would even be harder.God bless you for being such a good mother.I raised my two by my self and I know how hard it was.like you feel I don,t think I did anything great,just what I should be doing.Loving them with everything I had.You sound just like me.I will pray for you and your family.Zach will be ok,he has a wonderful mom that will see to that.God bless you.Love and prayers.(Pat).P>s. keep in touch and let us know how you are doing.

    You can count on me to pray.....
    in fact I'm going to shut down and go do that right now. I'm so sorry Zach is having a rough time...it's very scary for kids, I'm sure. Think about the insecurity that we feel and then triple it for a kid...hang in there and just love and assure him. I'm praying. GG
  • marilyndbk
    marilyndbk Member Posts: 238 Member
    Laura,
    I will say a special

    Laura,
    I will say a special prayer for your children. It sounds like you are doing all the right things. Bless us all. Marilyn
  • lmmo
    lmmo Member Posts: 56

    Laura,
    I will say a special

    Laura,
    I will say a special prayer for your children. It sounds like you are doing all the right things. Bless us all. Marilyn

    Laura
    I am sorry about what you are going through. My son (19) spent most of his time out of the house this summer but is at college now with some great friends. However my daughter (17) was having the hardest time. My husband had colon ca in 2003 and we went through all of this before...she was like a rock. This time it hit her hard. She begged me to find someone she could talk to. She and I are both in therapy. We each have our own therapist.
    This has been very beneficial. She is more positive and coping better. I hope you can find something to help you and your children.
    Lisa
  • aztec45
    aztec45 Member Posts: 757
    Prayers Coming Up
    I am sorry to hear how Zach is effected by your cancer. I know he loves and cares about you a lot. Hopefully the counselors can help him. Maybe if you could find a group of kids who have parents with cancer so he could talk with them - maybe that would help.

    At any rate, I am wishing you the best and praying for you and your family.

    P
  • lolad
    lolad Member Posts: 670
    aztec45 said:

    Prayers Coming Up
    I am sorry to hear how Zach is effected by your cancer. I know he loves and cares about you a lot. Hopefully the counselors can help him. Maybe if you could find a group of kids who have parents with cancer so he could talk with them - maybe that would help.

    At any rate, I am wishing you the best and praying for you and your family.

    P

    Thank you
    Everyone. I found zach someone to talk to through family cancer care. They will go out to his school once a week for him. I also found a family support group for all of us to go to. That starts in about a month. Zach starts this week with his. Its so hard on everyone. I hope the counceling for him will help, im sure it will. I think its cool that they are going to his school too. Thanks again everyone.

    laura