Half finished with chemotheraphy_Getting rid of baggage

Ms_Nellie Member Posts: 40
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
I have been hanging around here for a while just keeping up with everyone. It has been a while since I posted, but I am back now. The chemotheraphy treatments has not been too bad. The side effects of the drugs has been managable. The steroids sends my blood gluclose levels into orbit for a few days right after treatments. I'm managing the diabetes better as I go through the treatments. I have completed 3 cycles and have 3 to go before radiation theraphy starts. I anticipate being through all the chemo and radiation by the end of the year.

I have been able to maintain a positive attitude through all of this. I really do know that I am blessed, even if I have to deal with the breast cancer. I usually work from home the week of treatment and return to work the following week. It helps a lot to be able to go to work when I can.

There is one experience I've had that came out of left field for me. The one person I thought would be there through all this is amazingly absent and somehow it's my fault. I refuse to take the responsibility for someone else's issues. I think it may be a case of a partner not knowing how to accept my illness, and also not knowing how to communicate regarding their feelings or fears. Actually they disengaged the day of my first treatment. I have gone through this much without them until I actually don't want to bother them or be bother with them anymore. I am not alone, because so many caring compassionate people are in my life and want me to know that they are here for me.

My problem with my partner is their way of saying "you know I love you and will do anything for you, just call me and let me know what I can do" (bullcrap). My issue is if you have a very close relationship with someone, they should want to be there even when you don't ask them to be. I am at a point now where it will be better for all involved if I let this individual go on and deal with the things they can and leave me the hell alone. I am really over it all already.

My healing room that I created has been great, especially since I have been a bit down lately.
I think I am being realistic about things and understanding when possible. I get to ride my motorcycle between treatment cycles. Now that the riding season is almost over I have started practicing my shooting since I belong to a winter bullseye league. I am also still taking my piano lessons and teaching myself the electric guitar and mandolin. I do best with the piano for now.

Enough for now, just wanted to come here where I feel like someone care even if I don't know you, I feel a part of this group. I am more than the cancer I am fighting, and I will survive this as I have other circumstances in my life. I am a fighter and always will be, it's just the way I am.

I will keep hanging around in the chat rooms and reading the posts here to keep in touch and keep you all in my thoughts and prayers.

Take Care and have courage



  • Reikigemgirl
    Reikigemgirl Member Posts: 278
    It hurts....
    when someone who cares disappears when the going gets rough. Glad you have loads of other people in your life who care and you are not alone. That makes it easier to move on. One other possibility is that the person just doesn't know what to say or do in this situation and aren't talking to you because of that.

    Hats off to you for all that you do. You are an inspiration to me because I have pretty much been a lump on the couch watching t.v. since my diagnosis. I go for my 2nd chemo today and hope it goes as well as the first one and maybe I can get more active too.

    Thanks for the inspiration.

    Love and Light,
  • MyTurnNow
    MyTurnNow Member Posts: 2,686 Member
    Nellie, I know the hurt when
    Nellie, I know the hurt when someone you care about disappears. I have 2 very close friends that have just vanished. One is a nurse and I thought of all people, she would be there to support and help me through this journey. But, it's not meant to be. Luckily, I'm like you in that I have wonderful family and other friends that have been and continue to be my support. Perhaps my 2 friends think what we have is contagious. I'm not sure, but I know we'll be stronger once this beast is slayed and we're on to our "new" life. I am a fighter like you and a very positive person. We will conquer!!!
  • Marcia527
    Marcia527 Member Posts: 2,729
    When I went through
    When I went through treatment I didn't expect anyone to do anything. I didn't expect support. I just thought it was something I had to do myself. This was the first big illness I had. So when people supported me it was a pleasant surprise. Some I didn't hear from but that was ok because I wasn't expecting anything from them. I found this site after treatment and was surprised at the number of people who post about lack of support. I just never thought about it. Some people don't realize and time flies and before you know it treatment is over. If you need support sometimes you have to look for it and ask. Most people don't know what you are thinking. And they haven't been through this so they don't understand. Others can't handle it.
  • Bella Luna
    Bella Luna Member Posts: 1,578 Member
    The Glass is Half Full...
    Congratulations on making it half way. You have a positive attitude and are keeping busy with lots of interesting hobbies. It sounds wonderful and is very encouraging to us who are new and starting our own journey. Yes, you will get through this and so will I!

    Thanks for posting and best of good luck with the rest of your treatment.

    Bella Luna
  • ruthielaine
    ruthielaine Member Posts: 59
    We're here for you
    I'm sorry that you have a vanishing friend but I guess they're only human too and maybe they are having trouble coping with your illness. Know that there are lot of people here for you -this has been such a support for me because these people actually can understand what we're going through unlike friends and family. I figure if I have only 1 person I can depend on (which is about all I have) then I may have 1 more than someone else. The bottom line is we have to be strong on our own and you sound sooooo strong so hang in there. You're doing great